Lateness to work

ok.. this morning I had a problem with my motorbike, it made me all of 3 minutes late for work (wow - the world may end now). My Manager came up to me and asked me why I was late.

my reply was along the lines of....

Upon my approach to the building, I was 10 minutes early, I saw a bizarre object hovering above me. I found myself being sucked into it. there I met some aliens who prepared me for a probing. Before they carried it out they realised I was not the specimen they were after. I woke up outside the building, bewildered and confused. Next time I am abducted I shall get them to send you a note explaining.

He was not amused, but then with all the extra hours without extra pay I do, all the calls I take when I am on holiday or off sick, neither was I

What excuses have you used for tardiness or sickness?

he asked you why you were 3 minutes late? sheesh. I wouldn't have used an excuse, funny or otherwise. I'd have told him where to get off, using a liberal sprinkling of expletives.

A few months ago my boss (who is an immense fucktard) asked me where I thought I was going at around ten to the hour when I packed up to leave - something I almost never do. I said home. He motioned to his watch. To which I said 'and your point is?'.

So I stayed - and used that ten minutes to work out how much the 15 or 20 minutes I get into work early every day for the last 5 years amounted to. Then I emailed him, cc'd to HR, asking, since we were adhering strictly to working hours, whether they would prefer to give me 400+ hours overtime as back pay or whether he just wanted to give me the next 60 days off in lieu.

He doesn't do that any more

well, hes a new manager, I need to train him yet I think a little "work to rule" should come into play....

Hey Kris, I just read your computer specs on your blog...

You should have a couple of 15,000 RPM SCSI drives. Until you get that installed, I'm not impressed

Oh wait, I am impressed, I just don't understand how you could overlook such a key component.

I am a boss and if I caught crap like that coming out of my mouth I would bitch-slap myself, followed by a vigorous curb stomping.

LOL! Damn You Kris!!! You've made me jealous of a computer!!!

Heh, My managers have learned to not F*CK WITH ME!!!

See, I'm the last person to leave. My suck ass job at the restaurant, that is. Anyways, THEY are salary. I am Hourly. Should they decide to do something stoopid, such as - send the kid helping me home, have me do the jobs of 2 or 3 people (bus tables, wash dishes, clean up the mess left behind by cooks, waitresses, & customers), scrub down the shit on the bathroom floor left behind by incontinent old ladies/men, do "whatever" in the stock room, fill the drink machines up with ice, etc, etc, -- I will keep them there an extra hour or 3. We close at 11 PM, I'm out by 2 or 3 AM if they get an attitude or generally act like whining/demanding bitches.

Meanwhile, they're not getting paid past Midnight & wont get their year-end bonuses for keeping "work hours" down (a.k.a. less than 40/week).

If all goes well, I'm out by Midnight.

We have this evil witch at work that keeps an eye on everyones coming and goings and likes to kick up a stink if you put something different on your timesheet.

So... one month after MONTHS of this going on, my boss talks to me and says "Sandy has noticed that you have put 8.35 here instead of 8.45" so I explained I had actually arrived at 8.35am but i'd gone into another office to start off a recording (which is my main job) and that I hadn't arrived at MY office till around 8.45am but I could assure him I was in the building - her excuse for not thinking I was in til then WASN'T because she hadn't seen me until then, it was because neither my coat nor my bag were in my office. Man did I go nuts - what if I hadn't BOUGHT a bag or a fucking coat - god damn ratfaced bitch from HELL! So.. I decided that i'd get ppl to sign me in, so here I was every morning, lunchtime and hometime thrusting my timesheet in someones face explaining that I was under scrutiny for timesheet fraud of all of TEN damn minutes and everyone was very O.o... that's odd about it because they obviously see me coming in and go to the other office on another floor... so I made her look like a twat and made my timesheet pretty with signatures! My brother also took a stand and wrote every digit on his timesheet in a different pen, because she also claimed that some timesheets were not correct because the same damn pen had been used on them - just wtf?

This went on for further months until my boss lost it (cooly) with her and she stopped coming into my office every damn morning with some lame excuse just to see if I was here. I still see her looking at me now when I walk in and I make sure I don't put more even a second out of place.

Moron.

ok now I think my boss is going to have a hernia.

at 12 I packed up my desk (we are not allowed to leave confidential files out), picked up my bag and walked towards the door. He corners me and says "where are you going" so I told him to lunch, so he informs me that I never go to lunch. I tell him that I am aware, and that I feel its time to start going. So he tells me not to get petty about my tardiness this morning, and that hes following guidelines and he cant be blamed for doing his job. at which point I said "I am glad we understand each other" and walked out. will go back in half an hours time. This is the first time in about 6 months that I have taken a full hour. I am even going to leave on time (well 3 minutes late to make up). do this for a couple of days see how he copes

lol if I am tardy by more than 5 minutes my students will leave. If I am late to say a department meeting, I just tell them to "piss off I have real shit to do" and that usually settles the issue.

Three minutes??? Pfeh. Amateur.

Three minutes and hassles you for going to lunch?

If switching departments wasn't an option, I'd be looking for better places to work.

Make the boss feel BAD.

Be late like this a few more times. Make the excuse a bit lamer as you go.

On day 4 or 5 of this, ask to talk privately when the chew out begins. If they fail to do it, all the better. Explode into a tearful tirade about how you just lost X loved one due to cancer/the war in Iraq/pick your poison and that this person was like a parent/sibling/lover/etc to you, and you've been trying to hold it together for a week now but people just won't leave you alone over tiny little shit like 3, 5, and 7 minutes late for things that you do damn well every day no matter what you've been going through etc, etc, etc.

My comings and goings are impossible to keep track of and they don't bother to try. I do show up and I'm not drunk, so they should just count their blessings.

I must admit, in a job not all that long ago... I showed up at 8:10, grabbed a coffee and sat down by about 8:15 to work. No sooner had I, than my boss was there, tapping at watch and being pointy haired about docking my wages.

Later, I showed him my contract which clearly stated my start time was 8:30... I had just always been in my 8:00 before.

Bosses like that are everywhere. They're like arseholes, everyone gets at least one.

By the way, 5000th post!!!

BOSS: "Why are you three minutes late?"

Confused: "No I'm not."

BOSS: "Yes you ARE. Look at the time."

Cheerful: "Oh, no, no... I'm not officially here yet. I just needed to grab a pen from my desk so I can address this resume. When I get back from the post office in half an hour or so you can finish chewing me out for being three minutes late, if you like. See ya!"

lol is it wrong that if one of my football players is late to class, I make the individual do 50 pushups after practice?

What an asshat

I refuse to talk about asshats I've worked with in the past because in my mind, it validates them and I refuse to let them exist any longer than they need to (that, and I'm pregnant and don't want my kid to be born mad hehe)

If the boss can be there on time to catch you, you should be able to be there on time too. Set your clock to wake you 30 minutes earlier and take your time.

Excuses are for the irresponsible.

I'm tired of excuses from the lazy people who think they are indispensable.

I think if one wants to work at ones leisure one should be self-employed.

I know, I'm no fun...

Whoa....and you almost had us convinced that Jesus was really your homeboy.

Don't confuse laziness with apathy.

If it's apathy, stay home. No one will even notice....

If all of the people who didn't care about their jobs stayed home, the entire planet would stop functioning as billions of people did not go to work.

noone has answered my question

Every single one of them would be replaced by people who like to get paid.

Companies that think that way have high turnover.

there are not enough motivated people to replace every person on the planet who doesn't care about their job.

There are three kinds of workers.

1. Those that give a shit

2. Those that fake giving a shit for a paycheck

3. Those that don't give a shit


#1 is the smallest group. Most of them are white collar.

2 and 3 make up the largest groups and are a mix of white collar and blue collar.

If all the twos abruptly became threes, our economy would literally collapse.

you left out group #4
those who don't make enough to pay for the gasoline to get to work