Long Distance SL Relationships

Believe it or not, I have been waiting to meet you in world. You see, with the name HoneyBear I'm not sure if you have a kid AV or not. I should have just asked but I did not want to look like a dumbass. Instead I'm just an ass. Please forgive my oversight, but I am new to the forums and I keep getting lost … in your eyes. If I could give you a rose for every time I thought of you, you would be walking in a garden forever.

Nimue, you are your own list. When you are listing all the wonderful things about the world, do you think to include the world? No, ofcourse not. She is one of those all encompassing things. The sun is a star, but you never really place it in the list of stars bucause it is so vital to our very being and continued existance.

And so are you, Nimue.

That was very kind Yosef, even if I had to fish for it.

Well Robertt if you love her then you make it work,i have many good sl friends that are in america and partnered to dutch loved ones,they make it work and are happy,im in the uk and my sl hubby is also dutch so only 1hr infront he is also my rl b/f now and has been since april last year,believe me when you spend enough time together to want to partner you make it work.

See, Robertt, the most important thing is to be clear of your feelings and where the both of you actually do want to go. I am not saying that pure SL relationships can't work out, but it always does take comitment, time, planning in the case of various timezones and just so many other things, and, most importantly, you'll start feel more and more for the woman on the other side. Then, once you get to know her better and better, once you spend more and more time, it is a rare thing to not at least have that slight curious interest into actually meeting up.

If you're not absolutely, positively sure you won't be meeting up ever, or sure that you COULD meet up without any problems (like RL partners, or those other pesky things), don't do it.

Those feelings you're experiencing, and going to experience, are just as real when they are on SL as they are in RL.

That's a good summary.

In my experience, these work when (1) both people are on the exact same page as to where they want the relationship to be (both in terms of casual vs more involved and in terms of staying in SL vs. not) and remain on the same page, (2) you have enough flexibility to manage the time zones and (3) you also have enough flexibility not to ruin each other's lives due to the time zones (ie, you don't have expectations of seeing each other every single day, which with an 8 hour time difference is hard to swing without someone arranging their RL around it, which starts having the Sl relationship work its way into RL through the back door).

Most importantly, proceed carefully and slowly. Relationships generally tend to go at a lightning pace in SL because there is little in the way of RL "friction" (like chores, jobs, kids, other time commitments) to slow things down, and because in a text-based relationship people tend to disclose themselves more quickly because the medium they are dealing with encourages that. However, it's very, very easy to get ahead of yourself by moving too quickly. Sl creates the illusion of knowing someone better than you, in fact, do -- and this can lead to disappointment and pain at some stage if you don't manage it well. The rush of the beginning of a new SL relationship is certainly appealing, but the crash can be quite annoying as well if you take things too quickly, as many do due to the nature of the medium and how it encourages that. So in my opinion it's best to move slowly, be careful, and resist the speediness that SL encourages and try to get to know her over the course of a bit more time.

I keep SL,, and RL, totally separate!!!!!

I only exist in SL and I tell this to anyone who wants to know me better in-world from the outset!

Awwww....sweet! Ty

And if you're really waiting to meet me, come to the club sometime...I'm usually there every night!

In my experience, if your RL relationship is good you can't get entranced into an SL relationship. If your relationship is breaking down, it was already shaky. Even if you didn't realise it.

When I say "in my experience" I really do mean in MY experience.

QFT, and how.

so nice to hear this... It's always very heartening to know that some SL rs DO transform into RL rs..and yours is the 3rd or 4th I heard this far!

Well, for me and my SL partner, LDR is fine...so far...if we both make it a point to commit. We are 7 hours apart and I have to get up @ 7am my time while he stays up late till 6am almost every Sat. the only thing I have to grapple with is the fact that I want more from our rs whereas he is just satisfied with a sl one...so... It's torturous enough to just think about this problem...

and yosef, I must admit you are indeed so darn good with words....hehehe...but I tell you, I'm a weirdo...the more sweet-nothings a guy say to me, the more insecure I feel about him. I'd prefer honest communication and thoughts, which thus, makes my SL partner shine as an individual!

Stories like this terrify me.

These success stories ... very very scary!

I'm just at the beginning of this process, spent time with my SL friend recently for 1 week in NYC. She is in USA, I am in UK. The time together was very good. Though I too agree that the possibility of being together in the future is very very scary! I'd much prefer life to be much simpler, but it's not.

Basically I just want to be happy and be with someone I love, if it involves transatlantic mess, so be it.

Why would one Computer Game Addict want to be with someone who is also addicted to a computer game?

Who will work and make money ..and take out the Garbage?

The stench would be unbearable....

I did ask her if she could wash and cook… j/k, but your right, valid point. However, I'm a much more together person, cleaner, more efficient, etc in a relationship than when I'm living alone.

Meh. You've seen how tidy I am in SL, albeit briefly. Think I am that tidy RL?

Think if I had something better on the cards RL I'd be in SL as much?

Someone might get a clean tidy house out of all this.

Yep.

You're scaring me too

Are you hitting on me?.. haha

I wouldn't dare ...

smart move, if I were you I wouldn't hit on me either..