Why Men Are Just Happier People -
Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You have a shot at being president.
You will never have a shot at being pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO T-shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this
one is just too icky.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress -- $5000. Tux rental -- $100.
You can have sex with an entire city before being considered a slut
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood-all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes
Everything on your face stays its original color.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.
Your belly usually hides your big hips.
One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25
minutes.
No wonder men are happier.
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The secrets of male happiness |
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Isis Becquerel
Ferine Strumpet
Join date: 1 Sep 2004
Posts: 971
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01-28-2005 10:01
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One of the most fashionable notions of our times is that social problems like poverty and oppression breed wars. Most wars, however, are started by well-fed people with time on their hands to dream up half-baked ideologies or grandiose ambitions, and to nurse real or imagined grievances.
Thomas Sowell As long as the bottle of wine costs more than 50 bucks, I'm not an alcoholic...even if I did drink 3 of them. |
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Eggy Lippmann
Wiktator
Join date: 1 May 2003
Posts: 7,939
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01-28-2005 10:20
The 50s are calling, they want their giant list back.
Most of what you listed is false, or not necessarily true. This thread should be considered hate speech  _____________________
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Isis Becquerel
Ferine Strumpet
Join date: 1 Sep 2004
Posts: 971
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01-28-2005 10:27
Ohh Eggy you know just how to stake my heart. lol...no hate intended just a funny e-mail a friend sent me today. I happen to adore the furry half of the human race even with all their quirks._____________________
One of the most fashionable notions of our times is that social problems like poverty and oppression breed wars. Most wars, however, are started by well-fed people with time on their hands to dream up half-baked ideologies or grandiose ambitions, and to nurse real or imagined grievances.
Thomas Sowell As long as the bottle of wine costs more than 50 bucks, I'm not an alcoholic...even if I did drink 3 of them. |
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Paolo Portocarrero
Puritanical Hedonist
Join date: 28 Apr 2004
Posts: 2,393
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01-28-2005 10:54
Hehe, and the list *almost* even works for gay men. Some notable exceptions:
Wedding plans take care of themselves. OMG girlfriend, you have got to be kidding! You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. Heaven forbid it! You can wear NO T-shirt to a water park. Yes! And we appreciate the view! Car mechanics tell you the truth. Provided that you lose the "lisp" You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. Iffy, but us butch types can hang  Wrinkles add character. Quick! Where's my eye cream? Moisturizer, people! Stat! People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them Hehe, unless it's another gay man One mood-all the time. Drama, drama, drama! (Think, Marcia, Marcia, Marcia!) Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. Maybe for some of us You know stuff about tanks. But muscle-Ts are so much more fashionable Your underwear is $8.95 for three-pack. Have you priced Under Armour or 2xist lately?? Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You speak heresy! The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. For those fortunate enough to still have hair, styles last weeks, maybe months. You only have to shave your face and neck. See Bush poll! You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife. Oh, the inhumanity!! _____________________
Facades by Paolo - Photo-Realistic Skins for Doods
> Flagship store, Santo Paolo's Lofts & Boutiques > SLBoutique |
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Lit Noir
Arrant Knave
Join date: 3 Jan 2004
Posts: 260
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01-28-2005 11:30
As a straight male, I'd have to agree with many of them, but a few comments.
The garage is all yours. Well, it's the only room of the house we get. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Um, trust me, the majority of men should never be allowed enar wedding plans. Ought to be a law. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. I have no problem with women doing this. You can wear NO T-shirt to a water park. I REALLY have no problem with women doing this, oh, maybe you had a different point. Wedding dress -- $5000. Tux rental -- $100. Yeah, that one is harsh, but it's not the wedding dress, it's the multiple bridesmaid dresses that kill. Seafoam? People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them You haven't seen my face, people stare at my chest to avoid the horror. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. And yet you continue to buy new ones! You know stuff about tanks. True, and it's fun, though not so effective for Michael Dukakis. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. Given the general fashion sense-lessness of many males, this is good for everyone, trust me. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. Hmm, yeah, your "toys" just come from different kinds of stores, and I will say nothing more on that subject. |
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Ananda Sandgrain
+0-
Join date: 16 May 2003
Posts: 1,951
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01-28-2005 12:05
Even if all these were true, Isis, would you really want to be one?
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Willow Zander
Having Blahgasms
Join date: 22 May 2004
Posts: 9,935
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01-28-2005 12:05
SWALLOWING
Works for me  _____________________
*I'm not ready for the world outside...I keep pretending, but I just can't hide...* <3 Giddeon's <3 |
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Barnesworth Anubis
Is about to cry!
Join date: 21 Jun 2004
Posts: 921
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01-28-2005 15:11
Hehe, and the list *almost* even works for gay men. Some notable exceptions:... You so read my mind Paolo. I was reading that thinking the same things LOL _____________________
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Isis Becquerel
Ferine Strumpet
Join date: 1 Sep 2004
Posts: 971
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01-28-2005 15:30
Even if all these were true, Isis, would you really want to be one? You have a point  I'll keep my monthly to forfeit the butt hair._____________________
One of the most fashionable notions of our times is that social problems like poverty and oppression breed wars. Most wars, however, are started by well-fed people with time on their hands to dream up half-baked ideologies or grandiose ambitions, and to nurse real or imagined grievances.
Thomas Sowell As long as the bottle of wine costs more than 50 bucks, I'm not an alcoholic...even if I did drink 3 of them. |
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Barnesworth Anubis
Is about to cry!
Join date: 21 Jun 2004
Posts: 921
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01-28-2005 15:32
You have a point I'll keep my monthly to forfeit the butt hair.That can be [easily] removed you know...  _____________________
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Isis Becquerel
Ferine Strumpet
Join date: 1 Sep 2004
Posts: 971
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01-28-2005 15:33
That can be [easily] removed you know... I know but it seems that those who have the most of it are the ones who would never think to wax it.... _____________________
One of the most fashionable notions of our times is that social problems like poverty and oppression breed wars. Most wars, however, are started by well-fed people with time on their hands to dream up half-baked ideologies or grandiose ambitions, and to nurse real or imagined grievances.
Thomas Sowell As long as the bottle of wine costs more than 50 bucks, I'm not an alcoholic...even if I did drink 3 of them. |
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Barnesworth Anubis
Is about to cry!
Join date: 21 Jun 2004
Posts: 921
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01-28-2005 15:36
I know but it seems that those who have the most of it are the ones who would never think to wax it.... lol, you have a very valid point. _____________________
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Paolo Portocarrero
Puritanical Hedonist
Join date: 28 Apr 2004
Posts: 2,393
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01-28-2005 15:39
/me is jealous of guys with body hair. I am a "smoothie."
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Facades by Paolo - Photo-Realistic Skins for Doods
> Flagship store, Santo Paolo's Lofts & Boutiques > SLBoutique |
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Urusula Zapata
I love my Pugs!
Join date: 20 Mar 2004
Posts: 1,340
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01-28-2005 15:43
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them Hehe, unless it's another gay man or me if it is well developed
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Get your decorated jeans, shorts and shirts at Jeans & Things by Urusula. Don't forget to check out Lecktor's Crappy T's while you are there. Jeans & Things by Urusula at Healy (190, 247) Shorts and shirts on SLBoutique.
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Barnesworth Anubis
Is about to cry!
Join date: 21 Jun 2004
Posts: 921
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01-28-2005 16:37
/me is jealous of guys with body hair. I am a "smoothie." aww, we all cant be perfect lol. But at least we know you dont have tufts coming out of your ass... _____________________
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Essence Lumin
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Join date: 24 Oct 2003
Posts: 806
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01-28-2005 18:23
For some reason I have to take a shot at this whole thing being a guy who sometimes has thought girls have it better.
Why Men Are Just Happier People The garage is all yours. I don't drive. Wedding plans take care of themselves. I'm not married. Chocolate is just another snack. ??? Guess I missed that one. You have a shot at being president. Oh great, with such great models as our current one? You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. Please do! You can wear NO T-shirt to a water park. Please do! Car mechanics tell you the truth. I don't drive. The world is your urinal. Yeah, that's a plus. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. I don't drive You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Yes I do. i'm mechanically inept. Same work, more pay Yes a plus unfortunately. Maybe not where I work though. Wrinkles add character. Mmm, nobody tells me that Wedding dress -- $5000. Tux rental -- $100. Not married. You can have sex with an entire city before being considered a slut The whole city doesn't seem to be interested. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them I kind of wish they would. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. Maybe. It's lame to just hold it in, man or woman. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. I wear sneakers. One mood-all the time. Do you really think that is a plus? Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. I hate phone conversations. I want to be able to see someone's eyes. You know stuff about tanks. I don't know a damn thing about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You don't? You can open all your own jars. They have things in the department stores to make it easier. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. I really only have my pair of sneakers. And my hiking boots I wear once every 3 years it snows here. You almost never have strap problems in public. Never have. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes I see them but I don't care. You only have to shave your face and neck. I never figured out the women shaving their legs and armpits thing. It's fine by me. You can play with toys all your life. Seriously major question mark here. Men can play with toys and women can't? Where did that come from? |
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Maxx Monde
Registered User
Join date: 14 Nov 2003
Posts: 1,848
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01-28-2005 20:06
Men are happiest when:
They have time to mess around with their favorite mechanical hobby, or 'net pastime. They have an occasionally naked girlfriend. They have a place for their stuff, which is not disturbed or reorganized in any way. That pretty much covers it. Oh, and booze. |
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Siggy Romulus
DILLIGAF
Join date: 22 Sep 2003
Posts: 5,711
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01-28-2005 20:12
Men are happiest when you pretend you don't know where their 'cunningly hidden' porn stash is.
Remember, it's hidden as a sign of respect! Siggy. _____________________
The Second Life forums are living proof as to why it's illegal for people to have sex with farm animals.
I, for one, am highly un-helped by this thread |
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Isis Becquerel
Ferine Strumpet
Join date: 1 Sep 2004
Posts: 971
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01-28-2005 20:12
Men are happiest when: They have time to mess around with their favorite mechanical hobby, or 'net pastime. They have an occasionally naked girlfriend. They have a place for their stuff, which is not disturbed or reorganized in any way. That pretty much covers it. Oh, and booze. If you add willing to eat anything placed in front of you (and I mean experimental recipes)....I may be in lurve _____________________
One of the most fashionable notions of our times is that social problems like poverty and oppression breed wars. Most wars, however, are started by well-fed people with time on their hands to dream up half-baked ideologies or grandiose ambitions, and to nurse real or imagined grievances.
Thomas Sowell As long as the bottle of wine costs more than 50 bucks, I'm not an alcoholic...even if I did drink 3 of them. |
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Barnesworth Anubis
Is about to cry!
Join date: 21 Jun 2004
Posts: 921
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01-28-2005 21:24
If you add willing to eat anything placed in front of you (and I mean experimental recipes)....I may be in lurve Hey I already have dibs on Maxx! _____________________
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Paolo Portocarrero
Puritanical Hedonist
Join date: 28 Apr 2004
Posts: 2,393
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01-28-2005 22:31
Hey I already have dibs on Maxx! Damn it, Maxx! You're making us gay dudes look bad! _____________________
Facades by Paolo - Photo-Realistic Skins for Doods
> Flagship store, Santo Paolo's Lofts & Boutiques > SLBoutique |
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Barnesworth Anubis
Is about to cry!
Join date: 21 Jun 2004
Posts: 921
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01-28-2005 23:20
Yeah, Maxx.
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Isis Becquerel
Ferine Strumpet
Join date: 1 Sep 2004
Posts: 971
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01-29-2005 07:50
Men are happiest when you pretend you don't know where their 'cunningly hidden' porn stash is. Remember, it's hidden as a sign of respect! Siggy. Hiding it or hording it? Men need to learn to share! Otherwise you find out 5 years into the relationship that you both own the same videos and that is not fiscally responsible ._____________________
One of the most fashionable notions of our times is that social problems like poverty and oppression breed wars. Most wars, however, are started by well-fed people with time on their hands to dream up half-baked ideologies or grandiose ambitions, and to nurse real or imagined grievances.
Thomas Sowell As long as the bottle of wine costs more than 50 bucks, I'm not an alcoholic...even if I did drink 3 of them. |
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Shadus Stonebender
Evil Monkey
Join date: 17 Jan 2005
Posts: 37
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01-29-2005 23:19
Actually it all comes down to one single reason... the rest is just there we don't notice it.
Why Men Are Just Happier People...<SNIP> The world is your urinal. <SNIP>...No wonder men are happier. _____________________
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Shadus |
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Shadus Stonebender
Evil Monkey
Join date: 17 Jan 2005
Posts: 37
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01-29-2005 23:23
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them Hehe, unless it's another gay man or me if it is well developed I generally stare at men's moobs more than womens breasts... it just somehow looks... more outta place. _____________________
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Shadus |
