Avatar Social Skills: Got 'em? If so, how?

In non-virtual life, my social skills are pretty decent. The least you could say is that I know better than to climb up on a table during a meeting.

But in Second Life...

Inworld, I interact with people every day--but these interactions are 99.99% IMing. My passion is building, so I've never been all that interested in going to clubs or gatherings. Thus I've never really thought about acquiring an animations HUD or such. The only meetings I've sat in have taken place in an ampitheather, where just sitting still with the avatar-default is basically okay.

But day before yesterday, I did need to attend a meeting in which a small number of avatars sat around a small table...and OMG!

First of all, my hands wouldn't go back down after I said anything (I've never bothered to turn off the typing animation). There I sat, looking like a dog begging for a Milkbone---which would have been okay had I been wearing a cocker spaniel avatar. But the human version just looked lame.

So I figured this might be distracting (besides which my self-esteem was wounded). So I figured, hmn, maybe a discreet, not-too-extreme Gesture will get my avatar out of this Dog-Begging pose....and I activated an old reliable smile gesture.

WELL, my avatar sank down into the chair, just my head sticking out, smiling. This was certainly more distracting than the dog-begging pose, so I clicked on Stand....and climbed on top of the table! And because the Gesture was still running I had trouble walking off; there was quite a little delay.

Everyone was very gracious about my apologies....I walked around and Sat again. And sure enough, there was the Dog Begging for Milkbone pose again.

So this time I thought, hmn, maybe a 'sit' animation will do the trick....it will override the hands thing and I'll look like an avatar with decent social skills......

But....you guessed it. Another Social Skills disaster: the minute I activated the Sit animation, my avatar slid into sitting position, alright....in the middle of the table. With just my head sticking out.

Now you bet that this would be perfect for a séance; just plop a transparent Sphere over my head and I'm good to go for the Spirit in the Crystal Ball!

But for the purposes of being a serious Socially Skilled avatar participating in a serious meeting......not so good.

So this time when I Stood, I moved forward to the avatar sitting opposite, and my prim attachments on the lower part of my body got tangled somehow with her prim hair, and....I stood there, her head in my crotch, for endless, agonizing seconds until I could both stop laughing and get myself off. Off of her, I mean, not that other thing you may have been thinking.

Again, a useful sequence to remember if I ever decide to open a lesbian dance club, but NOT so useful in a serious meeting.



In conclusion: yes, this WAS the most embarrassing hour of my SL life so far.

And NO, I know I won't find time to hang around clubs and ask people how they got their Avatar Social Skills.

I'm taking the shortcut...asking you. Any quick tips!?!!?

LOL! I don't think you need any tips, just carry on keeping your sense of humour. You probably broke the ice in that meeting wonderfully.

That is a very kind way of looking at it!

(I genuinely am rather embarrassed, but at the same time I know I probably won't put in the time to be a more Smooth Avatar. Self-knowledge is an important part of life...)



Oh, I forgot to say: another thing I did actually try while in that meeting was to turn off the Typing animation, but that didn't affect the Dog Begging pose...my guess was that the change wouldn't take effect until I re-logged in, and I didn't want to leave the meeting to do that.

I have no social skills. Which I will now reveal by noting that I'm laughing so hard I can't see clearly. See, no social skills.

Ack, now you say that you are rather embarrassed, so my response looks even worse. Now I'm embarrassed.

I now return to just meowing and running around naked in hangouts, not the kind you might normally think to find someone meowing and running around naked (crawling fast, not actually running).

(oh good, double posted. Embarrased even more, forum social skills lacking. I can't merge them together as it would look very odd.)

No, no. It's perfectly possible to be horribly embarrassed and prostrate with laughter at one and the same time. (I'm living proof!)

Repeat that scene in denim micro shorts and "X" pasties and you got a pretty normal day for me. =^-^=

A warning that this should not be read around people who don't know what you're up to would have been helpful- as i am in my office trying not to laugh to loudly.

I have neer participated in a male makeover other than to take a noob or two skin shopping so I am not really prepared to offer you LM's- however, it is my understanding there is a Male Makeover hunt going on right now that might be of interest to you- wander on over to the Undying Thread and ask there- there are some gents participating. I do have some newbie male kits in inventory- if you wish, drop me an IM in inworld and i shall send it along this evening . Good luck.

Yes, I agree, very funny. Almost to the point of tearing up here.

Just take it in stride and laugh. It's SL, and people have come to expect the faux pas, even when they become chronic. Or, if they haven't, they soon will.

I've found that you can fix the "hands stuck out" pose by just typing and backspacing a bit sometimes. Sometimes, the "Stop All Animations" World menu item will work. Other times, playing a high-priority torso+ animation will fix it. If all else fails, you may have to relog to clear it. Sounds like you tried a bunch of different things, but it ended up just being Another Day In SL(tm) for you.

To prove this can happen to the "best" of people ...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bE1PMdcmfBQ

freeze this at 4.24 ... just what is M Linden doing?

It does make for a funny story, you have to admit!

However, I think it's low on the social skills problem. You didn't do it on purpose, and I'm sure everyone there realized there was something going wrong with your A/O or something. We all have those problems.

To me, social skills are the way you interact with people verbally or physically as far as far as the choices you make in doing so. For instance the other evening I was at an art opening for my boyfriend, Ghosty. Everyone was rather polite as he was explaining his art process, except for one person who kept on using gestures during his whole speech. Loud, macabe and inappropriate sounding gestures. Finally Ghosty politely asked the crowd in general to please withhold from using them until he was finished with his presentation (he, having social skills, did not want to specifically point out the name of the one person as to embarrass them).

To me, this is a prime example of someone who is completely clueless of how to behave in public in SL. It's one thing perhaps if you're in a club, but not during what was primarily sort of a cross between a business and social setting.

As for Lexxi, running around naked, I don't consider this lacking in social skills either. She is roleplaying as a Neko and well, Nekos are feline and cats are naked, so I find that tolerable. It is a bit over the top at times, but she is so endearing and charming to those who know her. Plus, she is known to ask if she is bothering anyone.

Obviously, you knew you were having an issue, weren't clueless about what you were doing. So it doesn't seem a lack of social skills on your part, just a temporary glitch

You make an excellent point about the 'lacks social skills' judgments being more likely to be made when there's a deliberate attempt to disrupt (and that does make me feel better!)




OH, okay, now Lexxi's comment about crawling around naked is making more sense to me!

As for the continual typing... sometimes I've found that if I just type one character, like a comma or period, then hit Enter, it will stop the typing animation.

Regarding animations, sits, etc.... it all just takes practice. But trust us, we've ALL been there, done that.

Good suggestions, thanks---I am making a note of them and will give them a try.

As with Talurus' suggestions, I'm making a note of this one (the simplicity is appealing!)

M is a subbie!

Now, the question is, who is his Dom?

Bit of a miscommunication here--I'm a female using a female avatar. (But I appreciate the information!)

Maybe I should have left it obscure. Another thing which makes for better conversation around here

The green frog?
Oh hell, where's the brain bleach when you need it?

Hmn, maybe I should package up the gesture and animation and offer it as a 'Live Immy's Life for a Day Pack'....!?!!?

LOL! M Linden does a nadu. Too funny.

*LOL* Poor thing! I attend regular meetings with the other board members of Virtual Ability; the chairs we use for that roundtable don't like my AO, and like you, if I forget to turn off my AO, I sink way inside of them. When turn the AO of, pop out and look halfway normal. Without the AO of course the typing animation comes back. I too have stood up inadvertently, and just say oh just ignore me, sorry, and they laugh and move on. At a presentation, we had a newbie who climbed all over everyone, ended up sitting on top of the podium where the speaker was trying to present. The speaker was very cool and handled it well, the guy was a newbie, what can you do. Wouldn't stop talking either and told the president of our board at one point in open chat, 'I can be your hero'. Ummm yeah ok, you do that, start by sitting down and shutting up. lol. I think you have a great sense of humor about it all and hopefully your colleagues do too. If they don't, shame on them.

Ponsonby, if you want, we can organize a little session on animations, AOs, how to use them, etc.

Pssst.... your Forum Private Messaging is turned off...

Oops! major booboo then - so sorry - not sure why i assumed you were male /me blushes

It looks like he left a subbie pose running before he sat on the chair, which is why his hands looked unnatural in the first minutes of the video. He then stood up, which reverted to the still-running subbie pose, then sat back down, clearing it. Or something.

Makes you wonder what M and T were up to just prior to the interviewer arriving.

News scandal headline: "CEO of Linden Lab, Mark Kingdon, caught in sex scandal with giant green alien frog creature! Film at 11!"