Some people....

i have only been in SL a few months, and i have generally had an enjoyable experience. i stay in Mature areas, and with the exception of getting hit on every so often, no one bothers me as i go about my life. i recently became the sub, and wear a collar and cuffs. Master and i were out shopping for clothing of his liking. He stepped away to look at something while i stayed to look at dresses. Mind you, except for the collar and cuffs, i was dressed modestly. A woman approached me out of the blue and asked me if i was a slave. i said yes. She then asked if if was a slut. i don't consider myself as such so i said no. She then got nasty, calling me all sorts of names and telling me her opinion of girls that becomes subs/slaves. Needless to say, i was shocked at the hatred and bile that she poured out. i don' know who she was, never saw her before, don't know what her problem is, but this was the first incident of intolerance i have encountered. i know people of all walks of life, each with their own motivations, opinions, views, etc are in SL, and that you are occasionally going to run into jerks. Anyway, just wanted to vent. Thanks for listening.

Sorry about the unpleasant experience, Paige! Yes, unfortunately some people like that exist.

Just one suggestion: If you meet someone unpleasant who doesn't leave you in peace, the "Mute" button is your friend!

PS: If Master and you want to have a few minutes of relaxation, you're welcome to visit the dungeon of my castle in Bagat.

mute button! slaps forehead....d'oh! Okay, i knew that, really.... Actually i think i was so shocked by it, it never even occurred to me to mute her. Too bad i couldn't have used my gag on her, lol. Thank you for the offer, i will let Master know.

In 24 years of being a Dom I have learned that most people that act like the lady you encounterd would never have the ability to become what you are and they know it .
So if they can not be something them selfs they just trash those who they are jealous of .

Be proud of who and what you are its not an easy job

Good luck
Dragger

Thank you Sir, i really appreciate that, and i am very proud of who and what i am. You have given me a new thought to dwell upon when/if i encounter this attitude again, but now with a better understanding.

It's not just slaves, I've had some pretty hurtful things said to me as I go about shopping because I'm Neko. People fear what they don't understand, and for osme people fear leads ot hatred waaay to easily.

*sighs*
These kind of stories always make me sad. Is it so hard to except that someone has another lifestyle then your own? For me it is not. I enjoy talking with people that have another lifestyle. I learn from that...

But yes, there is rather some hatred going around in the world .

Morwen.

While it is inevitable that people have other lifestyles, it is also inevitable that freedom of expression will include criticism. For example, I chatted with someone the other day for a while before I read her profile (I consider profile-surfing before saying anything to be a tad creepy, but that's just me). In it she made a reference to "cash piggies" which, on some further chat, turned out to mean Financial Domination fans.

(for those mercifully spared the burden of current trends in perverse behaviour, this refers to women who don't actually DO anything, aside from take money and verbally humiliate those who give it to them, and the men who agree to this idea: a bit like being married without ever having consummated the deal, if you like)

I suggested that, having read about this bit and got some clarification, that this wasn't my thing and furthermore, perhaps she was putting her head in a pretty bad place by playing that way: naturally (I shoulda guessed, really) that was the precursor to a stream of abuse and huff from her, which boiled down to how I had no right to my own opinions, should have just been polite, should have kept quiet about what I thought of that lifestyle, should this, should that... which all rather proved my point about how that particular "lifestyle" messes up the practitioners.

I think a lot of people in SL take roles on without realising the consequences of those roles, or the likely outcome of marching around with them on show.

There is an difference between criticism and rude/hatred behaviour. At least there is for me.

Edit: I don't accuse you of rude behaviour, Gummi. But in the post of the OP it was just plain rude behavior.... not some fundamented criticism.

Morwen.

Hands off Device + Punch/kick Anim > Mute

The best L$ I ever spent..

Now if only someone would offend me..

I stay out of the Dom/sub culture, but I have nothing against them. It's just simply not my cup of tea.

I'm big on if all parties involved agree to it and are adults, then so be it. But, in real life, the whole slave thing would probably bother me, mostly because in RL it's far easier to force someone into it. Fortunately, in SL its a lot harder to force someone to do anything, because if a situation turns bad, one can always disconnect.

I can't understand why some people can't allow others to live in SL as they will. I mean, what makes a person a slave in RL? They aren't allowed to think for themselves or hold opinions for themselves...

well, paige dear; the next time anyone gives you any nonsense like that...

look them dead in the virual eye and say:

"Well, what are you a slave to?"

Shuts them right the heck up.

(Intolerance of all kinds really busts my clock...)

The nature of the medium of communication in SL (that is its written word coupled with its anonymity) allow people to behave in ways that they would not in RL. It loosens the inhibitions. Sometimes this is a good thing with fun and passion ensuing and othertimes it allows people to be rude and hurtful. If you met these hurtful people in RL it would probably never even occur to you (until you got to know them) what saints or dicks they could be. Sometimes you just have to thicken your skin, hit the mute button and keep on smiling.

I am sorry to read you had to put up with that, I have not encountered such an attitude yet, though I am sure it will come... oh well such as life I suppose

Just enjoy doing your thing and don't let small minded people drag you down.

That sounds an awful lot like like "you bring it on yourselves by choosing to be different". I really hope that isn't what you meant.
Also Gummi, with respect, while I agree you didn't deserve the abiuse you got from that lady, it wasn't nice of you to say what you did. A simple "Sorry I'm not into that, good luck with your future" would have sufficed but your futher comments included asumptions and even some judgment that wasn't warranted IMO. Again, it sounds like she over-reacted but I would have been a bit pissed too if you'd said something like that to me.

I'm Neko because I think it's fun. There's nothing particularly fetishistic about it for me, although I know that can be the case for others. I simply like being slightly different, I was human in SL for a while, I bought my Neko skin for an event and liked it so much I kept it. I see people with VERY different Avs and I respect that, if we can't use SL as a means to express ourselves in ways we can't in RL then what's the point? What's interesting is when I'm out shopping or at some clubs I get comments from non-Nekos who telling me that I'm perverted, and because I dress my Neko in human style clothes I have even had comments from some Nekos telling me that if I can't do it properly I shouldn't do it at all.
My Av looks DAMN good IMO .. and in the opinion of many others as I've also had far more positive comments about my AVs appearence than negative ones, but I don't understand why people who come into this beautiful metaverse where just about anything is possible would choose to be so judgemental.

welcome to life and people

chances are this woman was having a bad day + insecurities and unfortunately decided to lash out at you with them. don't take it personally though as she was a stranger, just blow off the experience and move on.

Speaking of annoying people, a neighbour of mine had her neighbours fences cross into her parcel, so she asked her (in a very nice polite way I might add) if she could please move them a bit so they didn't cross her parcel border.

A reasonable request I think and the other lady did indeed move them back. Except now she's put my neighbour and friend on her ban list, so she has to put up with those horrible green ban text lines that go up to height infinity

Ah well

Gawd, what an idiot! I think of SL as a place to express myself and play. A fantasy world of my own making. I'm not into the whole BDSM thing, but love the clothes! It's truly sad that people carry the dogmatic fears from their RL into the wonderful world of SL. Maybe this person who was so rude to you should turn off her computer and move to Dallas. Home of GWB and Lakewood Church. I'm sure she could find quite a few like minded prudes with which to express her disgust in sluts and fornicators and such. Again, what an idiot! Don't let her get you down (that's master's job! lol)

Sounds like the woman who berated the OP was a lil sexually hung up. Considering the "Are you a slut?" question

Since one thing D/S is about is sexuality, many zero in on that and consider those involved in it perverts.

The woman launching into insults says a lot more about her own issues than anything about the Original Poster. Second Life with its pretty frank and free expressions of sexuality probably isnt the best place for her.

Yet -
Maybe once were more disney'd up, shell be less uptight.

Say huh? I've never seen a Neko who didn't wear human clothes, myself included. Nekos may have kitty ears, eyes, tails, and (in some cases) skin, but our features and shapes are human...what are we supposed to wear? Feline furries can maybe go without clothes, depending on how their skins are designed, but Nekos are meant to be a little more 'human.'

Anyway, I don't get the BDSM thing...I'll even admit that the idea of it squicks me out a little on a personal level...but I find the whole, "Anyone who is not like me is perverse/wrong/lesser" attitude even more confusing. The point of life is to make the choices that work best for you, not to run around judging others for the choices they make. And even if you find yourself wondering how or why a person came to a decision about themselves that you would never ever choose for yourself, there's no reason to be rude or abusive about it...I mean, whatever happened to live and let live?

Sorry for yer experience, Misses Nurmi. Sadly, jes like first life, people their prejeduces into our world, too. Like others on dis thread, I too hafta deal with people bein jerks to me, an assuming all sorta of ick nasty stuff 'cuz I'mma kid in-world. Here's what I tink works best:

1. Mute them; Not applicable in dis case, but ff it is your land, eject and ban. Frankly, they jes ain't worth your time.

2. Stand up against them an their opinions or, alternately have your Master do dat for ya. I dun normally hafta go dis far, but there have been times. People is usually very susprised when I ain't shamed by their tongue flapping at me, an instead tell em how much I 'ppreciate their words -- an I kinda feel *really* sorry for anyone who hasta deal with my folks instead of jes me.

3. Know dat they're the ones with the problem, not you. They might be jealous or someting, I dunno, but for them to feel the need to lash out tells me dat there's more goin on than they might wanna admit. Kinda like all those ministers and politicans who yell about homosexuality, an then get busted an shown to be biiig hypocrites. Maybe if dat woman were to deal more directly with her hang-ups, 'stead of tryin to somehow "banish" someting she is 'fraid of or 'tracted to, she'd no be so hung up.

Mari

I'm sorry for your experience paige. I really like how different people are here on the whole. I do have a question of SL etiquette about talking to slaves. I am a friendly shopper and like to chat with people while shopping. Sometimes I will run across a collared person and I don't know if I'm allowed to speak with them without their master's permission. Sometimes I will say hi but I usually don't get a response back. It sounded like you were quite friendly with this person at first. So does that mean that we won't get a slave in trouble with her/his master if we speak with them?

It is not my choice for a lifestyle but I want to respect whatever the guidelines are.

Also, I didn't know the cat people were called Nekos. Neat Avs and neat name.

You do not have to follow any special guidelines when addressing a slave. Their play of dominance and submission is something between them and their Master. So treat them like you would anyone else.

Thanks White. That's cool. I love chatting with all sorts of people but I didn't want to be responsible for getting someone in trouble.

OMG, not more bdsm/gorean/D&S whiners on the forums trawling for tea and sympathy. Grow up, you bunch of pampered bourgeois babies! Learn to use your mute button and quit crying when you don't get enough love / respect / tolerance or whatever else it is you want. Enjoy your kinks and don't act so surprised when you run into others who don't understand your pet perversion.

not understanding is one thing and then being rude is something else


would you like be degraded becauise your not the same