SL for the Older Generation

I have offered a couple of threads recently about age and players who are older in real years. I care deeply for my SL partner since we have been together for 10 months in this brave new world. So I think I have advice to listen to and advice to give. I am relatively young in real (29) so am sometimes concerned with how to "come across" to H. (my partner)
Here are some points that I offer for general discussion (for those of you who like to shout/snip and sneer - please don't)
1. Do older people in SL who have appearance as young avatars see themselves when they speak to others as youthful as their avatars or are they wearing a "persona" that is sometimes difficult to bear since they, themselves, are physically older in real?
2. I treat H. exactly as I would if he was physically my age. Again, I am presuming adult readership here so ... sometimes I worry that I may be pushing him in directions that might tire him or at very least make him "hurry to catch up" - so my question is this - do older players have a different "take" on cyber sex" or even on the hours young people may keep - or can they adapt?
3. I am an intelligent woman and H. is a perceptive and extremelly erudite and successful man in his real life ... so what issues can I explore that older people are finding controversial and exciting and that I may be "missing" in my own "intellectual matrix/vocabulary"?
4. Finally, simply this: What do older players think of SL and how does each of their real experiences and cultural/traditional value systems hold up in this dystopia/utopia we call SL?

What do you consider to be older? Anyone over 29 or are we talking someone in their 30's, 40's, 50's, 60's....

People are not defined by their age.

I can't really comment on the perspective, but in general the best way to know what excites/interests someone is to just ask them .

Unless neither of you ever makes a mention about his RL age, I'd think you could just discuss the other topics with him as well?

I am referring to those players who are in their 50s/60s and 70s.
I think the experience of my partner in the real world helps to define his age. He tells me of Carnaby Street in London in the sixties and going on protest marches. It is great. It is a bit like living with Doctor Who!
Age is experience. But mental age is often (I hope) much younger.

Exactly, Jig. Age brings experience and perspective. Age takes away some physical abilities, but that has no bearing on your friend's Second Life stamina. As long as he can type, he can "keep up with you".

Don't worry about that unless he says something. And it'll be more likely along the lines of, "I'm up way past my bedtime and need to get some sleep" (which happens to us all) rather than, "I'm feeling my years...run along and play, youngster".

You're making way too much of this age thing. If you do it with your friend, it will probably embarrass him. Just take him as he is, and let the years go.

I'm on the other side of the coin - the older Player.

My 'mental age', in RL and in SL, is much more youthful than the number of years my Player has walked this planet. I tend to hang out with people who are younger than I am, and to do activities that are more typical for younger people. Most of the friends that my RL mate and I have are a good ten to 20 years younger than we are, at least.

My SL Partner is strictly a roleplay relationship. In RL their Player will never be more than a good friend to me, and vice versa. I don't know their exact age, nor do I care, really. But I am fairly certain they are 20 or so years younger than my Player. The age difference is almost never a matter for discussion, or a factor in our interactions. Then again, both of us roleplay as Kitsune, with a lifespan far exceeding that of Humans, and each of us has, in roleplay terms, many centuries of life experience. So although we both enjoy youth and vigor, we also both portray the experience of many years existance.

It's far easier, I think, for an older Player to portray a younger one. We have but to remember our own past. But for a youth to portray an older, more experienced player? There, what do they draw on, for the experience and wisdom that they should have gained over the decades? Some may, to be sure, be more mature than their years would tell. But most don't have enough experience to draw upon to do a convincing job.

I have a different slant on this. I take other avatars at face value and try not to look beyond them to their controllers.

Lindal said it perfectly. She's wise beyond her years. I honestly think differing time zones are more of an issue than differing ages. I'm on the West Coast, so if I get on in the evenings, the East Coast people are up at midnight, 1:00 am, etc. It's tougher on them, even if they are younger than me. Meanwhile, my European friends are enjoying a cup of coffee before they head out to work. (or tea, or Vitamaltz or whatever Europeans drink in the morning. The blood of Yankees. OK, I'm joking, please, no hate mail). Poor Tegg - I'm on in the evenings and it's 4:00 am last Tuesday in Australia. I'm working out a deal where I send him money and he bets on sporting events that have already happened here in the States but since it's three days ago in Australia, they haven't occurred. We'll invest the profits in Ginko bonds.

My point is, that there are a lot more things that are way more important than age, and people should just act normally. You are being very sensitive to your BF's needs, but you may be overdoing it by worrying about him too much. If he isn't bringing up the issue, and you aren't seeing any other signs of it, then it isn't one. Just be happy and enjoy your relationship with him.

1. I have thought about this lot over the past few weeks. My avatar is much younger than my real life self, 50 next year. But I made my avatar his shape, spent ages choosing hair and skin, am careful what he wears, I have 7 predetermined outfit/style folders with associated copies of skin hair and in one a slightly shorter shape. This is who I am in my subconscious in RL, I only don't look like this in RL when I look in the mirror. I consider myself much younger for my age than many 22 year olds I meet now, I have had a great life, been a freelance designer for much of it and presently involved in a kind of rock'n'roll lifestyle. If it's been offered I've tried nearly everything at least once.

2. Thats pretty much subjective imo. I have recently partied for 48 hours, I went to my first rave at 40. I always stay up too late. I speak to everyone as if they are my 'age' but obviously I don't think of them as 49, but as my 'minds' age. Cyber Sex is something I once did in chat rooms many years ago and quickly got bored of it after 3 months. I have considered it once or twice in SL and may yet do it 'once'. I probably don't feel comfortable in participating, but when I had a partnership with someone who wanted 'love/sex' in SL, all I really wanted to do was build LOL.

3. At this time, don't really know how I would answer that??? Maybe your intellect will help you find 'it'. Or just ask him?

4. Ohhh that sounds like a thesis length answer. Basically I believe over a short period of time, whilst communicating with a person, I get a good gist of what kind of person it is behind the avatar, so I think I accept people on their personalities more so than on how their avatar looks, even though their personalities are in 'type'. Also as i said before "If it's been offered I've tried nearly everything at least once", so I am quite broadminded even though slightly sexually suppressed, therefore on a whole my cultural/traditional value scope is wide and on a whole accept everyone for what they want to be here in SL. However, some aspects of RP in SL I wouldn't accept at all in RL.

Wow, what is this sudden obsession with age? Three threads on the front page strikes me as a little excessive. After all, does your RL age really matter in SL?

I am well over the median age of the population of SL. Anyone who attempts to grief me over my age can f*ck off and die.... simple as that. I've seen enough of age discrimination in RL to know that it's 'civilisation's' ugly dirty secret. Age has little bearing on who I associate with. I'm interested in the creativity, logic, reasoning, knowledge, wisdom, imagination, compassion, politics and such like that resides in a person's mind / soul / spirit / whatever.

Age is a state of mind. I don't think there are any "old" people in SL.

I don't care.

All you whippersnappers keep the hell offa my LAWN!

*shakes cane angrily from front porch - adjusts black socks then slams the screen door*

Oh yes there are! any avatars that specifically work for a large corporation that as a site in SL, here for the wrong reasons and usually 'old' whether they be 18 or 88

Now, see, there you go, discriminating against those of us who are uncreative, illogical, stupid, and boring. (Lucky for us, we have numbers on our side. )

lol

Kinda seems that way to me, too, now that you mention it.

coco

Thats why the Linedens gave us ban lines. /me goes to gum his oatmeal.

Don't forget your prune juice

Do we really need 400 age-related threads?

Yes.

Well, at least if we want to surpass the 400000000 CSI threads and 500000000000 Ginko ones

We used up our Quota of VAT threads

ANd we're coming close to the age-thread quota. Whats next? Av-weight?

You kids and your...your...your QUESTIONS!!! Bah! In my day we only got to ask one question per day and if it was a stupid one, we got a WHIPPING!! There was a war to fight, and questions were rationed.

"Go cut me a switch,boy!"

LOL! Back in culinary school, we had a grumpy old German guy as our Soups and Stocks professor. He always carried a red marker with him, and if someone asked a stupid question (i.e. hadn't been paying attention) the professor would put a big red 'X' on the person's forehead. I paid a lot of attention in that class.