The Official Post Farming Thread

The Literal translation of the word s h * t

......back in the early days..they used to ship manure over seas< why....u ask... would anyone need to ship manure over seas...i asked myself that question..im still waiting for an answer...>.....when the sailors would go below decks to check the cargo< again why would anyone need to check the manure?>...the oil fueled lamps would expolde the built up methane gas below decks..causing many ships to explode.........then someone had an idea...stamp the manure with the letters s h * t....... SHIP HIGH IN TRANSIT..thus...when u utter this word...your explaining an old way of shipping manure.... < now if this wasnt the biggest waste of space......... >

I hope you dont really believe that The word shit comes from the Old English "scyte"IIRC), from where the word "scat" also came.
I could prolly dig up some more info on this on some website. As someone who devotes his life to thinking logically and rejecting "tradition" aka "preconceived notions and baseless truisms" I love researching the origins of some of our most common words.
Heh I suppose no one else gives a damn about this anyway =)
BTW www.snopes.com is a cool site to plow through if you have some time

Hmm... I think this post is almost ripe...

My scyte still doesn't stink...

Eggy....your always busting my bubbles .........i like mine better .........

Maerl, you are like bubble wrap. Full of nice little bubbles that everyone loves to burst
If only the forums had sound, we could hear that instantly recognizable popping that everyone remembers from their childhood.

hehehe Eggy..i like that comparison =].........

Yay!!! I'm going to go walk all over Maerl!!!

The Darwin awards...Named in honor of Charles Darwin, the father of evolution, the Darwin Awards commemorate those who improve our gene pool by removing themselves from it. ...< no not SL's Darwin>


Man Glued to Rhino Buttocks

A Vermont native found himself in a difficult position yesterday while touring the Eagle's Rock African Safari Zoo with a group of thespians from St. Petersburg, Russia. Ronald went to extremes to demonstrate the power of Crazy Glue, one of America's many marvels, to the Russians.

To prove the effectiveness of Crazy Glue, he rubbed several ounces of the adhesive onto the palms of his hands and jokingly placed them on the buttocks of a passing rhino.

The rhinoceros, a resident of the zoo for the thirteen years, was not initially startled, as it has been part of the petting exhibit since its arrival as a baby. However, once it became aware of being involuntarily stuck to Ronald, it began to panic and charge wildly about the petting area with Ronald as an unwitting passenger.

"Sally the Rhino hadn't been feeling well. She was constipated, and had just been given a laxative when the American played his juvenile prank, " said caretaker James Douglass.

During Sally's tirade, a shed wall was gored, two fences destroyed, and a number of small animals escaped. Three pygmy goats and one duck were stomped to death. During the stampede and subsequent capture, Sally began to feel the effects of the laxative, showering Ronald repeatedly with over 30 gallons of rhinoceros diarrhea.
A team of medics and zoo caretakers were needed to remove his hands from Sally's buttocks. "It was tricky. We had to calm her down while shielding our faces from the pelting rhino dung. I guess you could say that Ronald was in it up to his neck.

Once she was under control, three people with shovels were working to keep an air passage open for him. We were eventually able to tranquilize Sally and apply a solvent to remove his hands from her rear," said Douglass. "I don't think he'll be playing with Crazy Glue for awhile."

Meanwhile, the amused Russians were impressed with the power of the adhesive. "I'm going to buy some for my children, but of course they can't take it to the zoo," commented Vladimir Zolnikov, leader of the troupe.

Ronald did not die, nor was there any reproductive injury, so he can only qualify for a Darwin Award if you are persuaded by the fact that nobody would date a man who smelled of rhino dung.

I believe Darwin had a similar experience with Elmer's glue and a hippo at the Washington, D.C. Zoo.

So THAT is how he lost his virginity! OUCH!

(1998, Texas) I attended a professional diving course at the Ocean Corporation in Houston. At this school, one learns not just standard SCUBA techniques, but also esoteric practices such as saturation diving, underwater welding, decompression procedures, and diving while tethered to a diving bell. The instructors are mostly divers who worked for major oil companies in the Gulf of Mexico.

Diving can be extremely dangerous. Professional diving is second only to a military career for the likelihood of death or injury, despite the presence of safety personnel scouting for safety violations. Even knowledgeable and trained divers can make colossally stupid decisions, and as the following tale illustrates, there isn't always room for a second chance.

First, start with a hook. Not just any old hook, but a large hook attached to an oil rig crane. These cranes are used to lift items heavy items off cargo ship decks. Normally, a crane is equipped with a safety hook with a metal latch that secures the hooked item. Safety hooks are necessary when working offshore, as even light seas can bounce items right off the hook. Very dangerous, particularly to whatever lies beneath the falling mass.

The absence of a safety hook was the first error.

Second, consider a capped oil well. When an oil rig digs a new hole in an oilfield, oil is not necessarily pumped from the hole right away. Sometimes the well is sealed with a reinforced steel cap. Over time, the oil and the sea floor settle and create a vacuum against the cap. The pressure can be small or large; there's no way to tell in advance. So when a cap is pulled, it's standard procedure to make sure there is no one in the water.

Enter our contestant. He was working on a capped oil well.

His job was to attach the crane hook to the cap, which was approximately one hundred feet deep. Down he goes, hooks the cap, up he comes, and out of the water. Simple enough, but the hook is missing its safety latch.

The crane starts pulling -- and whoops! The hook slides off the cap.

So the diver goes back down and hooks the cap again. It's then that he has a bright idea. Just in case the hook slips again, he decides to stay close by, thirty feet up on an underwater rope ladder.

Not vacating the water was the second error.

The diver tells the topside crew to give it a pull. They tell him to come up. He convinces them that he's perfectly safe, and well away from the cap. The folks topside don't want to waste time arguing, so the crane guy goes for it. This time, the crane pulled the cap off the well.

This particular cap was on a sixteen-inch diameter pipe, sized to move a LOT of fluid VERY quickly. It had been capped and settling for several MONTHS. Oh, and did I mention that the diver didn't even secure himself to the ladder with a safety latch? You guessed it. The suction from the pipe sucked the very surprised diver right off the ladder and into the pipe.

But a diver does not fit into a sixteen-inch pipe.

They figure the pressure sucked in one leg, while the other one stuck straight up. The suction was so powerful that events didn't end with his body wedged in that position. The combined forces of suction and water pressure were sufficient to essentially suck him right out of his suit, from the inside out.

The only item recovered was his steel helmet, which was bigger than the pipe, and his tank of emergency air.

I always hate when that happens to me.

I heard that was spreading like wildfire! I hope it doesn't infect my house.

I think every post after this one should contain no words, simply this:

Bah, now you all know that's how I lost my virginity... so what if I raped a hippo?! HE ENJOYED IT! Besides, he was wearing a really short dress, HE WAS JUST ASKING FOR IT!

Shiat darwin you must be a very "big" man... Or lucky to have found a very tight hippo

Eggy, I guess (don't know for sure, thank you) hippo molesters can be creative about how they do the deed, because they use their head.

Just to inform you, you are all cheaters, my post count was made from purely intelligent posts and no farming. I was inactive for 2 months and people who started at the same time as me still haven't passed me up.

Take that post farmers! I hope your crops wither and die!

JV

eww.he used his head to molest a hippo??....

Gah, imagine the smell...
Well it could have been worse if it was the hippo using its head to molest Darwin.
Have you guys noticed how any chat that goes on long enough will eventually become about sex?

Well to sway the current line this is going lol, how about a 3rd life? hehe

Try and code that in here so we can get out of 1st life go into 2nd life and escape it all to 3rd life.

Heh don't mind me I have had no sleep. lol

I am SO going to do that!

Little box flyis around. makes a copy of itself. Meets the female box. Says hello.

The official animal will be the box.

ah -- ergh?

For reasons other than this thread, I'm turning away now...