Some people....

Dragger, you are very intolerant of intolerant people. thats makes you as much a racist as the one who posted above you.


LOVE and LOVE alike!


I love you.....


am i pretty enuf for daddy to love me yet?

your correct and i appoligise for my mistake and have removed the offending part

thank you for bringing this to my attention

I dont think anyone deserves to be berated by strangers when minding their own business.

She said other than the collars and cuffs she was dressed normally.

One of the first things the woman said was "Slut" If thats the case this is obvious prejudice.

Id be inclined to agree with you if she was nearly naked in a leather harness at the foot of her Master in public. Simply wearing a collar and cuffs isnt an invitation to ask someone if they are a Slut and follow it with a Tirade.

Perhaps I hate roleplayers , is it all right for me to rip on you over the whole concept of the fantasy genere becuase your name sounds "fantastical" to me?

While yes I dont see the need to seek reassurance on the forums for being slighted that doesnt make what the woman did to her less wrong.

Mutes nice but its not a time machine that makes stuff never have happened.

Colette, do you really expect me to believe that these D/S luvvies are so fricken thin-skinned that they can't brush off a bit of guff? How do they survive in the real world?

I've had much, much worse thrown at me in my time in the real world and I've learned that laughter (occasionally backed up by hints & threats of legal action) works wonders.

Well its one thing to expect her to be more thick skinned - she should learn to be, true enough.

And another to excue the other woman's comments.

Of course theres a lot of insecure women in the world very quick to insult another for apearing to be sleazy.

Amoung funniest being my mother in Law - who though shes had 5 husbands and numerous affiars was always quick to say loudly and angrily that Kelly Bundy was a slut.

Tolerance is one thing... Intolerance another. And sorry to say, you give a nice example of the later.
Just hope no one may find you ever "different" from that what is common...

Morwen.

Wow, sounds like that lady who verbally assaulted the OP has a serious stick up the rear, which never ceases to amaze me since SL is the ultimate 'fantasy' land. Wonder what she does for SL entertainment....lol

Like everyone here, there are a few things I just don't get...Gor is one of them. I've made an effort to read and educate myself about the lifestyle- I still don't get it. BUT, so what I don't get it. It doesn't matter if I do or not. I support the ones who DO get it and their right to play however they want.

I have no doubt there are tons of residents who 'don't get' my interest in vampire role play. *smile*

And regarding intolerance, here is something hilarious to me: When I roleplay, I don't wear the white skin and all the tats/piercings, etc - I'm just me, a girly girl. it's about the actually wordplay for me.

So get this...I have actually had other vamp roleplayers tell me that my character ISN'T AUTHENTIC because I don't do the tradition look. LMAO Can you believe that?? I'm being spanked about doing something 'wrong' in fantasy play *shaking my head* Ain't SL grand?

BTW: I think Nekos are the most gorgeous creatures in SL. Where do you Kittens hang out?

How is bashing another group of people that you don't care for any less idiotic than the woman that bashed the OP?

As a general comment, for me it depends on context.

If I'm at a certain kind of club, or even browsing in a store like Draconic Kiss, then anything goes, because it's expected.

If someone's dressed in a certain way, or wants to talk a certain way, that's not something I care greatly about.

But if I'm shopping for shoes in a regular store, and a couple come along with all the chain dragging etc, then they're making me, without my consent, into a participant in their public roleplay.

From the original post, that doesn't seem to be the case. Maybe the other woman was just tired of an endless stream of giggling xcite spamming kajirae in every clothing store she'd visited, and the OP got the short end of her temper after a bad day.

Some people shackle their wrists .. some shackle their minds.
As long as some propriety is observed, SL can be a huge arena for learning .. and I've never before found learning so much fun.

LOL Solanghe ... so there's conventions for fantasy huh?

There are people whether online or not who enjoy being cruel and vicious because they can.
Sorry that happen to you but sadly there people and avatars out there like that.
Perhaps the woman assumed because you said you were slave, that it was okay to be vicious because she has some warped ideal of what that means.
I use to be in the scene in real life while I don't participate in any thing adult related here.
I will tell you one of the reasons I left was because of others assumptions and I got fed up with it, also I changed, my interest changed in this.
There are people I met in even in real life scene who treat slaves, even if they were not slaves but just low key, not very domineering indvuals. I have seen and experienced this first hand even with bottoms even though they weren't own or even knew these people in very cruel ways just because they happen to be there or appeared a certain way.
These jerks like the lady just have no sense of boundaries, manners or they had perverted ideal of how to interact with "slaves"
I am not excusing the behavior but I seen it first hand.
Some make assumptions without knowing anything about the person nor there postion.
Just because I appear some one to someone doesn't make it so.
Lot of punk rockers or alternate type people wear collars but aren't into bdsm too.
Just because you live in certain lifestyle or maybe different then themselves doesn't mean you don't have feelings nor do they deserve being mistreated.
Some people make a lot of very twisted and perverted assumptions, be online or offline.
Personally I think they are disturbed.
There are people who go to chatrooms and probably come even here be it in world or forums to just be mean and nasty because they find it enjoyable and they can do it.
All you can do is ignore people like that at least here there is mute button.

It could just be that this person was acting based on their own assumptions about slaves/masters and, rather than intending offense, she was try to participate on a certain level. On the other hand, she may just be a miserable person.

Sadly, in an online environment people feel, paradoxically, secure enough to voice their insecurities. Thats why flaming becomes part and parcel with online converse these days. Think about al the tough-guys and gangstas you find in chat rooms and on boards "talking the talk" because they know they will never need to "walk the walk". There is no real repercussion for their lousy attitude so they feel able to turn it up another notch. Best advice is to use that very thing against them, they recognise that nobody can retaliate adequately to them so you just need to realise that what they do to you is just as inconsequential as they perceive any reaction to be.

Its just the same as the poster who decided to simply give abuse to the OP, secure and smug at their PC enjoying the level of detachment they have, nothing they said contributed to the topic and yet they still felt they needed to post what amounts to playground taunting.

You could try what I do: If someone turns up the volume on their lousy attitue, respond by being relentlessly polite. It makes their actions seem ludicrous in comparison and gives a giggle to anyone else nearby. "I am sorry that you inferred from my attire that I am a "slut", as you have put it. I myself did not perceive any indication along those lines. Perhaps madam's own background may shed light on our seemingly different opinions?"

LOL Gillian!
Sadly, 'sarcasm' is mostly wasted on bigots .. I think they must have the option disabled in properties .... the one next to 'think'

So are all the furries, vampires, nekos, robots, etc, etc, etc...should they be expected to go human (or child avs adult) before leaving their designated areas, just because someone somewhere might be uncomfortable with their roleplay? Honestly, as long as the chained couple isn't whipping out the hardcore bondage gear and expecting you to join in, what's the big deal?

I said with the chain dragging etc, not just wearing a collar or calling someone some title. So I was talking about active BDSM roleplay in that sense. By using me as a witness to help them feel kinky they're already forcing me to join in. It breaks the idea of consent, and that's supposed to be one of the three Big Rules of that scene. It's not a hard and fast rule of mine, but it's pretty clear to me when a couple are effectively carrying out their sex life in public, and that's when it crosses the line. I don't keep a checklist of things offend me- it's a question of context and behaviour. Don't mistake me for a prude.

On FD's comments, if I understand them correctly, then I'd have to say I agree. By far the most tedious and annoying aspect of the whole "scene" is the apparent assumption that anyone wearing a collar can be talked down to, and anyone who Expects People To Always Capitalize Their Name And Can't Stop Using Capitals In Every Damn Word They Type should be deferred to. Like it's a club you join or something that has two doors "smugs in here, suckers in there". Some people like to immerse themselves into a culture that degrades them for roleplay- so there are things like Gor for that, with rules that say "all slaves must behave a certain way etc" and that's fine, you sign up for that, it's what you want. One of the reasons I never bothered with a fairly popular BDSM club area ( a prickly flower one) was because they had these BS rules that said anyone in a collar has to talk a certain way to anyone not in one, etc.

It's not about tops vs bottoms or dom(me) vs sub. Ultimately, it's about "you" and "me".
That's why, in the case of the OP, who was simply shopping with her "master", it was nobody's business to go assuming they can slag her off because her "wedding ring" happens to be round her neck. It's also near the root of why it bugs me when couples then at the other side, flaunt their kink around in clearly general public areas so they can feel "naughty". So yes, if you want to be pulled round by a chain while drooling round a ball gag with a pony tail shoved up your pooper in Shiny Things then I'll disapprove.

The only time I publicly remonstrated with someone who was doing this, was more because the "master" was such an illiterate, moronic meathead filling local chat with utter drivel that I wanted to say something. I've never wielded a pitchfork in my life. OK, maybe a cute plastic one at halloween that flashed red.

I even met someone in SL who is not into the BDSM lifestyle, but wears a collar as a fashion item. She told me she experienced a lot of griefing beause of her collar. And she did not understand it at all. She knew nothing of BDSM, so I had a lot to explain to her.

Clearly enough, whether someone wears a collar as a fashion item or as a sign of their submission to someone, it should never be a reason for anyone to be rude to them. But it does happen. Not just in SL, but in RL as well.

Im just mad because I can't find a slave! lol j/k

I suppose if a couple (or a group, for that matter) are egregious enough about public sex, it's reasonable enough to heckle them...

When I first came in, some woman asked me how many lovers I had. I said two, but really they were only my friends. She called me a slut too. Oh what the heck she was an escort. I have many escorts as friends now so not judging them. But as you say, this other woman over stepped her bounds in judging me. People that live in glass houses shouldnt throw rocks. )

Everyone deserves respect. It's something that all human beings owe to each other. The person who is a slave in SL is still a human being, and deserves respect.

I disclaim any real knowledge of any aspect of bsdm.

That said, consider the following factors in the offensive person's behavior:

1. A lot of bdsm play blurs the lines between what is consentual, and what is not consentual. Some people in bdsm play want to put themselves in situations where things happen to them without their consent. Though, that means they are consenting to give up the right to consent. See the inherent problem here? Socialization, in the context of bdsm, it by it's nature very tricky to navigate.

2. There are various aspects to bdsm. Among those who practice each aspect, not everyone agrees as to what the rules are supposed to be. And that's just considering people who are experienced with bdsm.

3. In SL, you can expect a lot of people who are inexperienced with bdsm to be trying it. It's complicated enough for someone experienced in bdsm; it's going to be a minefield for someone inexperienced.

4. People inexperienced in bdsm get most of their information from television, movies, and porn.

5. So it's possible that the offensive person actually thought she was interacting with you in the way that you wanted her to interact with you. Since bdsm blurs consent, it may be harder for her to determine whether or not you truly mean it when you say things to get her to stop.

It's also possible that none of these things were a factor in this specific case; maybe the person is just simply a jerk.

You have every right to live outside normal social conventions. There's nothing inherently good about normal social conventions. But if you are trying to live something different- or could be perceived to be- it may be a good thing to take extra steps to inform others of your rules, and be patient as they make honest attempts to adjust to your rules (assuming they do). Your profile is a good place to explain your unique rules (if you haven't already- maybe you did, I haven't looked).

Personally, I find myself unsure of how to speak to someone who identifies himself or herself as a slave. That usually results in me not talking to the person.

Just a comment along these lines....

Last night I was at Hair Fair with a friend watching her select some demos - I was gonna buy her a present. My friend is uber sexy and likes to dress in silks, but is not into any of the slave lifestyles.

Because she was addressing me as 'Miss' and asking me "do you like this one", etc., the woman standing nearby assumed I was her Mistress. She IM'd me to compliment me on my 'slave' and how 'well behaved' she was. I responded that she was my friend and I "don't think i could be a mistress because I'm too much of a softie" obviously ignorant to many aspects of the lifestyle.

Well, we ended up chatting for about 1/2 hour in which she gave me some very good insight into the lifestyle that don't condone or practice humiliation, B&D, or any of the things one may assume goes with that. I was glad she talked to me, because I needed some education - I really enjoyed talking to her.

I guess what I'm saying is like Amity said above, I usually don't chat up a slave cause I always felt akward and not sure of how to do that, even if I just want to say, "hey, where did you get that cute skirt?". But after talking to someone who is active in the lifestyle, I have new insight into that.

That's probably what most folks need - an open mind, and a little education from someone in the know. And that can cover ANY lifestyle choice, RL or SL.

My 2 cents.

Amen to that..... (And "Amen" meant in the original meaning of the word... not any religous infleuences should be considered )

Morwen.