A woman's needs

Now before I get into this.. its a joke, seriously, but a good one.

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From a guys point of view......

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled "WHAT?"

I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her.

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I don't know about that, better hide your credit cards. Now she knows where she can get these items quickly while you're asleep. buahaha

HEY!

I got that on myspace yesterday lol.

Nothing a little piece of fiberglass insulation in the dryer with the underwear wouldn't cure. jk

I like you

My man would know better then to do that to me. He would never have sex again lol

Hehe, so apparently that guy in the joke isn't all that smart then...

Nah, he isn't but the woman really doesn't seem to be either.

Neither is she at this point And if she can't take her own logic and stick with him through the comment the way he did through hers... well then, if she cheats, shes the one entirely at fault.

I hope you do realize that financial needs and emotional needs are completely seperate and mutually exclusive needs. If emotional needs are not being met, all the money in the world ain't gonna fix it. And btw, who said anything about cheating???

That story and the expectation that men can buy women things to get laid is one of the reasons that (before I got married) whenever I went on dates I paid for my own dinner and I never accepted gifts from anyone except close friends - and if I did, I reciprocated with an gift in return.

If I jump someone's bones it's because I think they are hot and a reasonably decent human and they think I'm hot, not because they bought me a diamond tennis bracelet.

Diamonds really are *not* forever - but two people who have learned how to stand side by side and fight through the tough punches of life together, that can be forever. Even in a world with a 50% divorce rate. It's just that it's harder work than shopping is.

That's what batteries are for

Besides... relationships are much more than sex and money.

www.eroscillator.com (no batteries required)

Yeah, this joke is a perfect example of how men just dont "get it" at all IMO.

The man in the joke (and presumably the writer of the joke), thinks there is some kind of equal realtionship there between the woman who didn't feel like having sex and the guy that tricked her at the mall?

And while the guy is a bit of a doofus, how is the woman? She didn't do anything dumb or wrong at all, she just got a nasty trick played on her by hubby because he thinks (wrongly) that its the same thing somehow.

She was straightforward, honest and loving towards him, he played a stupid joke on her cause he was pissed about not getting sex.

w00t!

I was thinking the same thing. I now know what I want the Easter Bunny to bring me instead of chocolate.

Actually, its also a good description of how women don't understand men, if you simply mirror the comments. Men don't always think fully with their hearts and emotions, but with their heads.

Men don't understand women, alot of the time. But its a two way street and many women don't understand men.

edit: women can use toys but men can use a hands on approach as well. Just because he isn't gatting any doesn't mean she'd be the only one getting off

You brush your teeth with it?

Looks like it was based on an electric toothbrush. Maybe someday my boyfriend will finally figure out why I wanted to borrow his for a trip away from him.

Right with you, Alaska


Look. . . Pr0n.

http://www.battelle.org/healthcare/html/gfx/content/toothbrush.jpg

haha Dr. Ruth herself provides an instructional CD to go with it. erm. or so I'm told. *blushes and runs away*

On a more serious note: it makes sense that a woman would need to feel wanted and loved before she'd want to have sex. It's silly to think the situations are parallel because they clearly aren't and only a sexist would see it as the same.

Women and men BOTH have hearts and women and men, last I knew, both have wallets. I would not ever assume a man needs to take me shopping with his money. If I am doing paid work, I have my own money. If I am doing the unpaid work of raising the kids and housekeeping, I'm due half of his anyway, because the way we have divided tasks means that I'm doing the unpaid work that allows him the ability to have paid work. I will never put myself in a position of relying on a man to get me what I want.

In the past, it was my husband who was the spendaholic, btw. The stereotype about women needs to be revisited.

Cheers everyone. ~ P.

I wouldn't say its sexist. Obviously the man in the situation might feel that shes pushing him away, thus make no effort further to connect. In fact I would say its sexist to think men and women have to think the same.

Men and women think differently. The man in this joke isn't sexist.

Besides the part where the "the passion heats up" and then she rejects him.