Appology to ALL involved

One of those bipolar jerks that also resents SL perhaps.

OMG Alexa how horrible. This is got to be one of the worst possible scenarios we could ever have to deal with in this virtual world of ours. Even though to my knowledge we have yet to cross paths in SL, please accept my hugs and support and hope that your SL friends will be there for you.

Hugs ... Jess

Alexa, I know you'd never be one to spout off verbal abuses like that. Thank heavens you got the account back! I'm glad there was someone there that could set things right for you! You are a good friend and I am saddened when I see people do things like this to others. I'm just glad you're okay and the account is relatively intact. I look forward to seeing you back in-world as your cheery self!

Have a great day and smile...yer too nice a person for this to happen to.

As a person who, in RL, has an ex-wife with bipolar disorder, I can assure you that the distinction between "jerk" and "sick/disabled" is sometimes difficult to maintain.

Restraining orders and messed up kids in the wake of what was usually driven by a refusal to take medications as prescribed, makes it easy to label her on the "jerk" side of that line.

In any event, I empathize with Alexa's original post. Your true friends will be able to figure out quickly enough that the venom spewed by way of your hacked account wasn't you.

- Ace

I had a historic relationship with a woman that can only be described as being on a rollercoaster of emotions. Later it was divulged to me that she was Bi-Polar.. in the begining, after the relationship was finished, I found hard to come to terms with what exactly that meant, or the ramifications of how it effects so many people around them, especially those close to them, until I educated myself.

I feel sorry for those that suffer the infliction and I wouldn't class them as jerks or anything else... normally jerks are consistant.. whereas those suffering Bi-Polar issues, have little, if any, control over the roller coaster of emotional outbursts/swings. Medication helps to stabalize the situation, however on the 'good days' they can, start to believe they are cured and stop taking the medication.

I have since come into contact with several other people that are suffers, I only know this, because I 'see' the actions/reactions of them during normal conversations, as ask them in private, if they are a sufferer. Most of whom will tell you outright that they are. Providing you wish to accept that for what it is, and can deal with the day to day fluctuations, then they are just like anyone else... Humans with a medical condition which does NOT automatically make them jerks.. no more or less, than someone who is missing a limb.

My take on the jerk/ Mentally Ill discussion.


Jerks are defined by their actions, what they do and say.

Medical conditions are medical conditions.

Its possible to be both. Its also possible that someone is a jerk becuase of behaviour that was induced by a medical condition.

Its not that they arent a jerk becuase its a sickness, its that they are a jerk becuase they are sick.

People on Meds for depression, anxiety and bipolar disorder often go off their meds, becuase the side effects .. well .. pretty much suck.

Whilst I agree with your anology as a cold and perhaps technical perspective... my point was that not everyone with an illness can be, or should be automatically be classed as a jerk... jerks for the most part do very well without any other issues to drive them... none of which will make me feel less sympathetic to anyone dealt a short straw by nature.

Had you Known about your partners condition in the early stages of your relationship, it is conceivable that it would Still be going on. Knowing what your partner is going through puts you a long way towards Coping, and even assisting them in Dealing with their illness. The Impact of Erratic mood swings would have had a less damaging effect simply because you would have known what was going on. As things stood, All you saw at the time was someone being Difficult or hurtful for no apparent good reason.

On your partners side, there is ALWAYS the fear of telling someone you are developing an emotional bond with That you Suffer from an Imbalance that can Effect your emotional equalibrium. There is a massive amount of prejudice in our society even today against anyone suffering any form of mental illness, and they simply don't want to Risk a Good relationship by suddenly having their prospective partner recoil from them as though they were Dangerous, Unclean, or Contageous. i Know people who Suffer, bipolar Disorder, Turettes (sp), Scizophrenia, and i have One dear freind (Or several depending upon how you look at it) who suffers from MPD. Each of these people is in treatment, or on medications and are able to lead Very normal lives, and it's terrible to see people treat them like Freaks, But it happens.

There's no Clear Cut Etiquette in Dealing with this situation, because everyones Lives and attitudes are different, But the Situation WOULD be much easier to Solve if people Did educate themselves more about mental Illnesses, their causes, symptoms, and treatments. We have to get Past the societal taboo that prevents us from dealing openly and fairly with persons who have mental illnesses.

Angel

(Sonia's boyfriend; Xio Jester speaking: )

I second that...I'm a bipolar psychotic mix, on more prescription drugs than Iggy Pop ever was, so I can testify to that. Bipolar ain't "an bad attitude" or somethin...if it was, we would be able to "snap out of it".

It feels more like a flu or whatever, in that you might WANT to "be normal", but without the right meds to regulate your behavior...well at least from my experience, and what doctors have told me, it's impossible.

This guy could stand to go to a therapist regularly and get on at least a mood inhibitor to lessen the severity of his symptoms...which would at least (over a period of time) enable him to realize when he's being irresponsible or worse.

My mama is bipolar too, to the point where folks can hardly even talk to her, because she's hypersensitive, and her mind turns regular conversations into a series of false insults and threats at random times...so having been on both sides of the spectrum I feel for you alright. Ain't nothin nice, no sir.

Good luck in the future.

My post had nothing to do with being unsympathetic.

Just that if you are sick and act a certain way - it does not mean the way you acted didnt happen. Still happened reguardless of the reason for it.

Also having a emotional disorder is not the same as being subjected to mind control. Its not like you are looking out through your own eyes but being pulled by puppet strings. Its still choices made. You may "care" a lot less about the consequences becuase of being ill, but it doesnt mean you are incapable of considering the results of your actions.

Being schitzophrenic or phychotic is different of course. But we were discussing someone who is bipolar.

awww i didnt get an abusive im i feel left out

Maybe take out a classified personal ad?

hey thats a great idea!
not sure how to ensure it will attract abusive im's though. maybe come off like a gold-digger? or holier-than-thou? oooh maybe a racist!

Try being nice.


Works for me. All kinds of annoying people IM me ..

Or Post here, Guaranteed someone will get around to abusing you, but you have to wait your turn like everyone else.

Angel.

I had a bipolar boss once... THAT is scary. One week he'd be throwing hundreds of dollars at any charity that comes his way, and the next week he'd be throwing his computer against the wall. It was a really bad work environment.

Dearly Darling,

Make sure your divorce lawyer knows of this incident. Illness aside, I consider this a form of stalking and when someone is so obviously ill, it is not a big step to translating this behavior outside the game. Be careful and be smart. You have a lovely afternoon.

Ever Yours,

Mrs. Showdog Tiger

It's not always a matter of being able to make a choice, it's a matter of making a reasonable decision. The decisions made can seem very reasonable at the time.

Omg I am sorry to laugh at that one honey, but just had too. I'm not bipolar but would still love to throw my computer at the wall more often then not.

This comment was meant to be fun, not insult anyone. I have many friends that are also bipolar and it is not fun for anyone concerned. Many of them have died because they went off their meds or believed what their mind was telling them.

Its not like hed go:

"Im going to go through her SL account and yell at her freinds, shell understand"

Its more that he wouldnt care about the consequences. The person KNEW he would upset the OP. The only "reasonble" about it was he likely felt that she should care more about him then them, no matter what he did.

Now again Im only talking about someone bipolar. A Pshychotic person, or someone dealing with other issues that distort their perception of reality is different.

Someone who is Bipolar when they are on the negatvie swing becomes angry, self destructive, unconcerned for their own well being, dismissive of their worth as a person, etc. They dont think that up is down and red is blue.

I feel plenty of compassion for people with serious, mind-altering mental conditions. My heart goes out to both parts of this couple. The offending guy is going to have a far worse life than the victimized lady, after the divorce is over.

NEVERTHELESS, if the guy has volition and knows what is socially right and wrong, regardless of his rationalizations or impulses, he still needs to recognize he is responsible for his choice of actions, even if he is not responsible for his impulses. So doesw everyone else.

This is an important distinction. I can't judge from this distance how much volition the guy has/had. But volition exists. If he chose to "punish" her in spite of the social, ethical and legal sanctions he knows exist in the world he actually is living in, he has to expect to experience the consequences of doing that. I'm sorry, but "the Devil made me do it" may be an explanation, but it is not an excuse,nor does it abolish intolerable actions.

Meanwhile the lady is not obligated to sacrifice her life and the lives of children she has or may have, and the lives of others who are close enought to be seriously affected by what happens to her - like parents and siblings - to the demands of this guy's mental illness.

There are times when you have to make a choice of what you have to give up. And sick people are still morally responsible for their actions as long as they know that the actions are socially wrong.

Pity does not justify license.

I understand completely what you are saying. I have firsthand knowledge of bipolar disorder seeing that I attend a support group every week. You don't have to read between the lines there.

I guess I didn't make my statement clear. I wasn't implying that a bipolar person would try to fly off a building and think it's logical. As you stated, bipolars are not psychotic.

An example of what I'm saying is that a friend of mine wasn't getting the service she felt she deserved at Wal-Mart. As a result she stood up on the glass countertop and started singing at the top of her lungs. Only much letter was she able to come off her mania and understand that was not a proper way to deal with the situation. At the time it made perfect sense to her to handle it in that manner.

You are also right that he was likely unconcerned about the consequences, but most likely he felt justified at the time.

I am not condoning any and all behavior. It's very similar to what is stated in Alcoholics Anonymous...We may not be at fault but we are responsible for our actions.

I agree with this.

Action: Lock
Source: AR
Reason: Private Discussion, Disclosure (CS) & Off-Topic

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