Isn't Second Life BRILLIANT

Morning Forum!

Following my stream of noob questions last week, I thought I would start the week by announcing that I now feel a little bit more like a resident and ISN'T SL BRILLIANT!

I can't get over the Live Music thing! Apart from the fact that it sounds great, the artists are great and the locations are great - I can't believe that they actually interact with the audience! I suppose it's something you get used to after a while, but I was at an event with the extremely helpful and patient Sally Silvera and I was asking her if it was Live, and Sally was saying 'yes' probably thinking I asked the daftest questions and then I was completely blown away when he says "Hi Sally great to see you here and hi Sandy, welcome, haven't seen you before" Brilliant. But thanks again to Sally, I wouldn't be nearly as amazed with SL if it wasn't for you.

The one question I was going to ask is ....... is there any downside to people adding you as friends, and I don't mean people like you guys who you get to meet through the Forums, I mean people that you meet on the street. Over the weekend I was wandering round an english city when I was approached by a lady who started talking to me. She was from Brazil and seemed very nice. After chatting for a while she asked if she could add me as a friend and I duly obliged, we suggested meeting up in the future and off we went. The next day I was wandering through an S&M shop (as you do - I was exposing myself to the dark underbelly of SL) and I met another lady who was Japanese. After chatting again for a while she asked if we could be friends and again she was added and off I cooly swaggered to browse the rubber gimp suits.

Am I just struggling to shake off my RL suspicions off complete strangers being nice, or could there be some sort of hidden agenda that I wasn't aware of?

Sandy

It's great, Sandy, that you are enjoying SL so much. I would say, IN GENERAL, that if you talk for a while with someone and then you are asked to be friends, there is no nefarious agenda going on. However, if someone sends you a friend invite "cold", with no conversation whatsoever, either the person is a complete newbie who does not understand how things work, or it's a person who works at a club or business who simply wants you on their friends list so they can tp you to the club or business.

Keep being friendly, I'd say

I'm amazed. When I meet strangers like that they don't usually ask. They usually just click "Add Friend" after a few brief words assuming I want to be friends with them. As Steve said, it's usually new people that do that.

Sounds to me like you had nice conversations so I don't see why you wouldn't add them as friends. Maybe you'll hang out with them again, maybe not. It doesn't hurt. One thing I would suggest you do now is to go into their profiles and make brief notes about them so you can remember them later. Down the road your friends list may get long and you may want to clear some out. You'll find those notes very helpful. I sure do.

Only negative with too many friends on your list is the blue box on the bottom right popping up and down telling you when they log in and out. At this point I don't even see mine anymore.

I'm glad you're having fun! That's what it's all about.

follow your instincts, if you do not feel comfortable adding someone as a friend, then don't
just explain you like to get to know someone better before adding as a friend and offer to exchange calling cards instead (as useless as they are LOL)

good to see you are having fun

(admittedly there has been so much negativity lately on the forums about SL, I automatically assumed this was a tongue in cheek, sarcastic post)

nice to know it is genuine

welcome aboard and enjoy the ride

Beware of "friends." Don't accept a friends invitation from those who don't say a word to you before issuing an invite which happens alot. The same with tp's, don't accept them either or group invites if you don't know anything about the group or the people issuing invites.

Meet the people first and after coversing with them do it if you feel like it but you're under no obligation to accept anything from anyone.

Don't be too trusting just because they may sound nice. Get to know them first and even then you need to be careful.

Cold invites suck.

I've chatted with some folks got invited within a few minutes. It's very rare that I see these folks again. Other folks I've known for over a year and they still aren't on my list (probably because I see them on a regular basis).

Once you get a decent list going, watch out for Wrong Window Syndrome. One day a buddy and I were quoting songs and I ended up serenading some chic.

I always thought it was only the roadies who were live and that they pretend to be the singer between songs?

There is a setting in preferences that you can turn off so you won't get these notices.

@ Sandy: I'm glad to hear you are having a good time. The friends thing is really a matter of personal choice. Some people like to have hundreds of them, some just a few. It doesn't hurt you to accept them (if you want to), and you can always remove them later. The one thing being a friend will do is give them the ability to see when you are online... there are other privileges too, but you can turn those on and off in the friends window.

One thing I would definitely recommend when YOU want to offer someone friendship: ask first. Just something like "I would love to keep in touch with you. May I add you to my friends list?" In my experience, people really appreciate that.

I have to be honest, one of my new friends popped on line last night and I'd met her the day before, She sent me an IM and we started chatting but we're in completely different locations. After a while I suggested that we went to a bar so we would be sat in the same place. I got there and was waiting for her to arrive and, you have to remember that I've only been hooked on this for a week or so, I was experiencing all the sort of emotions that you would have in RL! I was sat looking at the door and then she appeared outside and I was just completely nervous! Absolutely amazing. I stood up to make myself seen and promptly got 'stuck' on my barstool and couldn't move. How embarrassing - that could only happen to me. Then I realised we were both wearing a white tshirt and blue jeans so we looked like we were waiting for the West Side Story auditions to start. But apart from that it was great and we sat and chatted until I had to log out.

Is the 'laglalicious' (as Sally would put it) side to SL something that you just have to deal with or is there anything I can do to enhance my experience? I don't have a fancy outfit on or anything and no jewelry.

Sandy

I have an article on my blog that you may find helpful:
http://ecstasyrealty.com/2007/09/lag_lag_lag_what_can_we_do.html

on edit: I just noticed I forgot to say anything about draw distance or other Preference settings.

adding friends... it depends.

if someone sends me a FR after spending most of the evening/day/whatever with me having fun in whatever way we happened to have a good time, i gladly accept.

if someone whom i dont know at all sends me a FR without even saying HI, well.... ugly. very ugly. don't try that at home.

As Ava says, adding friends really is a matter of choice. You'll make some good friends you like to hang out with regularly and some you may never see again. Some you may IM from time to time. You can easily remove those you never hear from again.

On the lag front, it's a cross we all bear. Become one with the lag, let the lag flow through you

Good to hear you're having fun! Keep it up.

/me blushes and waves at Sandy : thanks for your very kind comments! It's my pleasure

Glad you're still having fun! Have you tried the snowball throwing yet? Oh and remind me about the skydiving if you like

As to the adding friends thing: (I was fortunate enough to become Sandy's very first friend btw ) I'm with Raorth on this one: follow your instincs and don't feel you're being rude if you decline. I usually just explain that I like to get to know people before I befriend them.
And if you're offering: yes, do ask first, random friendship offers from virtual strangers are a bit of a no-no.

Also, there's nothing wrong with adding people after only a first chat, after all, if they start to annoy you, there's a delete button too... Hidden agenda? They liked your hair

And as Bradley suggested, if you're going to add a lot of people it helps to make notes in their profiles (which no-one but you can see by the way), especially if you think you may not be in touch with them on a regular basis.

Keep enjoying

Sally

You see THIS is why SL is brilliant, when I checked back in on this thread and saw Sally had responded I announced 'HERE SHE IS!' to an empty room (I sit in a a little office on my own) and a big smile spread from ear to ear!

How do I go about meeting more people from the forums? Do some of you generally have a meeting place? I had the Forum Cartel IM screen up over the weekend and tentatively quietly asked the question "are you all at the Hangout at the moment?" but I think my question got swept along in the banter so I carried on with my camp dancing at Dream Island (I've got a choice of camp dancing or drunk dancing at the moment - a shopping expedition to buy a new dance was hilarious, but didn't offer up any new snazzy moves!). Do you have groups who meet up in certain places at certain times like "Lets all go to the Blarney Stone on a Wednesday for a Guiness?" Do they have Pub Quizzes??? They should do if they don't - that would be great!!

In answer to your question Sally, I haven't worked out how to throw a snow ball yet but have worked out how to accidentally take all my clothes off in an art gallery whilst trying to change my shirt. Sky diving sounds great and I will be bothering you in the future over that one!

Sandy

Sandy, it's the 'My Notes' section, last tab on right of profiles people are referring to here. This is for your entry and the person who you're making notes on won't see it (thankfully!)

Your SL date can be everything as emotional as a RL one. I invited someone I'd met on a treasure hunt recently to the forum hangout yesterday and spent a very enjoyable time there. When she tp-ed out (planned)I was left with the same Adrenalin rush I remember from my teens!

Glad you're getting a kick out of it

added: The Hangout in Allana is never deserted for long.

/me giggles : stop making me blush!



I can't help on the meeting people from the forums thing, although I imagine if you went to the hangout, you'd find people there. I'm sure one of the cartel members will be along shortly with a reply to that one If you want to find other places to meet people, you could use search to find events, taking into account that the events listings are badly spammed, or search for groups that might have interests you share.

[/QUOTE=Sandy Carver] In answer to your question Sally, I haven't worked out how to throw a snow ball yet but have worked out how to accidentally take all my clothes off in an art gallery whilst trying to change my shirt. Sky diving sounds great and I will be bothering you in the future over that one! [/QUOTE]

I hope the gallery was in a mature area

I've got a freebie parachute I'll throw at you, give me a shout and I'll show you were to splat.

I too think it's great that Sandy's getting such a kick from it!!
Its like a reminder if how great SL can be
I must admit I rarely ask before friending...but i never friend unless i've know someone for a little while at least and my instincts have told me it would be welcomed.
As for people friending me unasked....I always just accept....especially if its a complete noob.
No point hurting them...and todays noob can be tomorrows best friend..who knows?

To elaborate on my comment about the hangout:

That is why we did it. We kept missing each other just as a group cos of timezones and stuff. The hangout is our .. er .. hangout .. for when we wanna meet up, play, surf, throw pies, impress our friends ... or get shown up in front of them (joke!)

I was playing at barman yesterday with Katherine sitting at the bar when Marty came in asking for slut something-or-other. I nearly whopped him one, let alone Katherine .. took me a few seconds to realise he meant a cocktail

Come along and play!

Actually I was thinking about that the other day when I was helping a newbie girl out. To take people to the right places, you have to friend each other because TPs only work for friends. This is how my friendslist gets a tad out of hand sometimes. But also how I meet and befriend some very nice people. I just clean up every now and then. I tend to only delete people I really never have any contact with, and if I do delete someone I simply send them a quick message to explain.

Thats a big part of SL i think...sharing and helping.
Mmmm....i think there's a danger that after someone's been in SL a while they can get a bit elitist. I mean you've got your AV sorted out..got your circle of friends...why bother with someone who's only been in SL a few days?
To illustrate that todays' newbie can be tomorrows best friend.....On my first day in SL a long term female resident came up to me and offered me help. I friended her immediately because i knew nothing I never forgot her kindness..but never contacted her again..fairly typical of one of those instant frienders really.
Recently i noticed that she'd not been on much. I sent her an Im thanking her for her kindness that day, and she's back in SL again now. She'd got a bit jaded with SL because she'd had a few bad experiences...but now shes enjoying it again...and i have another valued friend

I get lots of blind friend invites like anyone or from people I talked to for 5 minutes , sometimes I accept them as they are really new and may have no friends yet and I just delete them off the list a week or so later if they don't continue contact or seem to need any more help. Some can be clingy, but I just ease off contact with them if they aren't the sort of person I consider a longterm friend prospect.

Actually, you may also TP from pulling up someone's profile from "Search". At least it used to work this way. Have I missed something?

I totally respect that other people maybe decide they don't want to invest their time in helping new residents, but I always remember I was new once and was very grateful for any help I was offered.

Plus, I really believe SL can be very daunting and overwhelming and I wouldn't want people to walk away from it because they can't find their way around. AND: helping new residents can also be great fun , it also makes you see the world through fresh eyes again.

I usually accept all friendships that are offered and every few weeks I have a clear-out of the ones that have lost (or never made) contact. I find that is the most diplomatic approach.

Can't anymore, that was taken away a while back AFAIK