Bad Pick up Lines Thread

Yup here it goes the bad pick up lines thread. Post em, share em, use your firends as examples. I'll use the one I used earleir to start.



Aimee...if you were a bag of chips and I was a battery.

I'd Everready and you'd be Frito-lay.

Is that Windex on your pants...cuz I can see myself in em.

So, you're a girl huh?

Sorry, have you just farted? cos you have blown me away.

Do you want to see something swell?

Your daddy must have been a baker, cause you've got a nice set of buns.

Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package

If a rooster lays an egg on the peak of a barn's roof, which way will it roll off?

Wanna see my cock?

Pick-upper: Will you marry me?
Pick-upped: No
Pick-upper: Then how about just a date?


Pick-upper: Can I buy you a drink?
Pick-upped: No, I have a boyfriend
Pick-upper: I didn’t ask you to marry me, I just asked for a drink will you deny me for that?

I might not be the best looking guy/girl here, but i'm the only one talking to you.

I'm new in town. Could you give me directions to your apartment?

Hey baby .....wanna breed

Guy: Say, do you have any Irish in you?
Girl: No.
Guy: Want some?

Guy: Hey baby! Wanna go out for some pizza and then go back to my place for shag?
Girl: No!
Guy: Fine then. We'll skip the pizza.


Those are some nice looking clothes. They'd look even better on my bedroom floor.

Wait, you used that one on me and I fell for it!

"We will be lovers. Shhhhhhh" (The jesture that accompanied this one was the gentleman raising an index finger to my lips----ugggggghhhhh)

"Your eyes. They are so big. 36C?"

Euterpe, is your daddy a baker, cause you got a nice set of buns.

Well, koolhand, your daddy must be a gangster 'cause you seem to be packin' some heat.

I can tell your boring, Stop talking to my Face, My tits are down here.

Are you ok? I thought it might have hurt when you fell from heaven.

Don't believe everything you hear. The bubonic plague hasn't affected all the important parts.

OK......Ewwwwwwwwwwwwww?

Where are the classic lines? Like:

"Say, if I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?"

"Youse should'nt be allowed in the frozen food aisle, cuz youse could melt all dis stuff." (Steve Martin, "My Blue Heaven"

"You and me, baby, ain't nothing but mammals, so let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel."

Number 10

"I was wondering if you have a moment to spare for me to hit on you?"
This one is relatively original and seems innocent enough for her to take notice, without feeling threatened by you. You'll also effectively send the message that you're interested in her, but are more interested in making her smile.

Number 9

"What's a sexy woman like you doing in a dirty mind like mine?"
A fairly underused line, this one conveys that you find her hot, without sounding offensive. Show her you can be a bad boy and see if she likes your direct approach with the ladies.

Number 8

"Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package."
This one is fairly blunt (no pun intended), but it's the perfect one to use when you see a woman giving you the eye and, well, checking out your package. Since she may feel a bit uneasy, you should take the opportunity and strike up a conversation while you have the upper hand.

Number 7

"Who's your friend?"
This one is risky, but it will shatter any pretense she might have about your actions by shifting the focus on her friend. This will intrigue her, to say the least, as she will wish to know "hey, how come not me?"

Number 6

"I'm new in town and can't find my way around; could I have directions to your place?"
The line itself isn't that great, but city newcomers are always refreshing people to speak with, and they also seem less threatening. It's highly unlikely that she'll shrug off your request to chat, and she'll probably laugh (if she has a sense of humor). The probability that she replies with a "where from?" is even higher. Do not use if you are actually a local.

Number 5

"I may not be the best-looking guy in here, but I'm the only one talking to you."
Believe it or not, only good-looking guys should use this one, since they'll be viewed as modest. If a guy uses this and he is ugly, then it's a sign of insecurity, which is a huge a turnoff. Generally, this line passes because it proves that the guy is down-to-earth. It will surely throw her off guard as she might get offended. Use with caution.

Number 4

"You must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me crazy."
If you ever spot an attractive woman and would like to approach her, this line is funny in a childish manner and women tend to laugh off funny lyrics such as this one.

Number 3

"What's your name?"
Instead of saying something like, "baby, we're like two banks: we both have interest in each other and we should merge," this one is simple and will not insult her intelligence. It may be the oldest one in the book (well, "come here often?" takes that award), but this one is genuine and direct -- two important qualities.

Number 2

"See my friend over there? He wants to know if you think I'm cute."
Extremely original, this line will make you stand out from the pack. This line virtually guarantees that she will smile. You may not leave with her that night, but you may get her phone number or at least chat it up for a while.

Number 1

"So what haven't you been told tonight?"
Very original, this line will make you stand out from the other men. You acknowledge that she has been getting hit on all night and you do not wish to add to her frustration. However, you are confident and interested enough to try your luck without insulting your intelligence.

Number 10

"Hey, I was just thinking of you! Okay, I'm all cleaned up now though."
This line is fairly crude and implies that you have the stamina of a 12-year-old, so it'll only tempt her to leave the room rather than leave with you .

Number 9

"How would you like your eggs for breakfast: scrambled, boiled or fertilized?"
This one may be funny, but it's also a tad presumptuous. Women generally dislike sexual references, as well as men who assume they can conquer any women they meet. To add insult to injury, it alludes to pregnancy; not a smart move.

Number 8

"What do you say we go back to my place and do some math? Add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and multiply!"
She may like the fact that you have a solid grasp of mathematics, but she will also assume you're the pocket protector-wearing type. And thanks to the pickup line's length, she will be history by the time you carry over the one.

Number 7

"You might as well sleep with me because I'm going to tell everybody we did it anyway."
This one is provocative and funny, but chances are it might garner you a slap across the face. On the other hand, she might counter with, "you'd better tell them I was good," but don't count on it.

Number 6

"Hey babe, do you know that my bedroom is soundproof?"
This one seems good at first, but it connotes that you will get action that night. Again, pretty presumptuous. On a scarier note, it also implies that if you do get her to your place, she could scream for help and no one would hear... pass.

Number 5

"Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a Braille name tag."
Okay, so you know what Braille is... good for you. You may need it after she gouges your eyes out for insinuating that you could fondle her breasts without consequence. Generally speaking, lines that could be used at porn conventions are of no use in mainstream settings.

Number 4

"I just want to tell you that you have a price to pay for being this cute, and I'm here to collect... your phone number, that is."
It's fairly witty, but drags on for too long. And she'll expect some celebrity to burst onto the scene and pitch you a collect-call phone program.

Number 3

"Did you know women are like parking spots? All the good ones are taken and the rest are handicapped. Which are you?"
Mr. Sensitive, "come on down!" Comparing women to cement on which cars are parked will not get you far, while implying that a woman is handicapped if she's single is going to put you in the ER.

Number 2

"Can I buy you a drink or do you prefer the cash instead?"
As a general rule, implying that she is a hooker will not work. Leave that for the streetwalker get-togethers and offer her a drink instead.

Number 1

"If you've lost your virginity, can I have the box it came in?"
Are you asking her whether or not she's a virgin? Why not ask her whether it's that time of the month while you're it? Leave the references to her box and your tools out of the dialogue, if you want to leave the bar in one piece.

Some bad pick up attempts that have been used on me in Second Life -


That SL Boxer Guy
Someone who had just asked every woman in the room for $2000 L said he was heading in the back for sex becuase "he had a cock now" and wanted us to join him.

When no one took him up on his offer he came back and said "Okay who wants to F%$K?"

When no one took him up on that he tried IM's , of course stomping his Ego was easy, I just said I dont date people with no money. =p

Miss Particular
One woman who hung around the same clubs I did started hitting on me. At first was subtle but she must have taken me not responding in kind as me being Coy and eventually began sounding more like a drunken sailor.

When I complined to my friend I found out this same woman was hitting on her in the same way in IM's also!

Later My girlfriend showed up , and , of course I find out she was also hitting on her in short order.

I eventually just told her she came on way to strong after many unsucessful subtle attempts to let her know i wasnt interested.

The "but you dont have cocks!" guy
Well - some know and others dont , I co -own Tiger Lily's night club with Rebeccah Baysklef. This is a lesbian bar, its not exactly a high profile place. Some guy (reasonbly newbish) I had run into earlier in the day when taking pictures for afriend asked to see the bar.

Well I told him - sure - but that it was a lesbian club. He seemd polite. Said that was fine.

So I TP's him over there. I was talking to a few freinds and standing rather close to my girlfriend.

So he talk civil for about 3 minutes then goes "So how bout it?"

He proceded to explain he thought we should all have sex with him , right then.

When we explained we werent interested in an orgy int he middle of the club, and even if we were wouldnt be interested in Him. He was pretty indignant.

We pointed out the 5 meter across Lesbian lovers symbol on the dance floor and told him again this was a lesbian club we didnt date men.

At this he said "But you dont have cocks!"

*rolls eyes*