Addiction Councelling

Hi all,

I have a question, and to be honest, its been driving me nuts for ages now.

- Why o why is SL so unbelievably addictive? -

I mean what the hell? I’ve started on SL at the end of last year and since then its grown from a vague passing interest to a major part of my life. I can tell I’m having an issue here because;

1) My tv and me are no longer friends. I used to pay it lots of attention to it, especially after work on weekdays, has now been totally cut out… like 100% !
2) I constantly think of ‘lol’ as a valid response in RL conversations. It’s getting embarrassing.
3) SL friends feel just a close as RL ones. Right, straight up, I know this shouldn’t be the case. Back in my student days I remember learning that communication is something like only 7% of what is actually said with the rest being body language, facial expression, tone etc (all of which you cant get through IM!). But I reckon I am getting to the stage where I really do care for some of my AV friends as much as the fleshy ones I’ve know for years in RL.
4) I may actually get as much of a kick from SL shopping as RL shopping. In fact, I found for a relatively small amount of hard cash, you can buy a heap of new clothes in SL that you’ll never wear. Trust me its way more expensive to do this in RL.

All I can say is I constantly thank my lucky stars that I don’t have any access to SL from work Monday to Friday – I not sure I’d be able to help myself and it would be a recipe for disaster. BTW, just to clarify, all this had come as a total shock to me as I’ve never been into any other online communities or games (WoW etc) and then out of nowhere I’ve been bowled over by this place.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m enjoying SL in a big way .. just maybe its gone too far? Advice needed

Sarra
FBA (Full Blown Addict)

It's addicting because there is SO much to do and see. Not to mention there are tens of thousands of people that populate the grid at one time.

Would you consider RL addicting? Is the air you breath addicting?

1. My, look how SL has improved the quality of your life. You've gone from the noninteractive Vast Wasteland to the interactive one, and you're obviously having much more fun.

2. You have to be strong, and resist this temptation. People will look at you funny.

3. Get your RL friends to take up SL. Then you can meet them in either world - or both!

4. With all that RL money you're saving, you should soon be able to get a really good computer and make SL even better.

Do try to get out in the fresh air now and then, though; vitamin D from the sunlight, you know...

Hi, Sarra! Hi, Michael!

My name is Lindal, and I'm an SL addict!

(Chorus: "Hi, Lindal!"

I agree with Sarra. Yes, I do think SL is addictive. Unlike Michael, I'm not quite sure why...but I do know that, for many people, it can take over their lives.

I mean, just look at the screams of outrage from addicts suffering from SL withdrawal when the grid went down for a few hours last night.

But I'm not sure that SL's addictive nature automatically makes it a Bad Thing.

Sarra, take comfort in the fact that your SL addiction is unlikely to ruin your liver or give you lung cancer. There are worse things to be addicted to. But all of us SL addicts had better be careful...someone is likely to come along and want to take away our favorite drug "for our own good". I don't want some well-meaning social worker or politician to try to drag me out of my comfy little gutter.

you do now... zonkster.com lets you send messages to SL friends in-world all day long

I am in control of how much time I spend in SL. It's this damn forum that I am addicted to.

Ahhh, that's not news. I've been a forum junkie for years and years!

i, too, am addict3d


i got nothing else to say...

Dearly Darling,

I started out in dogs much the same as I did in SL. Maneo bought a gundog...then got a second...then bought a gun to match the brace....then I said "Oh...maybe we can do a few dog shows and see how we do...." We now have a serious kennel with LOTS of nice winning dogs...but they must all hunt, show, and do either obedience or TDI (Therapy Dog) activities or they don't stay.)

I found SL after reading an article about SL real estate... Pretend land?! THat I had to see....I came on a free membership and stayed...I hated my First Land neighbor (real Moo-er) so I found some new FL in Green...forced Maneo to join to buy it if I agreed to never spend another RL dime here in SL. Well..I now have a good chunk of Green, Have some great friends, Two of my RL sisters are here, and have named a few critters after SL folks. Tateru Nino O an Ultiegh will make her debute this fall...REALLY nice puppy. Her brother, Guy Linden, (I was not happy that they changed his name to Charlie...se la guerre)...already has his first CH point.

As I've said before, I don't know a great deal about computer things but everyone I've met here have been extremely helpful...I've moved beyond returning e-mails and know what an alpha channel is!

You all have a lovely afternoon!

Ever Yours,

Mrs. Showdog Tiger

I have a theory about the reason SL is so addictive, especially to an “older” audience range that you normally wouldn’t expect:

When most of us were kids, we were allowed to be creative. We had blocks and legos, we had dolls, we had games, we drew, we roleplayed, we made stuff and we colored outside the lines. As we grew up, we stopped being allowed to color outside the lines, we started being conditioned to be adults and leave the world of pretend and fantasy behind. We learned that there was no Santa Claus. By the time a normal person hits 30 they have been indoctrinated into adult life – car payments, rent/mortgage payments, spouses, kids, etc… We learn that society tends not to appreciate those who color outside the lines; your bank, your boss, your significant other all want consistency and responsibility. The adult world pounds down the nails that stick up. SL brings back all those things that we had as kids when we were allowed to be creative and have fun just for the sake of having fun. People whose souls have been slowly withering in RL come in to SL and bloom again.

I don't think its much different than when the internet started. We have gotten comfortable with how much time we spend on IMs, emails and internet research.

To me SL is just a version of the next thing and it includes freedom to interact and create. We are user content pioneers! Whoopee!

There's always 'just one more thing' you need to do in SL, just when you thought you could take a break. SL thrives on not being perfect but constantly offering either actual improvements or the dream of improvement!

I think the 'just one more thing' syndrome is the worst.

OMG how many times have I found myself thinking 'right I'm done for the night, and should go to bed .. just as soon as I reorganize my inventory'

Hello? Earth to me?

I would not be so bad, but I reckon I do stupid stuff like this nearly every night.

Yeah, with most non-chemical addictions the determining factor in whether or not something is truly an addiction or a necessity is social perception.

It used to be that cell phones were looked at as excess and not necessary. Now it's commonly acceptable to never leave home without one! What did we do before cell phones??

I (and some people I know) have gotten the "you're wasting time on SL" from significant others and when we go to hang out with them we watch TV or a movie.

Doing anything to the point that you neglect your responsibilities to your health, family and true friends is excessive and destructive behavior.

If you can look at your life and find nothing that does the above then you're doing alright and nothing popular opinion has to say about you really matters.

...or at least that's how I justify MY addiction to SL!

I guess this one confuses me. Why not? I met my fiance online back in 2003 through some forums where we had mutual interests, we fell in love and he flew out to my part of the country to be with me. This was four years ago, we've been inseparatelable since. I wouldn't expect *all* of my online friends to make such a sacrifice to be near me of course ^_^ but they are still precious to me as well.

But are you saying that friends you see every day are more important to you than childhood or college friends that you can now only talk to by phone, or every few years in person?

Does that hold for members of your family you cannot see in "person" on a regular basis also?

It sounds like the original poster is exchanging TV time for SL and I think that's a good sign. I am probably addicted too, but I don't watch TV any more. I occassionally read while I'm dancing on line, so I think it's a good trade off. Why should you worry how you're using your down time? It's yours. -- KC

Well, don't forget those people who try SL, shrug, and walk away muttering what is *that* about...

As for me, yes I am also addicted. I have one theory that ties this to the good 3D, that it pipes into your brain at a lower level then text does.

Consider basic behaviorism: you perform some action in a situation. if you are reinforced, you are more likely to perform that action again in the future.

in the case of SL, the situation is hanging around in your basement in your pj's (or wherever . You look at somebody (maybe even yourself). What you see pleases you (the reward). Therefore you are more likely to do that again in the future. There are a thousand little "trials" like this every day, and everyone of them shapes your behavior.

Worse (better) yet, you can easily escape from almost anything in SL that negatively reinforces you, or punishes you. Things in SL you don't like you just avoid. There is rarely a need to do things in SL that you don't want to do.

furthermore, everyone of us addicted to SL has (I hypothesize) something missing from RL that SL offers us. if you want or need something, you are reinforced to go where that thing is. My friend Bob goes mountain biking, or roller blading, or motorcycling every day after work. I don't do any of those things, I come here. Bob is getting his rewards, and I am getting mine...

A related thread on this subject:
/327/a5/184768/1.html

I believe the core of addiction is that the activity or substance is used to avoid difficult emotions or facing challenging life situations. The escape provided by the substance or activity fuels the "need" whenever the difficult emotions threaten to surface. With some substances, brain chemistry is altered so that ingesting more of the substance is the only way to quiet the craving, but I don't think that happens with addictive behaviours.

I didn't pick up on any of this with the OP's post. But this might be a good question to ask yourself. Are you avoiding anything when you log on and if so spend some time figuring out what you are avoiding and give that part of your life some attention.

You found something that gives you enjoyment. You have traded a passive entertainment, TV, for a more interactive one. You found an affordable way to enjoy clothes shopping. You have made some connections with human beings through an unusual form of communicating with them. All good things.

Enjoy.

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Brash .. Fair point, especially in relation to the phone. Its not that I don't think SL friends aren't great. I do.

But I'm definitely still only getting used to the concept that SL friends ARE every bit as close as RL ones. In fact there is no way I talk to most of my friends from childhood on a weekly / monthly basis never mind a daily one like I do with SL.

Its just one of the ways SL has/is changing my perception of things

If it's addicting, it can't be bad..lol. You're just changing one type of entertainment for another. If I had to choose between TV and SL, I'd choose SL anytime. Any therapist will tell you that there's nothing worst than sitting down for hours watching TV. With SL, you're not only reasoning and interacting, but also your fingers get a good excercise... A relative of mine has a lot of troble walking without aid, and since I introduce her to SL, her life has radically changed. She hasn't been so happy in many years. She can now make friends AND interact with them while in the security of her home. That's proof enough to me, that SL CAN be a good thing.

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Yeah - Absolutely.

Scarily, tv for me is close to being a thing of the past. I'd say I've watched one maybe two hours of it over the last 3 weeks. Pre-SL it would have been a factor of this.

The bit I still really do not get is the extent of time lots of people I know in SL (obviously including my addicted self) spend in world - > without getting bored of it?

I think there is something to that. I remember how I used to play in the back yard with my friends when I was a kid, creating whole worlds, building things, inventing civilizations and sagas. I get very much the same kind of excitement out of "playing" in SL.

But I can stop any time I want to. ... Really, I can.

Hi Sarra

Completely understand where your coming from. I first came into SL a couple of months ago when my partner tried to drag me into it and I only really stayed for a couple of hours. I guess I just wasn't ready for the full onslaught that is SL.

A month ago I came back into SL and here I am on my first month anniversary completely addicted. I've most probably now spent a small fortune on clothes, skins and shapes lol. It's like being a child in a candy store and you want to try everything. There are favourite places that I like to go to and hang out although I try as well to go to new places that I've not been to before and some I stumble across by accident. I'm now venturing into making my own male clothing range which is both fun and frustrating lol as I get to grips with photoshop. Something I've been wanting to do for a long time, the program has been sat on my computer and now here I am learning all about its different tricks and tools

Carthalis

They are still "real" people behind the avatars =) If you became emotionally attached to an artificial intelligence "computer-generated" personality, then your unease would be very understandable.

Like real people, they may or may not have "issues". Frankly the scariest relationship I had in my life was one formed long before I discovered the internet.

But whether you make a friend via Text, via Voice, via 3D animation, or via "meatspace" (ie RL) -- they are all still very real people behind the medium.