Navy SEALS are always taught
1) Keep your priorities in order and 2) Know when
to act without hesitation.
A Navy SEAL was attending some college courses
between assignments. He had completed missions
in Iraq and Afghanistan.
One of the courses had a professor who was an
avowed atheist and a member of the ACLU.
One day he shocked the class when he came in, looked
to the ceiling, and flatly stated, "God, if you are real,
then I want you to knock me off this platform I'll give
you exactly 15 minutes."
The lecture room fell silent. You could hear a pin
drop. Ten minutes went by and the professor proclaimed,
"Here I am God. I'm still waiting."
It got down to the last couple of minutes when the
SEAL got out of his chair, went up to the professor,
and cold-cocked him; knocking him off the platform.
The professor was out cold. The SEAL went back to
his seat and sat there, silently.
The other students were shocked and stunned and sat
there looking on in silence. The professor eventually
came to, noticeably shaken, looked at the SEAL and
asked, "What the hell is the matter with you? Why
did you do that?"
The SEAL calmly replied, "God was too busy today
protecting America's soldiers who are protecting your
right to say stupid shit and act like an asshole.
So He sent me."
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Lecktor Hannibal
YOUR MOM
Join date: 1 Jul 2004
Posts: 6,734
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01-04-2006 10:13
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Ordinal Malaprop
really very ordinary
Join date: 9 Sep 2005
Posts: 4,607
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01-04-2006 10:28
Those Navy SEALs, eh? Macho, decisive and God-fearing, ready to cold-cock a member of the ACLU at a moment's notice, with a bit of dry wit thrown in. Where can I find one to marry? Is there a website?
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Sanstrom Laxness
Alway's Learning
Join date: 21 Nov 2005
Posts: 79
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01-04-2006 10:29
ROFL...Loving it!
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Lecktor Hannibal
YOUR MOM
Join date: 1 Jul 2004
Posts: 6,734
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01-04-2006 10:29
Those Navy SEALs, eh? Macho, decisive and God-fearing, ready to cold-cock a member of the ACLU at a moment's notice, with a bit of dry wit thrown in. Where can I find one to marry? Is there a website? One can only hope. I'm surprised you got the wit part. _____________________
YOUR MOM says, 'Come visit us at SC MKII http://secondcitizen.net '
Oh, Lecktor, you're terrible. Bikers have more fun than people ! |
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Chance Abattoir
Future Rockin' Resmod
Join date: 3 Apr 2004
Posts: 3,898
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01-04-2006 10:33
It's funny how God doesn't send reinforcements when people actually need them.
 _____________________
"The mob requires regular doses of scandal, paranoia and dilemma to alleviate the boredom of a meaningless existence."
-Insane Ramblings, Anton LaVey |
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Lucifer Baphomet
Postmodern Demon
Join date: 8 Sep 2005
Posts: 1,771
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01-04-2006 10:36
God doesnt even send them pie, let alone reinforcements.
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Lecktor Hannibal
YOUR MOM
Join date: 1 Jul 2004
Posts: 6,734
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01-04-2006 10:36
It's funny how God doesn't send reinforcements when people actually need them. Yeah it is. _____________________
YOUR MOM says, 'Come visit us at SC MKII http://secondcitizen.net '
Oh, Lecktor, you're terrible. Bikers have more fun than people ! |
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Logan Bauer
Inept Adept
Join date: 13 Jun 2004
Posts: 2,237
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01-04-2006 10:40
Those Navy SEALs, eh? Macho, decisive and God-fearing, ready to cold-cock a member of the ACLU at a moment's notice, with a bit of dry wit thrown in. Where can I find one to marry? Is there a website? Totally. That's hawt.  _____________________
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Stankleberry Sullivan
Interneter
Join date: 18 Dec 2005
Posts: 550
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01-04-2006 10:42
The SEAL calmly replied, "God was too busy today protecting America's soldiers who are protecting your right to say stupid shit and act like an asshole. So He sent me." Hahaha, that's awesome. |
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Lianne Marten
Cheese Baron
Join date: 6 May 2004
Posts: 2,192
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01-04-2006 11:14
So his priority was to assault his professor, thus prolly getting suspended from college if not expelled, and also criminal charges filed against him, and maybe getting kicked out of the SEALs if it's successfully prosecuted... instead of sitting quietly and making fun of the dumbass professor with his friends?
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Stankleberry Sullivan
Interneter
Join date: 18 Dec 2005
Posts: 550
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01-04-2006 11:19
So his priority was to assault his professor, thus prolly getting suspended from college if not expelled, and also criminal charges filed against him, and maybe getting kicked out of the SEALs if it's successfully prosecuted... instead of sitting quietly and making fun of the dumbass professor with his friends? Haha, I don't think it is a true story. Anyway, the professor asked for God to knock him over. Being that God is everything, the SEAL did the right thing by knocking him over. |
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Chance Abattoir
Future Rockin' Resmod
Join date: 3 Apr 2004
Posts: 3,898
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01-04-2006 11:19
So his priority was to assault his professor, thus prolly getting suspended from college if not expelled, and also criminal charges filed against him, and maybe getting kicked out of the SEALs if it's successfully prosecuted... instead of sitting quietly and making fun of the dumbass professor with his friends? You're clearly missing the point. He was trying to show us that soldiers are smart. _____________________
"The mob requires regular doses of scandal, paranoia and dilemma to alleviate the boredom of a meaningless existence."
-Insane Ramblings, Anton LaVey |
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Lecktor Hannibal
YOUR MOM
Join date: 1 Jul 2004
Posts: 6,734
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01-04-2006 11:26
Wow, some folks will just take umbrage with anything. Even wry humour. Very sad indeed.
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YOUR MOM says, 'Come visit us at SC MKII http://secondcitizen.net '
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Chance Abattoir
Future Rockin' Resmod
Join date: 3 Apr 2004
Posts: 3,898
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01-04-2006 11:33
 _____________________
"The mob requires regular doses of scandal, paranoia and dilemma to alleviate the boredom of a meaningless existence."
-Insane Ramblings, Anton LaVey |
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Rose Karuna
Lizard Doctor
Join date: 5 Jun 2004
Posts: 3,772
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01-04-2006 11:39
Wow, some folks will just take umbrage with anything. Even wry humour. Very sad indeed. Actually having lived with Marines my entire life, I thought it was pretty funny - but any more nasties about the ACLU and your birkenstocks could be revoked for life buddy. . _____________________
I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To
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Chip Midnight
ate my baby!
Join date: 1 May 2003
Posts: 10,231
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01-04-2006 12:11
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Ulrika Zugzwang
Magnanimous in Victory
Join date: 10 Jun 2004
Posts: 6,382
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01-04-2006 12:33
Ooh! Make-believe stories as rhetoric to support personal ideologies. I'm next!
As an atheist and member of the ACLU the professor was well acquainted with the bigotry and violence of overly militaristic and religious zealots -- and he knew how to protect himself. The professor rose to his feet, pulling a gun from his belt. The SEAL began to tremble. It was one thing to sucker punch an unarmed old man (kind of like the U.S. invading a third-world country) but facing a real threat was something he (or the U.S.) was not accustomed to. The SEAL bolted for the door, realizing that if the professor didn't shoot him the police would be there shortly to arrest him for assault anyway. As he ran by, in one swift movement the professor pulled his ACLU card from his wallet and scratched the words "thou shalt not kill" on the SEAL's forehead. The professor said, "next time you're on the battlefield, imagining that God is protecting your side only, also consider that your actions are in direct conflict with one of his very few prime directives." Ta da! That was fun. ~Ulrika~ _____________________
Chik-chik-chika-ahh
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Billy Grace
Land Market Facilitator
Join date: 8 Mar 2004
Posts: 2,307
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01-04-2006 12:37
rut roh
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Chance Abattoir
Future Rockin' Resmod
Join date: 3 Apr 2004
Posts: 3,898
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01-04-2006 12:40
 _____________________
"The mob requires regular doses of scandal, paranoia and dilemma to alleviate the boredom of a meaningless existence."
-Insane Ramblings, Anton LaVey |
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Lecktor Hannibal
YOUR MOM
Join date: 1 Jul 2004
Posts: 6,734
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01-04-2006 12:51
Ooh! Make-believe stories as rhetoric to support personal ideologies. I'm next! As an atheist and member of the ACLU the professor was well acquainted with the bigotry and violence of overly militaristic and religious zealots -- and he knew how to protect himself. The professor rose to his feet, pulling a gun from his belt. The SEAL began to tremble. It was one thing to sucker punch an unarmed old man (kind of like the U.S. invading a third-world country) but facing a real threat was something he (or the U.S.) was not accustomed to. The SEAL bolted for the door, realizing that if the professor didn't shoot him the police would be there shortly to arrest him for assault anyway. As he ran by, in one swift movement the professor pulled his ACLU card from his wallet and scratched the words "thou shalt not kill" on the SEAL's forehead. The professor said, "next time you're on the battlefield, imagining that God is protecting your side only, also consider that your actions are in direct conflict with one of his very few prime directives." Ta da! That was fun. ~Ulrika~ Come now Zug Zug, we all know a card carrying member of the ACLU wouldn't be caught dead with a gun in his belt. _____________________
YOUR MOM says, 'Come visit us at SC MKII http://secondcitizen.net '
Oh, Lecktor, you're terrible. Bikers have more fun than people ! |
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Stankleberry Sullivan
Interneter
Join date: 18 Dec 2005
Posts: 550
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01-04-2006 12:51
As an atheist and member of the ACLU the professor was well acquainted with the bigotry and violence of overly militaristic and religious zealots -- and he knew how to protect himself. The professor rose to his feet, pulling a gun from his belt. The SEAL began to tremble. Hahaha, it's so entertaining to read the demented ramblings of hippies. I love how you guys like to fantasize that people in the military are cowards. I guess you do that because you know every single one of them could destroy you very easily. So, out of fear, you come up with little fantasies about SEALs running scared from a hippy professor with a gun. It's awesome. |
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Ulrika Zugzwang
Magnanimous in Victory
Join date: 10 Jun 2004
Posts: 6,382
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01-04-2006 12:57
Come now Zug Zug, we all know a card carrying member of the ACLU wouldn't be caught dead with a gun in his belt. ~Ulrika~ _____________________
Chik-chik-chika-ahh
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Rose Karuna
Lizard Doctor
Join date: 5 Jun 2004
Posts: 3,772
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01-04-2006 13:03
It's just as ridiculous as a SEAL going to college I guess. ~Ulrika~ Zing~! LOL _____________________
I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To
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Logan Bauer
Inept Adept
Join date: 13 Jun 2004
Posts: 2,237
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01-04-2006 13:45
Zing~! LOL Yup, it appears class is back in session. _____________________
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Lecktor Hannibal
YOUR MOM
Join date: 1 Jul 2004
Posts: 6,734
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01-04-2006 13:59
Yup, it appears class is back in session. Oh puhleeze  _____________________
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