Boys kissing vs Girls kissing

I had this discussion with some other friends as we talked about last night's Sopranos episode. I wondered aloud why men cannot seem to tolerate the sight of two other men making out, but two women making out is the hottest fantasy they can think of. Women, on the other hand, don't have as visceral a reaction to either and some even like kissing other girls -- we smell nicer, we kiss better and we don't have beard stubble or cigar breath

My husband went on a rant last year when Six Feet Under was running, because it featured a high volume of male-male love scenes. He claimed that HBO seemed to favor that sort of content out of proportion to the true extent of homosexuality in our society. (And no, my husband is not homophobic at all) I countered by pointing out that it wasn't HBO's job to represent public trends, but to entertain. And gay guys are just more entertaining than straight ones.

That didn't settle that argument of course, but I thought it'd be interesting to get your opinions on why male-male scenes are so much more controversial and evoke such strong reactions in some people as opposed to girl-girl scenarios in TV and movies?

Its cultural, to an extent, I think. Guys tend to be told from a very early age that they don't show affection for other guys, beyond at most a clap on the back or something. At the same time, we grow up seeing women hugging, etc rather casually. So there's sort of an ingrained response to displays of affection... its ok between women, not between men.

That's not the whole story, of course, but it's an explanation that goes beyond just being homophobia.

Cause real men don't need all that kissey kissey stuff. We just need an opening to fill and then a little nap.

If we see two guys kissing, we think "what a waste of time, when they could just get to it". But when we see two girls kissing, we think "Boy oh boy..they are putting on a good show for me before we get to it!".

The proceeding paragraph was brought to you by the Male Swine League.

Now, as to a serious answer, it is probably a combination of men being taught, or expected, in our culture, to be less soft and cuddly and more rough and tumble. Also, it has, for a long time in the U.S. culture, been far more socially acceptable for two women to get sexual with each other than for two men to do the same. Probably due to the fact that most men are attracted to women and two women is twice as pleasing visually.

Now in a lot of other cultures and far back in history, two men showing affection or becoming sexually involved was very much accepted and was far more common than two women doing the same.

Simple answer from a heterosexual male.

I am attracted to women, not men, therefor women kissing would attract me, not men kissing.

That... and... well... lesbians are hot.

For the record, I don't really care who kisses who, that is really none of my business... just trying to help answer the question posed. carry on. )

So you (if you're straight) would rather see two men making love?

Many men have a fantasy of having two women at once and (definitions aside) lesbians play into that fantasy. Men being affectionate on the other hand tweaks a lot of men's sense of being in control sexually.

There are a lot of great guys that are exceptions to this generalization but as a female observer of men's interactions I think its true for many.

*falls out of my chair laughing*

It wasn't that long ago that the first lesbian kiss on TV did not go over well and Murphy Brown's out of wedlock infant was major controversy. Male on male action is still shockingly different than what is normally seen and gets a reaction.

Women are better looking.

I don't really want to "see" men kissing men, or women kissing women. But then, I don't really want to "see" women kissing men, or men kissing women, either.

I don't mind watching kissing fish, however - they're kinda interesting.

Point is, it's just there. A part of the human experience. I don't need to have any of it shoved at me, and I don't fixate on it, unless I'm the fish that's part of the kissing.

Hahah!

Well said.

Though, to be honest - lesbians are really just like all other people. Some are hot and some aren't, and some may be beautiful to some people yet not to others.

Eye of the beholder and all that.

I'm with Billy, give me too lipstick lesbians kissing anyday. Now thats entertainment!!

I think most guys can't standing watching guys kiss because they're terrified.

Terrified of getting caught watching because someone else might assume they're interested

Terrified that they might find themselves intersted.

Most guys that are 'secure in their sexuality' (at least the ones I know) don't give a rip and won't go out of their way to see (or to avoid seeing) guys kissing.

Ironically enough... some of my gay friends even enjoy watching women kissing. Go figure.

I read a study in The Times afew months ago about a university in the UK that studied the reactions of men and woman when viewing sexual pictures.

This was done via the usual montoring of Skin and Heart responce and the dialation of the pupils of the eyes.

In general...remember I say general, woman found all pics of couples exciting to some extent. male-male, female-female, male-female

Straight men found male homosexual pics a real turn off, but the female-female a real turn on.

I dont recall the details if it mentioned the backgrounds of the subjects or not.

It's hard to guess if it's genetic or cultural

Can't we all just, get along?

Nah. Theres no fun in that.

Some months ago I was out dancing with a woman I was very close to. I kept getting those irritating IMs we sometimes get from guys who think that forcing themselves on us is one way to get lucky. I had tried everything short of insulting him to get him to stop and since I tend to be polite online I wasn't ready to go that far.

When I told him I was out with my sweetie, he started drooling and suggested he could join us for a threesome. Rolling my eyes, I passed it along to my friend who said, "Sure, but only if I get to use the strap-on on him first."

I passed that along to him, and he promptly shut the hell up When I teased him about it, he said "Seriously. That is not funny."

So, guys, sometimes that fantasy of yours just isn't going to be what you imagine it to be. If you can't take it, don't dish it

True, but it's a lot more complex than this. In ancient Greece, if you were an upper class male, having a male lover was, if not expected, certainly accepted. But there were restrictions. Generally, the system was one of organized pederasty..boys in their late teens (youths) were considered the epitome of physical beauty and an older male who was inclined towards other men would be expected to direct his affections in that direction. How this differs from simple molestation is lost on me, but that distinction appears not to have been made in the ancient world, certainly not by the perpetrators and perhaps not even by the youths involved in such an act. Oftentimes this sort of relationship presaged a political aignment between the youth and his older patron, who acted to introduce the youth to the halls of political power (more so in the Roman attempt to reconstruct and adopt Greek culture than in Greece itself, where this relationship was extolled as more "philosophical" and less practical).

However, the notion of an older man having a consensual relationship with another adult man was looked upon as somewhat repugnant. That was something you did with a youth and not someone your own age. The level of vitriol directed toward a man in a same-age relationship with another man might approach that (many in ) our culture directs toward homosexuals. Certainly in the ancient world, such a man would be the target of some ridicule or suspicion.

And as for women, well, what they wanted to do for pleasure was largely irrelevant to the male upper class, and mostly unrecorded, a few famous exceptions (perhaps Sappho) notwithstanding.

None of this holds true for anyone who was not a Roman Patrician, or a landholding Greek Gentleman. These relationships were the prerogative of the powerful.

OK, first off, we're talking about two attractive women. I want to see two ugly women make out any more than I want to see two guys.

Women are just more pleasing to the eye. So if one woman is good-two is great! (don't even get me started on three... )

On the other hand, men....are not.
...to me anyway.

However, I do have at least two female friends who get hot watching gay porn.

That said, I agree that a lot of it may be related to the fact that, as a society in general, we are more used to women being more affectionate with one another. It's not such a leap.

-Kiamat Dusk
...closet lesbian...

I am allergic to corn nuts.

Methinks you just answered your own question.
One woman good, two women better.
Doesn't take a PhD in rocket science

well when we make out....*oh*....this is about other people..hmmm..
I think that its a soccial issue rather than a personal issue. For me I am totally comfortable dating a man who has had some male sexual experience because I have no double standard. But I also identify myself more as a Bi-Sexual in RL and SL so who am I to tell anyone who they can kiss? Or rather who am I not to be turned on a little by two yummy men kissing and feeding off the sexual energy they are putting out? *passes out from the sexual energy being put off by this post*

This is a very easy question to answer.

The reason men are not bothered by two women kissing is because of the systematic objectification of women. Men see women as object of their desire. These women are not kissing to please each other, they are just waiting around for a man to show up.

It is the same reason why men do take exception to watching two butch dykes make out.

Women don't view men as objects.

I probably wouldn't have phrased it in quite so Manichean terms... I do know some women who seem to think of men as ambulatory... ah... meat. But in general, I think you scored a hit. Look at advertising, in the US, at least... what do we use to sell things? Pretty women. Selling beer? Pretty woman. Cars? Pretty woman. Lingerie, perfume, makeup, and pretty much anything else targeting female consumers... pretty woman. According to the implicit message sent by the media, women are sexy, and men aren't. Given that, and the (to me, somewhat mysterious) insecurity most men seem to have, and you have a recipe for some really odd gender issues.

Actually, let me rephrase something; the sexual insecurity most men display isn't somewhat mysterious, it's freakin' baffling. Why is it that most straight men are apparently horrified at the thought of even being in the same building as another man's penis? Perplexing. And amusing.

HAH! I love that. Also, isn't it interesting how the woman-on-woman scenes in hetero male porno always never look at all like any of my lesbian friends, but like mary kay saleswomen? They look like they are doing it for show only. Yet, the men in the audience don't care. THEY WANT it to be a show. NOT to be real. They'd be terrified of naked lesbians in the room with them because it wouldn't be for show and the lesbians would have far more interest in one another than in the given male.