Questions you ask upon meeting people

Dear American Residents

I notice some kind of agressiveness towarsd Europeans in this Thread.

Lets get this clear the reason Europeans ask for 'were do you come' from is simple: we are used to deal with and adapt our behaviour to different cultures languages and people. We are not like ignorant americans who believe everybody has to think, behave, interact and even be and think like them to be considered worthwile talking to.

We do appreciate differences, accept them and actually love them - it's part of our cultures. Its entertaining and interesting! Hence it is for us absolutelly legit to ask that question. We actually expect that question and expect an answer. not answering is rude, very rude. If somebody would answer that one with silly answers i turn around and leave.

On top of it, that question is an opener for good conversations.

The world goes not from California to Florida , there is live outside the states, a lot of live.

Cosmopolitan Regards

Wolfgang

since in RL we cant open someones profile the initial meeting with someone we just met is quite a bit different.

I do dislike being asked the ole a/s/l this just seems rude to me however, I do generally answer the a/s/l and go on about my business. In doing so I was polite to the questioner but that person will never make my friends list.

Y'know, SL is Role Playing. Pure and simple. And hey, if you are nto comfortable giving out the info, rather than making a big deal of it, why not just Role Play where you are from and pick a place that you would like to be from. When I used to do telephone sales, many years ago, we had a script. it included tellign th eperson you were callign your name. "Hello Sir or Maam this is <Thom Daphis> how are you today? I 'd like to sell you a blurf!"

Well the first thing they dtold us was pick a name, it doens't have to be your own. Same here. No one ever said how many layers of RP you are restricted to, same as the girls that are actually boys pretending to be girls...

OMG - where in the world did you come up with the idea that this is animosity directed
toward Europeans?!?!?!

My intent when I asked the original question was my curiosity as a newbie: what questions
do you ask, how do you respond, etc - just asking what was typical, really. My main thing was regarding age, actually. But this has turned into a great discussion with various views regarding questions, etc, and now you have accused "ignorant Americans" of being narrow-minded imbeciles??

What did I miss?

Yes, I am well-aware that CA-FL is not the be-all end-all of the world. I've had one person ask me where I was from, and it turned out we are from the same state - 3 hours apart, actually. I've also met great people from Puerto Rico, England, and Italy, just to name a few.

Sheesh . . . Someone please enlighten me as to where the lambasting of other nations has occurred on this thread.

Well you did a gret job of imitating us Rude and Agressive Americans there. Congratulations. Pass Go and collect 200 Euros.

Except, Evidently, American differences.





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PS -

As a student of history its ironic to me the difference between Western Europe and the United States is considered by many people to be a significant cultural divide.

A case could be made they are the SAME culture.

Barring that definition - never in history have cultures so far apart geographically had so many simalarities as the United States and Western Europe.

Nearly all the bickering is actually the result of Ill Will about politics.

The same sorts of things that led to all those wars the Europeans had between themeselves for so many years.

You give out Social Security and Credit Card information out? If so, can I have it?

Wolfgang,



I read your entry and have trying to figure out why you reacted as you have. Then it hit me: Europeans do ask "Where do you come from" or a similar full sentence. My reaction (and I suspect many Americans reaction ) to this is quite different than the shorthand question "a/s/l".



a/s/l is shorthand -- it's often used as an introduction to cybersex on Yahoo Chat and other forums. Usually by teenagers or Folks who claim to be from Ghana and want to be your wife.



"Where do you come from?" as a sentence is usually regarded far more warmly. If the person is protective of their RL information the answer is usually "The us", "the west coast" or "My time zone is GMT -X". If they are more open they will respond with their State or City.



Do you see the cultural difference? One is the mark of an immature mind or a scammer. The other is a common question and answered as such.



HTH,



Elseer R.

Elseer I think you are right - there is a big difference between asking a proper question and firing off text shorthand.

I will rarely respond to shorthand but will always answer a proper question.

I agree there must be an element of culture differences as well,.

Living in the UK which has such a wide mix of people from different cultures it is a very natural part of a conversation to ask someone whare they come from, this is genuine interest not meant to be a sign of rudeness.

But all said and done, you only have to give as much information as you want to.

That's my point. Of course one needs to invest a bit upfront trust in somebody asking that question and assume it's for inocent reasons. Does it make me vulnerable to identity theft or scams when I say: I live in Mijas Costa Spain? (Which I do).

My starting point is usually: hi how are you, followed by a genuine compliment
(if possible...l<<laugh>> next is already: where do you come from

Regards

Wolfgang Brand

No "we" don't.
(Please do not make the error of assuming that "we" from any European country share a common view on this - or anything else - just because we live in the same geographic region)

It all depends upon in which context and in which way the question is asked.

If somebody runs up to me, place themself in front of me, blocking my way and fires off the inquisitive words "Where u from?", I'll simply tell them the name of the island where my home in SL is.

If they then go on "No,no, in RL?", I'll tell them that this is SL and RL is not important here.

On the other hand, if at some later point in time, during a conversation, it somehow becomes relevant, I certainly don't mind answering the question and all my friends here in SL know this and a whole lot more.

Then consider me very very rude.

And I have seen too may times, after having answered the question with my RL location - apparently not to their satisfaction - that they will just turn around and disappear without a word. Sometimes with a "Sorry".
That is rude - very very rude.

Then you probably don't want to meet me.

Another newbie question is along the lines of: "what is this game?" or what am I meant to do here?"

As someone who came to SL from UK, I think I have noticed a slight difference in the interpretation of Second Life by different nationalities. Some nationalities seem to 'get' SL better than others. Americans, not surprisingly as it's their baby, seem on the whole to be good SL-ers, at least as far as buying into the in-world experience.

I re-phrases that: Most of us do. It's also become an habbit.



Well, that's different obviously, it's common courtesy to great and see if that person actually responds before being 'noisy'. I took that bit for granted in my post.

Wolfgang

Perhaps you'd like to rephrase this comment, as well:


"We are not like ignorant Americans who believe everybody has to think, behave, interact,
and even be and think like them to be considered worthwile talking to."



I really don't think that delivering insults is necessary in order to make your point.

Yes Jenna.. I am with you .. I usually snap back with something smartass too..like "can't you read english, my profile clearly states I do not mix RL and SL".. and sometimes.. even worse than that, depending on my mood. Someone recently sent me a joke, and I am sure you have all heard it , but.. here goes..

" A girl from New York and a girl from the west coast were seated side by side
on an airplane.


The girl from New York, being friendly said, "So, where ya from?"


The west coast girl said, "From a place where they know better than to use a
preposition at the end of a sentence."


The girl from New York, sat quietly for a few moments and then replied:


"So, where ya from.... bitch?"

Have a good one!

I generally refrain from asking people questions when I meet them for a variety of reasons:

1) It's nosey, rude and shows a lack of imagination of subject matter.

2) As someone who was a bit of an accidental globetrotter as a child I got fed up with people asking me 'where are you from?' over and over and over. I call it the 'may I see your passport please?' conversation.

3) I can find out more about a person by hanging out with them, shooting the breeze and observing their behaviour and reactions.

4) People can lie through their teeth about their supposed RL life if they want to and there's very little anyone can do to verify the veracity of their claims thus rendering any interrogations pointless at best and dangerously misleading at worst.

That said, if someone wants to know my RL details I point them to my website. That usually shuts them up in a hurry!