Am I too nice?

Still missing those intimate moments with billy Madison I see

I guess you're just a lot smarter than I am, Eboni, that didn't even occur to me. I wrote it because I don't understand why I'm always told I'm "too nice".

zero.

And you believed him?! Sheesh.

This statement is gonna piss off PN

Dear Too Nice,


This is a good way to get chicks. You need to capitalize on it. I know you are smart enough not to post on a message board for real advice. So, play nice and get some coochie.

Also, since you a man, if you are having girl troubles, unless you are good in bed, your best solution is to get rich. Women will either stick to a man with money or that is good in bed like glue, so you can be as nice as you want to be if you have either of those BUT, if you do have either of those you don't have to be nice at all! It rocks!

Everyone plays games to one degree or another - it's the human condition I guess. We want something, we learn that doing "X, Y and Z" generally gets us what we want. It's called manipulation.

To what degree we apply manipulation to get what we want and whether or not we are dishonest in the means by which we apply it or we harm another person in getting what we want is where "most" people learn to draw the line.

In other words - When someone gives you a compliment, is it genuine or was it given to get something in return?

When someone pretends to be weaker than they are or when they are childish - what are they after?

When someone pretends to be stronger than they really are, what are they after?

We navigate through these social mazes everyday in life.

I simply prefer masking myself to a lesser degree and being around those who do it to a lesser degree. Phony compliments and silly underlying games like Chip mentioned set my teeth on edge because they waste my time and just seem transparent and trite.

I'd rather have someone come straight out and tell me what they want or need. I don't think it's that unreasonable in a relationship - fortunately, either does my husband.

Edited to say Taco, that I had a choice between marrying a "rich asshole" and a hard working but not so rich nice guy. I picked the hard working not so rich nice guy. I figured working together we would have everthing we would ever need - and we do.



.

Now I feel bad for voting Asshole, can I change my vote?

Taco:

The only women who complain about a man being "too nice" are "too imature" and best avoided, anyway.

Eboni:

I'm convinced you don't really mean at least half the things you say.

PN???

Who are you again???

You know, rhymes with cock

It's not a game!

Wait....what are y'all talkin' about?

Yes it is. Philip said so, so it must be true.

Here Taco - have a seat... you know I used to have much the same problem as you, so maybe I can sing you a lil song with some advice thats sure to cheer you up!

Whenever life get you down
Keeps you wearing a frown
And the gravy train has left you behind
And when your all out of hope
Down at the end of your rope
And nobody's there to throw you a line

If you ever get so low
That you don't know which way to go
Come on and take a walk in my shoes
Never worry 'bout a thing
Got the world on a string
Cause i've got the cure for all of my blues............

I take a look at my enormous penis
And my troubles start a-meltin' away (ba-doom bop bop)
I take a look at my enormous penis
And the happy times are comin' to stay (be-doo)

I got a sing and I dance
When I glance in my pants
And a-feelin's like a sun shiny day
I take a look at my enormous Pe-e-enis
And a-everything is goin' my way (ba-doom bop bop)

I take a look at my enormous peeeeeeeeenis

And everything is goin' my waaaaaaaay

(be-doop-waaaaaaah)

Can't say you are too nice or too much of an asshole, so I would go for the pie option, but this poll really needs a creepy option...

Ummmm...sock?

*points to blonde bouncy av*

lol!

coco

P.S. I love that "man up" phrase!

Boy I gotta stop right here before reading further to say what Rose said is SO on the mark. She is so right.

Also, yes, there should be a corresponding book for men, "She's Just Not That Into You."

But in addition to that, yes, there are women who play these games. And it is an ENDLESS game. They are waiting for that magical combination of rogue bad guy that every girl has to have at least one of at one time in her life (to get them out of her system, as well as to at least once enjoy the heady thrill that kind of guy provides . . . for a while) who is also gonna amazingly turn out to be the wonderful, trustworthy, fair-minded nice guy you can really love, not just be in love with.

Which just isn't going to happen. So she keeps going for the bad guys, and then wondering why they ran around on her, or whatever, while rejecting all the diamonds in the rough. Don't worry if she plays these games with you, cause her karma will be to be forever used and abused and never actually figure out why, unless she smartens up.

Generally, if a girl tells you you are "too nice," take her word for it, because she either means that she really just isn't that into you, or that she can't be happy unless she's being mistreated somehow. (Or, in a close and also common corollary, isn't happy in a relationship unless there is constant sturm und drang.)

And remember - it just takes one! (Not that that seems much consolation during the years when you seem to be bouncing around from one Ms. Wrong to another. But it's true, and it will happen.)

coco

P.S. Bear in mind that men, too, can suffer from those same dysfunctional mate-hunting syndromes that women do, so a little introspection now and again wouldn't be untoward.

Yeah, but eventually his arm will fall off

groan

coco

Going to have to agree with this. Of course, as with anything nothing is 100% true all the time, but I have seen this occur with friends and relatives. Not me, because I am not a nice guy.

Taco,

A certain someone told me this story today:

Once upon a time there was this guy that had a furby, which he kept on a table near a window. A bird flew in to this window, and the guy assumed it was because the bird was trying to get the furby. As the bird was laying on the ground the guy realized that it may or may not live. With his oven mitt on, the guy realized he may or may not have to "put it out of it's misery." So he waited and watched; because he was a nice guy. In the end the bird flew away alive, and the guy figured that it wasn't the furby the bird had been interested in afterall; it was the bird's own reflection.


P.S. I'm voting "I don't care/Pie".

The Healing Oven Mitts of Taco Rubio


There, I said it.

Yes, those sure are some fine oven mitts!

Taco, Taco, he's our man! If he can't do it, no one can!