The drama of "Leaving SL"

Within the past few months three people out of the people I am friends with have left SL. The first two I weren't close with... they were just friends of a friend sort of thing. One claimed he was spending too much time on SL and the other claimed her rl friends told her she didn't spend enough time with her. They both left all their groups. The funny thing was a couple months later they both came back.

The next one I was pretty close with. We went in on land together and all and a few of us lived there. One day she was all into it and the next she announced she was leaving SL because she just didn't have time for it and it was too expensive anyway. I suggested she just sell the land like she was doing anyway and to just stop in to say hi every so often. She said no because she was leaving for good. The strange thing is that she took all of us off her friends lists and hid her profile. If you are really GONE from SL why do you need to take people off your friends list and hide your profile? Sounds kind of sketchy.

Am I missing something here? If you are spending too much time here/ just don't have the time for it or can't afford the land, why not just go basic and hang out when you CAN? I stay pretty busy, but there is always a rainy Sunday here and there (ahem... like today) where all you wanna do is explore or chat with friends on SL (or post on the SL forums ). Why all the mysterious drama about leaving and not coming back??? I have been here for over 2 & 1/2 years and yeah I have taken breaks when busy etc, but I never made a whole big production out of it and I DID come back as I knew I would.

I'm not so much looking for an answer as I think the reason is that these people are looking for attention... maybe people to plead with them not to go. Maybe drop to their knees when they get back hmm? I just think it would be interesting to read YOUR stories and see what your opinion is on this.

I think you got it in one... Drama.

I have been online for a longtime now and find that a lot of people really love being dramatic. The ones who really leave for good often don't tell you they are going, they just go. And quite a lot of those people aren't really going at all, but are changing identity, or moving to other applications.

Of course, some people genuinely find they are spending too much time online and need a break or a rest, but they will often return, as you have found.

my two cents

imogen

Can I have her stuff?

That reminds me... I have to find an emo friend that owns land. Some people I know have made tons of L$ just by knowing someone else that got too deep into SL only to drop out and dump their inventory/monies off on others. (=_=)

Me? Still basic with payment info. Still riding on the $9 I started with. Still leeching the system for entertainment and the social life I never had. (^_^)y

If you hang out in SL long enough you are bound to do something that mortifies or shocks you, hence the response "I have to quit!" I think some folks who make that announcement are reacting to the feeling of having a crossed a line or done something embarrassing. It's not that they are bored with SL or are getting busier in RL, in which case they would just keep an avatar, its more like they feel they HAVE to stop, and stop completely, like swearing off booze after a very bad night.

It's a shame for all the people who know them, when someone goes through all the 'drama' of leaving SL. Now matter what people say, it's unlikely you will ever know if the reasons they give actually are the real reasons for their decision.

I had one who left because of his wife, I guess he was doing stuff his wife caught him doing...He left me all his money when he left. Which helped me with 200 uploads.
I miss the friend but I found others.
There has been times where I have thought about this.
I think some people just get fed up and move on, its not always about wanting to create drama, it is just things change and they want to tell those who are closest to them.

I know someone who did leave sl. He gave way to much personal information out about himself to someone that he shouldnt have. It just about destroyed his rl marriage. The poor guy does miss it a lot and sneaks in every now and then just to say hi. I feel bad for him because he is a nice guy. It was not just drama, it was traumatic for him. /me shakes her head at the way some people can be so nasty.

yep drama says it all
see it a lot in forums when forum members announce they are leaving heh

I for one, when I decide it is time to move on, just simply move on

no good bye, no see ya, no nothing, just gone
(anyone who knew me in other games, such as diablo2, wow, city of heroes, star wars, and other lesser known games, will know I just leave, vanish, disappear)

there was one game, I played for almost 3 years, was admin on, helped development etc, and just suddenly, I was gone

the creator emailed me about 6 months ago to see how I am doing heh

but other than that, no contact with anyone

then again I kinda did the same thing in RL about 11 years ago... just up and left my home, my friends and my family, moved over 1000 miles away, then a few days later called my dad and said guess where I am... I have not seen him since then, and he passed away a few years ago... I learned the hard way, in RL at least say good bye, cuz you may not get the chance again. (a couple friends and 2 of my brothers knew I was leaving at the time, my mom has passed away a few years previous to me leaving)

I quit. I just didn't tell anybody.

I quit this forum too about a month ago. My monkey has been posting for me.

Gotta go. He knows I'm in here.

Gives him a banana and a few figs on his way out the door

Hey Imogen!! nice to see you post again

Shanna, I think if you consider SL as a microcosm of RL, you're going to find the drama queens, the ditherers, the undecided, the opinionated, the over-self-righteous, the true heros, the do-gooders but moreover, the honest-to-god average folk just out to enjoy a virtual life. I think you're going to get the same cross-section of society in SL as you do in RL ... except maybe for the third of the world who are hungry.

Besides possible drama, I wonder if people actually need to go through the ritual of removing themselves from SL in that way in order to really feel like they are leaving. Perhaps its a way to remove temptation and get some closure.

I sense a lot of people really get into SL and it starts to take over RL. I think that that point people need a huge reality check... and if they find their RL is suffering its wise to select their RL over SL.

This wouldn't be the first "game" to do that to someone, but I think the appeal of SL might be a bit different than most gamer addictions. It probably hits a lot of people who didn't realize what was happening until they had a reality check of some kind.

I hope to have my reality check soon. A runin today with a less than patient land owner has me wondering if it isn't time (for me AND him). When it is I'll be sure to let all my alts know before I leave.

I don't agree that it's all about drame at all. With some it may be that, but with others it's likely to be that they want to tell their friends that they won't be around any more. It would be a bit disappointing if a good friend left without mentioning it.

I'd rather someone tell me they are leaving then just vanish.Especially if it was someone I "thought" was a good friend.And if they come back in a month,so what? Maybe they just needed a break.

No one that this has touched really leaves...
they may say they do... but there are alts... once SL owns you - it owns you- no one leaves...


I heard the I am leaving story more than once- if they really leave - they were never here.

A good point Rioko and on that score, I'd like to apologise for my seemingly derogatory remark about drama queens. It wasn't intended as such.

My point to put it in context is this. When I first tried to give up smoking, I told people I was giving up. Of course, this attracted observers and reporters who took great delight in spilling the beans of my repeated failures.

When I did successfully give up, it wasn't by standing on a soapbox and saying "I'm giving up", it wasn't by going into the tobacconists and telling them not to sell me any more cigarettes. I did it by simply not lighting another one.

I think many of these announcers of giving up are doing it more often than not to convince themselves this is the right decision.

Amaranthim has a point too though .. I think you'd need an exorcist to get me out of SL.

I blame television - lots of people are hooked on dramas force-fed to the masses and it must have effect I think.

I have seen too many scenes in SL that could have been snipped straight out of an episode of Desperate Housewives, etc...

Don't even get me started on Jerry Springer or Oprah

when I say drama I was thinking more along the lines of coming to the forum and making a huge to do about it

of course ppl should tell their friends that they are leaving, if they are really leaving

just do not come here to the forums, or run around with it over your head stating you are leaving... that is ... drama

/me totally agrees. Plus all the so-called 'reality' shows that america has blessed the world with.

I don't see how the drama in the forums is any different to any other drama except that more people get to see it i suppose.

In world drama circulates amongst groups of friends like wildfire as the victim seeks allies against the person who has committed the percieved wrong, so again a wide impact - though perhaps not as wide, nor as public and definitely not as permanent.

Amen to that!

QFT

It is. We *all* go through times when we'd like to leave. The more robust shake it down and put a new path in front of them. Some have alts. Some get even more boring than they were Some live here instead ...

Some people just like being made a fuss of ...

Not to pick on you, Amaranthim, but I've often heard this, even said it more than once, and it simply isn't true. Our interests roam, it's part of what makes us human. We are curious animals, searching out new experiences, focusing attention, perhaps even obsessing. It's what drew us to SL in the first place. And when we tire of the experience, or are distracted again, it's what will draw us away.