why i did it

Well, there is no easy way to explain and surely no justification for why i faked my untimely demise but I will try to give you guys an insight on the reasoning behind it.

I know alot of you like sensual, siggy and moopf no matter what i will say it will never be right, i guess not, now is your time to turn against me and run with my flaws because you have people agreeing with you, and rightly so.

On November 3rd I went to linden lab in San Fran, was a great experiance was cool to see how they work things and i was suprised to see as many behind the scenes workers as i did, Ben Linden was my tour guide and a damn good one he brought me around desk by desk section by section and introduced me to everyone.

Now this is where the problem started, we get to a desk where a man that clearly could break me into two and pick the meat off my ones with little to no energy at all, ben said "I will let him introduce himself" the man extended his hand and said "hi im jeska" so i laughed and said, yea i knew payback would be a bitch and i knew i would get catch back but this?? and they just looked at me so i looked around and noticed everyone in that area was stareing at me, so me and ben went on to our next group.

Now i can take a joke better than most, i thought it was hilarious at that point and was cool that they have a sense of humor.

So after we looked all around (including the kitchen lol) we were standing in the corridor discussing things within secondlife and after a few minutes i see this female walk in and see me then quickly duck into a office, now the thing is the offices in LL are all glass, and we were standing right outside the office she ducked in, so ben looked at me like uh oh and i said hmm there goes jeska, he was like yea that was michael linden that was playing jeska earlier i said yea and i explained that i have seen the state of play pics and that her pic was in her profile and that i knew who she was. So we stand there talking for a good 15 more minutes and she stays hideing in the office.

At this point im thinking wait maybe that wasnt a joke maybe she really is scared of me (remember that movie i made?) so i mark it off as her being scared, i feel bad that she felt that way and wondered why she took that movie so seriously, anyway back on with my story.

So after that we look around some more and i leave, when i get back home i was laughing to myself about the joke they played and thought it was funny and start plotting ways to play a joke back on them, after being logged into sl for a little while i get a few ims people making jokes about me etc making fun of me the works. So im like wtf so i do a little more research..seems as though LL sent out an email to their whole employee distro list basically making fun of me/bashing me. Now i thought it was a good joke and i appreciate good jokes but after being made fun of by a few of the lindens and seeing that an email about me had been shot out was out there i realized.. they werent joking with me.. they were making a joke at my expense.

I decided right then i would no longer contribute to LL, wheather it be content, money,anything.
It raised a question in my mind, what do you do when harassed by lindens? Do you file abuse? Do you say nothing and hope for the best? Nah none of those, you just quit.. gather what you can and move on.

So as my final farewell i figured, why not give LL a little homework and expose my true friends?

Which later on i realized was flawed thinking, i should know who my friends are..most have stuck with me through all of my b.s for a year or more. And my enemys about the same amount of time. I guess i just wanted to cause problems, if they were going to force me to quit because i dont want to put up with their jokes and b.s i figured why not cause problems on my way out?

I know this is no way justification for what i did, and i know that i can never take back what i have done and really deep down i know that by explaining myself a little better and putting myself out there this thread is just going to turn into a flame fest, a few of you are going to keep posting over and over just like you did in the other thread, and those of you, i really dont care about you. This thread was directed to my friends that i have hurt.

In short: I apologize for my friends that i hurt. I am slowly pulling all my assets out of SL, changing permissions on things and such. My land has already been sold etc. I have sold all the rights to my stores and my merch. Full perm, they can do with it what they wish at this point. Thanks for those of you that have stuck with me this long and i hope we meet again.


Ok go ahead sensual and crew you can flame now.

So wait.

You faked your own RL cause death because you were creeping one of the Lindens out?

The logic astounds.

LF

odviously you didnt read it

I was quitting because of the lindens and i figured why not go out with a bang, was my departing sorrow, the plan was i was just to fade away into a distant memory.

Do you have a copy of that email or something?
(I have to wonder WTF you did to Jeska that she became so afraid of you)

Maybe, and i dont want to cause any more problems, i collected my things and now im done.
I explained my resoning behind it and i know some people will say that im a nut and they are entitled to their opinion, i just dont want anything to do with this anymore. only reason i have to log in world is because i have to set permissions on a ton of items, after im done with that im gone :\

edited to add: the reason she is afraid of me is that movie i made... go to www.billy-madison.com and look for the jeska movie.

I feel the same way Willow said she did, I've defended you many a time Billy, and I really thought what you had planned with your sims sounded great.. And it just feels like its been thrown in my face.. I really thought you were better than that..

You know how I feel billy, we talked in world about it.

It just really wasn't worth doing it was it

I know this zap, thats why i felt obligated to explain a little more into it because there are alot of people like you, my email box has been full with why leave dont leave etc. I really appreciate you standing behind me. and i apologize.

Private discussions – the forums are a public area for the Second Life community’s use. Individuals who have a dispute with each other have other channels of communication to discuss their differences or communicate – private messaging, IM within Second Life, or chatting within Second Life. Also, threads that are addressed to a single individual or group are inappropriate on the forums, this includes slander or "naming names" in a posts title, starting polls about a particular resident or group, etc.

Please take your heartfelt apologies to your specific friends to PM, IM, etc.

If you could go back, would you do it again?

Well.. cya I guess.. Try not to cause so much trouble wherever you end up huh?

Hey billy

I've been gone for the past four days, so I missed all of the drahma. People do stupid things all the time. Although this was a really messed up thing to do, I believe that you feel really sorry about it and it shows in your post and your actions. I hope that you will stick around cause this too will blow over like every thing else does eventually in sl. Keep in touch

MJ

If I were Jeska, I'd be super creeped out by you long before the movie, chief.

Can't really blame anyone but yourself for what happened. Be glad they even let you in the door.

It's a hard lesson to learn and one that shouldn't be wasted. Take a break but realize that there's more to the lesson. The full spiel usually goes something like this: swallow your pride, admit your mistakes and then continue on in spite of everything - but this time a bit wiser; more forgiving of yourself and others. When you have the last one licked, I look forward to seeing you in SL.

Nah i wouldnt, and i dont want to sound like i have a huge ego when i say this but.. i have a bigger amount of supporters in world than i would have imagined and i feel like i have let them down. hurt too many people for personal gain.

Thank you billy for your explaination.

Know what? You have pissed people off, and acted very poorly, but I fail to see how you have harmed anyone except yourself - and you seem to be taking responsibility for that.

Stay in SL, or leave - I sincerely wish you the best...

Just go, already!

I think it's safe to say that after all of this, the majority here think you're an ass and that your posts are an utter waste of bandwidth.

P2

Thats good to hear.. Live and learn hey? Do what you gotta do.. But be happy..

Haha Billy, I thought you'd left?

You wonder why some of the Lindens are creeped out by you, staring at you and plain confused by you? Yesterday's a pretty good example why. And you're quitting because you think they're harassing you? (I might be misunderstanding here, your post is pretty incoherent and rambling in many places).

I look forward to this thread being closed and/or deleted.

And you know what, I doubt this email you accuse them of even exists. Or, if it does exists, has the connotations you have given it.

Your reasoning is so frequently flawed on so many levels that I'm not even sure whether you actually know whether what you're writing is true or not.

Just be gone if you're going. Please. Leave. Now.

Thanks for your opinion, but sadly to me your opinion really doesnt hold much weight. You have not been around long enough to see the good that i have done, nor have you been around long enough to see the bad iv done. therefore you are basing your opinion on a sole incident.

Billy? Huge ego? You'd have to be pretty stupid to think that.

You've caught me on a bad day. I'd be crying at your sorrow, but my tear ducts appear to have silted up. Of all the luck.

Never fucked up have ya? Never needed forgiveness?

MJ

Nice and contrite, love it. I've seen all the good (don't actually remember a huge amount, but there you go) and I've seen plenty of bad. So I've formed my opinion on your whole body of work. There, that better?

Thanks for you input moopf, now all i need is the rest of the group to keep posting in here like the thread yesterday. It makes it quite evident of your intentions when you sit on the forums for hours at a time refreshing one thread and commenting on every post. Thanks again.

In the interests of fairness, I should point out, as Billy is using it to deflect Phoenix's post as being unknowledgeable, that you've been here even less time and, as such, must have even less of a handle on the situation and so I trust your view will be equally discounted by Mr Madison. Ain't that true Billy?

Considering that mj hathor is mrsjackle sauvage or howver you spell it.

Moopf go elsewhere, next all we need is siggy sensual and login and we will have the full flame crew.