Thoughts on the, what happens in SL stays in SL mentality.

I was just curious about this sort of mentality, the whole double life thing in SL. Does this work for people? Can they really seperate SL from their RL. I don't know, call me a total nerd, but everyone I know is aware that I sit some 6-8 hours a day at my computer in SL maintaining my shops and the like. I am not a big social butterfly in either life. So maybe I don't fall into this demographic.

But what is this all about, the whole stays in SL thing. Is this a fetish type of thing? Is that what is going on? Maybe I am uber liberal, but I have done far kinkier things in my RL than I ever did in SL. I even worked as a professional S&M master for a few years in RL, did gay porn to put me through university, so anything that will happen in SL will pale in comparison to that. I mean that was almost 15 years ago now, so it isn't really a fresh memory I have. But everyone I know in RL knows this about me, and I don't really care.

Maybe I just stand alone on this, but I don't care who thinks what about my life and how I live it, I have zero secrets, lol, obviously.

Just gethering thoughts on this, feel free to comment.

Most people separate their work life from their home life. Most people don't tell their partners about their fantasies about their neighbours. Most people don't share all their hobbies or interests with their partners. So what is so different about keeping offline activities tactfully secret?

Pep (What you don't know about can't hurt you)

well I have been accused of having 'no filter' many times in my life, lol, I will pretty much say whatever pops into my head, to anyone around me, lol

Not everyone has the luxury of being as free and open concerning their hobbies as you have, you are lucky. Some come to SL to explore things that if revealed could cause them problems if found out, sadly. There are small minded people out there. But for some it is also about personal safety, or for me, just a matter of preference.

Fantasies are not as easily acted out on FL as they would be in SL. RL has too many complications. Many things would cause people to keep their sl in sl only, family, embarrassment, religion.

What SL does do tho is give you an inside look of what society might look like if humanity as a whole was not so Conservative minded.


Its interesting to observe how giving and loving some people are while others will slice open your gut, just to see whats inside.


But I found that there are not real rules to sl, Just acceptable behavior. Its very much like real life in many respects, the one difference is whats considered acceptable behavior in sl is much much more liberal then in real life. But one things stands out more then anything, and thats the fact that people from all over the world are generally good loving caring souls that only want to share that positive energy with outher people.

welcome to the game of greed and drama, produced and directed by Linden Lab.

I suffer from this too! Forthright, liberal and frank. All attributes that can be a pain on ocassion ;P

The only thing that really bothers me about the 'keep it seperate' crowd is when they then get involved in relationships. Feelings are real, and for as long as you keep people at arms distance they'll never truly know you - that's not a relationship, that's playing with somebodies heart. It's toying with them, and it's cruel, because the only possible end is one of utter heart break.

I've seen it enough times in SL, the 'keep it seperate' person dissapears after getting too close, the relationship runs ahead of them and they cant pull out before damage is done.

Whatever the motive: RL married; Playing in an alternate gender; hiding uncomfortable RL truths. The result is the ultimately the same.

For the most part i'm liberal enough to say whatever floats your boat, and i've no general issue with those who want to come to SL just to play, but I do find it personally uncomforting to sit quitly on the sidelines when I see relationships developing with such persons knowing full well that a friend is on the fast track to getting hurt.

In my case SL stays in SL in the sense that noone I know in RL knows about me being in SL. Well other than my flatmate since both our computers are in the same room.. That being said, I don't have a need to keep SL and RL all that separate, as there are people in SL only finances stop from me meeting in RL.

Keeping SL seperatedoesn't mean you have to trod on other people's feelings. You do have to take extra cautions, but otherwise it can be done.

SL is a safe way to explore fantasies. In these disease and crime ridden days, I would never really do a lot of the scenarios I act out in SL. Having this safe avenue may keep someone from trying something dangerous in real life.

don't lead a double life. problem solved.

That's so funny, I think we would have far too much to say if we ever met, lol And yeah, it has been touch and go for me a few times too. But my friends expect it now, my odd comebacks to total strangers and the like.

And no, as somebody mentioned, this does not give anyone the right to be mean, that's not why I am like this. Not to be mean, although you probably don't want to get me too mad, I can be quite the mirror for some people, grin

heh yeah me too

I think this describes a good portion of the regular posters on the forums

we tend to say it like we see it, let the chips fall where they may and clean up later

Says the girl with 100 alts.

Just teasing 3.

Well i stand besides you as we run a RL BDSM profile website and use SL to advertise said site. I have my email address in my profile and even have an alt of Iain Sullivan that is my real name lol For me i am like you i don't give a rats arse who knows me as i have nothing to hide, i fall on the brutally honest side of the fence

But i can understand for some they have reasons to keep RL out of SL and i will always respect that for them. I have male friends here that play female avies and while we are in SL i treat them as i would any woman as thats what they want to be when they play SL. So i suppose baseline its horses for courses

I've found I can't really separate them, not emotionally. There may be many facets to my mind and my personality, but not my heart.

However, I only share RL details with close friends, and am happy to engage in casual friendships on whatever level of disclosure the other party is interested in (i.e. I don't need to know anyone's RL location/gender/marital status, but I don't mind knowing if they want to talk about it).

He's actually talking to his friend who suggested he turn off the tracks saying: "If I can't beat it on the flat what chance have I got on rough ground?"

Pep (Dumb kid)

I don't discuss all areas of my life in other areas, SL is not much different. My internal sensor comes from living among too many fundamentalist minded people, so I try not to tweak them too much... it's polite and saves me grief.

Emotionally it's impossible for me to seperate the two, I'd never even try. Relationship-wise I date when where and whom I can, so SL can't be more than an extension of that. Non-exclusivity makes my life easy all the way around... I feel for the people that are stuck in serially monogamist relationships.

Yeah, add a few alts and lead quadruple or more lives instead.

My kind of person

An author doesn't have to become a Cowboy to write Western Novels, nor does she have to become a hooker to write about "Saloon Girls".

My Avatars are fictional characters, whose adventures I write in real-time, like improvizational theatre. They aren't me, any more than Louis Lamour was any of his characters in his Western stories. So keeping SL and RL seperate are easy for me.

But..... what if I decided that I like beastiality? I just don't think my friends or husband would understand.

Mine is mostly split. RL stays in my RL, SL stays in my SL. There is *some* crossover, but I try to keep a lot of it separate. When Im in SL, I dun wanna jes be RL me, nor do I wanna deal with RL mes stuff. When I'm in RL, I'm not a six-year-old, neither.

Mari

Lamour led a much more interesting life than any of his characters.