Deleting Friends

OH actually... I have had some people mention that I deleted their card. Unless you are a spammer, I almost certainly deleted the card by accident. I'm not sure how I do it, but I suspect chardonnay is to blame. If this happens just send me an IM and I can TP you to exchange cards again.

I generally refuse to accept cards. Unless there comes a circumstance by which I really have a need to know when someone is on (or vice-versa), I generally dont offer them, nor do I generally accept them.

Keeps my list nice and tidy all around, and seldom needing a cleanup.


- Newfie

Ohh ok, and all this time I thought you just didnt like me following you around taking snap shots.

I tend to not delete cards, but do clean off my Friends list regularly. Being a Mentor, I end up with a lot of new resident "friends" that I tend to move off "friends" after a few weeks. The reason being that I'm too damn lazy to want to scroll through my friends list to see if my partner is online. So, sorry to all you whose names begin with a letter before "R" I still got your card, though, so I don't totally suck

I don't get offended when someon deletes my card. I would rather have my friends list filled with people who are actually friends, rather than people who only pretend because they're too embarressed to just delete.

I do clean out my friends list on occasion. Mostly when the servers are unstable and I get sick of seeing the blue boxes popping up with people I don't remember.

Ohh, and unsolicited teleports are grounds for removal too. If what you're doing is soo cool, can't you at least send me an IM first? Aren't you my friend?

I have the trouble with accidental invitations too. I used to just say nothing because I was too embarresed, but now I (at least sometime) try to send an IM off quickly saying something along the lines of "sorry about that, I had a mouse spazm". It can actually turn out to be rewarding sometimes since you get to talk with someone you might not have had the occasion to chat with otherwise. One of the funniest conversations I had was with someone who sent me an IM by mistake (my name was similar to the one he was looking for and he wasn't sure of the name). We realized right away that I was the wrong person, but we kept chatting anyway, it was fun .

I think I have about 12 people on my current list. I am a bit shy so it is kinda hard to make friends. Awhile back I felt I was bothering people because they always were too busy to talk to me or hang out or anything, so I deleted all but my Partner and like 2 other people. I felt that if I wasn't important enough to talk to or hang out with, then I didn't wanna see them on my list anymore. I was also PMSing that day so I was in a pissy mood and tired of being made to feel as if I was an annoyance to people. I'm not very confrontational so i wasn't gonna IM people and say "OMGWTF why don't you talk to Zsu like you used to blah blah blah" So I just went on a deletion spree. So a few days later I get IM's wondering why I deleted, so I told them why and they felt pretty bad for making me feel that I was a bother. So I added the people back that actually seemed to care.

I love to look at profiles of people and sometimes in clicking it sends the person a notice that I want to add them. I really hate when it does this because I don't know what else to say except, "Sorry, I was trying to read your profile and it clicked wrong" I also don't like getting random card requests from people I don't know...mainly because they end up on your list and conversations never seem to take place after the fact. Then I feel bad in deleting them...but what do ya do ya know.

I'm pretty close with 90% of the people on my list, the others have been aquaintances from groups or whatnot that I like to stay in touch with.

Sounds like a lot of you still have the option enabled that alerts you when friends log on. Gah. How can you stand all those blue boxes?

It was one of the first things I turned off. If I want to know whether a friend's on, I just open the list and see if their name is in bold

I agree, I don't think the other person should know that we've deleted their card. It often gets taken the wrong way or leads to hurt feelings. Personally I very rarely initiate an exchange of cards with people just so I don't have that issue to deal with later. For whatever reason I usually accept the ones offered to me, even when I know that I'll delete them later. Some might say that more rude than declining them in the first place..lol

I like being notified when my friends log in, it saves me from opening and closing the friends list constantly.

I think this problem could be fixed fairly easily.

When you right click someone, the default Pie Menu option is "Add Friend". You have to click to "MORE" to "Offer Card".

The default should be to offer the calling card. You should have to go to "MORE" in the pie menu to offer friendship.

Cards are an easy way to remember who you've met, and IM them. That's what should be offered as default. Friendship requires more trust and should not be the default. I suspect many people don't even know the card option exists and think that "friendship" was simply a renamed "exchange cards" without knowing the full functionality of each relationship.

Regards,

-Flip

I detele cards all the time. If I don't need it to get ahold of someone on at least a semi-regular basis, I delete it. If anyone is taking it as an insult or slight, well... too bad really. Not a lot I can do about that. I'm not going to keep a thousand cards from people I don't talk to or even remember just because they may get their undies in a bunch. I'd suggest counseling to deal with their gnawing insecurities.

Jonquille, I'm having flashbacks to the Chris Rock stand up bit about the kids from Columbine...

Columbine kids excuse: "We don't have any friends. Everyone mocks us."

Chris Rock: "I saw the pictures! There were six of them! That's 3 on 3 on the half-court! I didn't have six friends in school! I ain't got six friends now!"



-Flip

The action of deleting a friendship also results in your name being removed from their friends list. I'm not sure that I want the system to be set up such that someone whom I may no longer consider to be a friend or may not even remember has the power to alter any part of my setup without my being notified.

I think in Eve Online - when you have no friends the message on the buddy list says


You have no Freinds!


hehe , Eve being a big, empty, impersonal kind of place - it tends to stay that way.

I'd agree to a point, Margaret, but the advantage of deleting from your Friends list is that (once you relog), they can no longer map you and they have to really search hard to find out if you're online. There are *some* cases where that's desirable.


/me creis!

I like having friends

I only delete if card abuse is an issue.

You're right. I didn't know till just now, when you explained it.

coco

Certainly a consideration for whom you choose to be joined in friendship with and which could well serve as a justification for declining the offer of friendship from someone you have just met. The ability to map your whereabouts anytime you're on could reasonably be stated to be a privelege reserved for people you know a bit first.

My comment pertained to requests for the act of rescinding the friendship to be executed without the other person receiving any notification that his setup has been adjusted.


Also, what Flipper said about calling cards versus friendship, the latter being a relatively recent addition to allow the ability to distinguish between friends and acquaitances or business contacts.

Thanks for the tip Flip...I knew about cards, but never understood the difference!

What's the difference?

Mmmm. Sounds delicious.

P2

Exchange cards gives you a way to remember the person's name and no more access than one has through their profile in Find. The "map" button is disabled unless they have allowed friendship. Becoming friends puts them on a separate list accessible through a tab at the bottom of the screen. In addition to listing your friends, this display shows options such as im, profile, allow modification rights,.... You have the ability to identify a friends' location at any time on the map via the the tab located under landmarks.

It used to be that the number of calling cards was taken into account for the calculation of the weekly stipend. As a result everyone had everyones calling card. As you flew over builds, or landed on someones land, cards were automatically offered. Events were about trading cards.

When the stipend calculation formula changed I found I was left literally with more than 1000 calling cards. Much more. One time I accidently granted mod rights to all cards I held and ended up crashing the sim or something. Phoenix Linden told me she had programmed the bit about mod rights but had not figured on anyone having that many.

When my inventory grew in excess of 20000 items i knew it was time. I deleted more than 1000 cards, along with more than 2000 pictures.

I really don't like being offered friendship almost immediately but I accept it and delete a couple of weeks later (which is about the time I forget who they are). If it's someone I've gone to meet on business or such then I usually offer a calling card fairly swiftly. I find this quite enough for most purposes.

I reject new ones and delete old ones frequently. Fuck it if anyone doesn't like it, people can ask me where I am if they want to visit.