What makes a nice guy

Hello again. Thanks to everyone who gave suggestions to my last question even if it did not go the way I was expecting. I did meet a couple of guys I think were nice but then I got invited out to Barbados for a week and when I got back I had to go to Spain so I have not got very far although I met a handsome Spanish man called Pep which was funny since Pep here gave me the best advice. While I was away I got to thinking about what makes a nice guy like some of you asked last time. I think I said I wanted to meet men in sl who did not think they were Gods gift and who could pay me a compliment without calling me u.

So I thought I would ask you all to tell me what you think makes a nice guy in sl or what maybe makes someone not a nice guy which might help me not make mistakes.

I should say again that I am not intrested in meeting anyone outside sl to stop people from starting that again.

By the way someone suggested I should meet Jumpy. Is that Jumpman Lane because I have looked at his posts and you have got to be joking.

Another Pep? There can *not* be two of me. I'll sue!!!

Pep (I don't think there are any real nice guys in SL; treat 'em mean and keep 'em keen)

PS Yes, that's Jumpy, and yes, it was a joke

LOL, the one and only.

Welcome back and good luck on your search

I was talking about that this very morning with a friend. I have met 3 genuinely nice guys here so far (4 actually, because I know that one of the 4 is an alt for one of the others), of course they're all taken but I'm happy just being friends with them. It seems that the common thread is that they care more about the people around them and less about themselves, if that makes sense. The "preening peacocks" totally turn me off. The "nice" ones spend most of their time talking about others, offer help without strings attached and really seem to care. Good luck! Jackie

Um......the same qualities that make a nice guy in REAL life.

Even tho you don't plan on bringing the SL experience into RL....doesn't mean you deserve any less respect, courtesy and honesty from a person. I've met lots of nice people in SL......and you're sort of asking a loaded question, because noone can determine for YOU, what's going to appeal to you. We're all different....we all connect on slightly different levels. What one person sees as a nice guy....I might see as a sappy loser. Or maybe another person's nice guy......seems too stand-offish to me.....

The one common thread I CAN say, that has always been there with the people I've met and remained friends with.......is honesty. (and this is only my experience, but I also don't do romance so perhaps I am in a unique position since I don't make those demands on any relationship).....anyway....honesty......genuine, sincere behavior. The coolest people I know in SL......don't make the distinction between RL and SL....they are who they are......they have nothing to hide.....they're not trying to role play a different persona.....their just decent, cool people who happen to use SL as yet another social platform.

The only way that ya find that out.....is through time. After a while....as people grow more friendly and comfortable with each other....and conversations flow......you get a sense of continuity.....their story never changes.......their attitudes and opinions don't vary.....they are who they are. There are never any holes in their stories.....never any alterations of detail......that's where trust starts to develope.

On the other hand...... as soon as a person screws up their own story.....or starts vascilating on their views and opinions......It's time to step away.

Honesty is the only quality I know of, that has 'always' lead me to nice people in SL.

I'm not saying, that the people who are role playing....or in SL to fullfill a fantasy.....are NOT nice in their real lives......it's a lot harder to develope any kind genuine relationship or friendship with someone who's entering into it with ANY kind of falsehoods. That's the one thing that I've seen screw people up so bad in SL.....over and over and over again....they are so caught up in the fantasy of what they 'want' to be true......that they fail to see any realities about others.....and they get hurt.

So what makes a nice guy.....as far as I'm concerned....someone who isn't faking it in SL.

Your husband let you go away on vacation alone after all you said about him being so jealous?

Hahaha, April Fools?

In all seriousness, you might try taking things more superficially.

I'm not talking about being irresponsible or stupid, but about having fun.

.

I went with some of the other players wives to Barbados and I had to go to Spain with my husband. Its a bit late for April Fools.

@Seven What do you mean. I am not sure I understand.

I nice guy is:

- one that you can have fun with (exploring SL, building, shopping, cuddling, etc)

- enjoys talking with you (not just 'at you')

- compliments you realistically rather than just out of habit (i.e. a guy that tells you every day 'you look fabulous' is probably not really paying attention to anything specific about you, but just tossing the phrase out because he thinks he should)

- is interested in trying some of the things you like to do

- perks your interest to try some of the things he likes to do

So far... All the best guys I've met are in girl avatars. Well, except one in particular. But he turned out to be a she in RL. (^_^)y

A couple of whacks in the head usually do the trick.

I'm the template for Mr Nice Guy. How can I help?

The SL equivalent of "all the nice guys are gay"?

@LittleMe Thank you. That is helpful.

@Imnotgoing I am a bit confused but it sounds as if you have had a difficult time. If I find the magic bullet I will let you know.

@Brenda I am not sure what you mean. I am frightened by the thought of any violence at all even in a virtual world.

@Phil Perhaps you could describe what your nice characterstics are then

@Argent In London nowadays the saying is all the nice guys are bi which was much better before I got married

Well, you are quite welcome, Annabel! How interesting.....and I was sure that I would get a finger gesture thank you for helping you with that introduction to what's-his-name. You just never know.....do you.

And all the more reason to be asking this question! Good for you.

You have said this sort of thing a few times in the other thread. Who are you talking about.

People (using this instead of guys) with common interests are nice ... because you share common interests. While important offline, it is paramount on Second Life, where we have a limited interface.

When you share no common interests, this same interface makes people desire to move apart. Sadly, a high percentage of this movement is often not very pretty. It is easier to think someone a jerk, than to admit that they bore you to death.

ooops....forgot to leave my valuable tip.

One of the things that defines an amazing man to me.....is to watch how he treats others....the way he interacts with my friends, family, and even complete strangers.

The care he takes in communicating with them....showing respect for them....treasuring them, regardless of how different they may be from him....respecting the fact that they may have flaws....as does he....and showing empathy and concern with their struggles.

Yes, it's nice if he treats me like a princess.....but the true story of a man is told by how he treats others, as well.

She almost certainly means me Annabel.

Pep (She wouldn't have known that I had IMd you almost as soon as you posted your question.)

Thanks for explaining Pep. Thanks for the advice too Mickey though I am not sure how your description of Pep fits him.

--
Aes

Don't take any notice of Aeslyn, Annabel. She's paranoid and thinks you're my alt.

Pep (It's not personal; she thinks everyone is an alt; and she is not alone either )

Lots of Lindens and the right bits! ;o)

No problem. I am filthy stinking rich! Guys don't come any nicer than that