My complaint about Linden Lab

Recent troubling developments prompt me to revisit a subject I've discussed in the past: Linden Lab and its plan to misdirect our efforts into fighting each other rather than into understanding the nature and endurance of inhumane, overbearing antidisestablishmentarianism. Before I launch into my rant, permit me the prelude caveat that it says that its blessing is the equivalent of a papal imprimatur. You know, I don't think I have heard a less factually based statement in my entire life. Which brings me to my point. This is not the first time I've wanted to establish democracy and equality. But it is the first time I realized that it just keeps on saying, "We don't give a [expletive deleted] about you. We just want to topple society." As a practical matter, Linden Lab's idea of pharisaical absenteeism is no political belief. It is a fierce and burning gospel of hatred and intolerance, of murder and destruction, and the unloosing of a silly blood-lust. It is, in every sense, an infantile and pagan religion that incites its worshippers to a disingenuous frenzy and then prompts them to pour a few drops of wormwood into our general enthusiasm.

This is one letter that Linden Lab doesn't want you to read. The destruction of the Tower of Babel, be it a literal truth, an allegory, or a mere story based upon cultural archetypes, illustrates this truth plainly. Assume for a moment that Linden Lab is against everything and for nothing. It therefore follows that Linden Lab is trying to harvest what others have sown. Their mission? To break down our communities.

Linden Lab will probably never understand why it scares me so much. And it truly does scare me: Its precepts are scary, its positions are scary, and most of all, it can't possibly believe that the cure for evil is more evil. It's stupid, but it's not that stupid. I have the strength, ability, desire, and courage to transform our culture of war and violence into a culture of peace and nonviolence. Do you? Almost every discussion of Stalinism ignores the critical importance of Linden Lab's asinine, apolaustic editorials, and if you don't believe me, then you should dole out acerbic criticism of Linden Lab and its phalanx of larcenous, morbid vicegerents. Linden Lab's premise (that all literature which opposes barbarism was forged by amateurish, shameless tossers) is its morality disguised as pretended neutrality. Linden Lab uses this disguised morality to support its hijinks, thereby making its argument self-refuting.

It's amazing that phlegmatic pip-squeaks like Linden Lab still exist in this day and age. Only true-blue obnoxious carousers or those who are entirely clueless about commercialism could claim otherwise. In asserting that it is the one who will lead us to our great shining future, it demonstrates an astounding narrowness of vision. The funny thing is, to call Linden Lab a beast is to defame all quadrupeds. Regular readers of my letters probably take that for granted, but if I am to follow knowledge like a sinking star beyond the utmost bound of human thought, I must explain to the population at large that if we don't give Linden Lab condign punishment right now, then Linden Lab's biases will soon start to metastasize until they pose a threat to the survival of democracy. At any rate, my goal is to demand a thoughtful analysis and resolution of our problems with Linden Lab. I might not be successful at achieving that goal, but I certainly do have to try.

Am I angry? You bet. It is more than a purely historical question to ask, "How did Linden Lab's reign of terror start?" or even the more urgent question, "How might it end?". No, we must ask, "Has Linden Lab ever considered what would happen if a small fraction of its time spent trying to shower misinformed, illiberal crackpots with undeserved encomia was instead spent on something productive?" To turn that question around, is it just trying to develop mind-control technology? Well, once you begin to see the light, you'll realize that if there's an untold story here, it's that someone just showed me a memo supposedly written by Linden Lab. The memo spells out its plans to nourish corrupt ideologies. If this memo is authentic, it tells us that Linden Lab's daft histrionics can be quite educational. By studying them, students can observe firsthand the consequences of having an organization consumed with paranoia, fear, hatred, and ignorance. One of Linden Lab's favorite tricks is to create a problem and then to offer the solution. Naturally, it's always its solutions that grant it the freedom to feed information from sources inside the government to organizations with particularly irritable agendas, never the original problem.

With an enormous expenditure of words, unclear in content and incomprehensible as to meaning, Linden Lab frequently stammers an endless hodgepodge of phrases purportedly as witty as in reality they are obstinate. Only brain-damaged, ribald savages can feel at home in this maze of reasoning and cull an "inner experience" from this dung heap of overweening interventionism. In general, Linden Lab possesses no significant intellectual skills whatsoever and has no interest in erudition. Heck, it can't even spell or define "erudition", much less achieve it.

How can we trust venal publishers of hate literature who actively conceal their true intentions? We can't. And besides, I've never bothered Linden Lab. Yet Linden Lab wants to place power-hungry fast-buck artists at the top of the social hierarchy. Whatever happened to "live and let live"? In order to understand the motivation behind Linden Lab's activities, it is important first to suggest the kind of politics and policies that are needed to restore good sense to this important debate. Linden Lab's secret passion is to stretch credulity beyond the breaking point. For shame!

There are some basic biological realities of the world in which we live. These realities are doubtless regrettable, but they are unalterable. If Linden Lab finds them intolerable and unthinkable, the only thing that I can suggest is that it try to flag down a flying saucer and take passage for some other solar system, possibly one in which the residents are oblivious to the fact that we are at a crossroads. One road leads into the light of a bright, shining future in which ruthless, lewd galoots like Linden Lab are totally absent. The other road leads into the darkness of anti-intellectualism. The question, therefore, is: Who's driving the bus? I apologize if this disappoints you but my intent was only to elucidate the question, not to answer it. I shall therefore state only that Linden Lab proclaims at every opportunity that it'd never usher in the beginning of an egocentric new era of prætorianism. The organization doth protest too much, methinks. My general thesis is that I am convinced that there will be a strong effort on Linden Lab's part to force us to adopt rigid social roles that compromise our inner code of ethics in a matter of days. This effort will be disguised, of course. It will be cloaked in deceit, as such efforts always are. That's why I'm informing you that even Linden Lab's disciples are afraid that Linden Lab will replace intellectual integrity with resentful sloganeering sooner or later. I have seen their fear manifested over and over again, and it is further evidence that the first lies that Linden Lab told us were relatively benign. Still, they have been progressing. And they will continue to progress until there is no more truth; its lies will grow until they blot out the sun. I'll talk a lot more about that later, but first let me finish my general thesis: I, hardheaded cynic that I am, really dislike Linden Lab. Likes or dislikes, however, are irrelevant to observed facts, such as that it's really not bloody-mindedness that compels me to reach the broadest possible audience with the message that I am tired of listening to Linden Lab's yawping bilge. It's my sense of responsibility to you, the reader. I never cease to be amazed at the way that Linden Lab's artifices reek of neocolonialism. I use the word "reek", because I want to change the minds of those who play on people's conscious and unconscious belief structures. I want to do this not because I need to tack another line onto my résumé, but because Linden Lab has written volumes about how its way of life is correct and everyone else's isn't. Don't believe a word of it, though. The truth is that it may have access to weapons of mass destruction. Then again, I consider Linden Lab to be a weapon of mass destruction itself. Judgmental and sententious, Linden Lab's inclinations resemble a dilapidated shed. Kick in the door and the whole rotten structure will collapse, proving my claim that Linden Lab has an uncanny knack for making evil appear good and good appear evil. It's that simple.

I don't like to repeat myself, but Linden Lab's diatribes manifest themselves in two phases. Phase one: lay down diktats that force me to suffer from stress, frustration, and defeat. Phase two: cashier anyone who tries to step back and consider the problem of its jibes in the larger picture of popular culture imagery. Quite frankly, Linden Lab complains a lot. What's ironic, though, is that it hasn't made even a single concrete suggestion for improvement or identified a single problem with the system as it exists today. Following this line of logic, it would appear that I cannot promise not to be angry at Linden Lab. I do promise, however, to try to keep my anger under control, to keep it from leading me -- as it leads Linden Lab -- to seek temporary tactical alliances with slatternly weasels in order to convict me without trial, jury, or reading one complete paragraph of this letter. We can never return to the past. And if we are ever to move forward to the future, we unquestionably have to develop an alternative community, a cohesive and comprehensive underground with a charter to report as best as possible the facts and circumstances surrounding Linden Lab's distasteful actions.

Linden Lab thinks we want it to support hostile governments known for human rights abuses, wrongful imprisonment, and slavery. Excuse me, but maybe its victims have been speaking out for years. Unfortunately, their voices have long been silenced by the roar and thunder of Linden Lab's comrades, who loudly proclaim that Linden Lab's opinions represent the opinions of the majority -- or even a plurality. Regardless of those deluded proclamations, the truth is that one could truthfully say that it is hard to ignore the impact of its misconduct on our children, our culture, and our national character. But saying that would miss the real point, which is that I feel that it has insulted everyone with even the slightest moral commitment. Linden Lab obviously has none, or it wouldn't preach hatred. In this land which has befriended delirious lummoxes, Linden Lab has conspired, plotted, undermined, prostituted, and corrupted, and -- hiding to this hour behind the braver screen of wretched, insensitive couch potatoes -- dares to contrive and scheme the death of every principle that has protected it. While out-of-touch flibbertigibbets have previously relied on violence to get their way, their new manipulation of brainless shenanigans has combined with violence to vandalize our neighborhoods. I by no means claim to know everything about testy deviants. I'll say that again, because I want it to sink in: Linden Lab is a fearful organization hiding behind a facade of cool. I, hardheaded cynic that I am, am thoroughly shocked and angered by Linden Lab's rapacious improprieties. Such shameful conduct should never be repeated. In closing, much can be learned about Linden Lab by understanding virulent neopaganism.

http://www.pakin.org/complaint/

I actually thought you had written that for a second. That site is lol!!!!11

Did I miss something?

Probably, Eins...the color kind of blends in with the backround.

Well, I knew it was coming. In fact, I predicted it quite a long time ago when I said that Mr. James Miller would reinforce the concept of collective guilt that is the root of all prejudice. And now that he has, we must doubtlessly begin a course of careful, planned, and coordinated action. The following paragraphs are intended as an initial, open-ended sketch of how bad the current situation is. Did it ever occur to him that he is -- and I say this with no intended disrespect -- ugly? People often ask me that question. It's a difficult question to answer, however, because the querist generally wants a simple, concise answer. He doesn't want to hear a long, drawn-out explanation about how I honestly wouldn't want to foster immoralism at every opportunity. I would, on the other hand, love to seek liberty, equality, and fraternity. But, hey, I'm already doing that with this letter. People who are attacked by counter-productive nymphomaniacs basically have three options. They can ignore the attacks, engage the attackers in a debate, or apply some sanction which will put an end to the attack.

To those readers who believe that courtesy and manners don't count for anything, you have not been paying attention. So who's crazy? I, or all the obnoxious devil-worshippers who contend that uncompromising deadheads have dramatically lower incidences of cancer, heart attacks, heart disease, and many other illnesses than the rest of us? Before you answer, let me point out that we are a nation of prostitutes. By this I mean that as long as we are fat, warm, and dry we don't care what James does. It is precisely that lack of caring that explains why James's goal is to rip off everyone and his brother. How paltry is that? How ultra-logorrheic? How nerdy?

There is a proper place in life for hatred. Hatred of that which is wrong is a powerful and valuable tool. But when James perverts hatred in order to shrink the so-called marketplace of ideas down to convenience-store size, it becomes clear that if you're interested in the finagling, double-dealing, chicanery, cheating, cajolery, cunning, rascality, and abject villainy by which he may destroy the natural beauty of our parks and forests in the immediate years ahead, then you'll want to consider the following very carefully. You'll especially want to consider that when I say that a day without James would be like a day without fork-tongued, nit-picky ethnocentrism, this does not, I repeat, does not mean that you and I are inferior to oleaginous, testy antagonists. This is a common fallacy held by delusional slackers. By this, I mean that James's lapdogs have learned their scripts well, and the rhetoric comes gushing forth with little provocation. I had a conversation recently with some crotchety con artists who were trying to identify political and religious groups that are James's political enemies and re-label them as "sex-crazed Machiavellians" in order to justify operations against them. That conversation convinced me that the acid test for James's "kinder, gentler" new slurs should be, "Do they still outrage the very sensibilities of those who value freedom and fairness?" If the answer is yes, then we can conclude that the problem with James is not that he's sleazy. It's that he wants to have more impact on SL's biological, geological, and chemical systems during our lifetime and our children's than all preceding human generations had together.

It is quite true, of course, that as a concerned citizen, I will forge ahead in my brave quest to delegitimize him. But we must indisputably suggest the kind of politics and policies that are needed to restore good sense to this important debate. Does that sound extremist? Is it too annoying for you? I'm sorry if it seems that way, but that's life. All in all, griping about James will not make him stop trying to replace our timeless traditions with his gruesome ones. But even if it did, he would just find some other way to fragment the nation into politically disharmonious units.

I have always assumed that whenever he encounters a free-thinking individual who presents factual data that conflicts with his beliefs, James doesn't know what to do, but the fact of the matter is that contrary to my personal preferences, I'm thinking about what's best for all of us. My conclusion is that what's best for all of us is for me to show principle, gumption, verve, and nerve. If you're still reading this letter, I wish to compliment you for being sufficiently open-minded to understand that he refuses to come to terms with reality. James prefers instead to live in a fantasy world of rationalization and hallucination. Contrary to what he would have you believe, his emotionalism-oriented pranks produce a new generation of dotty sociopaths whose opinions and prejudices, far from being enlightened and challenged, are simply legitimized. James then blames us for that. Now there's a prizewinning example of psychological projection if I've ever seen one. When was the last time you heard him mention that he wishes he could buy "ethnic cleanser" at the grocery store? Probably never. That's why his attempts to infiltrate the media with the express purpose of disseminating imprudent information are much worse than mere vigilantism. They are hurtful, malicious, criminal behavior and deserve nothing less than our collective condemnation. In conclusion, let me just say that Mr. James Miller has a fondness for spouting out technical mumbo-jumbo.

Why do you have a complaint about me on your Web page?

Damnit I was too late grrrr.

I must say James that site is priceless...I read through your entire post thinking what the hell has been going on...have I been away that friggin long!!! Lucky the old image generators still work and I went to the web addy. Bravo good man!!

Hah, thought so.

*rubs eyes*

Damn... thems a lot of words

- Ace

I must say James that site is priceless...I read through your entire post thinking what the hell has been going on...have I been away that friggin long!!! Lucky the old image generators still work and I went to the web addy. Bravo good man!!

I entered George W Bush, made 10 paragraphs, then emailed it to my friend. He should have fun reading it

hehe...great idea!!! off to copy-cat now

My complaint about GOD

What would I do without GOD to provide me with a non-stop source of worthless ploys to complain about? First, the misinformation: GOD suggests that the ideas of "freedom" and "gnosticism" are Siamese twins. Where the heck did he come up with that? The answer to that question has broad implications. For example, GOD is certainly up to something. I don't know exactly what, but if we contradict him, we are labelled violent low-lifes. If we capitulate, however, we forfeit our freedoms. As someone who is working hard to carve solutions that are neither devious nor froward, I must point out that if he bites me, I will bite back. You'd think I'd be pretty well inured by now to the lunacies of GOD's beliefs (as I would certainly not call them logically reasoned arguments), but I have to say that we must learn to celebrate our diversity, not because it is the politically correct thing to do, but because he is addicted to the feeling of power, to the idea of controlling people. Sadly, he has no real concern for the welfare or the destiny of the people he desires to lead. GOD has a different view of reality from the rest of us. That's the current situation, and if you have any doubt about the reality of it, then you haven't been paying close enough attention to what's been happening in the world.

Of course, I'm generalizing a little here. But that's only because on a television program last night, I heard one of this country's top scientists conclude that, "The few shiftless saboteurs who deny this are not only wrong, they are willfully splenetic." That's exactly what I have so frequently argued, and I am pleased to have my view confirmed by so eminent an individual. From what I understand, we could opt to sit back and let GOD interfere with my efforts to allay the concerns of the many people who have been harmed by him. Most people, however, would argue that the cost in people's lives and self-esteem is an extremely high price to pay for such inaction on our part. If it weren't for ignominious, cruel dunderheads, he would have no friends.

You might have heard the story that GOD once agreed to help us tell you a little bit about him and his callow musings. No one has located the document in which GOD said that. No one has identified when or where GOD said that. That's because he never said it. As you might have suspected, one can consecrate one's life to the service of a noble idea or a glorious ideology. GOD, however, is more likely to diminish society's inducements to good behavior. Some critics have called him juvenile. A handful insist he's quasi-prolix. GOD's disciples, on the other hand, consider him to be one of the great minds of this century.

Someone just showed me a memo supposedly written by GOD. The memo spells out his plans to defuse or undermine incisive critiques of his self-deceiving behavior by turning them into procedural arguments about mechanisms of institutional restraint. If this memo is authentic, it tells us that GOD would have us believe that he is forward-looking, open-minded, and creative. Yeah, right. However deep one delves into the citations and footnotes of his long-term goals, and however poised and "mainstream" GOD's apparatchiks appear once challenged, there is no way to forget that no matter what else we do, our first move must be to educate everyone about how letting GOD create an unwelcome climate for those of us who are striving to address a number of important issues sends a clear message to churlish, pea-brained nutters that they can vilify our history, character, values, and traditions. That's the first step: education. Education alone is not enough, of course. We must also rage, rage against the dying of the light. I'm not the first to mention that he ignores a breathtaking number of facts, most notably:

Fact: His perceptions are not so much a nationalist as a neo-imperialist attempt to prevent me from getting my work done.
Fact: I don't see why he wants to publish blatantly unsophisticated rhetoric as "education" for children to learn in school.

Fact: I can fight only for something that I love, love only what I respect, and respect only what I at least know.

In addition, if he wants to complain, he should have an argument. He shouldn't just throw out the word "photodisintegration", for example, and expect us to be scared.

GOD twists every argument into some sort of "struggle" between two parties. GOD unvaryingly constitutes the underdog party, which is what he claims gives him the right to create catchy, new terms for boring, old issues. For those who need very specific examples in order to grasp the significance of his views, I'll give a very specific example: Think for a moment about the way that he says he's going to write off whole sections of society some day. Is he out of his rabid mind? The answer is fairly obvious when you consider that you don't have to say anything specifically about him for him to start attacking you. All you have to do is dare to imply that we should make him answer for his wrongdoings. Every so often, you'll see GOD lament, flog himself, cry mea culpa for seeking to make people weak and dependent, and vow never again to be so eccentric. Sadly, he always reverts to his old behavior immediately afterwards, making me think that contrary to my personal preferences, I'm thinking about what's best for all of us. My conclusion is that what's best for all of us is for me to warn the public against those immoral, rash savages whose positive accomplishments are always practically nil, but whose conceit can scarcely be excelled. Of perhaps even more concern is that he has a fondness for spouting out technical mumbo-jumbo. That's clear. But the space remaining in this letter will not suffice even to enumerate the ways in which he has tried to feed us a diet of robbery, murder, violence, and all other manner of trials and tribulations. Most people don't realize that GOD has already revealed his plans to arouse inter-ethnic suspicion. He revealed these plans in a manifesto bearing all of the hallmarks of having been written by a bunch of vile thieves. Not only is his manifesto entirely lacking in logic, relentlessly subjective, and thoroughly anecdotal, but GOD maintains that either his activities are on the up-and-up or that governments should have the right to lie to their own subjects or to other governments. GOD denies any other possibility.

Of course, his treatment of negativism mirrors the attitude that many mumpish perverts hold towards fanaticism. I say "of course," because I will never give up. I will never stop trying. And I will use every avenue possible to place a high value on honor and self-respect. The fact that I challenge GOD to crawl out of his sheltered existence and do what comes naturally is particularly striking, since he thinks there should be a law prohibiting people from saying any harsh or unkind things against him. Now that that's cleared up, I'll continue with what I was saying before, that he seizes every opportunity to exert more and more control over other individuals. I cannot believe this colossal clownishness. Any sane person knows that GOD does, occasionally, make a valid point. But when he says that it is not only acceptable, but indeed desirable, to manipulate everything and everybody, that's where the facts end and the ludicrousness begins. GOD is trying to fill the air with recrimination and rancor just to prove he can. Surprised? You shouldn't be, because he doesn't realize just how tenuous his grasp of reality is. GOD vehemently denies that, of course. But he obviously would, because he doesn't care about freedom, as he can neither eat it nor put it in the bank. It's just a word to him.

This in mind, I would like to shatter the adage that we're supposed to shut up and smile when he says doctrinaire things. GOD is stepping over the line when he attempts to jawbone aimlessly -- way over the line. The essential point, however, is the following: He has been doing "in-depth research" (whatever he thinks that means) to prove that his mottos are not worth getting outraged about. I should mention that I've been doing some research of my own. So far, I've "discovered" that today, we might have let GOD fan the flames of demagogism into a planet-spanning inferno. Tomorrow, we won't. Instead, we will eschew barbaric anti-intellectualism.

Because of his cop-outs, our schools simply do not teach the basics anymore. Instead, they preach the theology of slaphappy exhibitionism. If a cogent, logical argument entered GOD's brain, no doubt a concussion would result. Let's keep our fingers crossed that GOD doesn't intensify race hatred. Too many emotions to count raced through my mind when I first realized that his stances will have consequences -- very serious consequences. And we ought to begin doing something about that.

Oligarchism doesn't work. So why does GOD cling to it? The answer is not obvious, because if you can go more than a minute without hearing GOD talk about McCarthyism, you're either deaf, dumb, or in a serious case of denial. This is not wild speculation. This is not a conspiracy theory. This is documented fact. What's interesting is that it is more than a purely historical question to ask, "How did GOD's reign of terror start?" or even the more urgent question, "How might it end?". No, we must ask, "What will be the next object of attack from GOD's camp?" Whatever the answer, the larrikinism "debate" is not a debate. It is a harangue, a politically motivated, brilliantly publicized, cantankerous attack on progressive ideas.

GOD's gofers all have serious personal problems. In fact, the way he keeps them loyal to him is by encouraging and exacerbating these problems rather than by helping to overcome them. (The merits of GOD's deeds won't be discussed here, because they lack merit.) Think about that for a moment. Thus, in summing up, we can establish the following: 1) Under the guise of "fighting opportunism," GOD will invade every private corner and force every thought into a yawping mold, and 2) his few positive contributions will continue to be overshadowed by his broader message of hate.



Complaining about God did not work that well but the site is brilliant! Haha.

I'll get right to the point. Mr. George W Bush has a taste for interminable controversy over minor questions. Before examining the present situation, however, it is important that I deal with the relevant facts. He wants to rid the world of "defective" people. But that's not all: He thinks that exclusionism brings one closer to nirvana. However, the essence of lying is in deception, not in words. Try as I may, I can't understand why George would want to wage an odd sort of warfare upon a largely unprepared and unrecognizing public.

All such combinations of audacity with ignorance would be supremely ridiculous but for one consideration: What we're involved in with him is not a game. It's the most serious possible business, and every serious person -- every person with any shred of a sense of responsibility -- must concern himself with it. He wants us to feel sorry for the ill-bred nonentities who produce a new generation of untoward, haughty scalawags whose opinions and prejudices, far from being enlightened and challenged, are simply legitimized. I think we should instead feel sorry for their victims, all of whom know full well that George is guilty of at least one criminal offense. In addition, he frequently exhibits less formal criminal behavior, such as deliberate and even gleeful cruelty, explosive behavior, and a burning desire to thrust all of us into scenarios rife with personal animosities and petty resentments. As I understand it, parasitism doesn't work. So why does George cling to it? First, I'll give you a very brief answer and then I'll go back and explain my answer in detail. As for the brief answer, if we are to compile readers' remarks and suggestions and use them to put an end to illogical exhibitionism, then we must be guided by a healthy and progressive ideology, not by the short-sighted and virulent ideologies that George promotes. He will damage the debate about this issue, because we will have to spend lots of time correcting misunderstandings that are directly attributable to his threats.

I, hardheaded cynic that I am, cannot compromise with George; he is without principles. I cannot reason with him; he is without reason. But I can warn him, and with a warning he must undeniably take to heart: It strikes me as amusing that George complains about people who do nothing but complain. Well, news flash! He does nothing but complain. No matter what else we do, our first move must be to educate everyone about how he is out of control and must be stopped. That's the first step: education. Education alone is not enough, of course. We must also snap his representatives out of their trance. While reading this letter, you may have occasionally asked yourself, "Where is all of this leading?" and, "What is the point exactly?" I deliberately wrote in the style I did so that you may come up with your own conclusions. Therefore, I leave you with only the following: Passion precludes Mr. George W Bush's ability to ignore trivialities and to concentrate on the important aspects of the problem.

Lmao, I'm loving this!

Eins yours is better than mine pfft!!! Yours has a tinge of truth in it lol. At least we know where to go when a thread gets out of hand . Pop one of these babies in there and it will surely end the thread or at the very least leave many scouring dictionary.com for hours. Though I do feel we ruined the ruse for those sleeping sorts on the east coast.

Muahahahaha....can we do one that has Korg in it??? I'm too lazy.

On behalf of several members of the community, I would like to express my shock and disappointment at some of my left testicle's cop-outs. First things first: If it were up to my left testicle, schoolchildren would be taught reading, 'riting, and racism. On rare occasions, in order to preserve their liberties, sometimes people must force my left testicle's moral code on the rest of us. My left testicle does that even when its liberties aren't being threatened.

Individually, my left testicle's newsgroup postings guarantee the destruction of anything that looks like a vital community. But linked together, my left testicle's prognoses could pass off all sorts of lascivious and obviously filthy stuff on others as a so-called "inner experience". There's only one proper consideration here: the harm that'll doubtlessly be caused if my left testicle is allowed to deplete the ozone layer. All else is abstract, heartless, intellectual hooey. However much my left testicle may deny it, our situation is snowballing. I'll probably devote a separate letter to that topic alone, but for now, I'll simply summarize by stating that my left testicle is out to play on people's conscious and unconscious belief structures. And when we play its game, we become accomplices. My left testicle says it's going to mold your mind and have you see the world not as it is, but as it wants you to see it as soon as our backs are turned. Is it out of its sexist mind? The answer is fairly obvious when you consider that the real question here is not, "What happened to its common sense?". The real question is rather, "Is it just trying to send coldhearted moochers on safari holidays instead of publicly birching them?" To rephrase that question, why does it insist on boring holes in the hull of the boat in which it itself is also a passenger? You see, just the other day, some of its crude cringers forced a prospectus into my hands as I walked past. The prospectus described my left testicle's blueprint for a world in which apolaustic slanderers are free to repeat the mistakes of the past. As I dropped the prospectus onto an overflowing wastebasket, I reflected upon the way that if you want to hide something from my left testicle, you just have to put it in a book.

Think of my left testicle's nostrums as being the sum of two components: a bestial component that consists of my left testicle's desire to start wars, ruin the environment, invent diseases, and routinely do a hundred other things that kill people and an illaudable component that consists of everything else. We are concerned primarily with the former. My left testicle's goombahs are quick to point out that because my left testicle is hated, persecuted, and repeatedly laughed at, it is the real victim here. The truth is that, if anything, my left testicle is a victim of its own success -- a success that enables my left testicle to criticize other people's beliefs, fashion sense, and lifestyle. Let me conclude by saying that we who want to provide an antidote to contemporary manifestations of fastidious immoralism will not rest until we do.

Hahah, made my day, that site is hallarious!

Haha.

Anything for my fave Jackal:

I'm always glad to have the opportunity to speak openly, without fear of Mr. Korg Stygian twisting my words in a foul attempt to get on my nerves. For the sake of review, most of you reading this letter have your hearts in the right place. Now follow your hearts with actions. Despite what he says, everybody is probably familiar with the cliche that Korg uses the term "pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis" with ostensible confidence that its meaning is universally understood. Well, there's a lot of truth in that cliche. As you can see, even if one isn't completely conversant with current events, the evidence overwhelmingly indicates that one of his favorite tricks is to create a problem and then to offer the solution. Naturally, it's always his solutions that grant him the freedom to dig a grave in which to bury liberty and freedom, never the original problem. When I say that Korg's ultimata have served as a powerful weapon with which bloody-minded big-labor bosses can tap into the national resurgence of overt antipluralism, this does not, I repeat, does not mean that everyone with a different set of beliefs from his is going to get a one-way ticket to Hell. This is a common fallacy held by tasteless closed-minded-types.

In purely political terms, Korg's mind has limited horizons. It is confined to the immediate and simplistic, with the inevitable consequence that everything is made banal and basic and is then leveled down until it is deprived of all spiritual life. Korg does not want to lay the foundation for some serious mischief because he is refractory, crotchety, horny, and disgraceful (though, granted, Korg is all of the aforementioned), but rather because one can consecrate one's life to the service of a noble idea or a glorious ideology. Korg, however, is more likely to twist my words six ways for Sunday. If he wants to complain, he should have an argument. He shouldn't just throw out the word "scleroticochorioiditis", for example, and expect us to be scared. Korg is like a magician who produces a dove in one hand, while the other hand is busy trying to exploit the masses. Did it ever occur to him that maybe I proudly adopt this stand? Dream on.

He says that the rest of us are an inferior group of people, fit only to be enslaved, beaten, and butchered at the whim of our betters. That's a stupid thing to say. It's like saying that women are spare parts in the social repertoire -- mere optional extras. Korg doesn't want us to improve the physical and spiritual quality of life for the population at present and for those yet to come. He would rather we settle for the meatless bone of vandalism. Most people want to be nice; they want to be polite; they don't want to give offense. And because of this inherent politeness, they step aside and let Korg make us less united, less moral, less sensitive, less engaged, and more perversely feeble-minded.

Because we have the determination to see the truth prevail, we must never forget that there is something grievously wrong with those loquacious smart alecks who project a stream of fork-tongued images of death, sex, disaster, material goods, celebrities, and other fixtures in a mock-Olympian firmament. Shame on the lot of them! The struggle against caustic champions of deceit, lies, theft, plunder, and rapine must be a struggle against sensationalism, favoritism, and egotism, or it is doomed to failure. Isn't it interesting which questions Korg dodges and what tangents he goes off on? Those dodges and tangents make me think that it's possible that Korg doesn't realize this because he has been ingrained with so much of plagiarism's propaganda. If that's the case, I recommend that we honor our nation's glorious mosaic of cultures and ethnicities.

Can you really blame me for suggesting that you can decidedly assume serious trouble is brewing when the most dishonest New Age power brokers you'll ever see lash out at everyone and everything in sight? Don't let yourself be persuaded by lousy ruffians who secretly want to label everyone he doesn't like as a racist, sexist, fascist, communist, or some equally terrible "-ist". Korg must sense his own irremediable inferiority. That's why he is so desperate to keep us perennially behind the eight ball; it's the only way for him to distinguish himself from the herd. It would be a lot nicer, however, if Korg also realized that there is a proper place in life for hatred. Hatred of that which is wrong is a powerful and valuable tool. But when Korg perverts hatred in order to put the gods of heaven into the corner as obsolete and outmoded and, in their stead, burn incense to the idol Mammon, it becomes clear that his serfs are so ready to distract attention from more important issues that their wisecracks are laughable. If that fact hurts, get over it; it's called reality. And for another dose of reality, consider that there may be absolutely nothing we can do to prevent Korg from making good on his word to pander to irrational insensitive-types. When we compare this disturbing conclusion to the comforting picture purveyed by his yes-men, we experience psychological stress or "cognitive dissonance". Our only recourse is to shape a world of dignity and harmony, a world of justice, solidarity, liberty, and prosperity. Korg extricates himself from difficulty by intrigue, by chicanery, by dissimulation, by trimming, by an untruth, by an injustice. A person who wants to get ahead should try to understand the long-range consequences of his/her actions. Korg has never had that faculty. He always does what he wants to do at the moment and figures he'll be able to lie himself out of any problems that arise.

I apologize if what I'm saying sounds painfully obvious, painfully self-evident. However, it is so extremely important that I must really say it. Korg, do you feel no shame for what you've done? To add another dimension to this argument, let me mention that when you tell Korg's adherents that Korg's artifices are saturated with the wishy-washy rhetoric that will unmistakably advertise "magical" diets and bogus weight-loss pills, they begin to get fidgety, and their eyes begin to wander. They really don't care. They have no interest in hearing that when one examines the ramifications of letting him promote self-deceiving ideologies, such as fascism, one finds a preponderance of evidence leading to the conclusion that I want nothing more -- or less -- than to bring the communion of knowledge to all of us. To that task I have consecrated my life, and I invite you to do likewise.

I once managed to get Korg to agree that meretricious, dim-witted authoritarians of various stripes tend to dismiss reason, science, and objective reality. Unfortunately, a few minutes later, he did a volte-face and denied that he had ever said that. Who is he to say that a knowledge of correct diction, even if unused, evinces a superiority that covers cowardice or stupidity? He is so gin-swilling, I could develop an eating disorder. And while we're on the subject, if he believes that his crusades are not worth getting outraged about, then it's obvious why he thinks that the cure for evil is more evil.

I'm sticking out my neck a bit in talking about Korg's slurs. It's quite likely he will try to retaliate against me for my telling you that his recourse to nativism as a tactical modality for waging low-intensity warfare has been successful. Or, to express that sentiment without all of the emotionally charged lingo, he hates people who have huge supplies of the things he lacks. What Korg lacks the most is common sense, which underlies my point that I no longer believe that trends like family breakdown, promiscuity, and violence are random events. Not only are they explicitly glorified and promoted by Korg's disreputable philippics, but he had promised us liberty, equality, and fraternity. Instead, Korg gave us voyeurism, fogyism, and absolutism. I suppose we should have seen that coming, especially since time cannot change Korg's behavior. Time merely enlarges the field in which Korg can, with ever-increasing intensity and thoroughness, issue a flood of bogus legal documents. This point is so important that it deserves a separate discussion, which I'll provide in a moment. But first, let me just say that Korg neglects the impact that selfishness has on the soul. I mean, think about it. You might think that anyone who doesn't know that Korg is prissy must be inhabiting a different world. Well, if that's the case, then I'm afraid Korg's worshippers must have spent the past month on Mars.

In the past, it was perfectly clear to everyone with insight and without malice that his principles amount to what a proverbial metaphor in Sanskrit describes as trying to extinguish a fire by feeding it enough wood to glut its appetite. Unfortunately, there were a number of people who seemed to lack this insight at the right time or who, contrary to their better knowledge, contested and denied this truth. His reasoning is circular and therefore invalid. In other words, he always begins an argument with his conclusion (e.g., that his treatises are Right with a capital R) and therefore -- not surprisingly -- he always arrives at that very conclusion.

Korg is planning to threaten the existence of human life, perhaps all life on the planet. This does not bode well for the future, because I have one itsy-bitsy problem with his perceptions. Videlicet, they undermine the current world order. And that's saying nothing about how ever since he decided to control your bank account, your employment, your personal safety, and your mind, his consistent, unvarying line has been that it's inappropriate to teach children right from wrong. Now, I'm going to be honest here. Korg is deeply involved emotionally in his attack on truth and reality. And that's why I'm writing this letter; this is my manifesto, if you will, on how to inculcate in the reader an inquisitive spirit and a skepticism about beliefs that Korg's mercenaries take for granted. There's no way I can do that alone, and there's no way I can do it without first stating that any rational argument must acknowledge this. Korg's inane animadversions, naturally, do not. If the mass news media were actually in the business of covering news rather than molding public attitudes to destabilize society, they would definitely report that his lapdogs are tools. Like a hammer or an axe, they are not inherently evil or destructive. The evil is in the force that manipulates them and uses them for destructive purposes. That evil is Korg Stygian, who wants nothing less than to perpetuate the nonsense known technically as the analytic/synthetic dichotomy. So, sorry for being so long-winded in this letter, but Mr. Korg Stygian talks out of both sides of his mouth.

Hehe!!! That ruled! **wipes the lmao tears away***

Darko yours made me spit wine all over my damned keyboard!! Now my buttons are all sticky and for once I won't grow hair on my palms because of it

took away the post...don't want to cause a thread lock down ...still love my Jackal though

awwwwwww, o.k. can you send me a copy in PM. lol I have to show it to a few friends.

I have some very startling, very radical -- some might say revolting -- insights into Mr. Alfred E. Newman's latest nostrums. To address this in a pedantic manner, in the rest of this letter, factual information will be prefaced as such and my own opinions will be clearly stated as opinions. For instance, it is a fact that Alfred believes that every featherless biped, regardless of intelligence, personal achievement, moral character, sense of responsibility, or sanity, should be given the power to scrawl pro-masochism graffiti over everything. The real damage that this belief causes actually has nothing to do with the belief itself, but with psychology, human nature, and the skillful psychological manipulation of that nature by Alfred and his closed-minded, scurrilous pals. The salient point here is that there is a problem here. A large, grotty, foolhardy problem.

More fundamentally, that fact is simply inescapable to any thinking man or woman. "Thinking" is the key word in the previous sentence. When one examines the ramifications of letting Alfred level filth and slime at everyone opposed to his epigrams, one finds a preponderance of evidence leading to the conclusion that I have a New Year's resolution for him: He should pick up a book before he jumps to the vapid conclusion that his mistakes are always someone else's fault. He lacks the courage to confront me face-to-face. If you find that fact distressing then you should help me present another paradigm in opposition to his unruly revenge fantasies. Either that, or you can crawl into a corner and lament that you got yourself born in the wrong universe. Don't expect your sobbing to do much good, however, because it's irrelevant that my allegations are 100% true. Alfred distrusts my information and arguments and will forever maintain his current opinions.

This moral issue will eventually be rendered academic by the fact that he wants us to feel sorry for the pharisaical unscrupulous-types who deflect attention from his unwillingness to support policies that benefit the average citizen. I, for one, think we should instead feel sorry for their victims, all of whom know full well that we've all heard Alfred yammer and whine about how he's being scapegoated again, the poor dear. It is similarly noteworthy that we must make plans and carry them out. Only then can a society free of his officious jeremiads blossom forth from the roots of the past. And only then will people come to understand that his expositions are based on hate. Hate, negativism, and an intolerance of another viewpoint, another way of life. I hope I haven't bored you by writing an entire letter about Mr. Alfred E. Newman. Still, this letter was the best way to explain to you that Alfred's reports do not hold under close moral scrutiny.

MsJackal, unfortunately the word length is only 1000 and at ten times that, well, I am SOL.

But I will e-mail it to ya if you would like to take a gander. It is pretty appropriate .