If Philip Rosedale built a restaurant?

There's a thread on Raph Koster's website with some fun quips about what a restaurant would be like if various game designers had buillt it. For instance :

In the comments, there was one about Philip Rosedale:

While that was funny, and probably true, I can imagine that regular SL residents could expand greatly on that idea

What do you think? What would a restaurant created by Philip Rosedale be like?

Aforementioned original thread: http://www.raphkoster.com/2009/02/20/the-pub-game-for-designers

Enclosing links in IMG tags makes them not show up at all for some folks, such as me, for instance, while the one below shows like it's supposed to.

http://www.raphkoster.com/2009/02/20/the-pub-game-for-designers

Bummer... I thought that img was more universal... I don't use Strife's GreaseMonkey script because it fails on query params, so I guess there's just no good method for everyone

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If Philip Rosedale designed a restaurant, the menus would work fine for a few years. Then one day, without any explanation whatsoever, the formatting would get completely screwed up. The problem would never be addressed, despite the frequent complaints from diners, and eventually they would simply stop handing out menus altogether.

If Philip Rosedale designed a restaurant, many people would spend hours there each and every day, due to the restaurant's addictive effect. But those same people would complain endlessly about various facets of the restaurant, some of which really could use improvement, and others of which were of the 'can't please everybody' variety. And the restaurant's managers would secretly wish those people could become a smaller proportion of the restaurant's patrons, while corporations could be come a larger proportion of the patrons.

If Philip Rosedale designed a restaurant, there would be a built in long waiting period because half the tables would be filled with bots to make it look buisier than it is.

Your food would come out steaming, but sometimes just as steam.

You would not be able to pay the bill due to cash register overload.

If Phillip Rosedale opend a restaurant, he'd probably be able to boast millions served. but 99% of them would be people who tried it one day and never came back.

If Philip owned a restaurant, the customers would frequently not be able to get in no matter how hard they tried. Once they did finally get in the door they'd either be a grey goo or have their head stuck up their ass.

Your kids would have to eat in the Teen Restaurant next door. The restaurant would be free, but you would only be able to get a space to eat if you paid. If you wanted a chair or table, you'd have to make it yourself or buy it from another diner. Once you ordered your food, it might turn up late or not at all. When it arrived, the behaviour of the people at the next table might leave you too squicked to eat it.

I found this place looking for "boots", but I don't see any boots. And the map says there are 47 people here, but I don't see anyone!

The ad in the yellow pages says this place sells boots, but I don't see any boots.

Cooks could decide themselves on what they cook. Usually the most fancy and outlandish dish somebody could think of. The menu is nonexistent and changes hourly on a whim. Waiters would vote on where to put the prepared food. Guests don't complain, they just give back more or less "love" when they pay the bill.

If Philip Rosedale created a restaurant, every five minutes a new university student would show up asking the diners to fill out a survey.

If Philip Rosedale created a restaurant, it would be an amazing restaurant with the widest variety of food you could imagine! As the waitstaff seated you at an elegant table, you would then realize that you have been given no silverware except for a single chopstick, and you would sit there for hours picking at your delicious meal with the one chopstick because it was your only option.

if phillips Rosedale built a restaurant youd starve to death at your table waiting for your food to be delivered.. whenever you queried a waiter about when it was coming, the answer would be 'order missing from the kitchen'

eventually you might get your food, but then when you went to pay the bill would be 67% more than what was stated on the menu.

bon apetit.

If Philip Rosedale created a restaurant, there would be no chefs only a wide range of fine ingredients. Patrons have a choice of cooking their own meals or paying other patrons to cook for them. Counter seating at no charge, tables charged by number of chairs, private rooms available at much higher rates. Offer for private rooms with limited seating at reduced rates withdraw after a short period of time. And of course; sex would be allowed everywhere.

Or set the food on the floor, turn into a dog or cat, and chow down.

Or make a big funnel, tilt your head back, drop some scripts into the food, and chug it all down.

You might decide to eat later and drop some scripts into your food and watch it fly around and give off light shows.

You could examine the one chopstick carefully and build a replica. One box prim, elongated, with a slight taper, would probably do it. If you needed help, you'd just ask one of the other patrons. There wouldn't be any visible waiters or staff or any sort to ask.

If you built your second chopstick, you might reach down with the pair of them and find that your food has moved a bit from where you last noticed.

While the various patrons were busy building or enjoying their meals, every now and then some annoying four-year old would come running through the restaurant, screaming, kicking, and leaving a trail of mario cubes in their wake. Occaisonaly the restaurant staff will turn up to haul the 4-yearold away, but as often as not, the annoying child is gone by the time the staff turn up.

-Atashi

You wouldn't ever have to send food back to the kitchen, instead you would just click Advanced>Character>Rebake Lasagna

You arrive at the restaurant only to be told "the kitchen is currently out of order so you are being taken to another nearby establishment".

When you get there it turns out to be a burger joint in an unsalubrious part of town, completely crowded out with foreign tourists who are milling around, trying to make themselves understood. Most of them seem to be under the mistaken impression that this is the red-light district and you must be there touting for business.

--
Aes

If Philip Rosedale ran a restaurant..

.. the restauraunt's, at first, had a cover charge, and the selling point would be that the patrons could cook their own food and sell it to other people. Over time, a few people would get really good at cooking, and soon everyone who went there would want food of the best, rare quality. Other people, who weren't so good, would complain that having to either buy someone else's food, or cook just for themselves, was something they could do in any other restaurant or their own kitchen (respectively). So, Philip went outside and changed the sign on the door, so that the selling point was that the restaurant sold a wide variety of food, rather than that people could cook and sell their own.

After that, a lot of the people who had wanted to cook and sell their own food, but weren't so talented, left; and the talented cooks who remained started to complain that, since the cover charge wasn't worth it for anyone who wasn't a talented cook, people weren't coming in to buy their food. So, Philip abolished the cover charge, and let everyone into the restaurant, counting to make money on the fees he charged the cooks (which they made back from their food sales). But, Philip is smart, and he realised that could be a problem, because if the cooks had low sales they'd stop paying him, and he'd lose money, and he wouldn't be able to do anything about it, because he couldn't make people buy from the cooks. So, he contacted McDonald's and asking if they'd like to come cook burgers in the restaurant, thinking they'd stay no matter what, because they made so much profit everythere else. McDonald's duly came along and set up a stand, but they didn't sell burgers: they just told everyone to leave the restaurant and go to McDonald's instead. Fortunately for Philip, most of the people who visited his restaurant still basically did it because they wanted to go there, not somewhere else, and so very few people left for McDonald's, and McDonald's took down their sign after a few months.

Meanwhile, more and more talented cooks had started to come in, and they started competing with each other. Philip put out some advertising space that they could buy, but every cook took out an ad, and so the list was just as confusing to pick from. Some of the cooks started offering free food samples, but people still had to go over to their stall to get them. Some of them started paying actors to stand near their stalls to make it look like lots of people ate there. Philip hired a concierge to help people find the food they wanted, but he was a rather strange man recruited from a big IT company, and he tended to choose his recommendations in weird ways. When they heard about it, some of the cooks started running experiments on him to find out how he decided to recommend people, and then rigging their stalls so he'd think of them. Also, the restaurant had started to kind of smell, from the vagrants wandering in to eat the free samples and pretend to stand in front of the stalls that were paying actors...

So Philip sold the whole thing to James Bond's former boss and retired.

Your food is delivered to you in a plywood box painted with an attractive rendering of the meal in question. You look at this box, puzzled, wondering how to get at the food within. A few people (the ones who look like regulars, calling the waiters by name etc.) are enjoying their meals but most of the other customers are also sitting there looking at their boxes with puzzled expressions.

Outside a small crowd has gathered on the sidewalk as one intrepid would-be diner has managed to get his meal to appear right in the middle of the street, explaining excitedly that the governor's roads in the area are build-enabled. Unfortunately he gets caught up in his explanation and after exactly 5 minutes to the second his meal disappears again. At least he wasn't run over by a car, absorbed as he was in the middle of the street; fortunately vehicles passing through the intersection from the next block over seem to be spontaneously exploding, leaving their drivers and passengers bewildered but thankfully unhurt.

A few more people begin carrying their boxes out to the road, exhorting their dates to have forks and knives ready so they can stuff as much of their meals down as possible before the 5 minutes is up. Some head for home to avoid all these problems, one or two muttering about having to temporarily take up some of the furniture to make room for all this primmy food.

After a time you notice that all the people eating seem to be wearing the special name tags that got handed out at the door. You dig around in your pocket amongst the other 24 you always carry with you, find it and put it on. Lo and behold, you are now allowed to place your plates of food on the table. Beaming at your own cleverness, you decide to run to the bathroom before settling in to enjoy your meal.

3 minutes later you come back to your table and your food is gone. You ask a passing waiter what might have happened, and he tells you to clear your cache, then leave and come back. You leave, but don't bother clearing your cache (whatever that is) and don't bother coming back either.

((These are getting better and better...))




...And a few are wearing their boxes on their heads.

You notice that the dining room seems to be segregated---not, as in the bad old real world, by skin color or ethnic heritage, but by...hair. Those who have Medusa-like blades of hair are distinctly looking down their noses at those whose hair is an undifferentiated mass.

Every so often, when a newcomer enters the restaurant, a peal of derisive laughter rings out, and the muffled words 'slider clothes!' can be heard.

Occasionaly, a diner will leap to his or her feet, arms straight out to the sides, immobile. The diner will instantly change appearance.

Even more occasionally, everyone in the restaurant will suddenly look like a generic white woman in a purple shirt.

This is a wonderfully humorous complete history of Second Life.

If this was used to depict the history of Second Life in another place on the web with credit to you would you have a problem with it?

for the first 3 years, It would close every wednesday for menu updates which would take staff the weekend to learn and get it right.. then after that they would radomly close reboot table by table to upgrade the silverware, replacing it with plastic mcdonalds cutlery and paper cups.....Then claim they could hold 100 people with 24 seats in the restaurant..

If Philip Rosedale built a restaurant . . .

. . . lots of people would sit down in front of their meals and



















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