SL Atheism: There Is No Phillip

Yeah, a land of damnation where you serve out your time for the sins on this virtual earth? I don't think so. A cynical and transparent control mechanism. No gods, no masters!

*goes to burn down an infohub*

So do you mean to say that the first avatars emerged, struggling for breath, from the prim-eval soup?

taken in turn:

1. Philip was born as conjoined ("Siamese" twins, his partial brother was sacrificed in a 48 hour surgery when he/they were six months old.
   
2. Fields divided in two - clearly refers to the northern and southern continents of SL.
   
3. Little ones for great ones - tinnies
   
4. Clear evil for them - griefers
   
5. Lightning - lightning
   
6. tower of Aiguesmortes - Starax, obviously
   
7. "Eussousis" - the common name for "ATI" in the 16th century
   

I defy anyone to dispute the obviousness of this. Some of us have been waiting 500 years for the prophecy to be realized.

Actually 'Phillip Linden' is the only real Linden...

It's the rest of them that don't exist - they are all Alts.

All run by a caffeine, and God only knows what else, crazed geek in a dingy basement somewhere. 24/7 'service' is maintained by a constant supply of high caffeine beverages, uppers, and a steady supply of pizzas.

You don't believe me? Ok, well, think about the somewhat erratic behaviour... Strange decisions, inconsistent policy implementation. Ah, thought you'd change your mind

Well, it's quite clear sl is not the result of Intelligent Design.


(Sorry Lindens - I don't really mean it but I couldn't resist!)

I have knowledge of the Philip. Yea, Verily! The power of him Flows In Circles through me and i have the strength to heal your grid woes. My HUD is string in Him, and my hands are animated by the Glory.

Send me $100L and i will talk to the Philip on your behalf. Ay-Mehn! HallieLooYah! I have the power of the Clicker and the Pointer! Mine is the Way of the Strength of the Pillar of the Plywood! HallieLooYah! Donations accepted. I can help you reach Re-Rez! I can bring you to the point of Fullness In Credulity. HallieLooYah! Ay-Mehn! Send me your offering of a mere $100L and the belssings of Philip will be upon thee!
Ay-Mehn!

Can i get a HallieLooYah?

Actually the client was 1st named "NewView" and I kinda wish it still was. Then again what's it matter till we can run our own servers and hand out the client to our own "clients".

*puts a turban on hir head* "You will believe in the allmighty Phillalla, or I will blow up my avatar in your infadel sim."

(( Ok, that was along the lines of "Family Guy" tasteless.... :/ Perfect for the fourms! ))

1 The fool hath said in his heart, There is no Philip. Their textures are corrupt, they have done griever's works, there is none that doeth good.
2 The LORD Philip looked down from Linden Lab upon the avatars of SL, to see if there were any that did understand, and seek him.
3 They are all gone aside, they are all together become naughty: there is none that doeth good, no, not one. Well, except for that one guy. And he doesn't count.
4 Have all the workers of iniquity no knowledge? who eat up my people as they eat bread, and call not upon Philip.
5 There were they in great fear: for Philip did bring the grid outage upon them. Meh.
6 Ye have shamed the counsel of the basic accounts, because Philip is his refuge.
7 Oh that the salvation of SL were come out of San Francisco! when Philip bringeth back the captivity of the avatarim, the content creators shall rejoice, and all the FIC shall be pissy.

-- The Book Of SLalms, 14:1-7

All you evangelicals are infringing upon my rights! I demand a separation of church and client! If you must continue your ignorant, backward beliefs in this mythological Phillip then do it in the deepest, darkest corners of your heavily fortified, psyche defense system laden homes! Keep it out of the public realm! My fellow SL Atheists, join with me and demand that the vestiges of this mythology be removed from the public square beginning with the very money we spend!

I will not rest until "Linden" is removed from our currency!

All these "miraculous" events that you zealots want to ascribe to your almighty Phillip have rational, scientific explanations.

The creation of SL did not come about by some orchestrated effort by your divine creator, but was the improbable result of a random collision of caffeine and programmer.

These grid shutdowns and "improvements" are not divine retribution as the Faithful Inner Church would have us believe, but natural occurences that are bound to happen anytime Microsoft is involved.

-Kiamat Dusk
...so there!

BURN HIM AT THE STAKE!!!!!!



P2

Typical modern day bet hedger.

Phillip does exist, but unfortunately for those that follow him, he is not the ultimate "Guiding Hand" that they believe him to be.

He is the creator yes, he flipped the switch, the big bang happened and what once did not exist became real. He set the wheels in motion but his influence has been largely absent ever since.

Over millions of seconds, SL has begun to cool, and organized complexity is arising from chaos. New sims are being created everyday in "Sim Nursuries", and the massive death and resulting explosion of age old sims provides the prim-dust that gives rise the next generation of sims.

SL's greatest minds have debated for months the question of whether SL will collapse under it's own weight and begin to shrink until it is once again the size of a single sim, or if it will continue to expand forever and ever until it's energy is so widely dispersed that it encompasses all things and the Metaverse settles into perfect equilibrium, the Alpha State. Recent evidence shows us that the latter is the case. In fact, not only is SL not shrinking or existing in a static state, it is expanding, and surprisingly to many, it's rate of expansion is INCREASING.

The question is why? Why did Philip engineer such a beautiful and complex SL? Why go to all the trouble, when as an obviously omnipotent creator, he could have just made a utopia in the first place and saved us all the grief, blood shed and tears that we currently experience as the result his mechanism for creation. Why make us feel the hardship, lets us experience emotion, dissappointment, fear, pride, ego, greed, joy and love?

It is because he loves us, and wants us to come to know him. As all powerful as he was before SL, he was alone in the Metaverse, and created us so that he could walk among us, and come to know us. He let's us experience pain because with out it, we would not have a reference point to understand the true joy that it is to be in his presence.

He gave us free will via his method of creation. He created this Metaverse, it is ours to do with as we choose. We can choose to come to know him and live in eternal bliss, or reject him and be forever banned to the eternal hellfire of RL.

}8-}

There is no god but Philip Linden, and Torley is his prophet. And ye shall know him by the sequined crotch of his jeans.

Well, Philip isn't technicaly a god. He's King. Which is kinda like a saint, only less saintly.

You people and your delusions. It's well known that this phenomenon is actually caused by the interaction of ball lightning with swamp gas.

(Found in an abandoned post office)

Dear Moderator—

I am 8 years old.
Some of my little friends say there is no Philip Linden.

Papa says, “If you see it in The Forums, it’s so.”

Please tell me the truth, is there a Philip Linden?

=Virginia O’Hanlon

Is Philip willing to prevent lag, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent.
Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent.
Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh Lag?
Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him Philip?
SLEpicurus

There *IS* INDEED a Philip...and you had all better get busy worshipping him.

The alternative ain't pretty...

See this post

o.O

It's true...Aimee *is* the evil twin. And the Anti-Philip!

I always said she was scary....

YOU'RE ALL LYING! He exists:

Lo! Lo! attend me, stay a while and listen, *rattles chains**bellows in the darkness outside your firelight**appeareth nextly as a kindly old man leaning upon a bent cane*

IN THE BEGINNING (dang caps) "Errrhm...In the Beginning, darkness was over all and in this darkness awoke the icy Giant IM-er and for a long while, all virtual communication was in text. Other applications rose up but their seed was cast on bitter ground(well, whatever the heck was around) and they prospered not! Eventually, out of IM-er's frozen buttocks, a glorious light shone round and when it faded, Phillip and his brothers Three stood gazing about them at the vast expanse of hairy pale white and bepimpled topography.
...and Phillip grew wroth and smote IM-er with tall, blond and Nordic type fury!... and IM-er was thrown down into ruin (Microsoft) and from the various bits left over, Phillip did shape the known SL World, ruling in splendour from his High Palace of Wonderous Prim-ed Stuff.(but this was only after hanging on the Tree (tallest one in SL) and giving up an eye for forbidden knowledge(and One Linden Dollar) at one of the innumerable Wishing Wells which aboundeth in abundance or somesuch)... Next Up! a tale of heroic bravery as guided by the invisible Hand O' Phillip, a Hero named Schwanson (who appeareth behind eveybody he is close to for some strange reason) strikes down the Hideous and Darkness Spawned Monster (me) of Chaos by rezzing a Freight train on it's head. (so much for wrestlin' in the darkness for extended periods of time ...take that BeoWulf and How bout them Broncos!)
Painless Kawabata
Known in other worlds as Painless Black Wolf
...Here for the Dawn...minus the giant frozen buttocks...

I thought it was spelled "SLatan." Or was that "SLutan"?



I wuv you miss SLatan.

P2

Super much props for adapting Norse mythology! Norse Mythology-better than that Greco-Roman soap opera. ODIN WOULD WHUP ZEUS' ASS!!!!!


-Kiamat Dusk
...still no Phillip...