Serious question about LIFE.. maybe TO serious BUT I am curios to know more..

The mix between Metaverse and IRL... studies?

No ”play” - serious. as....

And YES OF COURSE IF someone want to discuss this open here - you are welcome.. I am still not ready to do that myself.. later.. or soon I cant tell. Sorry for that sorry

Is there any ”study” out in the world (RL he he) about the ”affects” that can hit us all - hits me all the time - the mix between IRL and Metaverse (SL)..

Yes it includes strong feelings to other avas (humans behind or what you want to name it).. and of course the word that i dont see so often in SL.. yes its named sex...

After years in ”cyber” mails, ICQ ... Internet.. name them all... I know it ”exsists”. YES I have feelings - I am human..

The 3D ”ads” a new dimension in the ”hit with feelings of diff kinds”.... so I want to read more know more... learn more..

ANY???.....

Pet/Tina


PS yes I am fine))


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pls i BEG dont destroy this thread with funny remarks.. if you have ”such ideeas” start an own thread pls..

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haha funny u should mention this, i just had the saddest moment in my life i was just telling someone else about it... i was considering turning a girl down tonight so i could play SL! how lame am i getting

Not lame Jambo, just addicted as most of us are

Alexa

Hmm.. this is a tough cookie of a tread, I have typed out what I mean to say about 5 times only to read it back and decide I cant say it publicly...
I just felt I needed to type something after sitting here with the window open so long..

Summarize: strong feelings: yes

There are many studies that have been done on this topic. Here are just a couple I was able to find quickly. Though there are many more!


UNTANGLING THE SOCIAL IMPACT OF THE INTERNET: A LARGE-SCALE SURVEY
http://www.anderson.ucla.edu/documents/areas/fac/isrp/wp-1-02.pdf

The Effect of Instant Messaging on the Social Lives of Students Within a College Dorm
http://www.stanford.edu/class/pwr3-25/group2/pdfs/IM_Social.pdf

A Q Study of How Internet Usage Impacts Interpersonal Relationships
http://www.qmethod.org/Proceedings/2004/Kim_Kim_Kim_on_Internet_usage.pdf

UF STUDY: ONLINE DATING VIRTUALLY IRRESISTIBLE TO SOME MARRIED FOLKS
http://www.napa.ufl.edu/2003news/internetinfidelity.htm

THE INTERNET AND CRITICAL ISSUES FOR FAMILIES
http://www.natefacs.org/JFCSE/v21no1/v21no1Rehm.pdf

Yeap...

My feelings in RL are those that I have in SL.. and vice versa..

I think its hard NOT to have some feeling transfer, I mean I can have a relationship on SL and not carry it over to RL, but the feelings are all me, the REAL me.

If thats what you mean?

Thanks for those links Pendari.

Pendari, good links!

This one especially struck me as insightful:

Emphasis added, because I think the disconnection of remote typing -- the same thing which provides anonymity -- also leads us to project our fantasies onto other people. Someone who we envision as being nearly perfect for us may well turn out to be quirky and troubled in RL because they never bothered to show us that side of themselves online.

That said, it could also be true that if people were as open and forthright in RL as they are online, we just might find that we have more in common with more people than we think we do.

I agree with you Cindy

Theres a lot of blanks filled in with Projections.

Peopel decide their partner is who they want them to be subconciously.

Its the big lure , and the big trap of Internet rommance.

As to Jambo'c comment about turning down a RL date for time on SL -

a man i dated more than a year ago did that to me , turned down chances with a girl he met RL that he admited he liked, so he could spend time twith me.

I did the only thing i felt I could do in the circumstances.

I dumped him.

You realize you're truly addicted when things like meals, sleep and bathing all seem optional. That's when I kick myself.

-Flip

If I were Jenn I would be preemptively kicking you so you never go down THAT road. EW!

Thanks for the infos, Pendari. Very interesting information indeed. What my Love was trying to - and some of it was maybe lost to some because of her cute swedish accent - was simply to gather as much information and opinion about the issue as possible. It is relevant to her (and me) in a very special way. Because we met here in SL half a year ago, liked each other immediately and finally became a pair last week.

And even though we agreed to keep it strictly inworld for now, some very intense feeling are involved in this relationship; not that much different (if at all) from an RL love. Because it is "real"

Of course we may be idealizing (I am sure we do), like you wrote in your reply. On the other hand, I am still fascinated by how this is possible with such a limited communication channel.

Of course there have allways been relationships that started or grew via letters or telephone conversations. But the intensity of the experience in such a virtual environment like SL is something new. I would like to question if we are not witnessing the development of a new aspect of human relationships that might become rather important in the coming years. Not as a substitute for RL love but ...

I have made lots of online friendships/ relationships. I'm an emotional person. I'm cautious online, because we have all heard the horror stories and...It just makes sense to be as careful OL as in RL. It just translates a bit differently. Feelings are valid online or rl. My best friend, who I met irl, after meeting online, lives a few thousand miles from me. We hate each other, love each other, have fights, but always, always there for each other. Getting to know people online affords us the ability to look inside and see the real person first to a large extent. For me, meeting most of the people irl that I have met online is just a formality. I already know them by heart. I have a "son" that calls me MAH and thinks I rock, listens to death metal with me, says my daughter is HAWT and kicks my butt when I don't take care of me. LOL

I can't imagine my life w/o the very special people I meet, have met online.

I think it depends on the individual and how much of themselves they put into their AV. I recognize that there are peeps who play on a very superficial level and have no real meaningful relationships and that’s certainly ok.

Speaking for myself and my own experiences SL is just as real as RL because Billy is me and I am Billy. I put myself into my AV… all of me and don’t hold back my emotions. For me, the relationships I have here are just as real as any I have IRL. It matters little that the contact is in the virtual world. I love the peeps in my SL life every bit as I do the peeps in my RL.



This is an interesting question. I believe that your contention that the communication is “limited” is the basic problem with your and maybe others understanding. In lots and lots of ways the communication in SL is much more deep and intellectual than RL. Let’s take a first date for example.

IRL I might take a date to dinner n a movie. We all know that those first encounters are at a minimum awkward. Conversation over dinner will often be somewhat superficial and limited due to the first date jitters. Then off to a movie where there is no talking at all. The first date experience can be more along the lines of discovering if there is a sexual chemistry between the two of you (not acted out of course, just that attraction) and the communication being somewhat superficial and limited. Now having said that, I have been on dates where there is lots of talking n fun but at that point in the relationship there is just so much of that and before you know it the date is over.

Then there is the whole looks thingy that can get in the way. She has too big a butt… he has too long a nose etc… Often IRL a second date has more with how the other looks than substance between the ears.

Now contrast that with an SL first date or first time you may meet n talk to someone. Communication is all written and let’s face it, almost everyone is really good looking in SL. Everyone has a killer butt and nobody has too long a nose. As a result all of the superficial crap is stripped away and all that’s left is you and your words. I have sat on a first encounter and talked continuously for 5-6 hours. When you compare this to the communication on a typical first date I’d say that there is prolly 4-5 times the actual communication than on any first date IRL. The result is that you know waaaay more about someone after an SL first date than you do on a RL first date.

I don’t know why but I have also found myself more willing to talk about deep n personal things in SL where IRL I may hold back until I get to know the person better. I can’t really explain that but it is true for me. The result is that I open myself up in a more personal way than IRL where I may be a lil more reserved until I get to know someone better.

When you add it all up, yes there is no “actual touching” in SL but the superficiality that exists in RL is also stripped away. If I like someone it is because I am attracted to their brain, not their butt and what I share with them is on a bunch of levels deeper than RL. Anyhoo… that’s my opinion for what it’s worth.

I either feed him or remind him to eat. Showering.... well its either that or he gets a good Febreezing. I do have a can on my desk So I could actually spray him down without having to get up myself.

For me, I find things like cleaning and going to my actual job to be unpleasant divergences from what I want to be doing.

Billy Grace: ”almost everyone is really good looking in SL” - I am (in SL) for some reason a bit.. cross-eyed not much but some.. ))


Oh sweet of al of - links - great - personal great.. I write it out and read it all once more. and of course wait for more personal ”storys”..


Dei: ”I would like to question if we are not witnessing the development of a new aspect of human relationships that might become rather important in the coming years. Not as a substitute for RL love but ...”

Around the corner are something boiling... maybe already in SL.. all dont dare -->> all dont dare to ”confess”... but something are boiling... Dont we most that have been in SL a while aware of ”pixelsex” - Äh we cant miss that... in some cases - yes better in some o no. sorry not.. BUT I am NOT in SL for pixelsex.. I have a life (second or first?) in SL.. NO its not a sad life - its the opposite..

But dont we develop something new - add something to our lives - that dident exist before..?

AND what do a ”3D life” ad to that or take away?...

Then I of course blush some of both the ”Swedish accent” and the ”official announcement” of our engagement... Are forum PG or Adult? Do I dare to write Blow a Kiss?)

Whow, Billy! That was really well said...

I loved the "first date" example. Funny, yes, Actually the fact, that we design our bodies (AVs) in SL takes away lots of hurdles in communication. Never thought about that. But its true.

On the other hand - and even though I am much to much brain focused myself - I would not rule out the importance of touch and smell, or put that second rank. We ARE physical beings after all. What I sorely miss, too, are better ways to handle small gestures and facial expression. SL is very limited in this regard now

So, the communication IS limited, but the limitations even have some advantages.Yes! Emphatically yes! Even though it saddens me sometimes that it does not seem possible to transfer this openness to RL easily. But - when I watch myself after half a year in SL, I guess that I have learned something about interpersonal communication and I am at least a little bit more open and much more sympathetic to "non-standard" lifestyles in RL now Yes, and that is why I expect platforms like SL to be very important for future relationships. Which is espeacially "funny" when you consider the "common wisdom" that computers and digital communications lead to isolation and more distance between people. If I told the people around me (in RL) what I found in SL ... most of them would regard me with pity or would advise me to look up a shrink

But that *is* good looking I am a bit prejudiced of course .YES! And it is not better, or worse than what already exists in RL but different, new.Sorry, Dear. I did not mean it degrading or patronizing. I *love* that accent. :blows a kiss:

I'll betcha could bounce a quarter off yer ass though... hehe

The brain is a very powerful thing. No, I can't "actually" smell or touch someone physically but sometimes I can click so well with someone that it is literally like joining minds with that person and I dont think I have "really" ever done that IRL.

In lots of ways SL is more intimate than RL, yes with limitations of course, but more deep and more personal. There is less of you to hide when you "have" to communicate so much.

I've found SL to be an incredible platform for meeting people. I have some wonderful friends in SL I sincerely hope to meet some day. We've helped each other through hardships and enjoyed each other's successes together as well. My closest friends have translated to RL friendships. So far, they have been constrained to telephone conversations, but nonetheless they are true friends.

My closest friend by far in game goes by Alexin Bismark. He is my RL and SL partner. We met in game in May 2004 and enjoyed an intense merging of two people. We met RL in November 2004 and meet at least twice a month as we live in different cities but only for now. We just recently rented a home together and I'll be moving in with him before the end of the year.

I never could have gone to another city to meet him, if I hadn't had such a long term intensive online and phone relationship with him. (Okay, six months may not seem long but it is when you spend 4-8 hours every day or night together for six months.) He also made sure I had all his personal information and complete access to his "on line life". I left word with friends where I was going one weekend and met Alexin. He was and is the person I first met in SL.

Honestly, when I first met him there was so much reality I had to simply hug him and keep my eyes closed. Just listening to his voice and feeling him was all I could manage. I needed to get used to that before I could keep my eyes open and add visuals. *chuckles*

Now that I've told you all far more than you likely wanted to hear, I'll get back to the original reason for this thread. When two people are themselves on line and don't dam up who they really are as we often do in RL, then they can truly get to know each other on a level that few ever achieve by dating in person. They can find if they are compatible on so many levels so quickly and easily. I know Alexin better than I've ever known anyone before and I dare say he would say the same about me.

angel

Awww Angel... I'm happy fer ya!!! Hugz

I just thought I would throw in my 2 cents in with the rest of you.

I have only been at sl for a month or so but I have spent a good 10 or more years online in one form or another so I feel I can safely add my views to the topic at hand.

It was mentioned that some feel that it is easer to have an increased amount of self disclosure via sl then in real life. I agree with this, simply for the fact that you are chatting with someone who could be half a country away from you. The person you are talking to at the time has nothing to do with your life besides the game. If none of your friends or family or co wokers play the game, then there almost zero possability the person you are chatting with will ever come into contact with the people you are discussing. This is a huge saftey net, and it allows people to open up a lot easier then in face to face communication.

I have also heard the arguments that communication online has more depth, is more "pure" so to speak because the only thing representing yourself is your ability to write and the ideas floating around in your head.

On some levels I agree with this, but on others, I disagree. There is a lot more to a strong relationship then what you can achieve while chatting online. When you are in person, things like body language and tone of voice can be screaming something to you without the person having spoken a word. To some extent you can mymic body language in secondlife in terms of promimity and animation, but it is very limited, and also very deliberate. Sometimes the most reveiling body language is that which is unintended.

I do truely believe that "experienced chatters" have the ability to read and understand peoples chatting on a deeper level then someone who has just gotten online. You can tell a lot by the speed at which a reply is typed, how gramatically correct or incorrect it is, if the line seemes rushed or not. The type of laugh the person does (hehe one day, or HAHAHAH rapidly after the joke,) and a host of other things. But it still does not capture a face to face meeting.

So I present what I beleive the communication medium is at the current, one of the best ice breakers ever. SL is interesting because there are underlying activities in the game to do besides meeting people, as well as the ability to present yourself very quickly. Sometimes it is almost as though when stepping onto someones property you are looking into their minds eye, how they visulize themselves, or wish to visulize themselves. Other times you can tell the person is simply having fun. But you can take in the house style, avatar clothing style, streaming audio, everything, and get some sort of crucial insight into the person. More so then you might gain by watching a person walk down the street.

Secondlife also has a unusually large amount of women who play it as compared to most online games you might play. This could also just be an increasing trend in gaming as computers become more and more popular.

These two things make secondlife a great place to meet people. You obviously already share a common intrest by playing secondlife (it is a relativly obscure game compared to some others), and can even further find another common intrest via the activites your persue in world.

Once the icebreaking has happened, all that is left is to move to the next level. The computer will never be the be all end all of relationships until we all have unlimited bandwith, incredible vr goggles, and full body suits. The net can never carry a romatic relationship by itself, it has to be moved to the phone, and to face to face meetings if it wants to continue to grow.

As for regular old friendships though, those can easily exist within the confinds of the computer without expanding. I'm 25 now, when I was 16 I met a 19 year old woman who happened to be the girlfriend of the guy I was playing warcraft 2 with. It started with a few emails back and forth, and ended up with her being my longest term friend online or offline. We still talk back and forth online. I had known her about 6 year before I ever heard her voice on the phone or met her in person, and it was only one time.

It was a wierd experience. Her voice was like nothing I pictured. Then when we met in person it was wierd and awkward for a little bit. Then we started talking. And it was so wierd for this complete stranger and I to know all the intimate details of our lives over the past six years and to be talking like we were old friends. Wierd and awesome. By the end of the night all wierdness was gone and we were chatting in person like old friends. I will say though that the real life expereince was definatly much different then online. They both had their plusses.

So, I'll conclude by saying the net is a fantastic ice breaker. It can be a platform to maintain and create new friendships. It can be a vehicle to start a romantic relationship, but will never serve to replace an inplace physical one.

The people you meet online are no different that those you meet in real life. Some are genuine, some are fake, some are floating inbetween. You'll just have to use your best judgment to figure out which they are.

Hamaar

ALL - wow - TKS!


But dont stop)))

Ok, this is a bit off the wall, and serious at the same time:

...

Have you ever read a description of what might happen if there were a basefall sized leak in one of the habitat spaces on a spacecraft and your head was near by? The pressure differential would be so great your skull would slam against the opening. At that spot your flesh would bulge through the hull until it started freezing, then crack open and spray your brains across the vacuum. Your mind would expand across the universe, while your body was left behind as an empty rubbery sack, not quite squeezing through when it got jammed on one of the bigger bones.

So yeah, it feels a little like that.