My (unappreciated) workplace humor

I have been asked to remove the "hostile" display on top of my monitor.

ROFLMAO!!! What a bunch of ninnies your bosses are.

lmao

i think that instead of removing them you should knock them all down, cut their heads off and smother them in 'blood' from a sachet of ketchup and protest that ordering them removed meant they had to be culled.

Are you serious?!

LOL That is so cute!!

I agree - with Kris. What asshats.

Also, doing something like that would make asshat co-workers less likely to mess with you or complain about you in the future.

Oooh the blood is a nice touch! I was thinking of making a statement by cutting off their little legs and leaving them in a pile on my supervisor's desk, along with a note explaining how they are "crippling" my creativity, and I cannot be expected to work under such circumstances.

You nut. I love you lol. My coworkers all agreed that your decoration is very tasteful

I think you should replace it with a display of a toy robot genuflecting to a plastic mushroom.

== danny d.

Magic! I never see you around any more

== danny d.

Things you can do to get back at them:

Sing the Badger theme incessantly. (I do this and now I have another nutty co-worker doing it, he walks by my cube singing Badger, Badger and I holler "Snake, Snake". Drives my boss apeshit. )

Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance. (I've done this with cryptography in meetings - it's such a hoot to see them act like they know just what your talking about.)

Make up nicknames for all your coworkers and refer to them only by these names. "That's a good point, Sparky." "No I'm sorry I'm going to have to disagree with you there, Chachi."

Send email to the rest of the company telling them what you're doing.
For example "If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom."

"Hi-lite" your shoes. Tell people that you haven't lost your shoes
since you did this.

While sitting at your desk, soak your fingers in "Palmolive."

Put up mosquito netting around your cubicle and play jungle music all day.

Put a chair facing a printer, sit there all day and tell people you're
waiting for your document.

Arrive at a meeting late, say you're sorry, but you didn't have time
for lunch, and you're going to be nibbling during the meeting. During
the meeting eat 5 entire raw potatoes.

Insist that your e-mail address be
"zena_hosequeen_of_fire@companyname.com".

Every time someone asks you to do something, ask them if they want
fries with that.

Send email to yourself engaging yourself in an intelligent debate about the direction of one of your company's products. Forward the mail to a co-worker and ask her to settle the disagreement.

Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little badger dancing.

Put your garbage can on your desk. Label it "IN."

Determine how many cups of coffee is "too many."

Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.

Decorate your office with pictures of Cindy Brady and Danny Partridge.

Try to pass them off as your children.

For a relaxing break, get away from it all with a mask and snorkel in
the fish tank. If no one notices, take out your snorkel and see how
many you can catch in your mouth.

Send e-mail messages saying free pizza, free donuts etc... in the
lunchroom, when people complain that there was none... Just lean back,
pat your stomach, and say, "Oh you've got to be faster than that."

Put decaf in the coffeemaker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten
over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment. (Always a winner for a laugh)

Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to co-workers through it. (I actually do this)

OMG! What have you done to my peeps!?

I was trying to save them till they get hard and crunchy!

LMAO HQ BRILLIANT! What the hell is up your co-workers' asses? That's the cutest thing EVAR. Least the chick isn't like mangled into pieces with just a toe left twitching. Maybe scribble a big smile on its beak to show everyone, hey, it likes it! LOL I love it.

Yum - Peeps are best when they are hard and crunchy. Sort of like gnawing on baby chicken bones.

Peeps are best frozen. Hard & chewy yet still fresh.

STOP IT NOW ROSE. You are going to get me in trouble! I have read through your list atleast five times and i laugh just as hard each time.. i can actually picture these lol you are great!

I'd just say "No". What are they gunna do? Nothing you can't SUE THEM TO BLAZES over I would hope

Oh Rose those are great! I love this one:

Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.

Yesterday I drew a happy face on my finger, and told my co-worker that "Wayne" would be accompanying me to all future meetings - I think the chick incident is just retaliation.

Or maybe I just need to grow up

http://www.monster.com/

*sigh* Your boss must be ralated to mine

Stick cans of this on your desk, they will soon back off then

Advice from Old Rose: Grow old, grow tall, grow fat if you must. But NEVER grow up!

I almost hate to ask...but where does one get some erektus? All we have in the states is Red Bull?

LOL buggered if I know, just found the pic! Britain isn't THAT weird o.O

Try mixing that Erektus with a 69. It works nicely.

Wow!
I thought my dad and I were the only ones who did that!

they are so good that way!