A Proclimation!

Our most able and esteemed Gran Vizier Juro Kothari called to our attention the precedent of Emperor Norton I of the United States. Upon deep refelction, we consider that it is our most noble duty to proclaim the following:

At the pre-emptory request of a large majority of the citizens of This Second Life, I Jake Reitveld, formerly of Real Life, and now for the last nine months past of Second Life, declare and proclaim myself the Emperor of This Second Life.

We hereby assume forthwith all the rights, duties, privileges, customs dignities and authorites of our suzereinity.

As out first act, based upon the pleasure and esteem we hold for its seeveral employees do hereby grand an Imperial Charter to the Corporation of Linden Lab, and charge them with the imporvement, expansion, maintenance and operation of Our Imperial Domains as they see fit. Such is our esteem that we grand the powers palitine, and theri decrees are to be enforced and obeyed forthwith as though the were issued by our very self.

Secondly We appoint and confirm Juro Kothari and Aimee Weber as our most esteemed Grand Viziers, and further appoint our honored and esteemed subjects Margaret Mafume, Chip Midnight, Cristiano Midnight, Ingid Ingersol, Flipper Perengrine and Willow Zander as out most esteemed and able council of Viziers, having all ancient and customary rights and titles to said office.

In matters of Imperial Finance we appoint Enberan Templar as Minister of the Imperial Treasury, in wich capacity he will advise us on matter of policy so that we may be well apprised of the operations of Linden Labs in carrying out the mandate of our Charter.

We hereby recognize the rights of our beloved and esteemed client State of Neulatenberg, and we assert no Authority Imperial that would interfere with its ancient traditions of democracy. We take the title of Lord Protector of Neualtenberg, and grant that state home rule in perpetuity.

We further Charge our esteemed subjects Nolan Nash and Lady Ulrika with the creation of Our Imperial Majesty's Loyal Opposition. We will rely on their counsel in opposition and grant them the right to petition us to veto the appointment of any ministers and offcials.

In light of our esteem for Lady Ulrika we hereby grant her the title of Duchess Imperial.

We appoint Taco Rubio and Katykiwi Moonflower to sit as Imperial Justices and grant the the right a powers to secure enforcement of our imperial decrees and ensure that all imperial proclimations do not violate the rights of our beloved subjects.

We also call for all out dear officers aboved named, to submit reccomendations pertaining to such other officers as the feel it right and proper to appoint. We also accept nomantions from our beloved subjects for individuals of merit who should be employed in matters imperial.

We abolish the now famed FIC, all persons holding titles or office in that organization will be removed of these dignities, and granted Imperial Office if propery nominated.

We hereby declare war on the World of There. And we send away its ambassadors to our Court, and refuse the name to be mentioned in our Imperial presence. That kingdom will be hencefore decalred infidel.

Finally we do proclaim this day of our accession and the coming to weeks as days of feast and celebration. We wish all our belvoved subjects Felicitations, Salutations and Seasond greetings in this time and in the coming new year.

Done by our Imperial hand, On this the first day of the first year of our imperial regency,
In Tamsi
December 22, 2005

Hey! You can't just up and declare yourself Emp... er... oh,



What I meant to say was, long live the Emperor! Let's talk perks

Dude... beware the ides of March.

...

You must be confused. Caesar did not want to be Emporer and was killed. Octavian accepted his destiny and became Augustus. Its only the megalomaniacs who do not declare themselves Imperial that get killed. However in light of your concern for our Imperial Person we make you Dame Lorelei Patel, and declare and proclaim that we will break bread and take water in your honor on the Ides of march.

Hey, we're all cool then. Salve imperator!

You must have bubbles, or

well, or

hmmm

or there won't be enough fun to go around!

Is the court in need of a Jester?

I'll paint portraits of your concubines....

You may be strong in your homeland, but the Silk Road is long and dangerous...

No, Caesar couldn't be Emporer because he wanted to be killed.

This has little to do with me. Being the Slacker I am, I found the original post quite a chore to read. I know little of these things discussed here. Put simply, a simple plywood prim knows more about this stuff than me.

In the tradition of Presidential appointees of the 21st Century, I believe that makes me perfectly qualified for any high level post that may still be open. I implore our new Emperor to consider my offer. Remember, that's Teeny "Heck of a Job" Leviathan.

I'm good with poison, plants & drugs, does work for anyone in the empire? Just asking.

Typical of the left... when in the majority not even one seat appointed for the right. So much for a fair and balanced administration.

Do unto others what has been done to you.

Being this is the first impirial administration in SL what exactly has been done unto you?

If it is seeking legitimacy there must be equal representation from the right.

Being this... empirical administration?

...
Vizzini: HE DIDN'T FALL? INCONCEIVABLE.

Inigo Montoya: You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

In recognition of the perspective of our esteemed subject Dianne Mechaniqe, we do hereby appoint her minister of television arts. She is to assume said duties forthwith.

Whereby we recognize that the subject of bubbles in our realm of second life is of central concern to the happiness of our subjects;

Whereby we further recognize that the proper intergration of bubbles into our various realms has not been thus far accomplished;

We do decree that Jincey Firefly be henceforth enofficed as our Imperial Commisioner of Assize for Bubbles, and is hence for charged with studying Bubbles and advising us as to how bubbles can best be intergrated into our imperial Realm.

Humor is an invaluable service to our Imperial Court, and to our beloved subjects as well. We do feel our Imperial Court should enjoy humor in many forms. Accordingly we decreee the creation of the Office of Lord High Jester of the Green, and futher appoint and charge our loyal and esteemed subject Chance Abbatoir to assume the rights, dignities, privileges and duties of this office forthwith.

Inasmuch as we have not appointed any imperial concubines as of yet, we cannot accpet the offer of our subject to undertake this task. However, we have no Imperial Portrait artist.

Accordingly, We do hereby decree that Daz Honey will henceforth hold the office of Imperial Portraitist and we herby charge her with gthe duties of making portraits of our Imperial Person, and the esteemed officers, nobles and subjects of our imperial domain.

It is our Imperial Uderstanding that Our Esteemed Charterd Corporation of Linden Lab, has shortened the silk road considerably with the avent of our most favored p2p telepoport. However we recognize that our realm still has many kilometre's of roadway. I hereby appoint our Loay subject Desmond Shang as Minister of Roadways.

In recognition of the wisdom of our esteemed subject Teeny Leviathan, we hereby Appoint her as Vice Vizier. Furthermore we appoint her as the first Knight of the Order of the Bush an Quayle, for her understanding of political accomplishments.

Yes. But we are not at liberty to discuss how we may best empoly these tools to accomplish our political ends. You will be richly, but privately, rewarded.

hail Eris
Long Live Norton
Long Live Reitveld


oh, and Cthulhu for President