Helping Older SLers

How do you help people in sl who may be older than yourself, lonely, confined, or disabled in any way?

If you are younger or more energetic, how do you help people in sl whose real lives may have some problems or difficulties?

In my case, I use my usual smiley chatty self and like to give a happy fantasy to men (or women if it comes to that) who may be lonely in real. (Not sure if Pep qualifies )

i help bri by explaining things to her when she is confused.

Wait, so you and Pep have...........ewwwww

/me goes to bleach my brain.

I do not ask or reveal anything personal or 'first life' here or in Second Life. So I wouldn't know. I assume a lot of people with such situations as you have described are there for escape, not pity. I try to be nice and/or helpful and friendly to everyone, regardless, btw.

My (in real life) relatives in their 90s have the best attitudes of anyone I know, and do not need 'cheering up' they are usually cheering everyone else up.

By the way the same is true of the person I know who has the most physical hardship. And he has tons of friends, to show that it is what is inside that really counts the most.

It's one thing I like about Second Life - it's who you are INside that matters the most.

It sounds like you equate those things with needy or sad, Jig, but I am not sure that's how you meant it to sound.

Older generations lived through hell like the Great Depression and various wars. They are tougher than most of us will ever know.

You could make me a prim zimmer frame.

*laughs*

What, you don't think having Jig lump Pep in with "Older SLers" is enough of a blow?


^^ This.
.

No. Ihavent had sex with Pep. Lol. It would be like ... ew! Almost incestuous.

I'm just myself.....unless soneone chooses to reveal RL details to me, then I don't know who I'm helping or what kind of a difference I might be making.....but I operate under the assumption that anything is possible and all human beings have value......so in general I try not to be rude or unfriendly or give off negative vibes.

I've certainly run into folks who are either older then me.....or have disabilities....and they are always the nicest most genuine people I meet in SL. Older folks have had too much life experience to be bothered with any of the petty crap in SL.....and folks who have some kind of disability seem to have a good grasp on the idea that life is too short and uncertain for bullsh**....so have fun while ya can!

That's just been my experience thus far......if someone asks me for spacific help on something, then I do my best....it's not a matter of their RL situation....it's a matter of just being considerate and kind to other human beings.

Be careful that you don't offer charity affection. No one wants or needs that.

Though I am not nearly as ancient in RL as I let on sometimes, I can tell you I didn't really start enjoying social situations until I turned about 40. Wasn't really comfortable in my own skin until then.

I have noticed in myself the beginnings of a that older folks tendency to tell stories that probably bore younger people to tears. [Slides spectacles down his nose, squints over the top of them and pontificates, "When I was your age I saw The Who in concert, and they was wicked awesome!] Stuff like that.

Maybe just being patient with the elderly is all they need.

I know of one person in SL who tells outright his age (nearly 80) and hits on women like he is an 18 year old guy.

Stereotypes...made to be broken!

(Agreeing with Weston about 'no pity' and also about 'grownups can't resist telling a story.' LOL)

I'm Deaf IRL and would be a bit confused with a hearing person in SL assuming I needed their help. If I need help in RL or SL, I can ask for it. Good intentions aside, I would prefer to default assumption not be that a RL disability requires special treatment in SL. I think most people, regardless of their situation, prefer to be treated as individuals.

This is SL - we are ALL special snowflakes! /wink

heh I'd take some of that charity affection... from Jig (but then I'd feel guilty)

Sort of -- my mom and her husband are both retired and on very limited incomes. She has come to really enjoy SL and so I bought a 2048 plot for her to live on and I pay all tier associated with it.

That's fantastic, LittleMe!

It must be nice (anyone) to have family in SL with you sometimes, people you get along with IRL I mean. My mom is still figuring out how to work the dvd player (and she's not stupid at all very smart but tech stuff isn't her thing) but having her be a neighbor in SL would be a blast.

Surely on sl there are no boundaries in age and that attitude is condecending and not needed, I have met both young and old people and count both as my friends and both get treated equally, after all age has no meaning in sl does it ????
Disability or age or any other issue should not be of relkevance rl and defiantly not in sl, we are all equal and have the same ability on here, if someone is down we cheer them up and support them,

It is really a lot of fun. My mom and I were not close for many years, but we are now and I like sometimes chatting in SL with her. We do almost nothing together in SL - we have totally separate circles of friends and activities.

However, even after being here more than a year, I am still often telling her some of the same simple things over and over again - but I don't really mind.

/me nods. Yes. I hear that. Lol And no, we don't mind cos it's our moms.

Sounds like fun.

Well, yes and no. There is a cultural generation gap. Less so now than when I was young, but it is inevitable. That doesn't make the older person handicapped or in need of help, though I used to think so. I always wondered why older people never could grasp all the things that were important to us baby boomers. But I'm older now and realize, my brain is already full of what's important to me, and I have no room or patience left for new pop culture.

For instance, someone in my office was talking about "Beyonce" yesterday. (Not sure I'm spelling that right.) I had no idea what they were talking about and furthermore just didn't care. I do gather she's another pop diva with a navel or some such.

Anyway - there's a cultural gap that will be glaringly obvious. Doesn't mean you can't be friends or even lovers. But it is a handicap to the relationship..

This^^

I was at a very populated/busy jazz club one night and someone either new to SL or new to clubs or perhaps jazz clubs arrived. He shouted "HI" a few times and then after not getting any response (in open chat at least), he said, "So, is everyone here old? I'm 19."

Way to make friends.....not!

For the record I have never met, nor even IM'd Jig outside these forums.

Pep (has better taste.)

PS It's no secret I am 55 in rl; nor that I look 20 years younger.

Better taste? Dear me, Pep, its not worth rising to that one.
I dont think Pep has ever visited my open houses/galleries in Chaska and I have never spoken to him in IM in sl.
I imagined you a 55. Such an awkward age. Men at 55 always seem galoompy. Like old wellington boots. Soon they start the real downward slide.

Well Pop Culture is never "new" but more a contination of yesterday and day before. Lol "pop diva with a navel"!! LOL! Check out Lady Gaga. Also listen to come decent Coldplay - "Viva La Vida" maybe. BBC Radio 1 is a gentle way for "uninitiated" to experience pop - you can hear it on web. Try Snow Patrol or Lily Allen or The Killers. Lotsa choices. Or even more classically inclined like Sons de la Frontera (recent Spanish flamenco group) or some World Fusion.
Never turn your back on what is new or exciting. The passport/visa control for enjoying modern pop culture is not stamped with "date expired". Seriously, one of my friends who is a really old man is truly swiched on to pop and attendant culture values.
Young people dont bite.

Not really meaning to ge into my own thread discussion on this one but I do think age has a meaning here and in no way am I meaning to condescend. I understand how age can be a detractor for people. Many older people in real feel uncomfortable round younger people like myself and - truthfully - one can tell age quite easily in sl. Men who call me "dear" are very sweet and charming (and is RARE to be a "dear" in real). I dont think any man of my generation has called me that (unless he implies I am expensive to take out).
Yes, age has meaning here. SL acts like a transitional point for interaction. No, I dont think we are all equal. I think that is an assumption we really cant make. Our world experiences can never be submerged. Anyway, let's see what others say...

Guilt? No need for that.

well I'd just hate to think I was depriving other needy residents

but if you say there's plenty of you to go around, how about I rise to pep's barb, and try the Jig taste test challenge =) (I don't care what they say, some pixels ARE tastier than others)


ETA:
@Soar
I didn't read it as condescension, but a practical observation that the higher the generational divide, the less likely a person is to be familiar with both modern computing and web cultural because they didn't grow up with it and aren't as exposed to it. it is a largely different social construct, with it's own culture and etiquette that can make for a steep learning curve and lots of misunderstandings and negative perceptions... much like taking a rural farmer and dropping them in a large city in a different country or vice versa... the person isn't likely to immediately understand the language, culture, or expectations, and they have a steep learning curve.... doesn't make them stupid, only ignorant, which can be erased with experience and knowledge.