The drama of "Leaving SL"

Those owned by SL never die - like old soldiers they just fade away....

It only seems like they fade away. They actually remain the same. It's just that newer video cards and engines/apps cause them to pale by comparison.

or the mesh on their avatar clothes goes invisible due to another update

ROFL...

Snark... maybe you are right. You have been here longer than I and as such have proly seen more- Myself, I have only seen the ones saying they will leave come back in other incarnations or return as themselves with a different outlook.. It may well be I will poof tomorrow and not return - as Jimmy Buffet would say, only time will tell...

I think it's ok to tell people you're taking a break or you need some time for real life, or even that you're leaving if you really are leaving for some reason, but the overblown dramatic, "Nobody loves me, I'm leaving" thing, complete with a dramatic return at a later date is just silly. It's juvenile, and nobody buys it.

Oh, and one more thing: Nobody here loves me, everybody hates me, I'm so sad and I'm leaving. Screw you people. I hate you all and I'm never coming back!

I'm back.

Who is this guy? Alt Aaybe?

And who is he?

And where are we?

This should be changed from

the drama of "Leaving SL"

to

"Learning how to Leave Drama in SL"

Which is a much handier skill.

Wow awesome replies... thanks! I took the last event at face value and completely understood. The thing that had me curious was when she had to delete everyone from her friends list and hide her profile. That seemed extremely odd not to me and had me wondering if it was to cut all ties or was she really still online and just hiding.

Whatever... I am just mad because she didn't give me her stuff

Bugger, he's back...
I guess we all have to pretend to love him again now

/me sweeps her hand to her forehead and collapses to the floor...

Oh! the drama!

....


Can someone help me up? I should never have tried that in my granny av.....

You came back too soon, I was still planning your wake.

I've seen lots of people "leave SL forever." Most have come back.

I suspect some of it is a general reaction to being fed up with issues in SL (like a lot of people who left during Copybot in late 2006), while some want people to beg them to come back, to others who.. well... who knows?

Mari

Awwww thanks Bilbo... didya miss me? I left for a while, but you see, I didn't tell anyone...

I don't mean to be derogatory to anyone if they leave and have genuine and valid reasons for leaving. I have just seen so many big trumpeted 'Departures' in my time... and sometimes really really nasty ones, like supposed suicides, the message that "He was in a car crash and is in a coma now" type things posted by alts, reported deaths that weren't deaths at all, terrible diseases, plus the "nobody loves me so screw you" type announcements.

Large pinches of salt needed always in online life.

imogen

Damn.

I would have liked to attend that. I love a good wake, and my own should be a doozy!

Claire - if you stop pretending to love me, I'll just leave again and then come back. This time I might come back riding a white horse and wearing armor.

Hmmm...I wonder if there's a "Knight in Shining Armor" Avatar. I bet there is. I think I'll go looking tonight. If not, maybe I'll try to make one. Sir Troutsalot of the oval table, at'cher service. Maidens wooed, chivalry dispensed, dragons dispatched (except for the good ones - I'm sort of partial to Talarus and the hippie-trippie guy who's name I can't remember how to spell).

I'm sure some of it is drama, as others have pointed out. I think some people delete to avoid temptation. Out of sight out of mind kind of thing. I did this with my first sl account years ago. I just didn't have time for it and completed deleted everything. I intended on coming back when my life settled down a bit though and thus, I ventured back in world with a new account. Everyone is different and have different ways of dealing with things, it is always difficult to understand why someone does what they do, but the way I look at it is if they are creating drama and it begins to surround me.......I try to disappear from them (this does not include friends seeking help with their drama, advice or just an outlet to vent - there is a point where being a good friend to someone dealing with drama is different then someone creating drama and dumping it on you). I don't need other peoples drama, if they just need a break then they should do so in what ever means suites them.

I've not had it happen here, but else where, I've had friends leave for various reasons. The close ones have simply said to me, "I'm just not able to take this anymore, but you are too good a friend to not tell this to. I'm considering leaving the <insert game here> until my RL settles down. I don't know if/when I might be back, but..." I don't ask too many questions, and if they are my friends, they know this. I'll simply say, "RL is far more important. If it's only a break you need, take it. If you then feel the need to leave, I wish you luck and a long life. And if you do come back, I'll be happy to see you again."

Oh, I've had my share of the drama queens, though. Usually, they get the response of, "Don't let the door hit you on the way out." I'd ask for their stuff, but usually by then, they've huffed themselves into oblivion as far as I'm concerned. Maybe I should change the order of the comments, huh?

I've also had some simply vanish. Wondered where they were and then put them out of my mind. Sometimes, months down the road, I might find out what happened and why, but not always. That's just how life is and the virtual life doesn't seem to be any different.

I have to agree with those who have seen people leave and come back. Some very dramatically, having a friend conference with everyone on their list and proclaiming to everyone they are leaving. Most everyone comes back.

I actually took a beak once for a couple months, I think its a good thing to do, ween yourself off the game and realize how much extra time you could devote to other things.

What's the big deal about leaving SL..?

I've gone and come back and yes I did cash in and delete my account.

It was no real big drama, and it wasn't because I hated SL, and it wasn't because I wanted to upset my friends.

I simply became boredwith SL, work became busy and I just didn't log in for weeks at a time because I had better things to do (in my opinion obviously).

Deleting an unused online account (yes even if you and your avi are one) is actually a very sensible and security conscious thing to do.

I'm not hiding anything, when I came back I immediately contacted everyone I wanted too, and yes there were some I didn't bother to.. does that make me bad....?

To be honest I don't have many friends (no surprise there ), and those I do have, I keep in contact with in RL anyway.

At the end of the day, to me at any rate, an avi is just another online account. When I stop using the service I cancel the account.

The upside is that since I have this very simplistic approach to things, I don't have the wit for multiple alts.. so I guess if you see me then I'm here, if you don't then I'm not..

ha at least once a day I am ready to leave SL forever. Then my bad memory kicks in and I can't remember why I was leaving so I stay...

/slides Trout a beer

What kept you?

If I ever do decide to leave (not likely, tho I may have to take breaks or scale down my land as RL becomes more demanding) I'll just go. I'd probably let a couple of my closer friends know.....but really I'm not one for making a big to-do about anything. Especially a cyber community I choose to hang out in for fun. If I go I go.

But....I know a few folks who have 'left' SL due to the way it has affected their personal life at home......they were secretive about certain things and it backfired. Bad idea to do that in any context....but I've seen folks really get hurt due to their need to keep SL and RL seperate. Yeah, it IS seperate...but when you have to hide what you do on-line from those you love, there's a problem. I think a lot of people who delete and come back as alts, may be dealing with that kind of issue at home. They don't want to give up SL....but they can't continue certain activities or relationships without it destroying their RL.

The reason I think this is my own RL situation. I am in a very happy relationship IRL and tho my fiance loves gaming per say, he is completely turned off by SL. He sees no point to it unless I happen to find a way to become wealthy....he just doesn't get it at all. Yeah he's 'seen' it....he even helped me create an avatar that looks like me....and he understands my fascination with it for being creative. But I would never do anything in SL that I felt I needed to hide from him. I don't get involved in pseudo relationships and I don't get so emotionally involved in SL that it is any threat to my RL. My fiance would be horrified and severely pissed off if that were to happen, and I woudn't blame him. Anotherwords, I don't take risks in my SLife at the expense of my RL. But I think a lot of people do....and when it backfires......they leave, or create alts...and maybe are a little too embarassed or ashamed to tell their SL buddies what's really hapening IRL. *shrug*

Well, *that* was fast. And here I was going to ask you to hold my purse to lure you back in-world.

Would it be mean to say I have a a person in mind that I think leaving the game maybe a good way for them to go?

There is mention in another post about a ritual of leaving for closure.

There is also the little bit about if you really leave, and cancel your account, the name of the person that left will leave everyone's friend's lists and the profile will be "hidden" as in not findable. As the name is no longer in the system. Well, that is what I have noticed when I've seen people leave, and knew they had canceled their accounts. Maybe the name isn't completely removed from the system, just removed from the active database.

It's not like leaving is a bad thing in and of itself. People leave for any number of reasons. I think if you have made close friends, you ought to let them know, just so that they don't worry, but the problem is when people do the big "OMGZORS! I'M LEAVING" thing and make a big dramatic deal to try to get a bunch of sympathy or attention.

From your post, it's pretty apparent that you didn't do that, but I'm sure you've seen people pull this stunt before. Funny how they never really leave. They always show back up a little later. Drama is no fun if you actually leave and aren't around to witness it.

Plus, if you leave and come back, it's good for a free beer from Joseph! *lifts his glass* Cheers!