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Roseann Flora
/wrist
Join date: 7 Feb 2004
Posts: 1,058
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07-11-2005 07:31
From: Lecktor Hannibal This business man checked into a hotel on a business trip and he was a bit
lonely so he thought he would get one of those girls he saw advertised in yellow pages under massage.
He got one called Erogeonique, lovely girl, bending over in the photo, beautiful.
So he picked up the phone and called the number.
"Hello?" the woman says.
"Hi, I hear you do massage and I'd like you to come to my
room and give me a massage. No, wait, I want sex.
I want it hard, fast and now! I'm talking kinky, the
whole night, you name it we'll do it. Bring implements,
bring toys, do the lot, all night, tie me up, wear a strap
on, cover me in anything. Now how does that sound."
She says, "That sounds fantastic, but for an outside
line you need to press 9." LMAO...to funny |
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Nisa Stravinsky
Danger Mouse
Join date: 16 Sep 2004
Posts: 1,238
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I feel like this
07-11-2005 08:04
An older couple is lying in bed one morning, having just awakened from a good night's sleep.
He takes her hand and she responds,
"Don't touch me."
"Why not?"
he asks.
She answers back,
"Because I'm dead."
The husband says,
"What are you talking about?
We're both lying here in bed together
and talking to one another."
She says,
"No,
I'm definitely dead."
He insists,
"You're not dead.
What in the world makes you think you're dead?"
"Because I woke up this morning and nothing hurts."
_____________________
"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. Will you leave me breathless?"
"I'm beginning to think the human psyche enjoys victimizing itself. " - Sezmra Svarog
"Film critics said I gave a voice to the fear we all have: that we'll reach a certain point in our lives, look around and realize that all the things we said we'd do and become will never come to be -- and that we're ordinary." - Anne Bancroft (2003)
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Lecktor Hannibal
YOUR MOM
Join date: 1 Jul 2004
Posts: 6,734
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07-27-2005 12:43
Subject: Cinderella's wish
Cinderella is now 95 years old. After a fulfilling life with the now dead prince, she happily sits upon her rocking chair, watching the world go by from her front porch, with a cat named Bob for companionship.
One sunny afternoon out of nowhere, appeared the fairy godmother.
Cinderella said, "Fairy Godmother, what are you doing here after all these years"?
The fairy godmother replied, "Cinderella, you have lived an exemplary life since I last saw you. Is there anything for which your heart still yearns?"
Cinderella was taken aback, overjoyed, and after some thoughtful consideration, she uttered her first wish: "The prince was wonderful, but not much of an investor. I'm living hand to mouth on my disability checks, and I wish I were wealthy beyond comprehension.
Instantly her rocking chair turned into solid gold
Cinderella said, "Ooh, thank you, Fairy Godmother".
The fairy godmother replied "it is the least that I can do. What do you want for your second wish?"
Cinderella looked down at her frail body, and said, "I wish I were young and full of the beauty and youth I once had."
At once, her wish became reality, and her beautiful young visage returned. Cinderella felt stirrings inside of her that had been dormant for years.
And then the fairy godmother spoke once more: "You have one more wish; what shall it be?"
Cinderella looks over to the frightened cat in the corner and says, "I wish for you to transform Bob, my old cat, into a kind and handsome young man."
Magically, Bob suddenly underwent so fundamental a change in his biological make-up that, when he stood before her, he was a man so beautiful the likes of him neither she nor the world had ever seen.
The fairy godmother said, "Congratulations, Cinderella, enjoy your new life. With a blazing shock of bright blue electricity, the fairy godmother was gone as suddenly as she appeared. For a few eerie moments, Bob and Cinderella looked into each other's eyes.
Cinderella sat, breathless, gazing at the most beautiful, stunningly perfect man she had ever seen.
Then Bob walked over to Cinderella, who sat transfixed in her rocking chair, &held her close in his young muscular arms. He leaned in close, blowing her golden hair with his warm breath as he whispered..........
"Bet you're sorry you neutered me."
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YOUR MOM says, 'Come visit us at SC MKII http://secondcitizen.net ' From: Khamon Fate Oh, Lecktor, you're terrible. Bikers have more fun than people !
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