IM's

so if she is not logging in as him, what does this mean?
IF she is not logging into his account, then don't even use a "what if" scenario, as that will have no bearing whatsoever on the situation, it is like comparing apples to oranges (logging in on his/logging in on her own)





I am married to my SL sweetheart (RL) and I would never dream of logging into his to check anything, nor would he do it to mine.. it is a matter of trust, and it sounds like... she doesn't trust him.
(and yes, if someone did that to me, it would end anything right then and there!)
very creepy and scary, to think someone is that obsessed wow

and you were answered, that they can not be cleared, and if she is not logging into his account, she has not way of knowing IF they were cleared.

She is assuming they are based on her own logs it sounds like, which have no bearing on his logs at all.

Clinger shes a Clinger RUN RUN RUN!~!!!!!

Thats odd, i been in SL a LONG time, and my IMs cap if i am offline for more then 4 hours at a time, and even if i send myself something from my alt KNOWING from checking my emails that i am capped, i have never seen a capped message.

And i answer my offlines from email, i am quite aware they are still there, never said otherwise, I said if someone else logged into his account, and HE didn't have them sent to email, he would not ever know if he missed some or not.

No need to be snide what-so ever. Based on the OP, the questions were answered repeatedly. Don't get upset if to us, it looked like someone else was logging in as him.. read the OP.

Drama. Welcome to SL.

~Brie

wha...?!?! you mean Jamie Farr in a dress?!?!

I would say she... or should I just call it and say you, is the one who has a problem, not the guy you were dating...

Wow...

Next time, give people you date some space, and don't cyber stalk them, its just as creepy as RL stalking.

I would say she... or should I just call it and say you, is the one who has a problem, not the guy you were dating...

Wow...

Next time, give people you date some space, and don't cyber stalk them, its just as creepy as RL stalking.

A lot of the confusion -- mine, anyway -- derives from not understanding exactly what it is that your friend sees or doesn't see that's got her puzzled. And I don't understand, I'm afraid, what you mean by "clearing" IMs.

She sends the guy an offline IM. She logs out. She logs in the following day, checks her groups and sees that the guy hasn't logged in since she sent the IM.

What does she then see, or not see, that causes her puzzlement? What do you mean, exactly, about her IMs still being "there"? Can you describe what she sees and where?

Are you saying that, after seeing he's not logged in since the last time she sent him an IM, she nevertheless decides to send him yet another one, and is confused by what she sees (or doesn't see) when she opens the window to write to him?

This thread should be stickied as an example of how not to ask a question in this forum: just enough information to make people think they might be able to answer it, not enough for anybody to be sure what the OP really meant, with a hint of relationship paranoia thrown in so that the over-emotional types that start their posts with "I didn't read all this thread but . . . " can get worked up and present their pre-recorded agenda for the umpteenth time.

Pep (And of course, it is a query "on behalf of a friend"; this should be against ToS/CS! )

You cannot see whether someone else has read or even received the IM you have sent in-game.

End of story!

Perhaps the boyfriend has Muted her. For good reason, I'd say.

Great point - this sounds obsessive, to say the least.

This thread is giving me a headache.

Don't read it.

1 & 4 -- good

2. No clue how you got a message about 'capped IMs' - I've never heard of such. If the person is not online, I get the offline message and if they are busy, I get their busy message, but never a 'capped IMs' message.

3. Yes a common group will definitively show when he last logged in.

5. What she thinks is the clearing of IMs is actually just a matter of how much her own history is showing her. When sh brings the IM window up each time, there is a certain amount of text shown - no clue how large this cache is or when it is flushed. In any case, her IM window in no way indicates whether or not his IMs have been read by him. As a related note - if she turned of her own logged of chat and IMs, every time she logged in and pulled up any IM or chat windows, there would never be anything showing - cuz it is a cache of what is being written to the log files.

Also, he will only get his IMs sent to email if he has that option turned on - many people do not. Once IMs are capped, you often will not see any more than that when you log in.

I have actually gotten email on messages that I do not see when I log in and I have seen messages waiting for me that I never got an email on. In addition, I have actually had a few IMs go to email when I am logged in -- usually if an IM comes during a TP.

Basically, many of SLs communication features are a bit overtaxed and screwed up, so you cannot really rely on anything.

Fixed it for ya!

Pep (even if introducing a grammatical error)

.

It sounds like, the 'friend' is seeing her own IM's to the boyfriend, every time she logs on, and she is thinking that him reading them or not reading them, is somehow showing up on HER IM client. if those IM's disappear, that he's somehow come in and cleared them.

But she's only seeing her own information, and whether or not those IM's are showing on her IM client or not, has NOTHING to do with whether he's seen them. She can only see HER client, his actions (logging on, or not) have no consequences on her client and vice versa........other than the group last log in, I don't know of any other way to know when a person's been on last. Tell your friend she's only looking at her own IM client and those messages showing or going away are only for her records.

i have always wanted to try that!!