over-friendly neighboors

(edited to fix my horrible english)

hi! it's my first post, but i'm a lurk around for at least one month .

question, is, how do you deal with over friendly neighboors (and people in general)? like, people who really feel the need to enter your house and start a conversation, even if you're obviously busy and/ or in busy mode?

i'm living on this sim for more than a month now. since i build a lot i ended up setting up a sky plataform and deleting my ground level house entirely (actually i discovered i like living in a 40m wide plain cube... no furniture to rez = no lag . it seems like people are even more nosey now than before. i think if people don't see a house, but see a big black box on the map, they can't help but be curious and look for it. i can understand it, but if a place is closed, it probably means people inside probably don't want other people enter it.
today, i was in a "cross dressing" moment (creating a male shape for clothesmaking - i'm a girl). saw a guy coming closer in my hud, and didn't bother. next moment, he just appeared in front of me and tried to im me. i just logged off, i felt so embarassed - heck, i wasn't even naked, but i don't feel confortable with people seeing me in a male shape . actually, i don't even know if he was one of my neighboors, but another one of them did the same thing the other day (i know they're scripters - they probably used a gadget or something). and it's getting annoying. i don't want to ban or report anyone, they're nice people, but HECK, the WALLS are there for a reason .

Try moving your cube up higher, objects will show up on the map until they are higher than 400m, if you set your sky platform up at above 400m it won't show on the map, plus it is impossible for people to get to without proper equipment. For your own travel to that height, you'll need a jet pack, anti-gravity device or such (your HUD may already include one...)

Abbott's Aerodrome has a nice freebie teleporter that will get you 700 meters up, plus, I believe you can restrict it's usage to your group.

Plus, I'd talk to your neighbors, ask them to IM you before popping by, it's only polite.

This is reminding me of a vaguely annoying incident from a couple weeks ago. I saw one day that the entire neighboring area had been emptied (and that's a lot of land) and then spotted the landowner hovering over the land. I went over to ask her what's going on, and apparently my questioning was pestering her while she was busy splitting up her land to sell because she banned me after a couple of questions. It was most bizarre and a little upsetting, but I was only banned for like a day so whatever.


Y'know, I was just noticing last night that some stuff way up in the sky isn't visible on the map. This is good to know.

There's a freebie called a Flight Feather that someone gave me at some point. It allows you to fly past the normal height restriction. Before I got that, I would ascend really high by sitting on a prim and then modifying it's Z position to 500 (or whatever.)

There are a couple approaches, but in the end there is no 100% sure method to assure privacy. It does not fully exist in SL, unless you own a private island or an entire sim and close off all access to it.

1. As suggested, move up to 700m. Most people will not go that high when exploring. Downside: it is above the general ban limit.

2. Go back to ground level, and when you desire to have "privacy", just turn off access to your land (World|About Land|Access). This setting is only effective to 200m above ground level though.

3. Always keep your mini-map open. If there is an avatar within 40m of you, they COULD be watching you.

Either method is somewhat of a false sense of security. Camera panning will allow people to see you from some up to 40m away without you ever knowing they are looking. But perhaps you will be more comfortable when you don't see them watching .

When I'm working on projects at home and don't want to bothered, I just put a ban on the entire parcel until I'm done. (Even if it takes a week...hey it's my house!) That way I can leave my projects out and not worry if I'm gone. But I will add that I know and have known all of my neighbors surrounding both of properties. I introduced my self and send holiday greetings! Good manners go a long way, and a good neighbor makes for a happier life, so I'd take care to maintain a good relationship with those sharing my SIM.

Don't count on that 40m contraint.
There is a way to disable camera constraints and roam your camera anywhere in the region. Even underground!

Yeah. The psychological repurcussions of being 'walked in on' are understandable, given the RL parallels, but ultimately there's no such thing as privacy in Second Life. The camera is still limited by draw distance though, even with disabled constraints.

Edit: That was vague. I meant: Although the camera can travel huge distances, you won't see much more than terrain beyond your draw distance.

Taylor;
Thanks for the Tip about the Teleporter, I have need of one just now.

Moire;
You have some Good tips here already, But i want to add (Or stress) Be Polite, and simply Tell the people that you prefer your privacy. 99% will leave after apologizing. SL is a social environment, and people assume approaching for conversation is OK, but sometimes they forget there are proprieties to Observe. A Gentle reminder is usually all it takes.

Before setting up group Bans, and red lines and alarms, and Barbed wire, and Dogs, Just try talking first. You will be delightfully surprised how Easy it is, and how well it works. I've been doing it for Years now, and so far, I can't complain of the results.

Angel.

For access restricted the height limit seems to be about 40-50m above ground level, I think the 200m is when you're actually banned?

I THINK those are the old figures before the limits were raised. Explicit ban limit is now 768m above zero and access restriction is 200m above ground level.

EDIT: Well thats what is documented. Who knows if it actually works right or not

Those are some good answers for dealing with the issue from technical point of view. Non-technically a lot of these people can be dealt with quickly and easily by:

1) growing a thicker skin - just don't let them upset you. Whatever issues they have - rudeness, attention-seeking, juvenile behaviour - its nothing to do with you personally. If you get upset, they win.

2) effectively ignoring them. I usually give non-aggressive intruders a sentence or two, if I'm busy, e.g. "Hi. I'm really busy right now, would you mind>>>" They'll either leave or carry on rudely. Then I say "That mute button sure comes in handy". Mostly I don't bother muting them unless they're going through their newly acquired repetoire of gestures. So far every last one of them has left me alone at this point. They might swear at me first but as long as they leave I couldn't care less.

If I'm approached by a wandering newbie who isn't actually rude, just annoying because they obviously haven't spent ANY time on Help island and haven't got a clue, I'll ask if they'd like a LM to somewhere interesting/helpful. They always say yes. And whatever LM you give them, the immediately click on it. So they're not your problem anymore. Just don't friend them before they leave or they WILL be back.

And just to demonstrate that they I'm not a completely uncaring and callous human being I do give a useful LM. Heh.

Maybe some people can't manage this approach but it works for me. I know some people who actually let cold callers finish their first sentence, too. Bizarre.

Chellonia Regent

I like my neighbor, he's a nice enough guy, but he built a Club. Living next to a Club or Casino really sucks, with all the people lurking and typically sub-par building, the frame rate drops and lag ensues. I like the outdoors, my property isn't large but I have spent considerable time on the landscaping. Know when the club moved in... it was an eye sore. Client lag is caused by a few things, sim lag, many alpha textured polygons and slow computer. I like the guy well enough but the lag and occasional shouting was disturbing my peace... so I planted a few more trees and bushes. Trees are just a bunch of alpha textured polygons. A little passive aggressive, but it worked, he moved the club up to 500m. The club is high enough now I don't have to see it, and vice versa, so an improvement for everyone.

It isn't all bad living next to a club, it's a nice place to meet folks.

Sorry to drag this up again, but I'd forgotten about actually trying it . With a land level of about 22, the lowest height where I could fly over an access restricted parcel was 71.

I'm always very amazed, that this can be a problem at all.

For me, if I'm busy (both SL and RL), I simply tell people shortly "I'm busy right now, please let's talk later", or something like that.

And for those people who are always talking and never do stop, I simply interrupt by "I will move on now".

You can train that. For some people it is hard to interrupt another; but trust me, you can train this and it will improve your life.

This has so many parallels to real life.

At least in my country (Austria), I often feel that a lot people actually AVOID talking to others. We have a lot of lonesome people here, but it's their own fault.
Everybody just doing their work, and no conversation at all. For me, some important part of life get's lost there. Some of my neighbors even avoid going out of the door when I'm in the corridor. And believe me: I have many friends, I'm not stinking, and I'm not a talker.

I agree with Gordon and Angel .. and probably many others. Just a few well chosen (polite!) words are enough for me to discourage uninvited guests. I love exploring so understand others enthusiasm for it.
Yesterday, I did my usual local recce and blundered into a building with two people in it before it rezzed properly. It was still grey by the time polite conversation revealed it was a house and they were owner and prospective renter. I was alarmed/amused/concerned when the female prospective renter 'cried' cos she couldn't afford it, but I apologised and left. I've now met another member of my neighbourhood. I've forgotten his name and might never revisit but I hope we all gained more from the experience than anyone exploring my plot and slamming into my nextdoor neighbours banlined undeveloped plot and having to go round it.
Regards.

When I'm busy, I tell people I'm busy, most of them understand.

If I'm really busy and don't have the time to tell people I'm busy, I temporarily put a general ban on my land.

I also made a newbie note card with landmarks to useful places. I often give this to newbies who wander onto my land, that is, when I'm not too busy .

I actually wrote a security system that takes care of this problem for me.

I'm currently building a very large store, and I don't want people inside the store at all, so I set up my security system to watch for people all the time, and warn them first, and then eject them, but not ban them. The next time they come in, the system simply ejects them. If I am around, it will msg me and let me know who's in the vicinity. By that time they have been warned. The security system immediately closes and locks all doors in the building. A future system will also black out all windows. It's totally done, but not on sale yet. I've designed it to do many things that other security systems in SL, will not do. If you are interested in a demo, feel free to contact me

I'm not a fan of living in the sky, or running a business there, so I choose to stay on the ground. I have a jetpack that will allow me to fly to any height, so building a skybox doesn't help much. Especially when I can just sit on a prim and move it up to 400m and be inside your skybox.

I don't like ban lines, but this system sounds even worse to me.
How far does it eject folk ? How much time do they have to leave the building, after they've been warned, before being ejected ? Can they find the exit easily ?

I fly and sail around quite a lot, and honestly have had all sorts of problem with security systems. I usually don't have any possibility of leaving the place before being ejected. And my boat stays behind (even though it is a "flying tako". It kinda kills the fun.

I agree with Raindrop - this sort of unwelcoming attitude - or being remembered in SL as the Creator of the world's most revolting security system - are hardly likely to lead to a successful business.

The earlier comments in the thread about "say what you feel" and "most" people will respond accordingly (like go away when you don't want them) ring true to me.

I am also a sailor and "ban lines" are the bane of our life - the boat goes in but the AV doesn't - the boat can be lost forever - By the way does anyone "own" the jumbo jet in the sky at Catax - I would find out who you are and IM you, but I can't because its behind ban lines - its been there for ages (just hope its lots of prims !!!!!)

For me SL is a communal environment and getting talked to is one of the fun parts. As someone who wanders and explores a fair bit, ban lines and ejections and so on just irritate me vastly. Especially when it's the ban lines that make it hard for me to get from one of my plots of land to another that should be easy to walk to. But I suppose god(s) forbid I walk quietly over a corner of my neighbour's land while they're not even there. Every time I hit one of those things on a wander I just think "Why, exactly, are you in a shared environment when you hate people?"

I've found if I'm busy people mostly leave me alone when I explain I don't have the time right then, and having landmarks handy for newbies is always useful both for me and for them.

Very, very well put Chav! It's ridiculous.

In fairness I get that, okay, there's times one doesn't want to have to deal with random strangers. So far though I haven't had any real problems with a work platform at about 300m. It doesn't even have walls! I've missed people entirely by being deep in a building problem and just not paying attention to the world around me, it's a fairly quiet sim and with push off I'm safe from random orbits.

Seriously, what do people *do* in these No Entry zones? I find I do actually wonder what the terrible secret is when someone's almost-empty land is a ban zone. What are they building for if they don't want anyone to look at it? Why don't they just... log off? Or go to some game that's not a shared world? Am I just some sort of weird hippy?

or you could just mute them.

yer i have neighbours who have no entry on their land even though they are never there.

i think its the " i paid for it " so nobody else is gonna enjoy it.

I recently went access restricted on my main house and I doubt I'll ever go back now: I don't have any problems with someone walking across the front lawn, but apparantly a little green dot is just too much of a temptation to resist and not simply waltz in and come be a nuisance.
I met someone, who turned into a great and wonderful friend, who just passed by my house one day, but at least she had the curtesy to remain outside and simply say hello from there.

Too many times did I tp into my house and find a bunch of residents were using it as a meeting place, or others just merrily making the bed squeak. Too many times I tried to be patient and explain that residential areas are generally a personal space and they might want to be more cautious in the future and I'd just get plain ignored, shot at, insulted or griefed.

I'd be very surprised if anyone wondering why someone would want some private time (be it actually alone or with friends) never let the phone ring when you were home, or let the answering machine get it, or simply unplugged it. The same arguement applies there: why have a phone if you're not going to answer it all of the time? The answer has very surprisingly little to do with being anti-social.

(And ironically enough, someone just walked in on me in my other house where I don't have access restriction up for my neighbours' sake. No hi, no can-I-come-in, just walk right on in and wander about)