Second Life Forums Archive - SL friends that died in RL?

Conifer Dada

Hiya m'dooks!

Join date: 6 Oct 2006

Posts: 3,716

03-09-2008 06:56

I was at Hyles Swamp one day and a charming older gentleman invited me to his ballroom to dance with him. I went along and he took a shine to me and kept telling me I was very beautiful and I meant a lot to him. I kept saying I was just ordinary but he said I couldn't begin to realise how much that occasion meant to him. Anyway, he went on my friends list and he used to invite me back frequently but usually I didn't go. After a while the messages stopped and I went to find the ballroom. Nearby there was a woman I got chatting to. I asked about the guy with the ballroom and she said she thought he'd died in RL. I felt sad - although it crossed my mind that she might have been his alt.

Also, once, in a sandbox, I got talking to someone who said both their parents were killed in the 9/11 attacks. I felt a bit shaken.

Erie Runningbear

Registered User

Join date: 21 Jan 2008

Posts: 8

mhmm

03-09-2008 10:31

From: FD Spark

Thank you for responding.
I am really sorry for your loss Collete and Usagi.
I know there are avatars here in sl who have long term illness, some terminal
so it would make sense that some might die.
Yet I wonder if some do it as roleplay, and if they do this why? Isn't this bit cruel?
I brought this up because in recent month I made new friend.
I showed her around one of my hang outs.
We talked a little, that day I was feeling poorly in real life and she mentioned she also
had health problems.
I took few days off when I returned she had become tight with a lot of my friends
and I was told she had maybe few weeks to live.
The whole thing felt really strange but I couldn't put my finger on it.
I kept getting reports she was in and out of the hospital, yet I would see her login,etc.
Friends would say well she it's her Mother giving reports to this one "friend" or
she going in and out of hospital every day.
I thought about what I would do and people I have known in real life with terminal illness
who have died and just something felt off but I thought perhaps I am just being
jaded, mistrustful and overly suspicious or just uncomfortable because of my own
real life stuff I am going through.
I haven't said anything to friends except few I know who wouldn't be mad at me
for being so judgmental.
The person didn't seem to want anything and seem to be pretty quite around me when
we all were together but I mention this to a old time SL friend and she mentioned
people do this sometimes for attention,etc.
I just curious if anyone else on forum has experienced this.
Any way when I die or things worsen health wise that I can't login there is no one who is going to come in my account and report this to my friends unless my boyfriend in rl mentions something on my blog but he really dislikes SL.
Though he somewhat warming up to my friends in SL.

Experienced this with an ex, but in a different game. I suspect these twisted individuals thrive in the virtual realm, as they exist in every MMO, unfortuantely

Tianti Teebrook

Registered User

Join date: 9 Dec 2007

Posts: 11

Half of a response

03-09-2008 10:51

Hey, I am searching the forums in reference another issue but got sidetracked with this question and feel a desire to repspond. I'm sorry I do not have exact information that I am about to give but maybe it will help...A RL death inspired my search for some type of communications to my SL peeps in the event of an emergency or RL death. Under the "search tab", I searched under"All" the keyword 'funeral' and somewhere through that browse I discovered there IS an in world service that will send out notecards to
everyone you add to your private list, but I'm sorry to say, I don't have that info handy. With a little digging you too can find it. Check around...ask around...and hopefully someone will know of it and post that info here. They listed a need for actual proof of death such as certificates, autopsy reports and the like in order to do this or else shamelessly there are some who would report the'death' of someone who is not dead and so on. So I wish everyone luck on finding this info! It IS out there.

Madhu Maruti

aka Carter Denja

Join date: 6 Dec 2007

Posts: 749

03-09-2008 14:22

I am glad this thread got revived.

A SL friend of mine (SL-only) passed away in RL about two weeks ago. I noticed about 10 days ago that he had not been in world for several days and while I was not exactly worried about his safety, I did want to know if anything in particular was up. I asked a mutual friend of ours who also thought he was just taking a break.

A few days later she learned, via email from a member of his family, that he had passed away in RL.

I admit that from reading the tales earlier in this thread I was at first leery, considering the possibility that he just wanted to leave SL and was creating drama (though it seemed very unlike him to do so). But quickly an impromptu wake gathered in SL as the news spread and I met some people who had met him in RL; a death announcement on a funeral home website was circulated, and it was clear that this was the real thing.

I attended a memorial for him in SL this morning; it was very lovely. I had only known him a couple of months - many there had known him much longer on the SL time scale, as his av was almost two years old - but I had so much affection for him and considered knowing him one of the highlights of my SL experience. Ironically I lost a RL friend about a month ago, and one of the things that helped me cope with that was long chats about it with this particular SL friend. I miss him.

_____________________

Visit Madhu's Cafe - relax with your friends in our lush gardens, dance with someone special, enjoy the sounds of classic Bollywood and Monday Night World Music parties - http://slurl.com/secondlife/Milyang/39/16/701/

Cee Edman

The Dude Abides

Join date: 2 Oct 2007

Posts: 283

03-09-2008 19:33

From: Lana Tomba

almost makes me wanna cry to think about it but i live in a very rural area.....noone to speak of like a partner or anything..distant cousins but no family who knows enough about a computer or my life to know where and who to contact. If i kick it no online friends will ever know..I wish i could change that.

~Lana Tomba

Not wanting to rely on having to make anyone access my account and learn the intricacies of SL transactions, friends list and messaging, I approached it this way:

I feel so fortunate that the person I am closest to in SL has trusted me with RL name, address and telephone number (and vice versa). That information in a sealed envelope ("Open in The Event of My Death Or Incapacity"

will allow my Executor or close family member to write the letter or make the call to alert one person who can inform all my SL friends. That person also has the right to sell our group land, and if they are given the password to my Avatar account(s) to retrieve funds, for what little RL-money benefit that would be (not being a business owner).

It takes one SL friend who will trust you with their RL information or email address, and a person in your real life who will carry out your wish to have someone informed.

Isobel DeSantis

Rechargeable ...

Join date: 1 Jan 2007

Posts: 104

03-09-2008 23:03

Ten years ago (wow, so long ago!) I spent 2 years in ActiveWorlds. We had a friend called Kaci who had met a guy in AW. He'd travelled across the US to meet her IRL and they were engaged.

Suddenly she stopped logging in. Her fiance tried to contact her for a month but wasn't able to travel to her for some reason. Eventually Kaci's brother got into her computer and found all the emails from this guy and contacted him to say she'd died of a heart attack a month earlier (she was just 35).

A beautiful memorial garden was built for her that we all contributed to with messages and small builds and her fiance's av stood vigil there for 3 days until the memorial service, which was attended by her parents and brother. We actually managed to get over 100 people there, with no lag!

It was my first experience of a rl death impacting online and quite a few of us exchanged rl contact details as a result.

_____________________

http://slurl.com/secondlife/West%20Sunset/208/126/22

http://www.angelsblog.net/

A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices. ~ William James

SL friends that died in RL?
Conifer Dada Hiya m'dooks! Join date: 6 Oct 2006 Posts: 3,716	03-09-2008 06:56 I was at Hyles Swamp one day and a charming older gentleman invited me to his ballroom to dance with him. I went along and he took a shine to me and kept telling me I was very beautiful and I meant a lot to him. I kept saying I was just ordinary but he said I couldn't begin to realise how much that occasion meant to him. Anyway, he went on my friends list and he used to invite me back frequently but usually I didn't go. After a while the messages stopped and I went to find the ballroom. Nearby there was a woman I got chatting to. I asked about the guy with the ballroom and she said she thought he'd died in RL. I felt sad - although it crossed my mind that she might have been his alt. Also, once, in a sandbox, I got talking to someone who said both their parents were killed in the 9/11 attacks. I felt a bit shaken.
Erie Runningbear Registered User Join date: 21 Jan 2008 Posts: 8	mhmm 03-09-2008 10:31 From: FD Spark Thank you for responding. I am really sorry for your loss Collete and Usagi. I know there are avatars here in sl who have long term illness, some terminal so it would make sense that some might die. Yet I wonder if some do it as roleplay, and if they do this why? Isn't this bit cruel? I brought this up because in recent month I made new friend. I showed her around one of my hang outs. We talked a little, that day I was feeling poorly in real life and she mentioned she also had health problems. I took few days off when I returned she had become tight with a lot of my friends and I was told she had maybe few weeks to live. The whole thing felt really strange but I couldn't put my finger on it. I kept getting reports she was in and out of the hospital, yet I would see her login,etc. Friends would say well she it's her Mother giving reports to this one "friend" or she going in and out of hospital every day. I thought about what I would do and people I have known in real life with terminal illness who have died and just something felt off but I thought perhaps I am just being jaded, mistrustful and overly suspicious or just uncomfortable because of my own real life stuff I am going through. I haven't said anything to friends except few I know who wouldn't be mad at me for being so judgmental. The person didn't seem to want anything and seem to be pretty quite around me when we all were together but I mention this to a old time SL friend and she mentioned people do this sometimes for attention,etc. I just curious if anyone else on forum has experienced this. Any way when I die or things worsen health wise that I can't login there is no one who is going to come in my account and report this to my friends unless my boyfriend in rl mentions something on my blog but he really dislikes SL. Though he somewhat warming up to my friends in SL. Experienced this with an ex, but in a different game. I suspect these twisted individuals thrive in the virtual realm, as they exist in every MMO, unfortuantely
Tianti Teebrook Registered User Join date: 9 Dec 2007 Posts: 11	Half of a response 03-09-2008 10:51 Hey, I am searching the forums in reference another issue but got sidetracked with this question and feel a desire to repspond. I'm sorry I do not have exact information that I am about to give but maybe it will help...A RL death inspired my search for some type of communications to my SL peeps in the event of an emergency or RL death. Under the "search tab", I searched under"All" the keyword 'funeral' and somewhere through that browse I discovered there IS an in world service that will send out notecards to everyone you add to your private list, but I'm sorry to say, I don't have that info handy. With a little digging you too can find it. Check around...ask around...and hopefully someone will know of it and post that info here. They listed a need for actual proof of death such as certificates, autopsy reports and the like in order to do this or else shamelessly there are some who would report the'death' of someone who is not dead and so on. So I wish everyone luck on finding this info! It IS out there.
Madhu Maruti aka Carter Denja Join date: 6 Dec 2007 Posts: 749	03-09-2008 14:22 I am glad this thread got revived. A SL friend of mine (SL-only) passed away in RL about two weeks ago. I noticed about 10 days ago that he had not been in world for several days and while I was not exactly worried about his safety, I did want to know if anything in particular was up. I asked a mutual friend of ours who also thought he was just taking a break. A few days later she learned, via email from a member of his family, that he had passed away in RL. I admit that from reading the tales earlier in this thread I was at first leery, considering the possibility that he just wanted to leave SL and was creating drama (though it seemed very unlike him to do so). But quickly an impromptu wake gathered in SL as the news spread and I met some people who had met him in RL; a death announcement on a funeral home website was circulated, and it was clear that this was the real thing. I attended a memorial for him in SL this morning; it was very lovely. I had only known him a couple of months - many there had known him much longer on the SL time scale, as his av was almost two years old - but I had so much affection for him and considered knowing him one of the highlights of my SL experience. Ironically I lost a RL friend about a month ago, and one of the things that helped me cope with that was long chats about it with this particular SL friend. I miss him. _____________________ Visit Madhu's Cafe - relax with your friends in our lush gardens, dance with someone special, enjoy the sounds of classic Bollywood and Monday Night World Music parties - http://slurl.com/secondlife/Milyang/39/16/701/
Cee Edman The Dude Abides Join date: 2 Oct 2007 Posts: 283	03-09-2008 19:33 From: Lana Tomba almost makes me wanna cry to think about it but i live in a very rural area.....noone to speak of like a partner or anything..distant cousins but no family who knows enough about a computer or my life to know where and who to contact. If i kick it no online friends will ever know..I wish i could change that. ~Lana Tomba Not wanting to rely on having to make anyone access my account and learn the intricacies of SL transactions, friends list and messaging, I approached it this way: I feel so fortunate that the person I am closest to in SL has trusted me with RL name, address and telephone number (and vice versa). That information in a sealed envelope ("Open in The Event of My Death Or Incapacity" will allow my Executor or close family member to write the letter or make the call to alert one person who can inform all my SL friends. That person also has the right to sell our group land, and if they are given the password to my Avatar account(s) to retrieve funds, for what little RL-money benefit that would be (not being a business owner). It takes one SL friend who will trust you with their RL information or email address, and a person in your real life who will carry out your wish to have someone informed.
Isobel DeSantis Rechargeable ... Join date: 1 Jan 2007 Posts: 104	03-09-2008 23:03 Ten years ago (wow, so long ago!) I spent 2 years in ActiveWorlds. We had a friend called Kaci who had met a guy in AW. He'd travelled across the US to meet her IRL and they were engaged. Suddenly she stopped logging in. Her fiance tried to contact her for a month but wasn't able to travel to her for some reason. Eventually Kaci's brother got into her computer and found all the emails from this guy and contacted him to say she'd died of a heart attack a month earlier (she was just 35). A beautiful memorial garden was built for her that we all contributed to with messages and small builds and her fiance's av stood vigil there for 3 days until the memorial service, which was attended by her parents and brother. We actually managed to get over 100 people there, with no lag! It was my first experience of a rl death impacting online and quite a few of us exchanged rl contact details as a result. _____________________ http://slurl.com/secondlife/West%20Sunset/208/126/22 http://www.angelsblog.net/ A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices. ~ William James

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SL friends that died in RL?