I just saw the worst movie I have seen in years!

I just finished watching the movie Crash. (not the David Cronenberg movie, the one starring Don Cheadle)

Who in their right mind gave this movie a decent review?

I would rather be locked in a closet and forced to watch a Bio-Dome marathon for 6 weeks than watch Crash ever again.

Why do critic decide that if you cram as much sad, crappy shit into one movie, the better that movie is?

If you haven't seen it, you've been warned. It is two hours of your life you will never get back.

Yeah right, Solaris is SO boring!! During the movie, more than 3/4 of the people in the theater left half way through.

Thanks for letting me know about Crash, I almost put it in my Netflix list but was having doubts.

And Nimrod, I totally agree with you about Solaris... it stunk

Leilany

I dunno, I heard from people I trust that it was really great.

So have I, from people who I trust. If you're going to post about hating a film, at least give some reasons why.

I thought I did post why.

Basically it is a film that tries to cram as much shocking, sad, depressing and startling scenarios into it as posssible. It changes from one bad scenario to another about every 5 minutes.

Most of it is so predictable it makes you want to poke your eyes out with a toothpick. Like the scene where the "black guy" is having sex with the "latino woman". They have a conversation. Any idea what he says that is racially profoud? Yes, he calls her Mexican. Naturally she is not Mexican so we get to hear her say they before we go to the next scene.

At one point, two people run over someone and almost kill him. Is it integral to the plot? Not really. It just makes everything more shocking.

There is a 3 minute scene where an asian woman is running through a hospital shouting something that sounds like it is perhaps Chinese. When a nurse asks her if she speaks english, she berates the nurse and explains that of course she speaks english and what she is saying is the proper name of her husand who is in the hospital.

It continues like this for what seems an eternity. It is one not-so-shocking racial cliche after another.

This movie could have been written by a 10 year old.

I haven't seen it, but it would have to be pretty damn bad to be worse than AI.

Watch Slacker!

It will give you a renewed and vastly multiplied hatred for filmmakers.

Yeah, I was quite un-impressed. Crash has that disjointed, Tarrantino style, but the vignettes never let you really grow to love -- or hate -- any of the primary characters. Further, it was just so damned hedonistic. (The FIC should file an anti-defamation suit.) And the worst part? Sandra Bullock was only on screen for about 15 minutes, but she had STAR BILLING!! WTF is up with that?

The movie that prolly let me down the most so far would be:

Final Fantasy: Spirits Within

Heck, it wasn't even a Final Fantasy movie! Besides a generic plot that could have been grafted onto any other storyline like a grater to cheese. Geez. What else sucked? Characters I couldn't identify with, lack of cool battle scenes, stilted animation that looked decent as still paintings but moved sooo mechanically like freaky robot-things. O, the music was awful and not done by Nobuo Uematsu... and as for the spirits? It had NO spirit! So cross it out and call it...

Spirits Without



I was so ashamed 'cuz I dragged my bro to this on his bday, and it was SUCH a disappointment. It was okeydoke tho 'cuz we made up for it watching Scary Movie 2 afterwards.

It was ok. A bit formula and a bit over dramatic. It had some great moments, but many that have been done time and time again. It certainly wasn't the worst movie I've seen in years, or months, or weeks, or even days. There are sooo many truly bad movies out there that make this one look like a masterpiece.

Well..I was never a final fantasy fan, so I guess that might help explain why I really enjoyed this movie. It was the best computer generated-realism job that I've seen in a movie thus far, and the plot, while a bit hokey, was enough to carry me along. I really enjoyed it.

Another one that I enjoyed, that combines realistic computer graphcs with living and breathing actors is called "Immortal". The animation isn't as good as Final Fantasy, but still very interesting with some great scenery and a good futuristic feel.

I haven't heard of Immortal but now am curious!

My primary concern with Final Fantasy: Spirits Within was that it really wasn't a FF film at all... so why the tag? It was a betrayal to fans. The storyline, in the worst of ways, having been familiarized with FF plots, was like taking a great classical masterpiece and lopping out semirandom pieces here and there. If I wasn't familiar with the original "texts", I might not have known what was missing, but it's one of those horrors of editing upon gazing on the full body of work. Just in my opinion of course.

I'm not even big into FF the games, but I could definitely see why so many who came from that background objected. Okeydoke, I can't resist another simile: it's like making an adaptation of the life of Jesus starring the son of God as a three-headed baloney whale (with a slice of gravy).

I wanna know what you think of Final Fantasy: Advent Children, tho, if you get a chance to watch it. One downside is it does require a certain background to get all the inside references, but I'll leave that up to you to decide.

Weird that you would mention it. I just finished watching Immortal an hour ago. Man, did the CG people suck. I think it's the biggest gap between awesome CG environments/machines and crappy CG people I've seen in a recent movie. It's like they took them right out of poser and decided not to do any texture maps. It would have been way cooler if they used people with make-up and saved the CG for only the environments and the shark things.

i didn't think the movie was that bad. It was about the lives of everyday people and how they can effect each other and be joined and how one person can make the difference if someone lives or not or where they end up.

Ok gonna go out on a limb here but I LIKED AI *sniff*

AI was easily one of the most depressing things ever committed to film. It was almost as depressing as an old tv movie produced in the UK called Threads.

OK depressing it was...in spades

But to me...and I'll try not to be too 'deep'. LOL It was a commentary on our society and how we make or buy or 'get' what we want to fill our needs and then how we quickly discard 'said item' after we have no use for it anymore. This movie just took it to another level.

Plus I am a sci-fi and fantasy geek anyway.

Movies are a matter of taste. I liked Solaris, a lot. AI was wonderful up until the ending but you know, death has a way of interfering with a director's vision. FF was ok, nothing to write home about, anime with CGI; woop.

You want to talk about utterly bad movies, you need to mention "Signs" with Mel Gibson. But wait, there's more. You can't leave out Kevin Cosner's "Waterworld" or his even worse "The Postman" which should have been named "Dirtworld" where he butcherd one of my most beloved stories by David Brin.

Oh come on now. It is completely believable that aliens, who are deathly allergic to water, would prepare for a ground invasion of a planet covered in water and then try to kill the people of that planet who are made up of 90% water. (or some insane percentage)

My biggest problem with AI is that it seemed to me like they couldn't decide on an ending, so they just used ALL of them. I don't want to spoil it for anyone who hasn't seen it (I hate spoilers) but the last 3 segments or so were completely uneeded. I can't really explain further without giving something away, so I'll just say, it should have ended at the bottom of the ocean.

Those extra endings just made the whole thing more saccharinely sweet than it already was.

Jude Law made a great android though, I will give it that much.

I pretty much throw any movie with Kevin Costner into the 'worst movies' bin, just on prejudice. He is the blandest actor this side of Keanu Reeves. (I will note the exception of The Untouchables, which I loved, but that was despite Costner, and not because of him.)

(Independance Day spoiler follows!!!)

Okay, how about Independance Day for unbelievable Alien plots? Thank god the aliens used virus susceptable DOS. If they had used Linux we'd be screwed!

Actually, the aliens in Independence Day used Apple-compatible systems. Many have decried this as being utterly ridiculous, but I've got to disagree. Come on! We all know one or two Mac fanatics who are definitely pretty alien...

You're right! My mistake there.

I still think aliens, being intellectually superior enough to have not only found intelligent life on another planet, but had the technology to travel there, would use Linux though.