The dread secrets that lie behind the profile...

I have to agree with Qie. I think your friend met a suburbianite dentist. Other than Joe Walsh in "Life's Been Good Pt 2" I can't think of anyone claiming to be a middle of the road, boring average Joe for a cover story.

Somthing happened; disillusioned, hurt, desprate need for something more, whatever. Maybe someone called him an Oreo or Uncle Tom in RL and that flipped a switch in his head. Let your friend know she probably met the real deal ... what's happening now is some sort of game.

Meh, this is a sad story but there are far, far worse things that can happen.

Guys, imagine if one of your middle-aged, male, goof-off and do stupid guy-stuff pals that you've known for ages suddenly turned out to be a young, stunningly beautiful woman in RL.

Hang around the grid long enough, and a few of your male friends probably are...

Oh boy!!

Now you've done it.....

Now we're going to see guys in SL suddenly appearing a tad gay to their stupid guy-stuff pals as they ever so carefully explore to finds ways of checking if those pals are actually young, stunningly beautiful women in RL.

This is NOT going to end well.


Add:
....... particularly if those pals are closet gay males.

I don't see you as a dense/insensitive male at all.

You're right, we have no further info than what is provided here and there are always at least 3 sides to any story. Someone who can escape RL limitations in SL is great and changing skins, shapes, moving, whatever is not an issue for me.

I was responding to the alleged deception part posited by the OP and *if* that is the reason Dr. Dentist changed his persona, *then* I consider that not cool.

I don't care if the guy I talk to turns out to be a girl or the girl I talk with turns out to be a guy. If they are my friend then regardless of sex, age station in life etc they are ok in my book. I like the attitude and personality behind the pixels and put no expectations on them. Lawyer, Doctor, millionare.. meh, some may lie about these things and most probably are. Don't Doctors play golf and stuff for fun? Would SL really be a good distration for them? hehe

I realize seeking a SL relationship would change that dynamic for some though. Sorry to hear about your friend.

Thanks to all for the thoughtful responses, as always. You're the crown glory of the boards. The tough enamel of moral fibah. The roots of wisdom, even while gumming away. Incisorish and insightful, canine in your tenacity, with no cavity left un... un... uh... something. The guy was a jerk. And yes, my friend was naive. SL should come with a warning label: "This product may rot your emotional teeth." (Anybody wanna snuggle up for an inlay later? ) I'll bring the drinks: tastes great, less... I forget.

To me, in SL at least, it is not the shell they were, but how their spirit and heart fills that shell. From the text worlds to here that has always been my driving connection - the connection of spirit to spirit.

I have my issues with shells IRL - but in SL, the shells are just shells for the spirit - and you can truly tell who's spirit is real, or just a ego prop.

And of course the best thing about the interweb, no one can tell that you really are a mythical pixie behind the keyboard! *grins*

Like I have said time and time again.

SL romantic relationships suck ass! Yes in the good way and in the bad way!

BTW I am a dentist and I am just role playing.

On the serious note, my 1st life tab in my profile just has a few facts about me, it vaguely states my occupation, gives hints to my generation, and proudly displays my political affiliation. I really don't like to disclose other personal information other than what I have written in that little box until I really get to know someone.

But so many people want to know more about the rl us.

I have never been one to ask for RL pictures or ask rl questions, as the answers and images usually ruin my fantasy. But, if I feel the need to share my rl self with someone (a picture or feelings, etc) I always ask if I can share 1st.

A few SL friends know my real identity, a couple know where I work, and one friend of mine, calls me regularly.

I once met an avatar, who, in his noob skin became a very good SL friend of mine. He claimed to be an editor of a sporting magazine. Believing him was not an issue. I did not care what he did for a living, I enjoyed his company. But, he painted such a glamorous picture of his rl; I found it hard to believe. We had so much fun together, late at night, always during the end of the month. And, come to find out.... He really is the editor in chief of a sporting magazine.

I was clear with my SL gf from the start that I was married in RL..



And I'm a dentist.

and do you mow your own lawn?

I thought you said you were going to keep that a secret, blabber-mouth

no, my lawn is emo, it cuts itself

CLASSIC!!

Not all dentists fit some sort of stereotype.

How does this stuff on his profile prove he is not really a dentist?

There are young dentists too, who may like MTV and Borat.

I'm sorta lost here. Can we get some more info please?

Clarification: apparently he was indeed a dentist, whose original profile was mild-mannered, rather Clark-in-the-phonebooth stuff, which he later changed to include a portrait of himself as "Borat-in-Compton-by-the Sea", along with lyrics from... something. Anything past Jerry Garcia - I'm lost. Someone not knowing his earlier incarnation would form a rather different impression of the fellow. It was his rather - to my mind - regressive choice of personae that stuck in my mind. EAch to their own, however.

FWIW, when asked what gender I "really" am, I usually answer that yes, I'm really a male. In fact I'm two males, brothers, Ralph and Vinnie, in Bayonne, NJ, taking turns at the keyboard. "HEY VINNIE! GET UP HEAH! MY BUTT'S KILLIN ME!".

This despite my having birthed three kids... ah, the memories of my episiotiomies...

i don't disagree totally with a little stretching of the truth..it IS "second "Life..however...when that little or THOSE little white lies grow and threaten to hurt someone then yes..it's a bad thing..I mean..if I'm in SL to hook up RL..then stretching the truth will eventually come back to bite me in the arse.

However...if how i dress and look and wether or not I'm a furry or male or female reflects who I am on the inside..and that makes my SL better then I think its ok.

that almost doesn't make sense to me..anyone else explain to me what I just typed?

~Lana

I love this post! Thank You!

Personally I try to be my RL self in SL, I don't have the energy or will to build a whole new persona that is based on fabrication, even it might appear to be more appealing. Apart from anything else, I am very comfortable with who and what I am in RL, and the same goes for SL. But I do react to SL in different ways to RL - they are different environments!

That said, I have no problem with people living in SL as a fantasy world, it is a safe place for some people to interact with other people, be a successful business owner, or be the the ultimate socialite just bt sitting in your mother's basement. The RL world is somewhat more constrained, and does not react to fantasists quite as well.

If you do form a relationship that feels like RL, you have to remember that RL is different! A simple example is that people in RL speak faster, and say what they think faster, and it could be VERY different from what they would type, and VERY VERY different from what they would construct in a profile on the interweb.

Some who form relationships, romantic or just friendship, use voice, don't forget that. With my close friends and partner, heck even that noobie who was fresh off OI, I use voice.

So...

Not very different if you add voice into the equation.

Say "AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!"

As an aside - you know, you guys can really avoid a whole lot of drama by playing a kid...

It made sense to me. And I pretty much agree with it. Should I be worried?

Eveline: I'm gathering your friend got jilted by this guy? If so, sad for her misadventure, there are jerks everywhere, RL and SL. There are also great people mixed in, the trick in both worlds is to sort them out correctly.

However, I really don't see what his profile has to do with it. If your friend was really close to this guy, I hope she wasn't depending on his profile for a true reflection of who he is!

I regard people's picks, profile description -- everything except the 1st life tab -- as hints as to the sort of things they're currently into, nothing more.

And I take most of what I see on 1st life tabs with a grain of salt.
.

Excellent point. If you are getting deeper into a relationship, and forming emotional attachments, you have to take steps to know the person on the other side beyond what a profile tells you.

SL is emo world.

There are many people that believe in "connecting" on a spirtual level. And anybody that puts up resistance is just a shallow pig.

"Love me for what's on the inside!" said the land bot.

I agree with the sad truism "there are jerks everywhere".

I know people who've met in SL, then met in RL (after the obligatory exchanging of photos, chatting with each other on the phone, etc). Such meetings seem to have the same success rate as more usual methods of meeting people with shared hobbies. I know two RL moved in/married success stories, and a few others that are ongoing Relationships.

So it can work, but really, one need get to actually meet the fellow before you start naming the children.