Deleting Friends

You've probably done it. Your list is getting big, some of your "friends" you can't even recall ever meeting. Others turned out to be unpleasant people or a relationship you'd just as soon forget about ... maybe someone has been using your card to map-stalk you.

So you deleted their card.

I've had my card deleted in the past. And I've deleted cards, too. Depending on the situation, it may go completely unremarked. In one case, the person who deleted my card claimed he did it because "we barely spoke" (?). Another person whose card I deleted said that it was "insulting".

This is a new wrinkle on offline relationships. If you don't want to date that guy offline any more, you can just tell him you're busy. If you don't want to hang out and play cards with the guys anymore, you find something else to do. Nobody notices a card missing on a list. In SL, it's black and white. It's a tangible symbol of a quasi-relationship, even if it is a bad one or a non-existent one.

So why have you deleted cards? How did you feel when someone deleted yours? What's your feeling in general on deleting names from your friends list for any reason?

I found a fairly good indicator of whether I should delete them or not is when I couldn't remember who the hell they were.

And as you might imagine, I don't care what anyone thinks when I delete their card. Insulting?! Grow a friggin skin, ffs.

Forget about deleted cards, the problem I have is why I accept them to begin with. There is nothing worse than when you say hi to someone and they offer a friendship. There is the moment when you have to decide to accept it and avoid the awkward moment, or decline it and just move along.

I tend to be too nice and accept the friendship, only to delete it weeks later.

Whats funny is, when it happens so quickly, it could just be accident, as the person is trying to check your profile. And then whoever offered friendship by accident doesn't want to hurt YOUR feelings by saying they offered it by accident.

What a vicious cycle.

The other person shouldn't even be notified or have a way of knowing if I've deleted their card, IMO. I can erase people from my Rolodex without them knowing, why should that level of privacy be missing in SL when everything else is privacy, privacy, privacy?

hmm touchy subject...dont know whos reading..but I have on occasion went for a profile scan..and accidently hit Invite as friend..now way Im going to say "oh sry I meant to just read your prof..I dont want to be your friend" I just crawl off and quietly delete... Others are for er "other reasons"...lets not go there ^_^

I have had friendships deleted twice--these were friends, not people I had 'just met.' I am not a stalker, a griefer, a meanie, or a nut-job (OK. Jury's still out on 'nut-job' ). One offered an explaination, the other did not. I was left bewildered and hurt by both of the deletions.

Yes, I need much thicker skin, but I tend to live my Second Life much like I live my first.

Deleting cards or not has nothing to do with a friendship or fondness of aquaintance in my book.

Sometimes you just want to clean up your friends list and your inventory (dreads this latter part)

Of course peopel I find interesting I leave on my list even if we dont talk very often in the game ... hehe Cindy you'd qualify =).

Then again some people make HUGE deals about removing you from their list.

A former lover of mine literally made a 2 day and several hour long ordeal out of taking me off her list.

I asked simply - why not just stop talking to me for a week and delete my card/freinds?

I cry when people delete my cards

Unless they are fscking nutso's or I dislike them! Then I don't mind!

Well damn. There goes my theory about skin. Since you have over 2000 of the fucking things

God, you read my mind. I've done that -- in a crowded, laggy club, looking around for someone wearing the "best whatever" to vote, my goofy mouse has clicked the wrong thing and I end up having a new friend without really intending to. I think that's where most of the unrecognizable names have come from on my list.

One guy invited me to his friends list the other day and even though I knew he was not the sort of person I wanted to get to know, I accepted. I knew the minute I did that he'd be taken off the list at my first chance. That makes me a bad person I guess


Kris! I'm devastated! I had you pegged for one of those huggy people whose avatar is covered in honey and syrup!

Illusions die hard. Calling cards don't.

I don't wear them all at once you crazy woman!!!

Well, let's change that, Co

I never delete my cards. Yeeees...I want to know exactly where you all are, and when you come and go. EXXCELLLENT.

Ok one exception, if you IM spam me, I delete your card instantly.

now I feel bad , Unless of course I'm nutso and you you dislike me. It was so long ago, you probably don't even remember me.

Yes I do! I have a pic of us dancing near the pool!

*cries*

Spam doesn't bother me nor does the fact I haven't talked to someone in awhile.

I fall under the "I am not even sure who you are" category and delete because of that. In fact, I just started deleting cards the other day because I would sit and build and see little blue boxes going up and down on my screen non-stop.

I don't take it personal if someone deletes my card or cancels friendship. I just remember that the next time I run into them and they act like they are happy to see me.

Would it help if I I could prove I am nutso?

LOL its cool! I don't take much offense...

*cries*

I almost forgot. On several occasions, I've had staff in clubs invite me to their friends list, only to find out later that their ONLY reason for exchanging cards was to spam me for events.

I get enough IMs of an evening. I already have friends I truly care about wondering why I don't respond quickly. I don't need repeated spam from a club inviting me to their "sexiest av" contest -- I actually resent having the friend tool used as an advertising ploy, especially if the advertising consists of multiple IMs every night, none of them personal to me.

These names come off my list without warning or explanation. And in a few cases I have not gone back to their club, either.

Aimee, hiding under my sofa only works if you take the wings off!

In that case, yes I would consider deleting the friend.

I did forget about the people that are on your friends list that spam everyone that is online night after night to just get into a big group chat session that will flood your whole screen. Once or twice I can forgive, repeatedly...nope they are gone.

Umm, you had my card a long time ago and deleted it. JERK!

I agree this is awkward.
For one thing, cards mean different things to different people. One av may think "best friends" and someone else may think "people I know" or "someone I met once"
Secondly, if you've just met someone (and consider cardholders to be among your friends), you have no idea how you're gonna get along with the guy/gal.



Good idea

I agree.

I'm the type of person who likes to clean out her closets on a regular basis. I'm also the type of person who can't stand the idea that somebody I have no idea who they are will get their feelings hurt if I delete their card.

So I am forced to be unhappy about the calling card list.

coco