Are We ALL Welcomed Here?

I have been away a long time from forums, and didn't intend to ever come back to them. But I have a right to speak and will exercise that right. I am very sad that I experienced racism here this morning in an on-world situation and feel a need to post a thread that I hope will develop some debate. Give me time to work myself into my question. I am very sad because I use an avatar (spelt right this time? as someone gleefully pointed out long ago) who is "me" but today I met a horribly racist person. I let this "person" speak to me so that I could gauge his/her disdain of me - she (or he - who knows or cares?) used deadful language in describing what they thought of my skin colour (Check me out in profile and you wont see all of me - I am Goth and a Neko - on purpose). In reality, I am half-white and black and VERY proud of that and I have a black avatar that expresses myself. I love ALL of my heritage. BUT, I NEVER heard such horrible things in the real world as was typed to me in SL this morning. When I first logged on to SL many "moons" ago, I think it was an open and liberal world. I enjoyed interaction and debate. But this SL "world" is fast becoming xenophobic and dedicated to a very intensely UN-liberal viewpoint - so my question is this - why are we letting this happen?
This is a genuine opportunity to be global - yet we bicker and bitch and act stupidly. What REAL actions can we take in an unreal world to make us REALLY CONNECT? No "pies" please - this is a concerned user of sl.

WB Jig

Sad to see you had a bad morning.


I do think as SL becomes more of a "Mainstream" activity we are getting more and more people who have intolerant attitudes.

Sounds like a clear TOS violation. AR the jerk. Include the relevant chat logs if you have them. If you don't, turn chat log on for the future.

EDIT: By the way, welcome back to the forums. Glad to see you here again. One good way to help "really connect" in SL is to never let the bastards wear you down.

wb Jig

I think as we add more and more people, you will find intolerance in some form or another. Some people are intolerant of furries, some of "children". I'd like to say it CAN be helped...but really, it can't.

I, for one, welcome one and all. If I feel uncomfortable for some reason, then it's up to me to look internally and find out why, and resolve it. It is not appropriate for me to dump that on others.

It's terrible you've been treated in a way to prompt your question, Jig.

Unfortunately there are too many people in this world who don't treat others they same way they like to be treated themselves - some people are just ignorant.

As far as I am concerned, if someone can't 'live and let live' then they deserve to be treated with contempt, nothing less.

This is why things like the Omnicron and Mystitool are such wonderful creations. Someone starts being racist in any of my clubs and I simply crush, bubble, and orbit them. I usually write an AR while I'm busy crushing and bubbling them, gives me time to grab their key and any other essential stuff and make sure I properly spell their name.

I don't tolerate racism on any of the sims I work at. I won't hesitate to give someone the boot for gender, race, or any other personal attacks.

You think you've got it bad, you should try being a furry!. My friend is a rabbit in SL and he's always getting shot at.

Where the hell is PETA?

I'm not rabbit. I stand in sl as a person. I cant change my skin in reality.

There will always be someone who doesn't like you for some part of you that you didnt choose from the beginning. I say Walk away, turn the other cheek and walk away. Don't take on their anger. It will consume them soon enough. I can't apologize for them, but I can hope that someday they will realize what they've done.


You can always come hang out with me and me partner. We don't care what you are or what you choose to be. Just treat us like you want to be treated, and all will be fine!

*hugs*

Terrific response and so true! Self-awareness is the key here.

Sorry you ran into such a jerk, Jig. Like HoneyBear said, he/she was dumping his/her issue on you - and just as in real life, this happens in SL, unfortunately.

And why? It's not really necessary to know why people do this (they are not worth it)..or as a friend of mine says...

"Sometimes people are just ***holes, Muse."

Jig, that must have felt awful. In SL I have been everything from a human sized warthog/human, to a baroque lady, to my current avatar, who is a voluptuous black beauty. I started out with a stunning Skin Within skin that was nice and dark, and then it didn't look right on my somewhat amazonian avatar, so I just started shortening and thickening until it looked right. At this point my avatar is about 5'6", and about 200+lbs. She is a knock out! In RL I am a medium sized, somewhat pale redhead (who is going grey). As far as I am concearned, our avatars do reflect some part of us, consciously and subconsciously, and for someone to directly insult that is not what we are here for. If you want a place to go where your av will be welcomed instead of taunted, there is a new sim called New Toulouse that I've been hanging out in. The people there have been so absolutely welcoming and fantastic. I really hope you meet some nicer folks, since I know they're around. They post here on the forums all the time! Best luck to you. Oh, and deffinately AR the bugger, there is no excuse for that sort of behavior.

With great emphasis I say:

Depends.

People who usually use this word are those who are in the middle of whatever is being discussed. They're usually using it when for the most part they're not being accepted and choose to label others with this word like if calling someone intolerant makes them wrong or bais.

Depends.

Just because others accept certain things, groups and other types of behaviour and people doesn't mean it's right. Doesn't mean everyone should adhere to it. Doesn't mean it should be forced-fed to anyone to accept. And nowadays it seems this is exactly how it is, they want to ram down your throat what others choose to do.

Depends.



I'm also aware there's a way to go about disagreeing with this, choosing to make your views known. Going about it in a spiteful, mean way isn't the way to go about it as in the op's case.

I was referring to rl more then sl with my comments.

I had no idea it was against TOS to express hatred of others and was "AR'able".

I do not condone such actions, although I would dislike seeing avatars go around AR'ing thoughts and discussions.

I myself am Creole in RL which is an odd mix of French, Spanish, Native American and Black. I do understand how you feel Jig. ALthough my skin is whiter than some White people if asked I will tell them I am Black. Not ashamed of my heritage in any way.

Just AR the jerks you run into and move on. It takes a small mind to see only as far as the end of ones own nose. You don't need such folks and LL has a STRONG history of acting quickly on racist issues. The populace may be becoming more intollerant but LL is not.

I'm sorry you feel disheartened, try to let it go in a sense.
SL is not the utopia it seemed to hope for at one time if I get the history right,
there are little niches still. But w/ the present attitudes and mentalities you have to find and enjoy your own tolerable connections.
You should just have just ignored that person vomiting their BS, yah! for idiots w/ inet connections!!!
It's your time, don't let other ppls use your time, unless you want them to and enjoying it.
No matter what you do or don't do or look like or feel, some one is going to say something.
I'm a various pale and not exactly an Inu, kind of the opposite of a Neko and make a pretty reg skin.
And I'm always getting positive or negative feedback, unwarranted comments.
"zomg Becky look at her skin she it's so ...white." ie the pale.
Ppls that equate my wolfy Barbie as a doggy gurl or pony girl ... I'm not.
One time as a reg skin, I swear an escort IMed me to tell me I should put panties on in a spell store, I had shorts on! under the skirt.
Yes I wear skimp wear, but I also have very nice formal wear,
one skimpy shirt or skirt and your labeled pft! I wear what I want for me, w/e mood or 'coz it amuses ME,
"I'm so glad the amazon fad is dying out"
In general yes I am overly tall in populace but not around my character friends and RL partner, which amuses me, I'm short! around ppls.
It's kind of funny gimmie a theme I can throw it together. *tada*
Ppls still find some fault, thing to comment on.
I just never wear the same things often, I love my 3 fav looks and outfitted them to death, but I don't want to be any one thing alll the time.

And yah I get hellz for my typing and inet shorthand, I don't care,
I have better things to do then argue w/ grammer nazis dissecting font.

Community Standards - Number One
Intolerance
Combating intolerance is a cornerstone of Second Life's Community Standards. Actions that marginalize, belittle, or defame individuals or groups inhibit the satisfying exchange of ideas and diminish the Second Life community as whole. The use of derogatory or demeaning language or images in reference to another Resident's race, ethnicity, gender, religion, or sexual orientation is never allowed in Second Life.

The TOS specifies you must comply with the CS.

Check groups, this is clearly not enforced equally. Some intolerance must be worse than other intolerance.

You're not intolerant because of your thoughts since those are your own, you're intolerant through your actions or words and whether or not you focus on a group or an individual.

If for whatever reason you feel negatively about a certain skin colour then I wouldn't say that's healthy, but it's not necessarily a problem in and by itself. It's when you choose to act on those negative thoughts and feelings and direct them towards a random individual that you cross the line and become intolerant.

(Edited to clarify that "you" is the general form of you)

LL enforces nothing pro-actively

if you were to compare them to cops they would be the cops who hang out in the donut shop.

....that's the key - no one should be ashamed of who they are or their heritage - except the rude, nasty jerks of the world.

Ricardo has a point in that people often throw around the word intolerant when its only opinions being expressed.

In a sense desensitizing people to the word;

Dulling the impact for when its used to describe things that are actually intolerant that go on such as Racism, Sexism and Sexuality based discrimination.

I wish I knew the answer. Why does it happen and how can we stop it in RL?
Will hate/racism/inequality/stupidity ever go away? Is there some way to shut it out of SL? I'm sure we have all bickered and bitched, and behaved in a stupid manner in the past. What degree is acceptable/forgivable?




Posting a thread about it is a start. Discussing it, bringing it out in the open.

Glad you're back, Jig. I actually missed all your threads...
We may get an 'Discussion' forum soon. When it was brought up, I couldn't help but think of you! See Town Hall discussion and please add comments here,
/341/4f/250134/1.html

AR them and forget about it. In the real world, you would simply turn your back. There will never be full tolerance, not until we're all so bred into each other and we're all "mixed" that we can't tell one person from the other.

Then we'll find another way to segregate each other. Monetary brackets come to mind, or social groups.

I hate that this happened to you, Jig. Look at it this way: at some point, you'll forget this happened enough that it won't be a bother to you. But the racist will wake up every day and continue to be the same, miserable person hoping he can drag someone else's attitude down to his level. The effect he has on others is temporary. His misery is permanent.

Sounds like you ran into a bad egg.

We aren't all like that of course. My own family is mixed too, and occasionally runs into same.

I'm not sure what can be done. Most effectively, I think, is to simply be the example of a good person, and long term the barriers and the assumptions fall.

The person you ran into wasn't being a good example, and will draw negativity to their actions all by themselves. The best revenge is fun and success free of dealing with that person's issues.