Map Stalking: the new polite thing to do?

Okay this is a bit of a counter intuitive thing, but stay with me on this. The map thread got me thinking about it.

As we all know, it's generally not nice to locate a friend on the map and just teleport over there with a click, and then say "Hai!!!!" on arrival.

Well, most of us know that. Perhaps some still might not realise what situations one might potentially drop in on. Yes, it's true, many live such 'ordinary' lives on the grid that the idea of anyone doing something... ah... 'private' simply doesn't register.

* * * * *

So... one simply messages a friend First, and they would say something like "Ah, I can't visit or entertain right now, I'm a little busy..."

And then you say "ok talk to you later!" and then you say "wrong window!" when your friend types something special into your IM, instead of where it should have been said. And everything's cool.


But! That's so 2005. Nowadays, I have friends that *let* me map them, and in fact sorta expect me to see where they are.

Let me give an example. Say I map somebody, and there is one green dot there, and they are shopping at Phil's Ultra Low Prim Mega Mall ~ An Entire Sim on One Prim! Everyone knows where that is because we all have been there, it's clearly just chill time. Well, I see that, and realise that hey, it's cool to IM.

Here's another example. Say I see the Artist waaay up in her build area place, and having been there before I know it's full of prim skirts and hats and other stuff, and there's 5 dots up there. Meaning: okay to IM, and it's all very casual time. Prolly other friends I know there too.

One last example: say I see someone on the mini map clearly at their private home, and one green dot is bouncing madly off the other one, and then after several seconds it stops, then the second green dot swaps around and starts bouncing on the first. At which point I say: "hmm... clearly they are testing a trampoline!" and think better of sending and IM at all.

I guess the point of all this, is that map stalking is now leading to less unwanted disruptions, more peace and less drama on the grid.

What do you guys think? Do you let "civil" friends see you on the map, knowing they will look before sending an IM during "after hours" times and whatnot?

Or is this just a phenomenon of a few close friends of mine?

hmm youve got me thinking, I let the people who work for me map me, as they are also close friends of many years and just wouldnt do the popping up thing "Haiii!!". I only instigated that because of that ghosting thing that kept occuring, so they could track my ghosty down and try to bump it off line.

I dont allow anyone else though, I spend time working, playing, often with those few close friends..so the need for anyone else to see where Iam, let alone begin to guess at what I may be doing..doesnt happen. Personally, I dont want people looking to see where iam and guessing if its ok to Im, let them Im and Ill tell them wether its a good time or not..or...I mark as busy and have a pop up that says "please contact mr, mrs,miss so & so as Im busy"

Fai

I agree the change in the mapping ability has definitely lead to a decrease in drama. As a rule, I don't allow anyone to map me. The only exception is my partner. I can map him, but rarely do. Everyone needs quiet time regardless what life you are in.

I think that 'stalking' is not the appropriate word. They have made a decision to allow you to see their location on Map. This is not the default.
I have a few friends like that. They just set it that way silently. Nobody mentioned anything about it.

I have preferred to remain inscrutable/oriental about it. I act as if I don't know where they are. I don't want to get in to guessing what they might be doing.

If someone IMs me and I'm tied up (so to speak). I just tell them that I can't chat right then. I expect them to do the same. If any of us don't respond to an IM immediately/soon, it is assumed that we are afk or occupied in something.

I don't allow anyone to Map me. Apart from - My alt can map me and v.v. just in case either of us become 'ghosts' somewhere.

With these new glasses, I thought it said "MAN stalking: the new polite thing to do?" Honestly, Des, for a minute there I wondered what had come over you.

THAT'S the very time to *not* IM the person - they may looking to buy something and we wouldn't want anything to take their mind off that, would we?

This makes me more curious about the map than my thread.

I'm a perpetual alt and so I never have mapping or IM problems.

I'm probably a little eccentric though as I never answer the telephone in RL.

Being too available to eachother isn't healthy. I long for the old days when we would bump into an old friend that we hadn't seen for years and be really happy about it. "Wow, what a coincidence! Fancy meeting you here!"

But these days our friends go visit the toilet and we know about it.

Thanks, Twitter!.

I think I'd feel more comfortable with having the ability to map a person turned on, if it didn't also mean that they can tp in on your location unannounced at will. Since it does, I use it quite sparingly, because you can't really know if the person you've just given that ability to is going to abuse it or not. Sure there are such wonderful tools as security orbs and the much-despised ban lines, but if you're someplace that has them, then why invite somebody to attempt to "just arrive" in the first place?

If it was being used for less intrusive things like Des suggests, such as saying "Oh, they seem to be up to something where I don't want to bother them with an IM" I'd probably allow a lot more people to do it.

I'm so private, I won't even let ME find myself on the map.

Ya know what feature I want?

I want smilies for the green map dots. Little ones!


So you can have, say, a silver dot if you are a bot.

Or you can have a little disco M&M guy if you are out dancing.

Or a green dot with a hammer and saw if you are building.


This is such a social networking "basic"... if you can indicate "friends" with a yellow dot, why not this?

You could even get the character of a region that way.

"Ooh, look at all the smilies holding whips..."

Only a handful of my closest friends -- people who I know and trust in both first and second lives -- get to map me. I appreciate all who have given me that ability as well, to the point of always asking first if I can map them, and only when it's been made clear that I should meet up with them.

As for yellow dots on the mini map or seeing someone on my Mystitool: I will often call out a friendly hi if I'm in an area where it is unlikely they're not doing something adult (and, given my friends, most are not going to be). I do not go over to them, generally speaking unless, again, I'm asked to.

My partners can map me, nobody else.

Even there, different people have different ideas of discretion. I had one person with whom I was deeply involved at the time, who had a disconcerting habit of popping in unannounced and finding me in situations that were...um, rather embarrassing. Not in flagrante, mind you. Just "hmm, I never expected to find you in a place like THIS" sort of thing. Nothing bad going on...rather like that charming picture of Marianne hanging out with a bunch of strippers. I was just THERE, for reasons having nothing to do with naughtiness...but even so, it was embarrassing.

My partner can map me thats as far as it goes, I once had to allow a friend to map me because of teleport difficulties (you know the score) and I had simply forgot to turn off the allow to map after, and next day he kept turning up in the sims i was in, I realised then he was mapping me all over SL, but keeping at a distance! and just lurking about in the sim. Was all a bit odd and I learnt my lesson most people give them an inch they take a mile, needless to say back to just partner mapping now!

What you're asking for is a decent "Presence" server. SL's is hopelessly lame, you can give your friends more information about contacting you via Yahoo Messenger, hell in 2002 you could give more info via Yahoo Messenger than SL supports! A single "Busy" flag, which has no corresponding icon on the friends list or map!! ARGH!!!!

Don't get me started!


(oh you did)

Eep! Sorry Nika!

Smooths fur back down...


As for letting people map me, I used to let EVERYONE map me... why not? But with 1000+ on a friends list I soon found that I can't do that, and also expect to log in. There's some kinda conflict.

Login hangs, and Spike Linden helped save me... the cure was deleting my friend list back down. I've had to do that twice in my SL life, and only let a few map me because of it. Sigh. But at least I can still log in.

Des

Aside from my alts having the ability to map me (ghosting fears) ... I only have a very small handful of my very closest friends who have the ability to map me. (I think I have 3 that can map me). I know that they would not track me and TP unannounced.

The problem that I *do* have ..... logging into SL ... and suddenly a barrage of IM's from friends who got the notice that I came in-world ... and they just want to say "hi." It's not like they didn't see me just a few hours ago. Why the need to IM me to say hello?

LOL!

Next time tell them about the 30-second rule.

With the exception of a little RP stalking game I play, no one has mapping privileges. They don't need it. I don't want theirs, either.

I give everyone map. Contrary to popular(?) belief... I'm never actually doing anything worth being private about. (^_^)y

Me too, I find letting people join me at any time is cool because it's fun to be together... You wouldn't catch me doing anything private 'cause I wouldn't do private stuff on a public site

I think one also has to delete the Friends calling cards from Inventory, but I'm not sure.

All my friends can map me but nobody ever does... haha

I'd love a status indicator that shows up on both the map and the friends list!

Who can map me:
My RL husband (he's also my SL partner)
My RL friends - and they have manners.. or I throw heavy things at them.
My close SL friends - not many of these, but they've proven that they have manners
And the Lindens I do have on my friends list. Though.. I think they can map me anyways >.<

But yeah.. I am not usually doing anything "private." But it helps if I'm building if you wait outside the workshop and let me acknowledge your presence before coming in