Addiction to SL

Well hell man, that’s something I can totally relate to!
I can’t offer any solutions and please accept my apology for the earlier flippant comments I made.
I hope you find the answers you need to get through this and I wish you the best.

My name is Spadesrun and i am an SL Addict. But I have a bigger problem than that. I cant maintain a decent connection to the internet to stay in SL for decent periods of time. So I am an addict who seriously jones.

More serious though. I first came to SL simply looking to see what it was about. I met a wonderful personwithin my first 3 days and for the next 3 months ...well, I couldn't find anything entertaining to do in SL without her.

This brings up another problem for those who get addicted, what happens when what you enjoyed so emensely that you willingly gave up your RL for, are no longer there?

I was very willing to give up my wife and kids and couldn't care less about my job. Luckily this very special person took the effort to help me not only save my RL marriage, but to want it again. And she being an SL addict herself

I have one last problem with being an SL addict, I can't go back to anything else on the internet for entertainment. I detest games. Always too many people cheating to be the best. SL has no score, everyone is the best and always striving to be better. So SL has truly destroyed any possability for this computer tech to enjoy anything else.

But even after weighing all this, I stil would not give up SL. I have to fight often to maintain a balance between my desires for SL and RL. I would probably lose that battle if it werent for SL conectivy issues all the time.

Did we date? ahaha
Yah, no I got lost for a bit in SL, I recovered, w/ helpful friends and a patient RL [oh it's all fun and games till they join and realize the ppls in SL are real!] and rem what I did enjoy about SL, that got me to officially join.

Well you made a more repsonsible decision than I. Then again my wife understands my need in these relationships. She is quite content to keep them online rather than me bringing them into our house. Yes, my wife does come into SL too, no I will nto give you her name.

The fact is that I get to meet people from all over the world. An endless sea of possable loves. I might miss out on them and be content with my wife. Then I might have gone through life all together without ever loving, and been just fine. But I enjoy loving too, and I enjoy falling in love. It must be good for them too, cause it takes 2 to love like that

Right now I play second life because i hate my first life. I can pull myself away though, I just tend to get depressed. In second life i can hide from my first life problems and look however i wan't. I have so much self hate that having a character who looks however i want it to look just makes me want to play more. I spend way to much money on second life, but i've stopped since i owe my bank money. The only times i am happy is when i'm with my boyfriend or on second life. I have been ill for a year and current off college. I think if i was not so ill i wouldn't play second life, i have nothing else to do. I use to play second life every now and then till i started becoming ill... I'f things don't change i don't know what i'll do... I wan't a better first life.

I agree. While I am not ill I do still get depressed about my first life. Not so much any more but I still want something more. Something my SL X brought to me that I hadn't had in so long I can't remember. But it must have been there because the moment I had it back, I was in love with it again. I don't think I wil ever outgrow SL.

I think many of the problems with SL is that people find relationships here and live as if there aren't any problems. Can't be, it our safe haven. But the moment we add people into our SL lives we have to accept there will be conflicts at some point. So far as relationships go, I think this is a big factor in problems in SL.

I am an addict, and no, I don't intend to resolve my addiction

Spadesrun

When I started this thread I was new to SL and completely addicted. My previous posts testify to the state I was in and the negative impact it was having on my RL.
Well they say that time goes fast in SL - and I have been through so much in past week or so.
I was addicted to SL itself, and I was addicted the feelings of love associated with my relationship with a young woman on SL. I am married in RL. And I suffer from depression (major).
I have a good friend in SL who was going through a tough time in RL and I was there for her. She then helped me through my need to be on SL all the time and helped me to split up with the woman I was 'seeing'. There was little substance to this love, just SL.

I grew very very close to this friend of mine as we helped each other through the chaos in our lives. Next thing you know, we both realised that we were in love.....and not some SL only, namby pamby, animal lust only, teenage lovesick trance type of love.

I am happy to now report that the reason I am addicted to SL is not SL. It is the woman I love on the other side of the world. We have agreed that we cannot be together in RL without hurting too many people. But we can be best friends in RL and married in SL, which we now are. And it is working......sure it'd be ideal if we could just be together, but we are mature adults with responsibilities in RL.

So, think of me what you will.....but I love my wife in RL, and I love my wife in SL, and I have a wonderful friend to share SL with and to help me on my jouney thru RL. Bloody hell, who knows whats next..........but I am happy, and life is no longer unmanageable.

Does your real life know?

That’s great news Cruise!
RL reality does have its way of slapping down the idyllic virtual world we want to create for our selves. Looks like you’ve found a solution that limits the damage.
Denying the heart can be just as dangerous as following it and you/re lucky to have two special people in your life who are willing to share you.
This type of arrangement is not uncommon in SL, and has worked for a good friend of mine for nearly 8 months. Sure she bitches about her SL partner now just as she does about her RL husband…LOL! But, she is getting the kind of attention she was missing in RL and keeps a roof over her head.
Seems it’s the little victories that go a long way….
And yeah I owe you a PM. Seems I’m not nearly as brave as you are to share my story.
Once again that’s good news and best of luck to you and yours

Life is a continually changing story. I applaud your growth and accomplishments. My RL wife and I had been near divorce when I first came on SL. I founda wonderful woman in SL who for the first time in a long time had filled me with happiness. To the point that I locked myself away in RL and even spent 80% of my time at work on SL. I have made several close relations with people in SL. Not only women. I have an entire family in SL. A couple months into SL I brought my RL wife in. Soon after meeting my SL partner (not oficialized for private reasons) my wife approached her to get help fixing our marriage. My wife made the biggest sacrifice. I told her then I would work on our marriage btu I would not even sacrifice any time with my SL partner. My SL partner was paramount to helping restore the love between my wife and I. Even though my SL partner and I are no longer together andin fact rarely even speak.

I have another love in SL. I have my RL wife in RL and SL. I have a third love in SL. My wife has grown to understand that I need this attention. We have talked long not only between us but between all women, and men we are involve with. The ground rules are simple, every one is tol up front that I am married in RL. My RL wife has even taken to notify everyone she is married to Spadesrun Hotshot. This doesn not put any limitations on our relationships in SL. (sex, dating etc.) But it makes clear from the begining who is first in my RL. Yes my relationships in SL do exceed SL. Sometimes phone calls and most certainly emailing. But it assures my wife that everyone knows. Further, nothing is hidden. My wife knows what I do and I know what she does. Lastly, each person respects that we need alone time with people. Not just my wife and I, but My loves and I need time alone as well.

I think the trust we put into this situation has helped all of us grow together into one family. We all tend to look after each others needs and sometimes we even tell each other it's tiem to get off SL for RL needs. Yes most of us are addicted. But we have grown into one large support group. One family. With nothing but love, trust, honor and respect.

I only put this here that some may get ideas to help them. I do not say this is the best way or will work for everyone. As I said, my RL wife made the biggest sacrifice accepting this need of mine. I grow more in love with her every day.

I have not posted any of their names for the simply reason of respecting their privacy. But I thank every one of my family for enriching my life so much.

Spadesrun

I never heard of a computer while I was growing up.. Sure, I seen this strange box-like thing sitting around sometimes. Then I seen the same strange box thing with rectangle, stacked, pictures on the 'screen'. It looked like cards.

Some monster! .. I assumed. It was shoved into a closet of my friends dad, afterall. (though how he could afford it, I still don't know)

Then I went to school the next year and learned I'd be in some 'Computer class' with some other students. I hadn't any idea what this 'computer' stuff was all about till I went in. Most of the other kids understood but I couldn't even find an 'on' button!

.. Few years later I met another kid that built these machines and promptly bought one. It didn't take too long till I got addicted to my first online game.. Then soon after another, and another.. And another. The only thing that saves me is that I eventually get bored after a few months, quit, and take a break or try another new game.

.. Except this one =x It's SO cool! I want so bad to spend like $10 on it, like right now.. But I know I need to save money more. It would be terribly easy to get totally addicted. A support group would be kind of nifty, lol. Not sure if it'd help much though.