Losing Friends

I happen to be going through my calling card list today and I noticed some friends I had not heard from in a while. So I went to my Friends list and found they were no longer there. So I started re-friending them and IMing them. The ones that IMed me back said they thought I dropped them, I didn't and they didn't drop me off their lists.

Anyone have any ideas as to what might be going on?

they dropped you from their friends list and don't wanna admit it would be my guess

I agree.
I "clean house" periodically and delete folks that I haven't heard from in a while. Doesn't mean I no longer want to be their friend, just not their "friend"

I tend to reserve slots on my friends list for people I would consider actual friends. Others utilize it as a list of contacts, friendly or otherwise. I think the reasons for getting added and droped are as varied as the people who use the list.

I often go through and clean out too.. and don't notify. But I have on one occasion had a friend deleted that I didn't remove and they did not remove me. I found out when they IM'd to ask why I had deleted them. Still not sure what happened there.. lol.

in that case my guess would be they meant to remove someone above or below you on their friends list and accidently removed you instead. by clicking too fast through the confirmation thing or somethin.

Stupid friends lists. It's more trouble than it's worth!.

I know who my friends are. I don't need to list the buggers.

It's like being at bloody kindergarten. "will u be mah frend plz?"

GrrrRRrrrRrr

It definitely needs a reworking. I'd rather see an enhanced calling card maybe, where you can file the profiles of people you choose for quick reference, TP, Inventory giving, etc.. Without the online notifications, or even knowing someone has added your card.

It would be a fantastic idea to have a super friends list and a contacts list. Calling cards are old fashioned.

What a cool idea!

LOL 2k , I actually agree with you.

this has happened to me too and I know they did not drop me, because one of them was my own alt

just seems to be a weird bug..

I'd be happy with the ability to make more than one list - say, friends, business contacts, enemies, opposing team captains, whatever you'd like. For folks who have long contact lists, that could be a real time saver.

go here vote for this
https://jira.secondlife.com/browse/VWR-890

over a year old, so yes, vote vote vote, and they might do something about it

At least that's what your alt TOLD you.

mmhmmm

This thread caught my eye because when I started on SL just a few weeks ago I was almost bombarded with people asking me to be friends. I said "sure" to everyone - thinking that they were all just really nice people.

Then I read somewhere that you shouldn't just let anyone be your friend unless you are really, really friends. So I went through my list and cleaned house too. Unfortunately I did delete a few people who were helpful to me, but I just wasn't comfortable beings "friends" with.

I didn't mean to offend any one - but it's hard, in the beginning at least, to know exactly who is there to help or harm. Getting ims everytime I logged on from these "friends" was somewhat uncomfortable. (of course that was before I found out that you could change the view option).

So why do people think they can ask for friendship after a few minutes of conversation?

It's a level of comfort I think. Some people can befriend everyone under the sun and be happy; others are a bit more guarded. People use that list different ways.

Some people haven't quite caught on yet- it happens mostly with newer folks

The friends list is a good idea and I'm sure a lot of people benefit from it, if only as a quick way of getting in touch.

I have a clear-out of faded contacts from time to time, but most of the friends left on my list I never see or hear from either. Perhaps it's me or maybe it's just the way of things.

How different would Friend-List Etiquette be if, instead of calling it a Friends List, it were called a Contacts List?

I have yet to remove a person from my Friends List ever. I often assume that when someone removes me from their Friends List (which I notice occasionally when looking over my Calling Cards), that they probably don't want to talk to me anymore.

Given the fact that Calling Cards remain forever, what purpose is there to have a Friends List that functions based upon with both parties continue to mutually list each other in the list? The only truly extra functionality of the Friends list, over Calling Cards, is that with the friends list you get to know when someone removes you from their list, so you can guess about whether you are being snubbed or not.

quoting myself, that's bad LOL

however I just wanted to point this out again, it is a jira on revamping the friends list thing, making it more useful etc, please vote, as hopefully they might do something about it

then again, it is over a year old, so who knows

(tell others too, to vote)

I go through and prune my friends list often also. My main reason is because I have it set to show friends online at the top of the list, and those people who I don't talk to...talked to once, or haven't talked to in months take up room at the top of the list. I like to do a single glance to see who is online.

A little story....I did delete a good friend once out of frustration. She was having crashing problems I suppose because the blue popup with her online status was constant....Online, Offline, Online, Offline, Online, Offline...every 10 seconds. I was working on a build and it was distracting me, already being frustrated with the build my simple solution was to delete her. She went absolutely insane when she figured it out later that night...after she was done bitching at me and creating drama with our friends and at my shop, I decided she was best left off my list.

I have pruned back my list a couple of times. What I do is create a notecard letting the person know that I am cleaning up my friends list and since I have not heard from them in a while, I will be removing them. If they would like to remain friends, just LMK or request it and I will accept. I've never had anyone offended. In fact, the other day, someone I had just met offered friendship and I declined. I told them that I like to keep my list pretty clean - people I associate with regularly or people that I feel could be good friends with in the future. I felt bad at first but she was very gracious.

I have lost someone off my list before though...I went to go ask my land owner something and he was not on my list. I IM'd him and he said he did not take me off either? I guess, just like everything else IW, things just disappear sometimes.

It happened to me too. A friend of mine (a very dear one) just vanished from my contact list. So i've been wondering if he removed me. I really would not understand why if he did so, because we got along very well. So a bug might explain that.
And the reason why some people you don't even know added you to their contact list might be that they go to these places where you get money when you tp people. When i had been in sl for a few days i accepted friendship from people i didn't know and then they constantly sent me tp offers. I tped at first, when i realized why they tped me i stopped. Not that i was upset about this way of making money, i just had better things to do than always tping to places that were not even interesting.