Goodbye mentors

*nods*

The mentors with the most votes got a star with their name on it on the sidewalk of the volunteer sim.

It's probably one of the biggest visible shifts in mentality I can think of. A year ago mentors and helpers alike were set against it each time it was brought up to "reward" an individual, now it's cheered on.

And to think that we could have avoided this whole weary re-hash if Rhaorth had had the good sense to resist the urge to tell us all that she'd "just quietly left".

Oh, if only you had.

Hit the nail on the head! *Sigh*

So if someone says they are on medication due to mental health issues you class them as mentally unstable to be a mentor in SL?

I'm sorry but saying that you have come across mentally unstable people in the mentoring program is just tosh... They may be mentally unstable in your opinion.. but unless you can diagnose through a monitor then in all reality you have no idea, self admission means nothing.. a lot admit to being women in SL whilst in RL sat in their big boy truckers outfit scratching with their spare hand places where the sun don't shine..... I don't get where you are going with this point! I am trying to understand but even bringing up mental health issues just seems way beyond what was called for..



Well of course mentoring is what you make it... you have taken two completely different avenues and tried to make them parallel in your example.

I would say: Your either there to help people... Or your not..
You have gone on to say, you are either there to help people or you are there for your own self interests...what self interests? What perks do we get in the mentoring program..lol? Please tell me as they are keeping them quiet from me!

Oh sure you get the odd one that joins thinking they have joined the NYPD..but they are soon educated in my opinion and either stay to genuinely help others or they leave.




I am not reading BS into anything, I am stating my opinion and my first hand experience just as you talk of yours.
To say it would be awesome to found a group that would out do SL mentors comes across to me as bitter and unjust.. when the majority of people spend a lot of time doing nothing but helping others yet still take digs such as the above. I have seen the self founded groups work alongside the mentors at HIP and its a great thing to be a part of.. no one trying to outdo anyone..instead all working with the same aim.. to help others.. no self interests in sight.

it is open join hon, just look for the group called mentors, anyone can join, they get the default tag of resident, just im me in world after you join and I will add you to the mentors tag

(yes the lindens know I have the group, it is an acceptable group name and tag)

I agree, I am sorry. I respectfully bow out of this thread.

Thank you for getting my point. And while I don't purport to speak for RA, I will call a spade a spade and a drama queen a drama queen. Tired of drama? Stop making it.

not sure what you consider telling someone off... I have once in over a year suggested to someone that they could use the knowledge base to find the answer AND I posted to answer... THAT is not telling someone off

no offense to you, but it is exactly that attitude that seems to cause the strife in the mentors group.
It seems that because of all the individuality (which is a good thing) it causes way too many misperceived perceptions and thus ppl at each other's throats

some ppl might wonder why I posted this here... there are many reasons, the biggest being I wanted folks to know I left (and not just those that know me but those that may only know me by name) and secondly it is time the general population knows about how the whole mentor thing is... it is not a bed of roses.

What exactly is wrong about exposing the strife, hatred and general unrest within the mentors? It is not like they are some secret society or something.


I know that many folks think I am a drama queen, that is their perception of me... it is not like they know me, or know my everyday life, or what goes on in RL for me (talk about drama)

just because I do not come here and spill it all and talk about what is so bad or stressful in RL, doesn't mean I do not have one

If I am seen as a drama queen by some... so what?
It doesn't mean I am not allowed to post here... it doesn't mean what I have to say about some things are less valid (or less interesting).

and it doesn't mean that everyone will dislike me... or that everyone will like me

I do not expect everyone to like me.

It would be nice though, if those who dislike me would not attack me when they find the chance

(there are folks I dislike in both SL and RL, but I do not go out of my way to attack them personally) I may openly disagree with something they say but that is not attacking

as for mentoring, there is nothing to stop me from assisting others, just because I left the "official" group.

(sorry if this post seems to be rambling, got much on my mind today in RL, gonna be a very stressful week, so please forgive me if I snap from time to time, or ramble)

yep this thing totally irked me then and now... dunno why the lindens would want to split the mentors more than they are
it is volunteering, should someone gets out there and has a loud voice (meaning makes themselves very visible) be the one to get the special treatment, while another who does just as much as the first, does it in a very quiet way is not recognized as all?

Personally I think that it should be equal all around, no one should get special treatment, just cus they like to be louder...

(hope that makes sense)

and what is wrong with folks knowing how it really is in the mentor program?

roll your eyes all you want, it is time someone came forth publicly and exposed it for what it truly is

it is nice to actually see folks open up and discuss it, and put in their experiences, it shows me I am not alone in how I was feeling and seeing it.

To those who actually did reply with kind words and well thought out posts, I thank you

Qualities of a good mentor:

Does not attack or accuse other mentors and x-mentors
Has a lot of patience with other mentors and x-mentors
Does not add drama with other mentors and x-mentors
Does not low rate others to make themselves look good

I was thinking about volunteering, but now because Rha pointed out something hidden to me, and at least one or more 'current mentors' proved her right by your biting words against her, well...

You did the right thing Rha... just dont let them trap you in biting back at them. That would bring you down to their level.

hi graph

I have no intention of biting back
everyone is entitled to their opinion (even me) heh

and please do not let my comments and views discourage you from becoming a mentor, if you are wanting to try it, try it then judge for yourself if it is right for you

That was basically my vote ("All mentors" with a rationale against picking out individuals), but I didn't see an "All mentors" star so I guess it wasn't very popular .

For the record, I am not an official SL mentor. I have heard of the turbulence in this group, it's not news to me. My only point is the hypocrisy in this thread. Sure Rhaorth has a right to post what she wants. But so do I, and I call horsepucky on this whole "exiting quietly" bit by dragging your business into RA. Don't claim to be above drama when you stir it up yourself.

I guess this is the horse that broke the camel's back concerning my view of her. She is always a victim, or perceiving herself as being on the outside. Hell, Graph, even in your afk thread she was all moody and thinking no one liked her. Give us a break. Really. She takes any disagreement as some personal attack. I've lurked long enough to know what I mean and it's tired. I'm sure she's a nice person but damn I just hear whine whine whine out of her. Here, Rhaorth, have some cheese.

and you put into it what you THINK someone means
in graphs AFK thread I was joking
the reason no one gets to AFK prank me is cus I am rarely AFK and when I am no one is around

so stop doing what you accuse me of doing (and assuming things that are not actually there)

and if you think I am being a drama queen so be it, do not like the thread stop reading it, don't like my "drama" ignore me

simple enough right?

oh and keep your cheese me thinks you might need it more than I do

I don't think you need to be Mentor to help people...Truthfully unless they were hidden Mentors that helped me when I was newer I have never seen very many Mentors actually helping anyone.
I wonder why?

"Ex SL Mentor (I Quit)" - oh, the martyr you are. You are being a drama queen about it. One among many, it seems. That is my sole point. Good day.

you consider THAT drama?????

Good lord!! LOL you ain't seen drama if that is what you consider drama

have a good day to you too

No, I class them as mentally unstable if they say they are on medication/therapy for mental health issues AND act like complete sociopaths, OR just simply act like complete sociopaths without admissions of anything. Kinda simple to tell, really.



It's not "just tosh". I have had first hand experience with these people. Some of them have been (or presently are) part of organizations I have been involved with, and some have been expelled for seriously offensive behavior. Others were residents that I had to discipline regularly in my role as a manager of said organizations. Hell, one even showed RL pictures of his time in the institution! It was freaky.

I don't particularly care if you believe me or not. I have proof and evidence to back up my statements, and I am not the only one who had "experience" with them who can verify every thing I say about the subject. Point is, there are people who really shouldn't be in SL Mentors, and wouldn't be if they did a bit more realistic screening of inductees prior to inducting them.



Uhh, yeah, that's what I said.



As I SAID already, some people join it for the status symbology they think it represents. "Oh wow, I am a MENTOR! That's like, just one step under Linden, right? and WAY above the unwashed masses!". No, seriously, I have had one Mentor pretty much say that to me. I was flabbergasted.



or they just run around wearing the title and act like they are Phillip Linden's gift to the grid proper. *shrug* There are quite a few "Mentors" who do dick. Does the group ever get flushed of inactives? Are there any real requirements once they join?



You claim I said something I didn't. That's the BS part.



I wasn't presenting it in the light of competition so much as a personal observation that a more properly managed organization would do a lot better job at, well, helping folks, and reducing the constant and stupid drama that seems to plague the SL Mentors group, detracting the focus of the group as a whole from what is most important: Helping Others.

In fact, I would expect that they would do exactly as you suggest, work alongside the "official" SL Mentors group members and cross-pollinate assistance. They just wouldn't be drawn into the pettiness and other issues that SL Mentors can't seem to rid itself of.

Rha, there's nothing wrong with expressing your opinion. I'd never tell you not to do that, even when I happen to hold a different opinion. And while I am one of the first to talk about how many good mentors there are, and what great work the group as a whole is doing, I would never deny that there are also some troublemakers and a certain amount of Drama as well.

What I'm rolling my eyes at is the hypocrisy of your OP. You said "I just quietly left"...while at the same time trumpeting about it here in a way that was certain to ignite a hot discussion. A discussion, by the way, that has been held before, many times, so don't give me that "it's about time someone exposed the truth" line.

If that's not creating Drama, then I don't know what is.

then you misunderstood the OP
I never said I quietly left in the forums

I quietly left in the groups, I did not post a thing in the groups announcing I was leaving, I did not do the whole I am tired of this crap in the group msgs, THAT is what I meant

sorry if the way I worded it was easy to misunderstand
I only meant I quietly left the groups without the big long manifesto, and the big long blah blah in the groups

on the forums I choose to say something so that ppl know I left (a lot of ppl knew I was a mentor and I got lots of im's from folks all the time saying ty for being a mentor)
it is for them that I chose to post it here and to let everyone know what being a mentor is really like

(it is not all roses and peaches and cream, there is drama, backstabbing, and holier than thou types in there, and bickering worse than anything seen on these forums)

I just got tired of all the grandstanding so many mentors take. I will still assist others, I still have my own mentor group and anyone is welcome to call on me anytime they need help, or just want to bend an ear, or have a shoulder to cry on.


PS this whole thread is soooo not drama... I dunno what some of you classify as drama but this ain't it

heck I don't think this whole forum would have anything I would classify as drama

True. Although I find it much easier to ignore than when similar stuff goes on here.

I think that both things (the drama, and it being easier for me to ignore it in the Mentors group than here) have their roots in the same thing: community.

Someone mentioned recently that the Mentor group doesn't have a strong sense of community, and that some other in world helper groups do. I think I'd agree with that. The Mentors are a very large and diverse group. It's impossible to know more than a small fraction of them as individuals.

The regulars here, on the other hand, DO know each other pretty well. There are, what, 30 to 50 frequent posters? That's small enough to develop a real sense of community.

So...I'm taking a different approach than you to the problem. I don't let the drama get to me, or even pay it much attention. Instead, I focus on helping people, and on being a positive influence in the group, and let the drama queens go their merry way.

Here, on the other hand, is my family. Here is where I want to laugh and joke...and also to toss around more serious stuff, look at it from all sides. I don't always agree with y'all (what extended family ever agrees on anything?) But that's OK.

I might roll my eyes once in a while, or even make a snappish remark. But I still love you.

*HUGZ*
Lin

heh

well for me it is more than JUST the mentors, that was just one thing on top of a huge pile of stressful stuff

so I figured it was time to cut out the stress I can cut out, so I can better deal with the stresses I can not cut out

if things continue the way they are, my store and such might be next

*sigh*

and I luvs you all too, in a purely platonic how-you-luv-a-stranger kind of way

(being I only know a handful of you, at least what I would consider it means to know someone in SL) nooo not that kind of know... the kind where one has a chance to chat and get to know one another

/me doesn't really understand the official mentors group. Are there Lindens in it? Is there a non-cynical explanation out there for why they allow the drama queens & trouble makers & mis-information givers in it??

To be honest, I've thought many times about applying but the stories I hear sorta put me off it. I'm happy to help people but I'm not really interested in more drama.

basically the mentors group is a group of folks who applied and were accepted into the official mentor program
yes there are lindens however it is against the group rules to try to get a linden to help you *shrug*

they have meetings and mentor only islands they can go to
also being an official mentor allows you to enter the restricted oi's and hi's (orientation islands and help islands) that are for new players only

they are a large and diverse group that I personally think has gotten out of hand, too much so now that the lindens can no longer keep it in check

they try with rules for the group chat (meaning no chat, only use it for calls for assistance such as specific language helpers and such) the only problem is some folks do not follow the rules and cause more discord than assistance

then there are the mentors who seem to think they are better than other mentors and try to tell others what to do (and I for one do not like being spoken down to like I am less than another, especially in a role where all are supposedly equal)
I know I have made my mistakes, however I never lorded over anyone (and if I had been perceived as doing so I would hope someone would tell me)

the reason I joined over a year ago, was because I had such a good helpful mentor on my first day, I strived to be as helpful and good and thoughtful as he

I did not know that it would be an uphill battle fighting against the constant hatred people have for mentors and the discord within the mentor group it;s self

I would advise anyone to go ahead and apply if they really want to be a mentor, their experience may be different than mine, and if they do apply and get accepted I wish them all the luck... and would/will be there for them