Having a baby in SL

What is the deal with people having babies in SL? I really hate feeling like a bigot but wtf? Of all the things in SL that I find strange, this just strikes me as the most bizarre. I know some really fantastic people who've done this and I don't feel differently about them, but just the thought of them going through the "motions" makes me shudder.

Do they roleplay it out? Do they roleplay their period beforehand and the post natal depression afterward? Do they actually get another player to roleplay their child? How does all of this work?

I'd really love to hear from people who have done it. Please please don't hammer me. I'm asking the questions so that I might get a better understanding. I acknowledge my ignorance, I don't embrace it.


****I should mention that I am a woman but that the whole idea of actually having a baby in real life makes me feel really uncomfortable.. so much so that the word "birth" makes me cringe. I hate hearing about it and I will never touch the stomach of a woman who is pregnant no matter how "wonderful" feeling a baby kick inside her might be. Perhaps I just have no maternal instinct, though I do love playing with babies and small children. *shrug* ****

Perhaps they're infertile in RL and it's the closest they'll ever get to the real thing?

Perhaps they want to play house-and-family with their SL partner?

Perhaps they're doing it just because they're curious to see how it works in SL, or for a lark?

I don't know anyone who's done this, but these are a few reasons that popped into my head on reading your question. But to get a "real" answer you'd have to ask someone who's done it.

She is asking!

People roleplay all kinds of things in the virtual world - why not this as well? I say live and let live - what floats one persons boat does not float anothers necessarily. If you don't really understand why someone would want one to then you probably are going to "get it" at all regardless of how much explanation is given.

Just my .2cents

EDIT: And yes I have done this is SL for roleplay reasons. My partner and I were playing out a fantasy life - why should birth not be a part of that?

I was once constipated in RL and so I role played having a poo. I guess it's kinda similar to that.

But there wasn't a man around to hold my hand.

Oh, and I didn't hold my poo after. eww!

<Thread closed>

the only reason i can think of it is the infertile one. Sl is a place where as one prolific poster put it in a nutshell:" i can be whoever i want". if someone wants to "have a baby" in Sl then go for it. i don't see the appeal either, but thats their choice. and like nimbus said, it could be because they cannot have one, or carry one to full term RL.

Just didn't want your last answer to be about poo.

You'll find that some people might be a little sensitive when it comes to their quirks in SL (if that's even a way to call all the different RPs there are). If something makes you uncomfortable in RL, I guess it would be the same in SL. To each his own, do as you wish...

People like to role play all kinds of things.
If you don't get it... move on! you'll find something that works for you!

I admit that when I first heard of this, my initial reaction was wtf, just like you. My second reaction was to strangle the mother whose tummy keeps talking to me.

However, I then talked to a guy that went thru this with his previous SL partner. She wanted to because she wanted them to be a family. He wanted to because he had never had his own children in RL and thought it might be an interesting experience.

I don't think it is quite as strange as I once did, but I still want to strangle every pregnant avi that has a tummy talker.

LOL,

You're sick.

I have to admit I get the same creepy crawly feeling when I encounter people with SL babies or kids. I don't relate....oh well.... I don't judge either...but I admit I am curious about what makes a person decide to do this.

I understand role play of course.....and there's obviously tons of sims dedicated to all sorts of role play.... 'do the voodoo that you do...to each their own... Not a big deal. Where it actually starts to 'bug' me.....is when I encounter a person or family unit or whatever who are role playing the whole parent child thing.....and they drag me into it. For example.....I TP'd into a sim I visit regularly that is pg and not role play.....it's a gthering place that is open armed to anyone. When I landed I inadvertantly bumped a child avatar who was with their parent avatar.....but they hadn't rezzed for me yet so I didn't know it.

Moments later...after I had seated myself....I get an IM from mommy... scolding me for bumping her little girl and not apologizing. I handled it with diplomacy and played right into her fantasy and aplogized porfusely....and that was fine. During the course of the next 15 minutes or so the mother and child were engaging many of the folks in their fantasy...the child was acting up and the mom was reprimanding.....nothing over the top....just what you might expect. My problem with that scenerio....is not so much that people do it......it's that I'm not in it to role play....I am myself....I do not like to be looped into someone elses fantasy.....having to play along so their little world is seamless.

I wont be rude.....tho I often have to hold my tongue because things come into my head that I'd love to say....but I would never deliberately offend anyone. It just plain annoys me when I am made to feel like I am part of a role play scenerio and I honestly have no interest in it. It makes me uncomfortable....not because I am judging them....but because they are assuming something about me.... and they're wrong. Homey don't play that. LOL

I don't care if it's happening around me.... I don't care what anyone does to entertain themselves here.....but I don't pretend to be anything other than myself in terms of the way I communicate with people.... it's just hard for me to take that stuff seriously and play along....and one of these days I'm gonna slip and say something I don't mean to because I will 'forget' I'm supposed to 'pretend' that's a 5yo asking mummy if she can please have that dwess and throws a tantrum while I'm trying to have a normal conversation with a friend in the same shop LOL yeah... I might snap. LOL

/me tosses these people a folder full of Adpotion Agency LMs. (^_^)

For some people *points at self* SL is full time role play. Breaking character is even more unnerving than it seems. Even for the people around us. I mean... Why not? We've had enough reality for the day and SL is a good dose of fantasy to begin with. How would you feel if the cutest little cherub waltzed right up to you and started cussing like a sailor and ran on about cigarette preferences? (o.o)

As for parents in SL? ... I don't need no momma! (>_<

My attitude on role-play in SL™ is this. If I'm on my own land, on Linden land, or on "third party" land obviously not dedicated to role-play (like a typical mall or some such), there should be no expectation that I'll play along. I still might depending on the situation, but if you *expect* me to play along, you might just be disappointed. Access to the SL™ main grid is supposed to be for adult human beings. I will think of you (and probably treat you) as such unless I have reason to believe otherwise.

On the other hand, being on land/sims that is obviously dedicated to role-play is whole different situation. I'll respect that. For instance one sim I've been visiting recently is dedicated to Dune role-play. I respected that and made sure to always put on the tourist titler and wear Dune related clothes when I visited. It's their land, their rules, and I didn't want to disturb anyone's fun.

--Hugsy

I am not preggers in RL. I LOVE playing a sexy mamma in SL though. See nothing wrong in it! But yes I've experienced haterade in SL.

Your world, your imagination.

Many people here are having their real second life, where in a life doesnt fit having a family?
People come in and meet people, establish relationships (friendship, love, hate, etc), families tend to form naturally, no matter age, race, geographic location, language, size, gender.

I have a wonderful sl family, and without them, my second life experience would not be the same as is now. What does it matter if some want to relive their childhood and have a kid avi?

Many rl children have unfortunatelly horrible childhoods, others on the contrary, have had the most wonderful ones, so, ones for one reason, others for others, they want to live a new childhood. Its their world, their imagination.
Based on the knowledge of them being adults in rl, why not rp and have the most fun while in sl?

I have been "pregnant" in sl 3 times now, I have 5 babies, and its difficult to explain the bond you form with the prim baby, probably the same one a girl gets with her dolls. I enjoy holding them, love to hear them coo, smile when they cry and I have to go hold them to make them quiet again.
I own a baby furniture store, starting building it when I was pregnant the first time and I couldnt find furniture that I liked, so I get in touch with a lot of pregnant women and they all tell me they are delighted going through the experience.
Maybe it would be nice if you came some time and you held one baby, you would probably then understand.

Yes, I know they're prims, but so is everything we play with in this world, and we all love our small universe. Our fantastic houses, our incredible bodies, our hability to fly, all of it is not really true, is it? But we grow attached to all of it.

I would suggest that when you listen to a girl asking her mommy to buy her a dress and feel the urge to say something nasty, to think that probably that kid av has a reason to be in such a shape. Being a kid in sl is as tough as being a kid in rl, and they deserve respect and shelter.

Many of the forum people have been lucky to meet a few sl kids, two of them being regular posters in here, they have come to respect and love who they are. But then again, its a matter of opening your mind and respect.

Hope you can IM inworld so I can invite you over to hold the babies.

I don't see anything wrong with people having babies in SL although it's not something I'm planning to do!! Considering the amount of stuff there is in SL to do with death and torture, I suppose having babies is at least something more positive!

I suppose having a virtual baby demands realism of timescale as well as momentary realism. Presumably there's a gestation period, then a birth then there's a pink noisy thing to look after for a long time. It's when a virtual baby becomes the substitute for an RL one that it gets a bit iffy.

Thanks for the offer Mila but Ill decline, I work all day with children. When I log into SL I do so to be with adults, over 18 year olds.
Just an observation but this seems to be a popular thread for avatars named milly...
Milli, Milla, Mily .... probably just a conincidence heh?

We all have our fantasies and like to act them out. In SL I have quite a nice home with s garden, but what I'd really like is my own private island. But there's no chance of that since my RL agents won't allow it.

So I go to an OpenSim Standalone island to act out my island fantasy. Even we avatars need an escape!

I did it. I HAD to try it. Personally, for me, it was the biggest waste of L's spent. There's absolutely nothing wrong if people want to do it. I love roleplaying, I do it a lot.

However, giving birth to a baby that looked like a cabbage patch kid just didn't do it for me LOL.

I agree with everyone

SL let's us all do things and be things we couldn't in RL.. and to be honest lets us repeat experiences we've already had in RL.

I've often wondered actually, given that there are people who like to RP being pregnant and having children, and the people who like to RP being children.. is there an adoption agency in SL?

I'm assuming there is because I see many virtual families with "Parents" and "Children".

If so then do the people who RP as children ever consider taking that to the nth degree and RP as a foetus, all the way through birth, baby.. infant?

Just interested ..

You can always pay another to have the baby for you, a surrogate mom type thing. This way you get to keep your figure and won't have to deal with cramps and cravings yourself. When baby grows up you can choose to tell him or not who birth mom was.

You're so cruel to your sl child. He/she will grow up with a complex because of you.

Perhaps even become a RL customer of yours. As dad used to say, "If that's your bag, get into it". That's pretty much the point of SL, to do stuff that maybe you can't do in RL. At least until IBM takes over.

I don't feel strongly one way or another. I think its nice that people want to RP families in SL, and it is nice that they can have the chance if they can't/don't have their own kids in RL.
I don't think it is the sort of thing I could do though either...RP a pregnancy.
Though I do hate the talking tummies...I don't need that xxx needs to pee becasue baby xxx is sitting on her bladder. ew.

But then, RPing with a prim baby and prim tummy is totally different in my view to RPing with a child avvie as a family. I really like the idea of this sort of family. I think it is sweet.

"An" adoption agency? I know of 6. Even without being a member of any of them, I'm usually getting an adoption offer a week. (^_^)

Oh... And there's a friend of mine who's been..... busy..... (O.O)


(^_^)y