Ask Coco Anything

Logan,

It wasn't funny the first time.

See? Now this is a good example of a joke I don't get, or irony I don't get, or sarcasm I don't get, considering what Selador said. Or something!

coco

Pay it no mind, I wouldn't worry about anything that Logan guy has to say.

Yes it was!

~Ulrika~

There was humor in that? I thought he was telling me how he felt about me. And then said there were also two other people he felt that way about.

What am I missing?

coco

P.S. Oh - you must mean the Deem Golding and Deem Soothsayer part. I don't know who they are.

Coco! What is your beleifs on George W. Bush?

Also, Chocolate or Vanilla?

-Ayame Sapeur

Hiya, Ayame!

I don't get into politics on forums. Or much of anywhere, really. I only get into religion a bit (see various religious threads), and even then, I don't get terribly involved in the discussion.

As to the much more important question of chocolate or vanilla, I would have to say chocolate! Now there is nothing as delish as a well-made vanilla ice cream. But there is so much MORE in the world that is chocolate, I'll have to say it's all about the chocolate!

Is there anyone who doesn't like chocolate? I don't think I have ever met anybody. I've got a kid who tends to not eat very much of it, but she doesn't actually dislike it.

coco

Mm. Tru dat, tru dat.

-Ayame Sapeur

P.S. I agree, except that the only Chocolate ice cream over Vanilla to me is New York Fudge Brownie.

I just went down to my kid's room to rifle her Halloween candy, and discovered they make a Reese's Inside Out Peanut Butter Cup!

Verdict: Not as good as regular. And I have no idea why.

coco

I honestly didn't intend it to be funny, more thought provoking. I did like Coconut's answer, and she's right, it's easy to see fault in others and ignore our own. Most importantly, Jsecure reaffirmed a very important point.

Coco. Since you also have seen God and are therefore in a way my sister, and since they are pulling your leg, I'm going to go out on a limb and tell you the biggest most secret and significant secret in the universe. Right here. Right now. With everybody listening.

There isn't one.

There isn't a secret? But I like secrets

I've have never been married, so there are somethings about marriage and partnerships that I don't understand.


Why do people have to ask their spouses to spend money if they are adults? I mean unless they are going to spend the rent money on a new pair of Gucci boots, I don't see what the big deal is.

haha Well, there's not much joy in pulling my leg, since I tend never to catch on to the joke.

People gotta EXPLAIN it to me. Then I go . . . heh.

coco

This is an excellent question, and I know it has puzzled you about me and my husband.

I once did an article about marriage and money, and discovered several things:

1. People would much rather tell you about their sex lives than about their money arrangements!

2. Not having the house in both partner's names is a source of HORRIBLE friction. The person without his/her name on the house remains permanently pissed off about it. And more pissed off than the spouse typically realizes!

If you get married, either buy a new house, or put your spouse on the old house deed, I don't care what - just don't have it ever be in one person's name only. This was one huge (and surprising) thing that really stood out in all those couples I interviewed for that article.

3. The best financial advice I ever heard regarding couples and their money was from when I did that article, and it was from Joyce Brothers, who advised that all couples have "MOMA" accounts. "Money of My Own." That each person always have a certain amount of mad money to spend without explanation or accounting to each other makes for happier marriages.

In my own case, we never set up such accounts because it was too much trouble, and neither of us cares that much about money.

Moreover, both of us generally get whatever we want, within reason. So it's not a matter of having to ask each other about each expenditure. It is the "within reason" part where the discussion has to come up. Each of us knows there are certain sort of hot issue areas, because the other just isn't crazy about spending money in that area. In my case, online games is one such thing. He just considers it a waste of money (and time). Yet I can spend oodles on scrapbooking, and he doesn't bat an eyelash!

Bear in mind, too, that the less money a couple has, the more important it becomes to make sure your Gucci boots AREN'T eating into the rent money, or something your partner wanted equally as much, and maybe needed even more. Sometimes you can accidentally overspend simply because there are two of you spending and not always (of course) checking with each other.

Some couples keep their money entirely separate, and that works out well for them. However, I would add that it doesn't work to just go halvesies, since one spouse may be making less than the other. Percentage arrangements don't work out well for the same reason - the person who is making a whole lot and puts in his half is still left with a whole bunch more discretionary income than the person making a lot less, once that person has put in his/her half, and that isn't quite fair either.

And that says nothing about the value of the labor each person contributes to the arrangement. Consequently, I'm not too impressed by people who keep their money separate, unless they are in second or third marriages, have children from prior marriages, are wealthy, or any combination of these and other factors.

For the average couple, like us, it's just much simpler to throw our lot together entirely, and work out the little things like $10 for a video game as those things come along.

coco

That's what you think

*Flips through some polaroids of God with you know who*

How many people have you met who were "cuckoo for coco puffs"?

Hile, mainly!

He always used to say that to me in TSO.

Plus my kids liked them for a while.

coco