Relationship called Quits

I agree one should take a break and find other things till the hurt has passed. I personally know a guy in sl who broke up with my best friend this past February. He has been a partnered at least 3 times. Engaged, Lord I lost track how many times. I keep telling him do like me take a break and find other things to do. He is a mega estate owner and builds, so he has other activities in sl he can focus on. But for some reason he has this need to be partnered/married.

I understand how it can be "lonely" in sl and how one wants a companion to do things with. But at the same time, if you don't work through the baggage from the broken relationship (regardless of what life you are in) surely you will have seepage into the new one.

My previous relationship ended about this time last year. I spent several months being by myself and eventually started dating again. I did not go into dating a guy thinking oooo I want to partnered. To the contrary, they wanted to partner but I didnt. Simply because I wasn't willing to take the chance with my heart.

Like someone said things move so rapidly in sl and I wanted to take my time. Often I see, within 2 weeks people marry/partner/divorce/de-partner when the allure wears off. I did not want to be that way. My fiance will be married at the end of this month. When that date arrives, we would've been engaged for 2 months. I believe that time has given us both an opportunity to still see if this is what we want before rushing to the altar and throwing away money on a wedding.

So take a break and don't try to find yourself as you were never lost. But, REDISCOVER yourself. You will be glad that you did.

Beautifully said, Pie. I may just print this out and stick it on my mirror.

That's a good goal/ideal but let's face it, most people are struggling at some point in their lives, either before or after they meet the person they are with. Very few people have perfectly fulfilled lives.

Only way I can think to avoid it, is NOT to do SL relationships at all. On the other hand...if it's something you are seriously pursuing using SL as a vehicle.....take a break....re-assess what you're looking to get out of it in the first place.....focus on making genuine 'friends'. More often than not.....the right relationship hits us out of left field anyway. Seeking it in earnest is usually a direct path to heart break because we make ourselves way too vulnerable and eager.

I, personally, don't do SL romance at all....but on the very real human level....that is the advice I'd give anyone who's been thru a break up. Step back...focus on making yourself happy....don't seek fulfillment from others. Once you are happy and strong and truly content as a single individual....you will attract mates much more suited to you....who are equally confident and happy. Ultimatley...two happy single people will have a lot more to give toward building a happy romance....then two 'unhappy' desperate people can even hope to achieve.

Amen to that. Mine hit me out of left field.

Ah boy, I'm sorry to hear this. Is 9 months the lifespan for a LTR in SL? (That was my cutoff too)

All I can say...is guard your heart. And don't rush into your next one.

I'd suggest even going a step further, and check your heart at the door on the way in.

Thats a bit messy though,

Professionals use Coleman coolers.

My partner and I have been partnered in SL for just about 3 years now. We were friends for 2 years before that. But I've always been a little atypical.

I've had relationships in SL last from a matter of weeks to as long as 2 years. One actually lasted 3 years through 3 different online worlds. But then again we are a poly BDSM family and the ever changing and flowing dynamics of family life tend to keep us together. The ones that only lasted a short time just couldn't deal with being in a poly relationship or the BDSM lifestyle, even tho they thought they could. I guess I'm one of the lucky ones here.

I already do that. She's my "model", she's my "target" and she's just there. Perfect companion!!! Doesnt say anything, doesnt beg for money, doesnt require shopping every 10 minutes.

um, yeah, that works.




A relationship is a relationship and while online has a few more potential pitfalls, any relationship can fail for any number of reasons, and if you make yourself completely responsible for the other person's happiness in the relationship it will fail even faster - RL or SL. If you are going to get involved with someone in SL, treat it as delicately and as precious as you would in RL, but with a bit more caution tossed in.

Speaking from experience, i did just that.. I dove into content creation. and that my friend makes ME happy.

...and don't ever try to go back, thinking "this time we can make it work". You can't. If you could, you would not have broken up in the first place.

Um, give First Life a try?

yes it hurts always does.. do i have advice.. no.....My only contribution is been in deep and been hurt when she broke away.. been in deep and caused hurt when i broke away...now in comfortable and i think we both understand where we are...Not giving everything .. but giving enough to be fun.

I have close friends that I care very much, that I just trust that are
non-sexual relationships but what I do in world is around solo
activities and creating. It just easier and less stressful that way.
I still get stressed out sometimes when making things and it doesn't
seem to be working the way I wish but the head and heart ache
isn't as intense.
Rarely have I had sexual or romantic relationship in SL and
when I have it been boring, expensive or difficult and it
adds unnecessary drama.
I resent that I have this pressure to be sexual as guy in SL
or RL to be real man.
You have value regardless if you're coupled.
It stupid flesh based culture stuff that annoys me most around this
type of stuff
Some how unless I have this required fantasy I have forced fed in flesh
based realities that come over here that seem to be shoved
from day one that I don't have couple thing going
something is wrong with me.
It's BS. I can have friends and I do.
I have people who care about me and don't require me to
be romantic or sexual, the other stuff is just pain in pixel or flesh
rear end.
Yet what I want to do is do other things like be creative rest
is just sort of annoying distractions.
What helps me avoid it is this how I think about things
majority of guys or gals out there who are looking for this that
I might met I am nothing more then tool for masturbation,
fantasy, they don't know the real life me, will never know the real
life me and if they did there would be tons of unwanted drama.
Coupling is pain in back side regardless of the reality and often
disappointing.
They don't need me to get off really. Sex is great for others
and romance is fun for whole lot of people but not for me.
People don't want me, they want a fantasy on pose ball.
I don't want to be in charge of someone else's happiness, I can
barely manage my own personal happiness.
Most of those romantic relationships are incredibly selfish and
based on fantasy role I just don't have energy to play with.
I don't get romance.
It just seems like stupid drama.
I repeat this or similar reasons why I avoid this often to remind me how much I don't want the above, say whatever to yourself enough you actually start to believe it and
then focus on other things. Get really ugly avatar.
If it is essential for me think of ways I can have what I am missing in first life
so it isn't important that I have it here.
Yet if I assume if one is looking for it here and not in real life there are real
reasons why one doesn't want it first life and having it here
isn't going to make certain people emotionally immune from the emotional drama
if it doesn't work out well.
Someone going to get hurt and it will lead to disappointment unless
it all about the sex and you are great with just be kept in roleplay and
no unwanted drama involved in all who are involved.
Who want the downside of romance if they were thinking about it
logically or even in RPG sense?
The brain can't tell which emotions are roleplay only. At least mine can't.
There is nothing with being sexual or romantic but personally it just seems
to cause too many problems at least for me.
If that is what you want great but not everyone wants to deal with their
heart being broken or finds it recreational activity to do here.

Do not give up. The right person *will* come along eventually. Perseverance.

But not necessarily in SL.

very insightful.. and pretty true

There y'are. Fixed it for you.

Pep (But more likely as you get more desperate)

ah..don't ask me, I am walking relationship disaster. The last girl I got hooked into was in what she called an open sl relationship. How does that work? Well apparently you get to see other people but nothing more...if u get what i mean. Durr am I missing something here? Anyone care to elaborate? Should I walk away very fast and find a friend to reach through chat and give me a extra size wedgie for not listening to them in the first place?

Found the residents comments concise, funny and correct, but it still doesn't stop the pain of messing up yet again. Am currently searching for the trappist monk sect to hide myself away in for a very long time and play with my inventory.

down dog