SL as an alternative to self-destruction

I figured that this was probably the most appropriate place to post something like this.

Back when I had only been IW for about three months, I got some pretty bad news. (Bad news, in the teenage sense... IE, my girlfriend was cheating on me) Instead of hurt myself in some way (slamming my head against a wall, cutting myself, etc) I took my aggressions out on my AV. I took every object I had with a blade, and stuck it through my AV. I was surprised at how much better it made me feel. (The others around me at the time were... just surprised.) I've personally never cut myself, but head slamming used to be one of my personal favorites. It let me get out my aggressions on myself without actually hurting myself.

Another method I've used in SL is climbing to the top of the nearest structure and jumping off of it. Once again, I take my suicidal desires out on myself, but not myself. Dionysus Starseeker has become such a part of me that I can do that. It starts to make me blur the lines between SL and RL, but I guess it's for the best.

I guess I'm just wondering if anyone else does this. Maybe I'm just asking for a opinion on the matter. Hell... maybe I'm looking for pity. I don't know...

I don't know how insane this would put me on the psychological spectrum, but it has always seemed to work for me. Even when I'm very stressed out, flying my AV into the side of a building seems to calm me down. I'm sure it isn't a very healthy outlook on life, but with SL, it seems more appropriate. So, either SL is keeping me from hurting myself, or it's fueling an acceptance for my feelings which may turn out with a negative result in the end.

People often forget that there are real people behind the AVs with real emotions. Just like EZ Money was blamed for his actions. EZ Money didn't do anything; his puppetmaster did. My AV may be pierced with blades, but perhaps it's only a representation of how I feel. Death in SL is without consequence...

(Sorry, I've never been good with staying on topic... at least it's all related)

Whatever works for you - if it helps somehow it must be good. I'm a bit suprised that your anger is focused on yourself and not at your girlfriend. Not that it should be, I guess.. but it seems atypical.

I kind of know what you are talking about. If you think you are insane I'll offer up my insanity. I was extremely depressed for a while and didn't eat for over a week and stuff. I was playing DAOC at the time, and the way I got over my problems was to let my DAOC character play me in RL, in the same way that I would play her normally.

She was always happy, never got angry and not depressed so if I felt crappy I let her take over and I felt better right away. It's a kind of split personality I guess.

And yes, my character was a girl, and I'm a guy so sue me!

Now I stopped playing DAOC and I'm kind of sad she doesnt get to take over much anymore.

I've always thought of entertainment in general to be the best way to relieve any stress. The fact that you can relieve your stress through SL makes me cherish it even more. ("it" being SL, not your stress)

Just imagine if falling off a building in SL actually meant somthing with big consequences. Like "Omg! Dio's on top of that skyscraper, we gotta get him down!" and like a flash mob of people are forming a semi-circle behind you while you stare down towards oblivion and everyone's like "Dio don't do it!"

But that wouldn't be quite as fun or stress relieving, now would it, haha!

i usually take out my aggression on the nearest monkey. Derek i'm looking at you..

I was bored and uninspired recently and for some unknown reason decided to "cut" my avs arms.

Now, this is something I'd never do irl. I wasn't feeling upset or angry and had no ideas or intentions of hurting my real life self.

I have to say it was an interesting and sort of oddly rewarding experience. I really upset some people and made others wonder about my real life self. It was kind of fun shaking things up a little. My av still sports the cuts if you have any interest in seeing. I have no idea how long I'll keep them on.

"Second Life - psychiatrists recommend it."

Well if anyone gets a look at my av, which most already know, its a true representation of my RL mood.

Dark, ominious and well evil looking lol.

Aside form that, my av usually depicts my moods, as well as the projects I am working on, the wilder and crazier the projects are, the worse my mood is etc....

But if it weren't for SL I think my mood would be much worse IRL, as the issues that I and my son are dealing with are quite overpowering. Not to mention I met my RL sweetie here, thats definatly a plus SL has for me. If it weren't for her and some real good friends on here, I would most likely be much worse off RL.

For me SL is my psychiatry .

wow...I have got to get one of my friends (ok, I want all of them on, but...) into this. She's trying to figure out what she's going to write her psych dissertation on.

More than enough nutjobs around here for research...

(including myself!)

I guess I am the REAL sicko here. Cause if I get in that kinda mood Dio, it's not my Av I will try to hurt. It would be me. I know this from RL experience. However, Sl is prolly the one thing keeping me from getting in that kinda mood right now. The anti-depressants help a little too.

What really gets me out of my blue period of the day is something new to discover and think about. I love taking my stress out on the SL sims... through the physics engine more accurately . Many probobally know of at least something ive done in olive to lag everyone into submission (large chains, automatic physical building rezzors, completely physical vehicles, joints (MWAHAHA!), and the like).

Im probobally gonna be the person who enjoys the implimentation of havok 2.2 the most, since... everything will become more real-looking!

I also like long walks on the immaculate beach and throwing my av off builds as well

Without going into specifics, SL has caused more stress in my life than releived. With the drastically lowering stipends and trying to figure out what to delete, problems with neighbors, MAJOR stress related to the Themed Communities, and yes, taxes.

I thought my RL experiences had prepaired me for about anything.....boy was I wrong.

However, I love SL, have WONDERFUL friends here, and no matter what I say in the heat of battle, I will NEVER leave.


-TK

ps....is this even on subject ???

Yes, I too have experienced more grief from said Themed Communities than any dumb little noobie griefer type.
But the Lindens always side with them.
Fear the Linden-backed griefers.
I am actually quite a happy person IRL, and I was 101% motivated for my project, but every day that goes by I get more and more sick of this game and disgusted by some of its players.
Now they have gotten to the point of harassing some of my friends who had kindly agreed to help me out. What next? Only time will tell.

I think a lot of us look to SL as a peaceful refuge from a hectic (or just temporarily crappy) life, and that is the source of a lot of the very most bitter disputes. We just need to keep remembering that behind that av you are pissed at, there'a another person probably a lot like us, sitting in front of their own computer after their own screwed up day. Having said that, I absolutely love flying my av into brick walls and making the sparks fly and dropping it from 500 meters.

I feel the same way as Tracey and Eggy. I've experienced more stress and frustration then I ever cared to experience from an online "game". It's gotten so I don't even take any pleasure from going IG any longer. No way to relieve stress IRL or ISL anymore. What to do, what to do?

I'm not sure SL has saved me from self-destruction either, or rather self-neglect. Since I started playing here, dishes stack in the sink longer than ever, I'm not sure if I even still have a vacuum cleaner, and pigeons have taken up residence on my porch. In addition all my creative and emotional energy seems to flow into the game and little is left over for my real job.

That being said, I wouldn't have wanted to miss this amazing opportunity, to throw off all the RL body related shackles, be whatever I want to be, and create something as soon as it pops into my mind. And I've made so many friends here, it (almost) makes up for that lack of a significant other in RL.

To Eggy-

If you are referring to any of the Kazenojin, let me know, I will not tolerate intolerance! We cannot expect to achieve world domination by being impolite.

Yes, I'm the same way. Although I'm pretty new to SL, I find that it's a temporary refuge from reality. Although we have to respect the other players, there's an opportunity to get rid of tensions. Yesterday I jumped from a tower too! Same one? Very cathartic.

And Madox, one of my Avs is female too. I see the Av not as a representation of me, but a representative. It's my personal servant in SL, doing whatever I need it to do. Having a female Av is no stranger than playing Tomb Raider or Perfect Dark.

Wow, I never knew what disturbed people we had here

I'm quite a happy person IRL, and SL has never added any stress to my life at all. I love SL, of course, but I don't allow myself to love it to the point where it has the abillity to interfere with my real life, becuase this is entertainment, and I believe it should stay as such.

I have a wonderful girlfriend who doesn't cheat on me that often ( ) a pretty good job, some nice friends, and enough money to eat dinner every day. I'm happy.

Sometimes, though, my sister is a bitch... that's when I log on and blow stuff up. When I get bored, I log off and realize that the universe is a big place, and my sister really isn't that big of a problem.

I think everyone would be surprised what a mild-mannered person I am IRL. SL is the place where I show my inner insanity, and that alone is entertainment.

lol no, Ananda, I dont think tracey or me were talking about kaz
and darwin... so this is the place where you show your inner insanity? no shit sherlock
I think you are doing a wonderful job so far.

As an addendum to my previous post...

I got contracted to build a sufficiently "powerful" system for said friend, that she may hop on and check SL out. Yay me.

Unfortunately, that bitch Isabel has killed my home access line to the internet. Anybody know of a way to build/texture/script a hurricane that can be destroyed with a rocket launcher, or preferably something more spectacular and visceral?

Back to the topic though:

I've noticed something these last 30 hours without electricity...I don't mind handing out fried sausages, chicken, steaks, ice cream sandwiches, etc. to family who have electricity because my freezer sucks. I don't mind not being able to watch The House on Haunted Hill on DVD with my wife, or Treasure Planet with my son. I don't mind not having AC. I don't really mind getting wake-up calls from my office so I can be there in 80mph winds and torrential rain, just in case someone might actually want to check their bank accounts online during a freakin' HURRICANE! I don't mind not being able to take a shower or wash my hair (although am ready to shave it off at this point). I don't even mind having to stay awake for the last 51 hours (and the next 6) because my son's school was closed.

What I do mind is not being able to return to Second Life. It grates on my nerves. It gnaws at the back of my mind. It's not so much an addiction DT -type feeling as like the emotion one feels of a dearest friend leaving without saying goodbye, and though you know they'll be back, you've no idea when.

I don't know if that falls under the topic of self-destruction or the thread discussion of nutjobs on SL, but it isn't exactly mentally healthy, so take it as you like.

I gave up my full-time job four and a half years ago to stay home with my kids. SL is a welcome refuge for me: I don't have to change diapers, cook or clean or do laundry, and I get to talk to adults (well, mostly) while in-game. Yes, my house is in perpetual need of an intensive cleaning. Yes, my husband resents this game because I pay more attention to it than to him most days. Yes, my kids probably watch too much TV while I try to steal an extra hour or two in front of the computer. I'm just having too much fun here. Is it healthy? I don't care.

I second Darwin. I am also a basically happy optimistic
person. As to the comments on Themed Communities, that is the beauty of SL and the US we are all free to choose our path. Some like the group interaction and the regulations of said groups and others are individualists that are happier and more sucessful on their own.

I don't have a female avatar, but I used to play Super Mario Bros. 2 as the Princess. She did that hovery floaty thing the other three characters couldn't match.

I've done a lot of work on my avatar, but I've done a lot MORE work on my jetpack and my builds on the north continent. It carries the same "poker face" that I affect in real life, since that seems the most appropriate face, and it's pretty tall and it has a spare tire - as with my true form. But it is not me-by-proxy. For one thing, my skin isn't deep blue.

Why blue? Because the Blue Man Group is phenomenal. Also because there is no race of deep-blue-skinned humans. When I did the Black Mesa getup, I set my skin back to caucasian, but it just wasn't right.

If it was true that the Themed Communities had regulations that others actually followed, I would probably still be in them.
As I see it, people DO NOT follow any sort of regulation or common goal. As in RL, they go about their own way, do as they please, the world be damned.


-TK

And some were lured into a trap they cannot escape, without being made aware of the existence of any such rules, which by the way, as Tracey so well put it, are unwritten, changed on a whim, and overall pathetic.
If you seek to restrict the freedom of others to peacefully live out their lives the way they had planned from the beginning, you should not be allowed to exist let alone play a game like SL, which describes itself as collaborative.
Meaning, if you want to be here it is your job to help others and try to make their experience more enjoyable, not more limited.
It is in this spirit that I play the game, and so all my objects are eventually put at the bazaar for everyone's enjoyment, and neither do I charge a cent for custom builds or scripts.

Eggy,you just made me elbow tingle......If more of us had this attitude....SL <and the world>may just be the Utopia we all know it can be..