Is this rude or what?
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Oryx Tempel
Registered User
Join date: 8 Nov 2006
Posts: 7,663
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03-04-2008 16:31
I sort of view SL as a foreign country... best to do as the natives do, but if you don't know, ask questions. Otherwise, tread lightly. Not everyone feels this way. And that's okay.
I wouldn't immediately assume that the guest/lover/friend/etc is a creep/freak/loser. I would assume that he/she/it doesn't know about the societal norms here. "Alarm bells" would be far too strong of a word for someone that IMs me the instant I login. Maybe this person just doesn't know your OWN PERSONAL RULES. Maybe his rules with his other friends are different.
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Dagmar Heideman
Bokko Dancer
Join date: 2 Feb 2007
Posts: 989
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03-04-2008 16:31
Four more words:
SECURITY ORB
LESS UGLY
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Ricardo Harris
Registered User
Join date: 1 Apr 2006
Posts: 1,944
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03-04-2008 16:33
Just another day in sl.
It's not rude kicking someone out your house or land. I do it all the time and look at me, I'm as nice as they come.
Don't worry about doing what you need to. Always look out for yourself and yours. Don't care how others perceive you as it doesn't count nor does it mean anything. Ban the sob. Case close.
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Colette Meiji
Registered User
Join date: 25 Mar 2005
Posts: 15,556
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03-04-2008 16:33
From: Cristalle Karami I've got two words for ya. IRON SPOON.
Way to stir the pot!! Lol well if you keep your land on restricted access while playing the virtual field, then this sort of thing will never happen to you. |
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Ricardo Harris
Registered User
Join date: 1 Apr 2006
Posts: 1,944
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03-04-2008 16:35
From: Kitty Barnett Since LL introduced SLURLs turning off the ability to create landmarks.
QUOTE]
Bingo! I keep it like this as I hate surprises. |
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Ricardo Harris
Registered User
Join date: 1 Apr 2006
Posts: 1,944
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03-04-2008 16:39
Then again maybe he thought he was the op's boyfriend. Some females think they're your girl after just one date, why not some guys too. They already have you on their profiles and everything after one date.
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Colette Meiji
Registered User
Join date: 25 Mar 2005
Posts: 15,556
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03-04-2008 16:45
From: Ricardo Harris Then again maybe he thought he was the op's boyfriend. Some females think they're your girl after just one date, why not some guys too. They already have you on their profiles and everything after one date. There are a lot of guys in SL like this. Helps to remember more than a few of the men (and women) who date on SL are pretty desperate in Real Life... Leading to people wanting to be a couple very quickly. --------------------- I once had someone who wanted to visit me IRL DURING the first time we were having cyber-sex, and it was a one night stand  |
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Chris Norse
Loud Arrogant Redneck
Join date: 1 Oct 2006
Posts: 5,735
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03-04-2008 16:45
From: Cristalle Karami I've got two words for ya. IRON SPOON.
Way to stir the pot!! /me Remembers the episode of OZ and shudders.
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“Rules are mostly made to be broken and are too often for the lazy to hide behind”
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Ricardo Harris
Registered User
Join date: 1 Apr 2006
Posts: 1,944
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03-04-2008 16:49
From: Colette Meiji There are a lot of guys in SL like this. Helps to remember more than a few of the men (and women) who date on SL are pretty desperate in Real Life... Leading to people wanting to be a couple very quickly. --------------------- I once had someone who wanted to visit me IRL DURING the first time we were having cyber-sex, and it was a one night stand Aren't those the best kind? Of course they are. |
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Chris Norse
Loud Arrogant Redneck
Join date: 1 Oct 2006
Posts: 5,735
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03-04-2008 16:51
From: Colette Meiji There are a lot of guys in SL like this. Helps to remember more than a few of the men (and women) who date on SL are pretty desperate in Real Life... Leading to people wanting to be a couple very quickly. --------------------- I once had someone who wanted to visit me IRL DURING the first time we were having cyber-sex, and it was a one night stand Colette, you said you would keep that between us. 
_____________________
I'm going to pick a fight
William Wallace, Braveheart
“Rules are mostly made to be broken and are too often for the lazy to hide behind”
Douglas MacArthur
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Colette Meiji
Registered User
Join date: 25 Mar 2005
Posts: 15,556
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03-04-2008 16:55
From: Ricardo Harris Aren't those the best kind? Of course they are. Oh yeah, definitely makes good sense to get involved with people with no sense of reality. LOL. |
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Colette Meiji
Registered User
Join date: 25 Mar 2005
Posts: 15,556
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03-04-2008 16:56
From: Chris Norse Colette, you said you would keep that between us. oops |
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JamesMichael Morane
Chooses Liberty!!!
Join date: 13 Feb 2008
Posts: 421
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03-04-2008 17:30
From: Lana Tomba Yes I just discovered this myself..I have a long narrow hallway cut of land that leads to the main chunk of my parcel and thats where i placed my tp point. Now when sitting in my home..I can look at the minmap and see if someone TPs in easily. However the random Flyer still likes to pop in unannounced. -Lana Lana I would not go unless I were invited. |
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Lana Tomba
Cheap,Fast or Good Pick 1
Join date: 5 Aug 2004
Posts: 746
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03-04-2008 17:44
James you are a very sweet man. I can't imagine anyone not inviting you anywhere  ~Lana |
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Showdog Tiger
Registered User
Join date: 30 Nov 2005
Posts: 404
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<Yawn> Show's Bedtime
03-04-2008 18:56
Dearly Darlings,
When Maneo is out of town RL I sleep with two dogs and a gun. I've been waiting for the day when someone other than Maneo enters my bedroom...I'm a very good shot and I want new carpet!
I don't have a bedroom in SL but I don't care for people popping into the house when I'm busy. Other than that....I really don't mind. My pet peeve is people coming into the house and not shutting the danged door. I don't know why that should bother me so much...no air conditioning or virtual moquitos. I just find that extremely rude.
I'm tucking my self to bed now with Reba and Beaux and the .44. You all have a lovely and safe evening!
Ever Yours,
Mrs. Showdog Tiger
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Dogdom Doge
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Angel Coral
Otherworldly
Join date: 12 Dec 2003
Posts: 224
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Keep an open mind and set boundaries
03-04-2008 21:07
From: Isabeau Imako I find it interesting how we all pick and choose what is accepted behaviour in Sl. We often compare it to RL and expect others to behave as they would 'outworld'. That we would and should bring over social norms into Sl. Yet I'm fairly certain (but could be wrong), that the OP would probably think twice before inviting a total stranger to her home in RL. The fact that there's no danger in doing so makes us more bold of course, but the same could be said of her guest.
I would also have found it rude for him to IM me right away, then pop over - just raising a point... I think this is a valid point. I know I do not act the same way in SL as I do RL in every situation. Yes, I very much am the same person, but it seems SL often has its own norms and customs in many ways. From: Oryx Tempel I sort of view SL as a foreign country... best to do as the natives do, but if you don't know, ask questions. Otherwise, tread lightly. Not everyone feels this way. And that's okay.
I wouldn't immediately assume that the guest/lover/friend/etc is a creep/freak/loser. I would assume that he/she/it doesn't know about the societal norms here. "Alarm bells" would be far too strong of a word for someone that IMs me the instant I login. Maybe this person just doesn't know your OWN PERSONAL RULES. Maybe his rules with his other friends are different. I think you are spot on, Oryx. With international residents and varying cultures, I've found my RL experiences do not always translate to SL nor would I want it to. I too find erring on the side of caution is usually the wisest course of action. Some people simply need more hard and fast boundaries. As is evident by the varying responses here to the OP's question and other responses to other threads, not everyone views acceptable behaviors the same way. If we don't articulate our personal rules, then we can't expect people to know them. While some may argue that these are basic expectations, I counter that they may be to some, but certainly not all and not in all cultures and situations. After all, SL is a world unto itself and we each create our own online persona, rules and expectations. Anyway, that's just my take on the situation. angel |
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Colette Meiji
Registered User
Join date: 25 Mar 2005
Posts: 15,556
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03-04-2008 21:15
From: Showdog Tiger
When Maneo is out of town RL I sleep with two dogs and a gun. I've been waiting for the day when someone other than Maneo enters my bedroom...I'm a very good shot and I want new carpet!
LOL |
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Drivin Sideways
100% recycled pixels
Join date: 30 Oct 2007
Posts: 502
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03-05-2008 05:40
From: Madhu Maruti Either way I do think that explaining yourself to him is preferable at this stage to expecting him to read your mind. Thank you. |
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Claire Silverspar
Pokes Badgers With Spoons
Join date: 31 Oct 2007
Posts: 5,375
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03-05-2008 06:10
I'd explain it to him. He may just have no idea what is accepted behaviour - especially as everyone's definition of correct etiquette differs to varying degrees. It would be rude to me though. Hell! Even I dont tp straight to my bedroom lol. I tp to my balcony outside my door and walk through (yes, I am wierd like that). But saying that, I welcome anyone to visit, as long as they respect my privacy. I wouldn't mind anyone Tping to my home. But then I have LMd other's homes, but I would never visit uninvited. Despite people telling me I am welcome to drop in anytime or use the place whenever i want.
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 I'll miss this damn place. I'll be over at SCII after the end has come.
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3Ring Binder
always smile
Join date: 8 Mar 2007
Posts: 15,028
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03-05-2008 07:03
From: Allegria Kanto I met a new (male) friend a few days ago and had a nice time dancing and chatting. We seemed to hit it off, and met again over the weekend, and during the visit, I showed him my home. This was just a tour of my living space, a friendly visit, nothing more. So last night I log on, the new friend IM's me within minutes (whole nother subject BTW), and before I have finished typing "Hi", TP's into my bedroom where I'm standing.  After I let him know this wasn't really the thing to do, I sent him downstairs to wait while I changed and went ahead and spent the evening with him again. We ended up in my home again, cuddling a little, nothing more. When I said it time for me to go, we said our good nights, and the guy wouldn't leave! I finally just logged off and left him standing in my living room. So, am I too soft-hearted? Should I have shown him the door or just kicked him out? Now I'm thinking I or my main (cause I'm an alt) will log on one day and find this guy pixel humping in our bed... What is it with some people that common courtesy seems so difficult in SL? Yet, I think this is a truly nice person, and he just doesn't get it. Please help with some advice... clearly, he is very aggressive and he has an agenda. delete from your friends list and ban him. all he is after is pixel sex from you. not sure why you can't see this yourself! 
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