How do you see yourself?

hi hydra,

i'm coming up to my first rez-day, and find it interesting that i would've provided a different answer six months ago.

back then: This is me in another reality
since about october last year: This is my dolly that I play with.

i'm not sure why i was so obsessed with my avatar being 'like' me really. maybe i needed to assert my real identity in an alien world. as time went on, that became far less important, and the freedom to change my avatar so radically from one day to the next became an essential form of expression for me.

I still dont think avatar appearance is what makes a dolly - to me its how you accept the other people in the SL as real or not.

Theres a lot of people who act like the other players of SL are just computer characters and do not treat them like real people on the other side of the screen.

Looks like me, dresses like me... and after an encounter with an av measuring tool, it seem sthat by waggling the slider son day 1 I got within 1% of my RL dimensions, which I view as a particularily freaky factoid.

Just to put in another vector, whiel my default walk-around state is therefore, very faithful to my RL identity, I very much enjoy RP and transformations - something SL soooo nearly gets right!

I always have very hideous or miserable looking AVs that are more like pets to me rather than a digital version of myself. I guess its because they are funnier to look at than I am and I laugh alot when I see them.

i allways see myself from behind

I act like myself no matter which avatar I use, and I can't see using an avatar (dolly? ahem...) that doesn't reflect some aspect of my personality.

This could have been better worded.

I think the distinction is between what is generally signified by the abbreviations IC and OOC. In character and out of character. When you are IC you are role-playing what your avatar knows and feels and is like. When you are OOC, you are using SL as an alternative to any other net chatroom, to discuss any subject you like.

So the question is really, are you mostly IC or OOC? For me, I find the two elide a lot. I'm always IC to some degree, even when ostensible talking about OOC things.

I don't roleplay a sullen mardy cow.

That's how I am.

I treat people as people not characters in a game. If I'm specifically involved in a roleplay scenario then I will "act" accordingly, that's no different to the RPG/LARP stuff from my younger days. Day to day in SL, I behave as myself. I don't know if that answers the question, I am quite attached to my avatar, but I also know that some people, who see themselves as "real" think of avatars as nothing more than labels to their presence.

I'm not a doctor, I just play one on TV.

Lots of excellent posts .. and clearly the two options of the poll are so extreme, many folk fall somewhere in between.

Colette, you seem to imply that anyone not being their true self is cheating anybody they meet or are you just expanding on the extremes of the two options?

Many have said that they are still themselves to various degrees regardless of appearance.
Others have said they deliberately engineer ficticious characters.

I would go further as to say these may even merge .. for I think even the ficticious characters are mostly embedded with some part of the account holders personality whether conscious or subconscious.

For myself, when I read the question I wanted to tick both. I started in my ignorance of its implications as a dolly. I reverted to fairly true when I successfully talked a number of RL chums along. So, Bilbo99 is very recognisable by my chums, including fiancee as me. Hence a tick in the first box.

A little later, I felt a desire to walk in 'others shoes' and hence my alt. I have learned a lot by this and have again made many friends. She does not lie. She does not cheat. She is as honest with her SL friends as Bilbo is with his RL ones. She meets them at the screen. Her friends do the same. Nobody in this arrangement sees this any more than fantasy. Nobody wants anybody else to get hurt. Hence a tick in the second box.

As I read through the posts I realised just how 'elastic' the two options are. So many shades of grey.

I love posts like this. I think these kind of issues are as important to new arrivals as how to open packages. There is power for good to be done here just as there is power to do evil. Many don't realise till too late.

think you have misread my posts Or I wasnt clear enough

What I mean is this.

If you feel that you and your av should be able to do anything you want without reguard to the fact that there are RL people behind those other avatars you meet. Then you are playing dollies - Or Games - Or being selfish - Or dismissing people. Call it what you want.

I said very specifically I wasnt refering to avatar apearance.

Basically those people you meet in SL are real people. If you treat them with respect and being guenuine (with yourself not a appearnace thing) then you are being real.

Perhaps when you are roleplaying your stretching that but not enough so you are playing a dolly in my book. Still within "yourself in a different reality" catagory

An example -

Someone playing a furry can be themselves and not a dolly - even if they are a furry and act like a furry.


I consider being a Dolly a negative. Thats where you see your avatar as not you, or even an extention of you. And what happens to your Avatar doesnt happen to you, therefore relationships you have do not matter, etc.

This is a great thread! I always wonder about the different reasons people are in SL and how that reflects in the way they look, act etc.

Me, I consider my avatar to be a representation of myself in a different reality, period. I'm in SL primarily to play music, and I want my band's RL fans to be comfortable hearing us in SL and vice versa.

The other reason I'm in SL is to meet cool people and appreciate their creativity, so would be pretty stupid to act like anyone other than the real me. I do presume everyone behind an avatar is a real person, and I don't think being online is an excuse to act like a boor, never have. I treat people in SL nicely unless I have a reason to do otherwise, same as in RL. And the nice thing about SL is that if I do have a reason not to be nice I don't have to be a bitch, I can just boot someone from my land, and/or mute them. So there really isn't any reason to act selfishly or be mean, ever. And because I act the way I do, I've tended to attract other people who are nice, helpful etc. It really is amazing how many people in SL are extremely cool, talented, and just want to do creative stuff and reach out to others for the sake of it.

This is a rather non-standard definition of roleplaying. Roleplaying usually refers to the personality and interactions, not the physical actions. That's why roleplayers are likely to type '/me stares at so-and-so' instead of trying to achieve the effect with av controls.

If you always look at someone while talking to them, then you're playing you, at least insofar as that personality trait is concerned.

I see myself as if writing myself down on paper. Then smoking the paper.

It's been said above, but excellent question - and a key one because we get real tensions when one person is playing dolly and another is working as a fuller extension of themselves in SL. They can clash.

I personally am both - and very clearly so. I have this alt for which I have several avi's, male female and neither, who plays at being a samurai, a philosopher, rambo and sex toy at various times. This is quite clearly my 'dolly'. I use it to play, and that's it.

However, I have another alt that is me - as similar to me (well me in my early 20's) as possible, with my real name - used for 'grown-up' interaction, business and interacting with RL friends here.

The two alts, along with their social groups, never meet, except in me, behind the keyboard.

This is the joy of SL.

I checked the box as myself in a different reality. The thing I love about SL is exploring my ideas on certain things. A number of times a situation will come up in SL where I will give a lot of real life thought to the way I think it should be and I am able to explore that here. I treat people here like I do in RL. I share details of my RL to my friends here like I would to my RL friends. Even when I am not on SL I think about my SL friends and wonder how things are going for them if I haven't spoken with them in a while. I pretty much conduct myself in SL the way I do in RL and dress the same way--in a lot of black-tailored and not overly sexy. I have never been interested in role playing and when I meet people here that are, we usually don't hit it off as friends. What I love about SL is the realness. I am able to express myself fully without fear of reprisal and also listen to others and get their take on things. It is wonderful to really make good friends from all over. And of course, I do completely respect how other choose to live their SL life as I respect how people choose to live their RL. Just anything other then being real doesn't appeal to me.

I also fall into the me in a different reality category. My avi is an idealized representation of myself, when creating her I tried a different look but it was a bit uncomfortable not being me for some reason, even my name is very close to my own. Her core personality and values aren't that much different form my own, she just is less inhibited, more outgoing, and is probably more adventurous than the real me. Although I have no intention of taking my SL relationships into the real world, I treat people here as I would in real world, as I would like to be treated. I really don't care if an individual want's to invent a totally new persona in world, even if it is the opposite in temperment, gender, whatever, as long as they remain true to it in the context of the game.

I'm generally more patient and accepting in SL as nothing can really harm you. My RL is actually more socially active (especially since I caught the digital designing bug) and much more lucritive, but at times very stressful. SL is how I escape. I'm a bit of a shape-shifter and go from my main Jax incarnation to Neko to furry, to dragon, even a cheetah! For me, fantasy is the biggest draw. Regardless of my AV's skin, I always behave in way that I feel is fair, respectful, and fun! Jax is a better me. All the good without the RL frustrations that sometimes cloud a real person's spirit. After particularly good nite online though, the spirit of Jax follows me into RL and I find myself acting in a more patient and accpeting way. RL never follows Jax to SL though. She's definitely an extension of my personality. Whe I grow up I wanna be just like her! lol

Here's something I liked, not least because AB is a good friend and the reason I joined SL in the first place all that time ago:

http://www.alwaysblack.com/blackbox/possessingbarbie.html

Since my first faltering steps on Orientation Island I have known that I am me, Conifer, and not a virtual version of my RL agent! Sure, I know I need my agent to sustain me in SL, but I get the better deal! I think of my agent as a friend.

I have even had diagreements with my agent: - Like, I want a rent-bot but I'm not allowed yet and also I want to keep my Lindens but I worry they want to exchange them for RL money if I get too many!

Conifer's verdict: Be whoever you like in SL and that IS who you are!

My RL agent claims they don't regularly use any alts but I wouldn't mind if they did.

I don't know how similar I am to my RL agent. Here in SL I am not really looking for relationships and I float around as a free-spirited individual.

Personally I take other avatars at face value. For instance, last night I was at a club that was griefed by a mafia gangster with a machine gun and I wasn't thinking to myself "this might really be a little old lady with a vase of African Violets next to her computer" No, I took the gangster at face value - a nasty troublemaker! (and as it turned out a rather stupid one too as he didn't realise his gun wouldn't work!)

Even if avatars claim to be exact replicas of their RL's, that doesn't mean they are. The avatar could be lying or the replica might be a bad, unrealistic replica.

And....... If I am a dolly, at least I'm not Barbie and this is one hell of a Toy Town!

Thankyou Colette, I did misread your post .. as indeed I misread the OP question really. Thankyou for making it clearer. I have now ticked the 'me in alternative reality'


Thanks for that link Ace, a most thought-provoking but entertaining piece.

A little from column A... A little from column B.

I'd be surprised if the people for whom either definition is a hard and fast rule are not in the minority. As a person who has roleplayed in RL in the past its rather difficult to not let your own personality influence your actions since anything else just come off as forced and artificial, one of the problems I found with RPG computer games is that they cannot offer the freedom to act as you would like and so you play a much mor mechanical game rather than emotional. I also beleive that people will act different, however slightly, online compared to offline as it is a different medium of communication. Do you act the same way to some pixels on the screen with words appearing along the bottom as you would to someone sitting across a table from you? I hate to lump them in but griefers and abusive types are generally only so online because the medium allows that freedom without (real) consequence. Again these are not hard and fast rules I'm implying, just my observations.

Gillian in SL is, in many ways, like Gillian in RL. Oh she may dress nicer and is maybe a little more uninhibited and carefree but her core beliefs, her general tastes, her sense of humour are just like those of RL Gillian (this is a weird schizophrenic way of putting this! hehe). And, over time, RL Gillian is being influenced by SL Gillian since aspects of her personality that may not have shone through in the past are coming more to the fore thanks to the relative freedom offered in SL.

I didn't vote in the poll, not because I don't agree with the OPs intention but just because I think the scope is much too narrow to reflect my own experiences (that and I thought "dolly" was a bit condescending). However, its a great topic, very interesting.

Perhaps some of us are nicer people here than RL too

Hmm, been thinking deeper on this .. it really is thought provoking stuff!

On the second score, are the 'dollies' succeeding in completely detaching themselves from their RL selves?

Dismissing the appearance for a moment, doesn't the fundamental behaviour of someone trying to act out of character merely embed their own values inside a different kind of disguise. Can they mute them completely?

There's a definite easing of inhibitions amongst I would say a majority of us judging by the posts, for example at its simplest level, the ease of meeting someone and talking in SL where one would be retiscent to in RL. Now this probably varies in degrees on the individual .. a sliding scale. Even griefers I would think are merely exhibiting anti-social traits they probably have in RL but (hopefully) don't exercise to the same degree.

So, can anyone really, really, portray, still ignoring appearance, a completely unlike persona?

Yep .. I know .. I have far too much free time on my hands ... Thank God System Admin won't let me download the client!!!

Haha, that's one of the things you can't fake in SL. Well, not any more than you can in RL.