Goodbye mentors

Did the title catch your attention?
Thought it might

Yep I did it, I left the mentorship...
after being an official SL mentor for a little over a year I finally decided enough was enough, and left

I still love helping folks, and will still help anyone in need, but I no longer am part of the official second life mentor group.

I had enough of the Drama LOL
(any mentors here knows just what I am talking about)

so... on that note... if you ever need help, and need someone to assist, feel free to give me a shout.

To anyone who knew I was a mentor, I am posting this to save you the trouble of eventually discovering I am no longer a mentor.
I did not do any big goodbyes, I just left the groups... done



anywho, to anyone who is looking into becoming a mentor, be prepared for lots of drama, lots of strife, and discord.. it is not all roses.

You said that right...............at times its just not wirth the effort. Since at times the LLABS puts their own drama creative people in the groups its nowonder many just say bie bie.....

Its bad enough a few are writing their term papers based on how people react to (x-problems) Beware! its almost that time again.................

I sorry you had to leave but then again atleast you left on your own terms......LLAbs doesnt give everyone that repect.........

Usagi

Thanks Usagi

I did not have to leave... I left because I wanted to
(there is a difference)

I just got tired of all the drama, fighting, people with complexes who seemed to think they could rule all the mentors, felt too much like competing in high school just to help someone out.

I literally felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulder AND no more group popping up with people shouting at each other just cuz someone asked a question

good lord, it is a place to help after all

(I have my own open join mentor group, non official, and people have joined, and do help each other, although it is a small quiet group) those in it know that they can come to me anytime they need help or heck even if they just wanna vent or chat

Rath,

In the early days when the group had 150 ( when I was a mentor ). It was always non stop..But then the boom came and the rush of adding every possible x-griefter etc to the group and then the internatal drama start occuring from one outlandish and totally drama intense term paper writing ( intern that LL had inthe group ). Just hurt the rep of the group. Yes there are many wonderful people giving their time and love to the group ( Like I did ( and you too ) for a very long time. Rath it all start with a person that knows how to deal with people in a soical group envor. LLabs just doesnt have the human resourses to have a desent leader inthe group. hence why there is so so many problems and issues inthe group that is blownup with its on LLABS drama tha seems to be formost importances for llabs to continue to inject in to the group from time to time.

Again you left on your own terms and not that of LLABS caused drama that hurt many good and very helpful mentors that was inthe group then. peace to you Rath



Usagi

please may i have an invite to your mentor group?> Im not at all comfortable asking about things or talking in the *official* mentor group...isnt that sad I do my own thing as a mentor...im happy with that, sometimes i go to the OI's but more often to head over to where a all has been made or just make sure i always *help* anyone i come a cross that seems to need it Gotta say...these days..i rarely read the drama in the group notices, i close them when it starts lol

Fai x

Even though these groups are prone to drama, you are a huge drama queen yourself, Rhaorth. You're always a freakin' victim, even among friends in here. Whine in the afk thread how you must not be liked because people don't pile things on you while afk. Whine, whine, whine. You take EVERYTHING personally. Well, this time, you should.

It is commendable that you want to help people, but your title in here and your posting history show you to be quite the drama queen. You are not any better than the people you chastise. But good on you for leaving a group you were not happy with. Thanks but no thanks, however, for bringing your drama into Resident Answers. Last time I checked, the mentors had their own board.

LOL Kattharina ... bit harsh no ? , I don't know the OP from the forum or from Mentor group so i dunno if she is or is not a drama queen... But i think she was just venting her frustration about how the group has turned out

On that Note i have to agree with the OP ... Man , Becoming a mentor for me was something i wanted to do from the first day i landed on HI , Turned out that by the time i got round to applying and actualy getting in it had turn in to some kind of free fro all noob party that was allso in the throw of some kind of power struggle between other mentor's who seem to think they have the right to talk to people like they are idiots and scream and shout at them for making spam ... and while doing it ... Making even more spam them self 0-o lol

The Metor Q&A group that was designed for mentors who dont mind too much if somone actualy had a valid question was set up and the guidlines for the main channel was slammed down ... It made things a little better as you could at least answer a call for help without being treated like a kid ....People respect the guidlines on both channels for the best part so it does seem a bit better now .

Befor the Q&A i concidered leaving myself a few times ... it just felt like i was not able to help without being blasted for it so i can see what the OP is saying and im sad that she took the option of leaving ... Mentor meetings are allso something i avoid ... its like being in a room full of people who dont understand that its a meeting and talk and shout..asking questions ( even after being asked 10 times to hold questions till the end )... You can tell even the Lindens are getting pissed off by the end of the meetings ahah

Im not painting all mentors with the same brush ... i have met some really cool people... People who will drop everything to help somone they don't know and ask for nothing in return.. People who really enjoy helping others and do it coz they can ... but on the other end of the spectrum ... i have met some total assholes who only seemed to become a mentor for some kind of power trip and seem to want to lord it over others ( Including other mentors ) like they are running the show .

Ether way , I enjoy being a mentor and since the Q&A has been set up things do seem to be on the right track to be getting better so im sorry to see a a member leave like that .

Rhaorth , I wish you well .... and your willingness to still want to help people shows that even though others might not care for you ... you still care for others ... Good Luck and have fun

cute slam on Rath. Spoken just like a ex drama person.hence the new name maybe? Gesh some things never are let alone. Gesh give Rath a break!

I get that. I looked in on the Mentors forum here once, it was horrible. Some poor Mentor wanted help with something, and she got yelled at by people who apparently thought that a REAL Mentor would already know the answer to that question, and if she didn't know the answer she shouldn't be a Mentor. Then other people with some more sense joined in, and it just got awful. There's absolutely no cohesion in that lot whatsoever.

I wasn't aware that you spoke for the Resident Answers board. Perhaps you should try just speaking for yourself and letting the rest of us use our own voices if we have a problem with someone.

Good job not naming names Rha! it's good when you let them come do it for themselves.

;o)

The mentor group has lost a wonderful mentor I'm sure but no doubt you'll keep up the mentoring of your own accord. Time to make some fun for yourself!

after reading a certain post, im happy you got the hell out of there Rha, if they are an example of whats goin on in the mentor groups, then you did the right thing.

Indeed you are right.......When fun is taken out whats the point? Problem is The mentors lose many wonderdful mentors each month..Because of the Internet BS as they say LLABS creates. Oh they have the special mentor voting to chose from their pares chosen to stickout and cause more hate and dislike in the group...Just love how people stab each other inthe back to make themselves look like they know more then everyone else.....This is called commuity helping each other? Indeed not, its called "ME.MYSELF....AND.........I".......Some concept of building envy and stuck people in the group..........

I bacame a mentor a few months ago and I pretty much stay away from all the mentor activities and drama. I put on my tag and go help people when it's convenient, but otherwise I don't get involved in any of the other sh**. LOL

I suppose one day I might get booted from the group for perceived non-participation. But I really don't care. I help people because I like to help. I dont have a superiority complex about what I know.....and if I don't have answers, I do my best to find someone who does. Most of the time if I do venture into the group chat to try and get more help.....I get the group chat error anyway So I guess as a mentor I'm somewhat of a blacksheep. I don't blame you for leaving the group though.... the only way I am able to remain IN the group is by keeping to myself. I do know some other very cool mentors however, and that at least gives me some validation for continuing.....that and the fact that I do really enjoy being able to help. (which I have done with or without the mentor title)

absoloootly whut i do too! I love mentoring..and i'd do it with or without a tag

Even if I never met you before, its always sad to lose a mentor. But I understand were your coming from. Its full of drama right now. I'm also tired of. *Insert question here* "Your a mentor shouldn't you already know this?" I keep the main group closed at all times unless I need it.

Non-participation is pretty much guaranteed to leave you in the group for years to come .

Answering a question in the group, that's something you get bumped down to apprentice/kicked out for on the other hand .

I am in two minds about this.. it seems some are jumping all over this thread with glee that the mentor group has been publicly looked down on... Rhaorth I enjoy our conversations that we have had and it was a nice surprise to find that I liked you as we added to friends.. LOL But to be honest I do think you were looking to be dramatic by bringing this here in this way... despite your claims of not wanting a big fuss as you shut the door you have done the complete opposite. I know that sounds out of order and I hope you don't take offence to it. After all its just my opinion.

I do though agree that the politics can be a minefield in group and it drives me insane when people act the boss to others...but to be honest hun I have even seen you tell people off in Q&A for not using the support portal I think sometimes everyone 'loses their cool' when in reality they are lovely and decent people such as yourself.

You have helped a lot of people and you must of at one point believed in the mentoring program, I am sorry it has now left you with a sense of bitterness maybe? Because its not all bad...for every bad five minutes there is a fantastic hour...

I think its great that you are continuing to help people as no one needs a tag just for that and I do believe despite my being blunt here that the mentors have lost a "goodie" in you.

What "special mentor voting"? I'm not aware of any such thing.

There are some genuinely good people in the SL Mentors group, but they are so not because they are in that group, but just because they are good people to begin with.

I lost all respect for LL and the SL Mentor's group after I saw some SERIOUSLY mentally unstable people accepted as Mentors. It was pretty much ask, and you got it. Most of the ones I knew did it for attention and self-aggrandizement. The title was and is a status symbol to them. They were neither capable nor desirous of truly helping anyone. In fact, many of them gleefully hand out WRONG information regularly and get spiteful if you try to politely correct them. "I'm a SL Mentor and I am never wrong!" type of attitude.

Sadly, I think that, nowadays, have the SL Mentor group tag or having it listed in your groups hurts you in more and more people's eyes than helps. That is truly unfortunate.

What the people who genuinely care about helping and are exceedingly good at it should do is write up a good charter and start a private Mentoring organization with similar goals, and FAR outdo the SL Mentors group. I think that would be awesome.

When I was a fledgling mentor, the nastiness in the group chat really put me off and I almost quit until I talked with an older, sage mentor and got some good support and advise. I'm glad I stayed. One can choose to let the drama upset them or one can choose to rise above it. Minimize the chat window if it bothers you, then go out there and do what mentors do best...help people.

How do you know these people were "SERIOUSLY unstable?" What leads to such a diagnosis?

Mentoring whether in an official capacity or on your own accord is what you make it and to me being able to wear the tag means I can get on to the orientation Islands and really muck in and help when people are at their most confused and I am fortunate enough to have "help" on hand when I am stuck...

Your last paragraph insinuates that all those in the mentoring program do not genuinely care.. your very off the mark.

I believe its the one that is the most outstanding mentor.sorry didnt explain it clearly enough.

Two things:

1) Self-admission of being institutionalized and/or under treatment/therapy

2) Personal first-hand experience



No, I don't consider Mentoring a "what you make of it" type of deal. Either you are there to help others, or you are there for your own self-interests unrelated to helping others. That makes a huge difference to me. I have run various volunteer organizations for 20 years, and that one truth makes the difference between a good volunteer and someone to avoid like the plague.



No it doesn't. You're reading BS into what I said. The FIRST paragraph states quite clearly the opposite, and the last paragraph says that a private group with a good charter could outdo the Mentors group AS A WHOLE, not that there was no one in the SL Mentors group that "genuinely care", in stark contradiction to what I said in the first paragraph.

This puts me right off mentoring. I enjoy helping people, full stop.

This seems to happen with lots of groups of people...certain folk pretend to want to do what the group is there for but then do their utmost to show off and battle for the status or power positions. In my local CofE church local folk want to do stuff like read the lesson at the Sunday service to show of in front of the local community. I rejected this church for that reason.

There is far more to life than showing off, looking cool and the rest....

It's nice to be important but its more important to be nice...