Questions you ask upon meeting people

I don't ask them any questions. Not sure why I should. I don't ask ASL of people in First Life when I first meet them.

/me checks then quotes her profile SL birthday.


Meade stole her answer in that other thread from me.. The answer is "here, mostly" if it's in my home sim and "home" if not. The inevitable "no. where are you from in RL?" question gets met with an answer of "RL? Never heard of it."

Timezone (GMT-29) is about the old thing I won't evade, ignore or lie about. That and "are you over 18" which I always answer seriously.

IMO, if you want to start up a conversation with somebody in SL, talk about SL. Ask questions you have or answer questions they have. For girls, chat about clothes - anybody who asks me about my latest shopping contest gets my immediate attention. For guys, ask about guns and best lines to get girls.

do not ask questions unless they pertain to the topic of conversation

get asked where I am from a LOT, I just tell them a sim far far away

if they persist, I just politely tell them I wish to not share that info

why do they have to know where I am from, so badly, that they persist and insist I tell them?

I do not need to know where they are from.

why are you trying to sell me the popgun for a grand?

I don't know why people have a problem with the location question. I think it's a rather good conversation opener considering that the avatar standing next to you may be controlled by someone on the other side of the world. And if you live in a tiny town where someone could easily find you I'd suggest just giving them the name of the nearest large city. I'd guess that's what people are looking for more than your exact location.

I also like to ask if they've found any nice stores or interesting places to visit.

I don't understand the location problem, either, except maybe for the fact that there is a sort of gaming no-no for some in bringing real-life into it at all.

I'm usually on my land, building, so I get a lot of, "What are you doing?" after I say hiya.

I tell them. They generally don't know! Or they will say, "What are you doing here?" And I'll explain it is my land, my workshop, and I'm building a house.

If they ask me where I'm from, I tell them city, state, and country. (It's a big city.) And then ask where they are from.

I don't remember getting asked about age more than once or twice, and that's usually a sign to reply, "Old enough to be your mother." hehe

Course, then there are the ones with a different agenda, that almost invariably starts with, "You're pretty."

My all-time favorite was probably this girl whose first words to me were, "Are you a lesbian?" No, I said, are you? Oh no, she said, and didn't want to talk after that.

coco

Me too.

My usual reaction on being asked such a question is just to ask back: "Don't you think it's somewhat personal?"

The brighter ones usually get the hint and abstain from pressing the matter, and those who seem to be quite dense don't make for a good conversation in my point of view anyway.

Sometimes I make a fun of newbies (or n00bs, yes, the positive and negative types are both addressed...) asking me such questions - I tell them that they do have the means to get the information on their own if they're really interested... and their reaction shows me how much they mean what they say and what effort they put into SL in general.... either they finally find out how to read my profile (stating gender and country), that means they're dedicated or they simply give up.

If asked where I am from, and yes this question and others are quite a new experience, I will answer that I'm from SL or name a sim I am associated with. If pushed for RL location I will explain that I do not believe that has, or should have, any bearing on my, or your, SL experience.

I don't believe it's that most people have a problem with giving the information, it simply goes against what SL was about, at least when I joined.

For me, joining SL meant leaving all the RL divisions behind. It was a place where you could meet people who were, basically, as open minded and creatively excited as you were, and location, gender, sexual orientation or a myriad of other RL concerns simply weren't a consideration. I enjoyed things that way, it kept SL an open ended concept, giving truth to the term "Your world, Your Imagination"

Sadly, in the past 12 months, and moreso of late, there has been an influx of people who do not see SL in this way. They've come here to create a home away from home including bringing all their RL baggage and preconceived ideas along with them.

SL has lost something over recent months, something important and necessary to it's evolution into it's original concept. It is no longer the world which was promised but is fast becoming a sad reflection of sad people who have nothing better to do than concern themselves with what other people are doing.

The question, where are you from........ no one ever asked because it didn't bloody matter.

Even in RL, I am very used to asking this question. That's what comes from being out of your own country. But trust me, it is directed at finding some vaguely common topics, and is also a short-cut to avoiding basic social blunders, such as praising the French to an American (or vice versa).

I have stopped asking "age" and ask how long have they been here, ie in SL. If i take a liking to somebody i usualy ask where they are from because i met some very nice people when i fisrt arrived only to lose them because of the time zone difference, UK to US. Their location would not stop me making friends but it would allert me to the fact that i may not see them on line for a while. I have no qualms about giving my general location and have not been asked my age.

LOOL...Colette. I have noticed that many guys are often too gentleman to ask a lady for her age, and respond sort of relieved if you disclose that information spontaneously... *g*

The line a/s/l brings back a lot of weird memories from being on AOL 12 years ago. My typical response became "old/dangling/sitting in front of my computer."

What I wonder is are these people to lazy to read profiles, or are they hoping for 21/F/California (or some other 'exotic' spot). In either case they seem too impatient for actual conversation, where real information is best learned.

Reading this thread is like flashing back to the days when chatrooms went from a couple of servers run by varsity geeks to Yahoo chat and the whole world jumped on board. Before: interesting and deep conversations about intelligent topics, after: a text based pickup joint.
Welcome to SL as the new 3D internet

Common Questions I ask;
That is beautiful or interesting design, outfit, Did you make it?
Hello, How are you?
Do you need help?
What do you do you enjoy in SL to do?
Hey do you know how to do such and such?
If my hands are full of prims and they say they don't know how to build anything, I ask them if they just joined for some goofy reason when I can't stop what I am doing i.e making very tiny things to see what is in their profile.
It's interesting how many people don't really bother with profiles or even reading them.

As long as I am on the main grid, I assume everyone is of age of majority. So that is usually not a questoin that comes up, unless someone dates themselves with an obscure reference to some old movie or old style slang term. Now, if ageplay were to be an issue, I guess I could understand asking how old one is "playing" their avatar to be. Though the people that I have gotten to know, perhaps the OOC conversation has eventually gotten to age , but I can't imagine using it as an opener. That is normally something IRL I might ask a small child, expecting an answer to be displayed on fingers "this many", but never from anyone old enough to no longer use halfs in their age

As for location, I start my replies with country. If that is enough then fine. However, when they are in the same country, or perhaps know somethgin of my geography, they may ask for state. I don't feel any qualms about giving this out. It is merely in some cases smalltalk, looking fro some shred of commonality.. perhaps even to say Oh! Really, you are from Deer Poop, Virginia!! Cool, I once bought a bra that was manufctured there... Anything to get a conversation going... Break the ice...

In the old IRC venues I remember referrign to rumf's and wannafuk's.. Of course with the AV's looking some degree of male of female (Ruth's not withstanding) it cuts down on the rumf's ... but the wannafuks are still the same. When I ran some channels in IRC, I would take the time to help people get a better feel for the simple things such as "ice breaking" and "rp BDSM" and other "mature Cybering basics".. I think the rule of thumb would be if you wouldn't walk in to a crowded cocktail party and shout "Does anyone here want to spank me?" Then they probably wouldn't want to do it in my channel And we tended to be a bit more linguistically formal in our on channel interactions than some, though less than those in Gor channels. In many cases it was nto acceptabel to IM someone if you hadn't obtained their permission in channel, so we eliminated the ignorance of the perceived anonymity issues.

A lot of this is a matter of etiquite, however, much of net etiquite in general if not most social etiquite at all has gone by the wayside... The closest things I see to thsi are the rules that say No Drama, and No Griefing... I have yet to see people take to time to invite people into their corners of the world and "train" them in the basics. This has resulted in the sophmoric fumblings that cause such irritations as discussed in this thread.

Hit and miss, trial and error eventually each one will work out his pickup lines, and small talk. Of course as one lounge lizzard becomes a Don Juan, another one is born...

The choice is yours, blow them off, ot take a couple minnutes, and offer some guidance. See what comes of it.

I get much more frequently "Where can i make money?" than the "How old are you?" and I usually reply them "Why me?".

But the "Where you from?" makes a lot of sense, the place where you live tells a lot about yourself and your general tastes. Age doesn't.

Now I'm gonna ask them if they are a member of the LL Vice Squad...

Where can I make money?

That is a legitimate quesiton I guess. I have asked many of these people what they want with money? Because to me, money is not nearly as important as what you can buy with it. The usual response is "to buy clothes" or something of that ilk. This usually gets them a trip to some of the freebie areas, or a gift of clothing from some of the freebies I have amassed.

As well I explain that they too can make most anythgin they want if they take the time to try. I will give them a small demon stration if I have time at the moment, or they will get a trip to Icory Tower

I generally don't push people to camping or money trees, and suggest doign stuff yo ulike. If you can't figure out how to make money at that, then consider the fact that L$1000 is only abotu $4 USD or whatever

Oddly when I get asked that I ask them how old they are in RL and ask if they realize how stupid that sounds and if they know it makes them seem juvenile and inexperienced.

However I've only been asked that twice. Usualy the question is "Who are you and how did you get here; this is a new unadvertised {area|sim}", "yes? do you want something"

Elseer Rau
Chronic N00b sans portfolio
and crawler about of substructures.

I frequently get asked where I'm from, and I respond with my hometown. That's specific enough, and usually enough to get a conversation going.

I have yet to be queried with "A/S/L?" in SL, but when I do I can always fall back on my old IRC response: "I'm terribly sorry, but I don't know American Sign Language."

I do know american sign language and it deosn't come through too well in chat though

I have a sound file somewhere that sounds like a hockygame in the backgoround withe the anouncer declaring "5 minutes in the penelty box for age sex checking!" we use it in IRC all the time. That's one I dont' see here either people stepping to a group of people and asking "Age/Sex check?" of course, the answer to that used to be "I've got mine!"

I actually am bemused by asking someone's age, assuming we are all over 18 as supposed. I've never asked someone's age. I don't really care. it'll usually come out in conversation soon enough.

There seems to be a bit of a cultural change going on. When I first arrived in Second Life a year and a half ago, I was NEVER asked A/S/L or any equivalent thereof; I was asked about my interests, about my Second Life so far, and so forth. People just didn't pry about First Life information, though people will open talk happily about it if they are NOT pushed.

Recently, I have run into a lot of new residents who DO lead with real life questions. Partly it's people coming from other online environments where those questions are routine. Partly, it's that people have been arriving so quickly, we have not been able to educate them in the social norms of our unique community. And yes, when I'm asked those questions, I usually spend some time instructing people on why it's not a good thing to start with them; that many people consider their First and Second Lives separate, and are not comfortable about answering questions about RL.

I keep getting asked if I have MSN for some reason.